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XO Dadmos: first kid arrives in days. What advice for new father?
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:40 PM Author: Excitant bbw Yes, its mine. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563109) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:39 PM Author: Nighttime harsh pocket flask electric furnace Lol no (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563555) |
Date: August 6th, 2018 12:41 PM Author: Exciting hilarious feces Your life will be hell for 3-6 months. Start sleep training after 3 or 4. Don't listen to people who tell you not to sleep train. Don't take anything mean your wife says personally or seriously. Don't ever yell or get upset at her. If you can make it 6 months, shit will get a lot better. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563117) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:43 PM Author: Curious idea he suggested theater stage Pretty good advice. Also, figure out stuff that needs to get done and just do it. Don’t be one of those guys who waits around for his wife to tell him what to do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563126) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:07 PM Author: aggressive glassy philosopher-king File this one under general life advice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563357) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:47 PM Author: Excitant bbw This is good advice. My biggest challenge is going to be reacting to my wife. I legitmately need to find a way to cope with the stress of her incredibly high standards for shit around the house.
We are planning to have kid sleep in own room almost immediately. Were on the same page regarding sleep training. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:02 PM Author: silver mind-boggling becky I'll probably get shit for this, but formula digests slower than breast milk
Even if your wife breast feed through the day, if you do a bottle before bed, it'll help the kid sleep |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:28 PM Author: obsidian underhanded hissy fit market Advice for dealing with wife: this is exactly why God invented booze. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36566523) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:24 PM Author: anal chapel queen of the night Upside is that 6 months to a year is probably the easiest time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563474) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 5:50 PM Author: mint station pozpig cr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565238) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 5:52 PM Author: Insane Cracking Boiling Water ? Just use the cry it out method and earplugs. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565250) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:41 PM Author: diverse massive patrolman All CR (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565518) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:45 PM Author: Chest-beating Bespoke School Partner What is the name of the gentleman with whom you’ve procreated?
Seriously though, congrats. Take at least 2-3 weeks off from work if you can. Spend as much time with babydood as you can. If your job will let you remote work sometimes, do it. If not, seriously consider a lateral move to a place with a flex working policy. Society has conditioned us to believe that men should work alone in an office from 8:30-6:30 and, considering infants/toddlers go to bed by 8, only see their kids on the weekend. That’s bullshit and you should find a way to circumvent it.
Do everything you can to create a stable environment for your kid (schedules and routines) and enrich them (read to them, practice colors and animal names, etc). You can do a ton to boost their IQ and long term emotional health during the first year.
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:49 PM Author: Excitant bbw Good stuff.
Get two weeks of paternity leave, plus I have a ton of vacation saved up. House is a 10min walk from office, so I will likely go home during lunch. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:50 PM Author: Chest-beating Bespoke School Partner 180 if you can come home even 2-3 days a week for 30 or 45 mins to play with your kid. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:52 PM Author: Excitant bbw Easily. Will just run to and from and use that as my PT time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 5:43 PM Author: anal chapel queen of the night 180. test out how cool they are with you coming home for lunch and not coming back. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565186) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:45 PM Author: rose theatre I'm told you must feed it every day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563155) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:56 PM Author: Deep jewess pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563260) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:46 PM Author: hairraiser codepig parlor Don't wait too long to have another one, especially if you are in your 30s (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563160) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:49 PM Author: Excitant bbw 35, wife is 30. We’d like to have 2-3. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563199) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:51 PM Author: Swollen business firm half-breed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563222) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:47 PM Author: primrose pistol point make sure you have a diaper genie. don't fall for the cloth diaper horseshit. avoid as much of the crazy mommyblog advice shit as you can
set expectations for your family and her family. start thinking about Thanksgiving/Christmas now and where you will be, where you will stay, etc. because if you wait until the typical time when you make those decisions everything will turn into an emotional wasteland
consider some sort of meal service for a month or two, whether it's pre-cooked, frozen, etc. she isn't going to cook and the two of you will get fat in a hurry eating takeout every night.
encourage breastfeeding as long as possible but when she inevitably has a meltdown about it let her use a breast pump. avoid formula as much as possible.
make sure you keep up your exercise as much as possible.
keep an eye on your wife for post-partum depression. make sure you're as supportive of her as you can be. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:51 PM Author: Excitant bbw This is really good stuff and I have been thinking sbout it. Alresdy stocking the extra fridge with frozen meats and veggies and the pantry with quick and easy items.
Diaper genie already setup in kid’s room.
I get an hour to go to gym during workday, will take full advantage. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:59 PM Author: rose theatre When you're at the gym, don't forget to ogle the young 20-something women with firm asses and legs and contemplate how life is all downhill for you from now on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563290) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:00 PM Author: At-the-ready Contagious Crackhouse outted as clothmo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563303) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:20 PM Author: henna appetizing senate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563442) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:57 PM Author: Narrow-minded Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563273) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:19 PM Author: Lascivious Territorial Resort Halford I agree with most of this stuff, but formula is not the poison the mommy bloggers say it is. If it's a choice between your kid getting enough to eat and eating 100% breast milk, FEED YOUR KID. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563825) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:48 PM Author: Swollen business firm half-breed leave the country? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563185) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 11:15 PM Author: wild poppy really tough guy brethren Lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36567155) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:51 PM Author: ivory famous landscape painting Kids don't get interesting until after age 1 or so, when they start to express basic ideas and personality. Prior to that, they're just noisy shitmakers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563221) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:52 PM Author: At-the-ready Contagious Crackhouse try to dissuade your wife from doing too much reading about baby blogs or parenting magazine or whatever. The hardest part of the first IMO is the disconnect between your mental image of what raising a baby will be like, and what it's actually like. these blogs and magazines exacerbate that - they are trying to sell you something, and that means presenting an idealized image.
your comment about your wife's high standards is a red flag. those standards are going to have to go out the door, at least for a few months. if you have to hire help, do it. I regret not hiring a housekeeper, at least a weekly one, when the first kid was born |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:53 PM Author: primrose pistol point last part is cr but then it becomes "we have to clean for the cleaners"
if you hire outside help it needs to be with the understanding that that person is doing all the work. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:53 PM Author: crimson forum If breastfeeding, your wife's colostrum may not arrive immediately. If that's the case, have the baby nurse on the breast, but give it formula, too.
If you have to use formula, American ones are shit. You know this when the primary ingredient is corn syrup. Order organic formula from Germany.
Consider hiring a doula, and if necessary, a lactation consultant. Breastfeeding is not easy. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:54 PM Author: Swollen business firm half-breed (rat fuck) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563245) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:55 PM Author: crimson forum so? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563252) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:55 PM Author: At-the-ready Contagious Crackhouse this "advice" applies to like 1% of women (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563254) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:55 PM Author: Sienna bateful base scourge upon the earth If you can afford it, have two sets of the essentials, particularly bottles so you're not washing them all the time. A second diaper bad is also handy to grab and go, again so you're not stocking it all the time.
Be kind to her and yourself. You'll make mistakes, she will take stuff out on you and you on her, just let slide. Tons of stress in the beginning but they're amazing after. One is manageable, you'll do great. Congrats brother!!!!
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:57 PM Author: Excitant bbw “Be kind to her and yourself.”
This is so simple and important, yet sometimes difficult to live by. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:59 PM Author: Sienna bateful base scourge upon the earth It'll be tested even more since as much as you're ready to have kids (you are right?), this is a new stressor for you both. GL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563295) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:00 PM Author: Excitant bbw Yeah, were ready. This was very much planned. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563301) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:11 PM Author: Sienna bateful base scourge upon the earth Cool.yeah like many poasters have alluded, time is at a premium during the initial period so if you can spend a little to capture it back, do it. Amazing what a couple extra min fifteen mins can do during this time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563373) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:18 PM Author: silver mind-boggling becky this is good advice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563429) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:56 PM Author: Opaque internal respiration First kid will be easy.
A lot will depend on your wife’s personality. Between hormones and changes to her body, she’ll need to know that you don’t just see her as a mom.
Pay extra for convenience—especially when traveling (take a full day off from work instead of trying to squeeze in a half day, get the comfortable seats, take the more convenient flight, rent the bigger car, etc...).
Get in the habit of regular date nights. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:59 PM Author: Excitant bbw Goal is to limit travel to road trips whenever possible. We just moved to the Seattle area, so there are tons of places to visit within driving distance.
Good call on the date nights. Already planning our first aeekwnd away when her mom comes to visit: |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 12:58 PM Author: Vivacious depressive chad Give your wife space to be crazy. You have to know when to CALMLY bring her back in if she gets too far out though brother.
I had a challenge with this because both my wife and I are hot heads. Had to learn how to chill the fuck out and just do what she's wants done for a couple of months. Very important that your wife is not stressed |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:00 PM Author: Excitant bbw How do you dial it back when you feel youre about to explode? I havent figured this out yet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563296) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:25 PM Author: Vivacious depressive chad Brother uv got to figure this out on your own. Just realize (1) she's not herself, (2) unless it's causing harm to her or the baby, let her do whatever she wants.
My wife just had her fifth a couple months ago. We were late running errands yesterday and while we were sitting in the car waiting for her, she was inside vacuuming. Just have to let that kinda shit go lmao |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:00 PM Author: Narrow-minded Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563300) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:00 PM Author: Excitant bbw Seriously. Pleasantly surprised. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563305) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:03 PM Author: Narrow-minded Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563328) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:01 PM Author: Curious idea he suggested theater stage Heads up - your wife’s boobs will be spectacular but you won’t be able to touch them. Frustrating. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563306) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:01 PM Author: At-the-ready Contagious Crackhouse very cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563311) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:22 PM Author: henna appetizing senate won't be able to touch them?
LJL |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:18 PM Author: henna appetizing senate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563811) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:01 PM Author: Lascivious Territorial Resort Halford In the first 6 months, get sleep when you can. When the kid's asleep, you sleep. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563308) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:04 PM Author: transparent orchestra pit Lubricate before fucking or the baby will explode (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563333) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:07 PM Author: Narrow-minded Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563355) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:07 PM Author: apoplectic purple national indirect expression Sleep.now (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563350) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:09 PM Author: umber 180 tanning salon She will be on an emotional roller coaster for several weeks after delivery. It's part hormones, part stress of being a new mom and the pressure that comes with.
Encourage her to find a local moms group to join, especially if she decides to stay home. Don't let her feel isolated.
Be very careful/gentle with anything that can be remotely construed as a criticism of her mothering abilities. She will be super sensitive.
Expect a lot of anxiety from her the first couple of months. All the pressure is on her to do it right/get it right. Be as supportive as possible. Don't be dismissive of her concerns.
Be prepared for a rough first night home from the hospital. Breastmilk still usually isn't in yet, and baby is starving. Have one bottle of instant formula ready in the pantry just in case you get desperate. Baby literally only needs like a tablespoon or less. Otherwise just take baby from her for a while and let her drink a bunch of water and rest.
Be prepared for colic between 6 and 12 weeks. Baby will just cry/freakout for no apparent reason, usually at the same time every day (after dinnertime). Just sing, comfort, walk around and do what you can. By 12 weeks this and sleep gets MUCH easier as baby will finally slip into a circadian rhythm.
Don't put yourself in a position where you are likely to fall asleep while holding or lying next to baby. Always sit up, and if you are starting to fall asleep, put baby down somewhere safe and soothing, like a swing.
Just remember that the 12-week mark is where it gets a lot easier. Baby fills up more, and wants to sleep during the night instead of just randomly wanting to be up for 2 hours. Any colic settles then as well. Keep that time frame in mind and just work toward it.
All that being said, you are in for an amazing ride and you will not believe you can have the capacity for love that you hold for this little dooder. Enjoy it! |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:18 PM Author: primrose pistol point all of this is very good. 2-4 is essential. she's got to have a community, especially since it sounds like OP is in a new city away from family. but it has to be a balance.
my wife joining a mom's group probably saved our marriage and my career, but you have to understand that you're going to have some crazies in that group. the less of that she can absorb, the better. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:19 PM Author: Twisted Concupiscible Range Alpha describe some of the crazies (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563827) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 5:48 PM Author: primrose pistol point woman who commutes to a mom's group in NW DC from West Virginia. probably weighs 400 lbs, high school dropout. nice lady, but believes some wild conspiracy shit. recently had her second child. didn't feel the child kick much during pregnancy and ultrasound indicated a lower than usual heartbeat, but she cheerfully chalked this up to her pre-existing obesity and that the blubber was simply masking things. child was born with massive birth defects and will need 24/7 care for life
numerous women that constantly bitch about their husbands
numerous women that are obviously brainwashed in some capacity by their husbands
some are cool. i've hung out with some of the husbands before and we had a good time |
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Date: August 7th, 2018 1:13 PM Author: Twisted Concupiscible Range Alpha Examples of being brainwashed by their husband? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36570056) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:19 PM Author: Narrow-minded Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563435) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:23 PM Author: henna appetizing senate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563465) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:25 PM Author: Excitant bbw thank
She is going back to work after 8 weeks and we have a childcare center directly next door to my office and 10min walk from house. Hoping a spot opens up. If not, mother-in-law prepared to come live with us until we can get in. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:31 PM Author: umber 180 tanning salon How is MIL? Uptight like wife or a calming counterbalance? Will she be around after delivery? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563502) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:05 PM Author: Walnut charismatic sanctuary kitty PURPLE PERIOD is the new thing for colic. It’s like 3-5 months. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563757) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:38 PM Author: Flickering blathering university affirmative action If the baby is crying it wants to eat. "But I just fed it 30 minutes ago!". Doesn't matter, still wants to eat. If it does not take a bottle\tit, wait no it out and in 15 to 20 minutes it will be even hingrier from all the crying. I don't know what, but nee parents (me included) fall into this trap of thinking you just fed the kid so it CANT be hungry. Trust me, the kid is fucking hungry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563541) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:40 PM Author: umber 180 tanning salon STFU w this. The kid isn't always hungry. Sometimes it's comfort sucking. Oftentimes the kid is actually BORED. Read to it. Take it for a walk. Sing to it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563556) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:42 PM Author: Flickering blathering university affirmative action Lol. Reading to it and taking it for a walk are shit you should be doing anyways, not prompted by crying. The reality is the majority of new parents think there is a magic schedule or something and way underestimate how often kids get hungry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563571) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:44 PM Author: umber 180 tanning salon Constant feeding might apply the first week or so, but that's about it. Eventually they have a sizable stomach and the mom produces enough milk that baby is satisfied for a while. No 3-month-old needs to eat every 20 minutes and it would be more likely to be teething or gas than anything else. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563590) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:54 PM Author: Flickering blathering university affirmative action I'm not trying to say constant feeding, my point is that as a new parent you will tend to misperceive how long it's been since they have eaten and think they shouldn't be hungry yet. Sure, there is periods of teething or an upset stomach, but there is only so much that can be done about those things. If the kid isn't hungry it won't eat, so always offer it something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563663) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:57 PM Author: umber 180 tanning salon There comes a point where the boob is empty. It needs time to refill. It's not getting anything. It's just comfort sucking. There might be an occasional time where the kid is just voraciously hungry but most of the time what you're referring to is just comfort sucking, not eating. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563690) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:39 PM Author: Walnut charismatic sanctuary kitty You’re a pretty mediocre dad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565505) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 1:40 PM Author: Flickering blathering university affirmative action Also, let the kid be a kid. There is a world of difference in my family between the kids that the parents were overky concerned with germs, climbing, etc., and the kids that the parents just let do. Kids gonna get bruised as scraped up, but at 2 years he will either be a baby about it still or he will just get up and keep on trucking. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563562) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:00 PM Author: primrose pistol point there was an app that was really helpful that helped you log feedings, changes, etc. useful because you'll be sleep deprived and won't remember, can give info to dr, etc. can also plan things out, have it give you alarms, etc. unfortunately i can't remember the name of it, if I think of it I'll edit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563717) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:03 PM Author: Walnut charismatic sanctuary kitty Sleep train. You can start immediately.
Your wife is gonna be crazy. Tell her she’s a good mommy a few times a week. Change your share of diapers and don’t let her hero it.
Don’t drink if you’re gonna be in proximity with the kid. That is for solo trips now.
Play with the kid every day and look at them and contemplate them. This will be easier in six weeks when then smile. It literally stops your heart the first time they smile because they see you.
Take time for yourself (golf, gym, whatever) and INSIST your wife do the same while you bear all the child duties. You’ll realize how insanely hard she works.
Relax. After a few weeks imagine you were a single mother who needed to work. It’s not that hard, you mostly just have to show up. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:09 PM Author: At-the-ready Contagious Crackhouse "Tell her she’s a good mommy a few times a week." even if it's not truly true. maybe especially if. "wow you're a natural at this" "the two of you are so well bonded" - whatever. just say something (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563778) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:15 PM Author: kink-friendly cerise background story Practice good sleep habits starting from day 1. It may even negate the need to sleep train later on.
Read this book:
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, 4th Edition: A Step-by-Step Program for a Good Night's Sleep
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553394800/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_g9iABbE6FDB94
Everything else is pretty intuitive. Feed, sleep, play, repeat. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 2:21 PM Author: Twisted Concupiscible Range Alpha Numerous studies indicate that wife's pussyhole instinctually dries up when she sees husband change diapers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36563831) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:42 PM Author: diverse massive patrolman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565528) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:45 PM Author: Walnut charismatic sanctuary kitty Not sure you belong in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565542) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 5:51 PM Author: Emerald Dilemma the sleep situation is ungodly fucking awful at first, especially with the first one. we just had our second a month ago, and while it sucks that he's up all the time at night, this is nothing compared to the first time we went through it. it's seriously like being tortured. for 3-4 months.
just know that that ends.
make sure your wife is telling you how she is really feeling. my wife had pretty bad PPD and ended up going on prozac. i knew she was kinda down, but had no idea how bad it was until she went to see a shrink.
the kid doesn't really do anything interesting until like 6 months. up until then you're just feeding it and changing its diapers, waking up with it and listening to it cry.
someone poasted above that 6 mos-1 year is the best. it is, enjoy it. i rewatched the entire run of the sopranos on saturday mornings (my day to wake up with the baby) during that period where he was sleeping through the night but was not yet mobile or really even aware of his surroundings. now, he's 3 1/2 and we get up and he's running around the house throwing his toys around, watching kid movies, etc. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:06 PM Author: anal chapel queen of the night that's me. I wouldn't say it's the best but it is the easiest in the first 3 years or so. Having them actually doing more stuff, saying things and interacting with you is more 180 even if they're more of a pain in the ass. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565326) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:21 PM Author: Excitant bbw These responses are what Ill fall back on in a few weeks when Im rage poasting at 3am because Im up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565412) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:37 PM Author: Walnut charismatic sanctuary kitty Probably stay away from here. I TSINAH-threaded while the kid was a newborn and I don’t really like acknowledging that fact. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565497) |
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Date: August 7th, 2018 1:27 PM Author: Brilliant theater blood rage really? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36570155) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:31 PM Author: heady zombie-like stead laser beams Brother our kids will be born in the same month. Just did infant CPR class (terrifying). Great advice ITT - honestly this is xo at its best. I am feeling the same thing you are. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565466) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 6:51 PM Author: Vigorous hell dragon probably the only thing I've ever read here that might make me want to have a kid
xo i barely know ye
gl OP |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 7:01 PM Author: Submissive weed whacker dopamine This thread terrifies me. I can barely take care of myself. Is it cr to just leave the kid to scream out of earshot or will it die or something (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36565609) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 8:10 PM Author: honey-headed pungent hairy legs Buy the Snoo smart bassinet. Get it used off craigslist if you have to, just be sure to get the email and password the prior owner used.
Read the happiest baby on the block, babywise, 12 hours by 12 weeks, and bringing up bebe. My kid was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. (Wife had an over supply of milk, but kid still sleeps like a champ.)
Schedule is of paramount importance for first 4 months. Being rigid about feeding and bedtimes is in everyone's interest.
Don't keep your kid in a bubble and make sure to bring him or her out to loud restaurants, etc. constantly. Encourage eye contact. Etc. Try to read to him/her but don't worry if they aren't that interested.
Start daycare at 4 months if you can. It is easier at that time. They go through a period around 8 months when they realize you are leaving them which makes it harder if they aren't already comfortable with daycare.
At 6 months, start baby lead weaning. No stupid baby foods, purees, etc.
Don't feed your kid formula unless absolutely positively necessary. Kids get Chris Farley coke bloat from formula and it is bullshit and it hurts their immune system development.
Check out what benefits your work offers. Lots of biglaw firms offer backup care from Bright Horizons which is 20 days of free baby care you can actually schedule far in advance. Very helpful for if you think your kid is coming down with something, or if you just plan to work from home.
Start a 529 program and start an auto plan to put in what you can.
Listen to your wife and understand she's stressed and may be lonely if she's at home all day. As poaster above said, try taking the baby for a 4 hour stretch. You will understand how being a stay at home mom takes up the whole day.
Come up with a few chores you regularly do. Wash pump parts, do laundry, change diapers when you can. If you think about the 60-90 minutes your wife spends breast feeding every day this is not much comparatively.
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:24 PM Author: anal chapel queen of the night lol gooks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36566492) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:27 PM Author: Bright potus institution indian mothers are known to fellate their newborns (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36566516) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:35 PM Author: obsidian underhanded hissy fit market 1. Get a swing basset for sleeping. Both my kids slept like rocks in those swings. I have something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Moonlight-Meadow-Cradle-Swing/dp/B00NFETJLY/ref=asc_df_B00NFETJLY/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=198077878230&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9973859395400794601&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1021278&hvtargid=pla-393840262748&psc=1
2. Baby Brezza. For fucks sake buy a Baby Brezza, they are the most amazing things in the world. This will make your life incredibly easier. https://babybrezza.com/collections/formula-prep/products/formula-pro
3. A good stroller that you don't have too much trouble carrying, since you are the one carrying it.
4. A good baby monitor that has long range BUT NOT one that hooks up to your phone. If you get a baby monitor that you can access through your phone you will just sit there when you get out of the house and look at your baby.
5. Nobody ever dies of sleep deprivation. Remind yourself that when it feels like you are going die of sleep deprivation.
6. Do things with your baby that is just you and the baby. I like to take my baby to church on Sunday, just her and I, and I hold her through the whole service. That's my time with my kids.
EDIT: I never did sleep training. Fuck that. They are my kids and I don't like having them screaming and miserable. I figured out what they liked and put them to sleep when they were ready, and both my kids sleep fine. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:37 PM Author: jet insecure black woman CR your wife will be annoying. sack up and deal like your old man did |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:48 PM Author: obsidian underhanded hissy fit market Yea. My old man drank some cognac, smoked his cigars and ignored the shit out of the drama. There's no mystery in it, just don't engage.
My wife is a special lady and really gets under my skin, but do you know what? She doesn't really know that most of the time. |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:51 PM Author: jet insecure black woman sounds pretty alpha. don't be an absentee for the kids. your dick made them after all. but just remember that your wife has essentially lost her mind for the next 10 years and that divorce is an immoral jewish plot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36566695) |
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Date: August 6th, 2018 9:59 PM Author: obsidian underhanded hissy fit market cr. Take the bad parts like a man. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36566748) |
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Date: August 7th, 2018 12:35 AM Author: Doobsian corner Baby Breeza is a great purchase. This is by far the best baby product we own.
And as extra advice to go with it - DON'T listen to all these fucking try hards who are repeating all the breast feeding cult nonsense. By all means, try to breast feed the kid - especially for the first few months.
But if the kid is crying, and feeding constantly and your wife can't get sleep because the kid is feeding for hours at a time, just make him a fucking formula bottle. Half of "colic" is just poor little babies who are hungry and not getting enough milk.
To that point, just be generally relaxed. No kid wants the parent who brags about "doing baby-led weaning." If you want to make him special foods, then do so. If it turns out to be a pain in the ass, then give him baby food. Your kid is going to change constantly so trying to enforce your preferences on him is idiotic.
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Date: August 7th, 2018 12:28 PM Author: obsidian underhanded hissy fit market Baby Brezza is the most important technological advancement of the century. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36569738) |
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Date: August 7th, 2018 12:31 PM Author: hyperactive antidepressant drug whorehouse In about 5-6 years, the kid will be a lot more fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36569755) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:08 AM Author: Walnut charismatic sanctuary kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4043528&forum_id=2#36862308) |