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I still don't know what the fuck a "Project Management Professional" does

What the fuck is an Agile or a Jira? Why does "Lean Six...
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
It's my understanding companies give them projects and they ...
Upset Jew The Poa-star
  07/12/18
Would you say that they manage them professionally?
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
...
cornhusker
  07/12/18
Not flame, buddy of mine has MBA in "project management...
Upset Jew The Poa-star
  07/12/18
this is accurate
THOT_RAVAGER
  07/12/18
It's a role that exists because software "engineers&quo...
alzabo
  07/12/18
...
sharia lawyer
  07/12/18
Ive worked woth many Six Sigma/Lean certified people. All we...
.;:..;:;.:.;.,,,.,.:,.;;,;;;..;,
  07/12/18
6 sigma is also a massive management prank as well, fratstar...
sharia lawyer
  07/12/18
I don't even know what they do. Do they just manage a team o...
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
you clearly don't work in tech. Agile is just corporate spea...
Oh, you travel?
  07/12/18
>you clearly don't work in tech. if i worked in tech, ...
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
wait then why am i here
Oh, you travel?
  07/12/18
the call of race realism keeps you here
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
titcq
cornhusker
  07/12/18
AGILE is the funniest "time management" scam that ...
sharia lawyer
  07/12/18
lead conference calls where they tell people doing actual wo...
jung
  07/12/18
that sounds amazing, can i do that for a living? i can send ...
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
you need good social skills and have to be organized enough ...
.,,...,..,,,:,:,...,:::.,..,..:,.,.:..:.,:.::,.
  07/12/18
i actually have good social skills (yes i know, i post on a ...
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
Lol "the profession" of being a secretary
byzantium
  07/12/18
for >100k a year i'll be a secretary. certainly beats rev...
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
Just to be clear secretary isn't a profession
byzantium
  07/12/18
Not anymore since it got feminized, but it doesn't have to b...
Sickly argumentative UES Jew in puffy jacket
  07/12/18
...
cornhusker
  07/12/18
Yup, they basically have a spreadsheet of who's doing what, ...
Boichester United
  07/12/18
I really want to do this job. I feel like I would be good at...
shrimp po boy
  07/12/18
Agile is not a scam you retards. Lol, please stop discussing...
.......,,,,,,,,
  07/12/18
(condescending wagecuck specializing in Agile)
Upset Jew The Poa-star
  07/12/18
My job has nothing to do with project management. But I do w...
.......,,,,,,,,
  07/12/18
(Certified Scam Master)
Stepping over Syringes in San Fran
  07/12/18
i'm a PM. 1/3 of the time we're just professional babysitter...
THOT_RAVAGER
  07/12/18
Project Management forms a substantial component of my job, ...
Krampusnacht
  07/12/18
Lmao at this “job”
.;:..;:;.:.;.,,,.,.:,.;;,;;;..;,
  07/12/18
?
Krampusnacht
  07/12/18
is your wife indian? is she fat?
prince rat fuck spinning
  07/12/18
i work in tech in an agile/jira environment. they do all the...
6ft party sub
  07/12/18


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: July 12th, 2018 4:45 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

What the fuck is an Agile or a Jira? Why does "Lean Six Sigma" sound like some kind of trendy diet that's popular among thirtysomething shrews? What the fuck do these people do all day? Can I learn it?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413717)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:46 PM
Author: Upset Jew The Poa-star

It's my understanding companies give them projects and they manage them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413723)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

Would you say that they manage them professionally?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413725)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: cornhusker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413769)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: Upset Jew The Poa-star

Not flame, buddy of mine has MBA in "project management". Now helps manage construction, renovations and other "projects" for a hotel company. I think it's mainly about improving efficiency in terms of time and cost and keeping moving parts on task. I think? I don't know.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413777)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 5:14 PM
Author: THOT_RAVAGER

this is accurate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413962)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: alzabo

It's a role that exists because software "engineers" are faggots who need to be tortured. It is the one thing that tech gets right.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413726)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:49 PM
Author: sharia lawyer



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413753)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: .;:..;:;.:.;.,,,.,.:,.;;,;;;..;,


Ive worked woth many Six Sigma/Lean certified people. All were useless in improving processes. They just created more work for everyone but got credit for “improving” the process

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413727)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:48 PM
Author: sharia lawyer

6 sigma is also a massive management prank as well, fratstar executives never NOT dunking on tech dweebs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413741)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:48 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

I don't even know what they do. Do they just manage a team of software engineers? Why aren't the software engineers being managed by, oh I don't know, a slightly more senior software engineer?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413742)



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Date: July 12th, 2018 4:48 PM
Author: Oh, you travel?

you clearly don't work in tech. Agile is just corporate speak that signals a communication process between development, operations, and management. Jira is software that tech professionals use to track and request edits to the codebase and infrastructure.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413736)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:49 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

>you clearly don't work in tech.

if i worked in tech, why in the fuck would i spend all my time posting on a racist law board

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413755)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:50 PM
Author: Oh, you travel?

wait then why am i here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413758)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:50 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

the call of race realism keeps you here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413765)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: cornhusker

titcq

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413773)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:48 PM
Author: sharia lawyer

AGILE is the funniest "time management" scam that i've heard of in awhile

everyone that i've known who's had to deal with it at work says it actually ends up making every department that uses it significantly less efficient

re: your question, think of those people in the 90s who used to specialize in "ISO 9001" compliance, ljl. they do nothing of real value

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413737)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:48 PM
Author: jung (luis)

lead conference calls where they tell people doing actual work what to do and then send e-mails to remind people to complete tasks .

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413739)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:50 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

that sounds amazing, can i do that for a living? i can send emails for a living. i'm good at emailing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413760)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:52 PM
Author: .,,...,..,,,:,:,...,:::.,..,..:,.,.:..:.,:.::,.


you need good social skills and have to be organized enough to keep track of what everyone is doing. managing a bunch of people is tough for aspies

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413780)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:54 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

i actually have good social skills (yes i know, i post on a racist chatboard, how is it possible that i have good social skills). i kind of want to look into the profession now.

also--i know two PMPs, and both of them have extremely mediocre social skills. like, they're not completely useless, but they pretty much can't hold a conversation on their own. both make good $$ though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413794)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 5:01 PM
Author: byzantium

Lol "the profession" of being a secretary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413863)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 5:58 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

for >100k a year i'll be a secretary. certainly beats revising contracts for 12 hours a day

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36414258)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 6:19 PM
Author: byzantium

Just to be clear secretary isn't a profession

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36414394)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 9:09 PM
Author: Sickly argumentative UES Jew in puffy jacket

Not anymore since it got feminized, but it doesn't have to be that way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36415462)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: cornhusker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413774)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:57 PM
Author: Boichester United

Yup, they basically have a spreadsheet of who's doing what, what the agreed upon deadlines are for each thing, and keeps track of what is on time and what isn't.

In my experience they often have almost no knowledge of the industry or the project.

Basically a PTA mom for the corporate world or something.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413828)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:58 PM
Author: shrimp po boy

I really want to do this job. I feel like I would be good at it. I'm good at hassling people and keeping track of shit. Those are my two main skills, honestly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413836)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:53 PM
Author: .......,,,,,,,,

Agile is not a scam you retards. Lol, please stop discussing things you dont understand. Tyia.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413786)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:54 PM
Author: Upset Jew The Poa-star

(condescending wagecuck specializing in Agile)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413791)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:58 PM
Author: .......,,,,,,,,

My job has nothing to do with project management. But I do work in tech and calling Agile a "scam" is just dumb.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413831)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 6:10 PM
Author: Stepping over Syringes in San Fran

(Certified Scam Master)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36414349)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:53 PM
Author: THOT_RAVAGER

i'm a PM. 1/3 of the time we're just professional babysitters, 1/3 of the time we're doing logistics, 1/3 of the time we're poasting on our internet forum of choice

i enjoy it, you get to do a lot of different stuff at work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413789)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 4:56 PM
Author: Krampusnacht

Project Management forms a substantial component of my job, though not 100% of my job. I have a Project Management Professional (PMP) certification from the Project Management Institute (PMI).

The guy above got it mostly right. My most important duty is to lead a conference call or meeting once or twice a week, which everyone who is doing work on the project attends. I then ask them all for an update on what they're doing and see if the project is still on schedule, if any risks have materialized, etc. I also meet with key executives once or twice a week and brief them on the status of each of my projects.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36413815)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 6:01 PM
Author: .;:..;:;.:.;.,,,.,.:,.;;,;;;..;,


Lmao at this “job”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36414284)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 6:02 PM
Author: Krampusnacht

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36414294)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 6:17 PM
Author: prince rat fuck spinning

is your wife indian? is she fat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36414389)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2018 9:02 PM
Author: 6ft party sub

i work in tech in an agile/jira environment. they do all the work that the developers can do but dont want to do. I dont want to host meetings and take fucking notes/minutes. or constantly be "following up" with people. i dont want to maintain some stupid spreadsheet and worry about "deliverables". they add a degree of value, but are overpaid for what they actually "do".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4024222&forum_id=2#36415388)