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Anyone else's parents weird about sharing info on health problems with other fam

I guess I don't talk with my grandma as much as I should, bu...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/22/18
it's non of your business creep
Burgundy Maniacal Electric Furnace
  04/22/18
My grandmother moving into assisted living is none of my bus...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18
yeah imagine having one foot in the grave and making your hu...
Burgundy Maniacal Electric Furnace
  04/23/18
You don't seem to understand, my dad is a narcissistic drama...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18
Wtf maybe he wants to visit her
big-titted glittery becky public bath
  04/23/18
They know you don't truly give a shit and are loath to engag...
Exhilarant maize chapel
  04/22/18
My grandma had a heart attack a couple of months ago and has...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18
I hate family gossip. They aren't there to "help each o...
ruby pit immigrant
  04/23/18
It's just really suspect right now, because my sister is mov...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18
Why not straight up ask them?
ruby pit immigrant
  04/23/18
I will talk with them about it. I talked with them earlie...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18
Sorry, man. I personally hate my family and have kept my dis...
ruby pit immigrant
  04/23/18
I get it. I moved away from my family precisely because of h...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18
i get that you are hurt because this is pretty big news, and...
Internet-worthy gas station
  04/23/18
Well, she's definitely been on a bit of decline over the las...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18
he's ashamed that he's putting her in a home instead of taki...
Bespoke histrionic native
  04/23/18
...
Internet-worthy gas station
  04/23/18
...
razzle national coldplay fan
  04/23/18
To some extent, this is part of it. My dad lives in the s...
mahogany fanboi incel
  04/23/18


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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

I guess I don't talk with my grandma as much as I should, but tonight I found out from her that she is about to move into an assisted living facility.

My father has ordinarily been something of a clearinghouse on what is going on with everyone else in the family, so to not hear this information from him is pretty suspect. He definitely knew and chose not to share this with me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897868)



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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:54 PM
Author: Burgundy Maniacal Electric Furnace

it's non of your business creep

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897883)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:04 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

My grandmother moving into assisted living is none of my business?

My dad is happy to keep people in the loop on everything else that is going on in the family.

In fact, he's been on the flip side of this kind of thing in the past. He blabbed about my sister's miscarriage to a bunch of people, which royally pissed off my sister

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897964)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:22 AM
Author: Burgundy Maniacal Electric Furnace

yeah imagine having one foot in the grave and making your humiliating end-of-life pretty much official by moving into a old fogey's home, I'm sure you'll be thinking "gee I hope my weird as fuck xo poaster grandson hears about this asap"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898071)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:37 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

You don't seem to understand, my dad is a narcissistic drama queen.

My grandma would have been happy to share what is going on with her but she's weird about calling people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898142)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:42 AM
Author: big-titted glittery becky public bath

Wtf maybe he wants to visit her

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898514)



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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:59 PM
Author: Exhilarant maize chapel

They know you don't truly give a shit and are loath to engage in the whole "Aunt Doris had her leg removed" "Oh, such a pity!" pantomime with you. Call her sometime and find out for yourself.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897935)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:07 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

My grandma had a heart attack a couple of months ago and has legit been on the mend.

I called her once not so long ago and she told me that she fell down trying to answer my call. She wasn't injured, but fuck it hurt to hear :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897981)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:01 AM
Author: ruby pit immigrant

I hate family gossip. They aren't there to "help each other" but to "learn about what's going on with each other." It's interesting gossip to get once in a while, and as long as you call back to "check" you can pretend you give a shit while doing nothing for them.

I hate my extended family and never talk to them because of the above stated facts.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897944)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:13 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

It's just really suspect right now, because my sister is moving and my parents have stepped in to try and help as much as they can (despite living a couple hundred miles away from her and being old and not really able to lift stuff)

Meanwhile my grandma is moving in a matter of weeks and they can't even mention it to me?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898019)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:33 AM
Author: ruby pit immigrant

Why not straight up ask them?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898126)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:44 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

I will talk with them about it.

I talked with them earlier today and they didn't say anything about it. I found out later this evening when I talked with my grandma myself.

This thread though isn't exactly about her, it's about my parents selectively not sharing things when they ought to, and sharing other things when it's pretty clear that they shouldn't.

It's really fucking frustrating

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898170)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:00 AM
Author: ruby pit immigrant

Sorry, man. I personally hate my family and have kept my distance from them for other reasons, so I feel you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898413)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:09 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

I get it. I moved away from my family precisely because of how shitty they can be.

I just wish I'd be more kept in the loop on the really serious stuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898453)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:18 AM
Author: Internet-worthy gas station

i get that you are hurt because this is pretty big news, and it sounds like you were the last to hear. i might also think it was an intentional omission given your dads past behavior, which is indeoendently hurtful

It's a difficult transition both for your grandma and your dad. i really try not to infer bad intentions, so maybe now that you know, focis on being as helpful as your can to your grandma.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898052)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:32 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

Well, she's definitely been on a bit of decline over the last year or so.

This thread isn't even really about her though TBH. It's about my dad either omitting info or oversharing at basically every possible opportunity.

There have been multiple events with himself and my mother that I didn't hear about until unacceptably late in the process of things. Somewhat recently, he passed out and had the rescue squad called on him and I didn't find out until well afterward.

He put the family dog down when I was in college without telling me about it beforehand.

With my sister's miscarriage, she suddenly started getting sympathy cards in the mail from fairly distant relatives despite her only telling our mother about it. It was her first pregnancy and she was pretty distraught about it. My sister was so pissed that she ceased talking to my mom and dad, which made my mother nearly suicidal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898123)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:20 AM
Author: Bespoke histrionic native

he's ashamed that he's putting her in a home instead of taking her in, and is shocked that as a boomer he can feel shame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898059)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:21 AM
Author: Internet-worthy gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898066)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:12 AM
Author: razzle national coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898462)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:35 AM
Author: mahogany fanboi incel

To some extent, this is part of it.

My dad lives in the same city as my grandma.

My dad has this second home a hundred miles or so away from my grandma. He absolutely loves it there but she's supposedly been lobbying to get them to spend more time on her & less time at their vacation home

Getting old sucks for real and I don't envy my father or grandmother in the totality of all of this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898502)