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In-house: Board meeting cuckfest this week.
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:02 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel It really is a bit sad to see all the corporate cucks come in for board meetings. Congratulating each other on meaningless benchmarks and the "value" created in things they had no hand in other than further demoralizing their employees. Saddest is to see my bossman (dude that got passed over for a promotion) kowtowing to his overlords thinking he will ever be truly respected here.
Fuck this shit, I'm out asap. I really do not understand how the corporate "men" do it. Fuck in-house unless you are running the shit. |
Date: September 17th, 2018 9:03 AM Author: irradiated chrome stage regret play the game.tell the board members how much money you saved them with bullshit deals and litigation threats you resolved. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824143) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:06 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Why play the game, though? It's all pointless and they don't really care anyway and I don't much care what they think. In-house aint the life for me, and I really thought it might be when I joined the ranks. I've made a bad move by going in-house. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824155) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:06 AM Author: irradiated chrome stage regret just be shitlawyer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824157) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:08 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Not shitlaw, but going to go solo + side business asap. 1 year out from freedom. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824163) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:07 AM Author: Seedy Rigpig cr, OP email me and I'll sue you for like a mill, settle quick for $100K. You can brag about saving the company $900 grand (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824162) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:08 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Solid moniker synergy. I'm tempted. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824164) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:10 AM Author: irradiated chrome stage regret (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824168) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:28 AM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824214) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 10:06 AM Author: Diverse cuckoldry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824367) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:28 AM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate Describe the direct, tangible impact your department has on the companys earnings (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824215) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 9:45 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Tax savings in the hundreds of millions. I have directly negotiated, drafted and closed deals worth over a cumulative $50m to the company, and that's just me. We are one of only a few departments that actually earn money for the company. I'm not a compliance monkey. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824267) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 10:02 AM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate *high five* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824351) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:25 AM Author: crawly pungent range tank lol @ thinking drafting and negotiating contracts "Earns money" for the company (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824787) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:26 AM Author: Soul-stirring Senate Lol cr. Even if you are working on revenue contracts you are still a cost unless you are drumming up the business yourself. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824796) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 10:11 AM Author: comical new version how much do you earn? hours? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824388) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 10:58 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel I'm a bit junior. ~$150k. 9-7, one weekend a month I'll have a bit of work to do. Every quarter I'll have a few 80hr weeks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824626) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:15 AM Author: laughsome milky library sounds like you should have picked a better job (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824733) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:45 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel yep, which is why I'm trying to leave. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824916) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:49 AM Author: laughsome milky library maybe you should try looking in the mirror before sullying the good name of in-house legal work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824948) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:52 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel in-house has no name. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824974) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 1:41 PM Author: comical new version you work too hard for way too little (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825754) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 2:17 PM Author: Aphrodisiac misanthropic theater stage goyim Jesus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36826044) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 6:21 PM Author: deep locus LJL that’s biglaw lit hours. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36827885) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:08 AM Author: Concupiscible Hominid You maed it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824687) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:14 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Fucking fraudlies. Can't believe I fell for it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824722) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:28 AM Author: laughsome milky library GIVE ME BIGLAW HOURS FOR HALF THE PAY, bellowed the alpha male (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824808) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:08 PM Author: out-of-control market Lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825086) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:17 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel It’s not quite as bad as biglaw, but tradeoff wasn’t worth it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825139) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:23 AM Author: Soul-stirring Senate See you in five years! (Inhouse) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824776) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:32 AM Author: Blue Gas Station no doobs but are you in house tax? if so your salary sounds low. I thought us tax guys were supposed to cash caching! in when we went in house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824833) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:40 AM Author: crawly pungent range tank he grinds commercial agreements which is one of the lower echelons of in house work
above compliane though |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:41 AM Author: laughsome milky library *TMF slams his thinkpad shut* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824901) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:53 AM Author: Mustard nibblets a) not compliance
b) I have a Surface Pro from work |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:27 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Everyone says you do compliance, so what do you do? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825220) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:29 PM Author: laughsome milky library compliance (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825238) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:34 PM Author: Mustard nibblets I'm a tech lawyer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825279) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:50 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Gotcha. And you enjoy being in house? I thought I fucking maed it when I first started. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825394) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 5:22 PM Author: Mustard nibblets Definitely. Sure, there are downsides but anyone who has worked in corp America outside of law realizes that this is universal. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36827414) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:25 PM Author: Soul-stirring Senate Lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825197) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:49 AM Author: Concupiscible Hominid Without Commercial agreements, the company would not make money (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824947) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:53 AM Author: Mustard nibblets I don't think anyone in-house avoids commercial agreements. The question is the level/value of the agreements you're working on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824981) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:55 AM Author: crawly pungent range tank yes...commercial agremeents are how the company makes money (lawyer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824998) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:58 AM Author: Mustard nibblets The work you're thinking about doesn't happen without an agreement. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825020) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:03 PM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate It doesn’t happen without the company network that the IT department sets up either. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825056) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:05 PM Author: crawly pungent range tank cr and it doesnt happen without people, thus HR must be the most important revenue generator of the company (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825063) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:37 PM Author: Mustard nibblets I've seen a bunch of deals fall through or change dramatically because of lack of agreement on key terms in the contract. I've never seen a deal fall through because of the intranet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825288) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:21 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel So what’s better? Being a board minutes monkey? Tax? At least I still get to negotiate and close deals around the world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825164) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:21 PM Author: laughsome milky library you blew the flame right here... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825169) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:24 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Not flame at all. One of the few reasons I chose this gig. If I said what I did explicitly everyone would be crying flame, but whatever. I’ve never been anything but genuine on this boart. Why else would I be able to move to Paris and then London and still work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825189) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:23 PM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate Doesn’t outside counsel do most of the negotiating? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825181) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:26 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel No, we don’t use outside counsel for deals. We use them for compliance and some finance/M&A and tax. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825209) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:26 PM Author: laughsome milky library your "deals" are worthless then (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825212) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:29 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Ha, how do you figure? So half of a multi billion dollar company’s deals are worthless? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825230) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:30 PM Author: laughsome milky library if they were complex at all then your company would rely on experts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825245) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:49 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel "experts" lol. Luckily we understand that 7.6 ain't that complicated. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825385) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:26 PM Author: Soul-stirring Senate Being someone senior who just gets to weigh in with overall strategic advice but otherwise produces very little work product himself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825214) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:46 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel Not tax. I went in house early on b/c of the company name. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824925) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:47 AM Author: Blue Gas Station no offesnse but is it possible you f'ed up your exit from biglaw? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824931) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:49 AM Author: laughsome milky library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824946) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:51 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel It is possible, I jumped too early. I'm in a specialized industry though, so lateral options are plenty and I have a good shot at successful solo. Problem is, I live in Europe now and my company sponsors my visa. So, if I leave, it's not just moving to another office building in the same city...I have to move my family back to the US. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824961) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:52 AM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate Lol you mean the ex-wife you cheated on? You don't even have kids (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824976) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:55 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel and this puppydood - https://i.imgur.com/V16XW4k.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36824995) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:59 PM Author: Aqua frozen dilemma 180 puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825472) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 1:30 PM Author: Garnet zippy chapel ty. He's the best. Crawled up into my lap this morning as I was getting my shoes on b/c he didn't want me to go to work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825690) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:54 AM Author: Mustard nibblets "It is possible, I jumped too early"
I don't think this is really a thing. |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 11:59 AM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate If you want to actually move into some kind of management or leadership role where you’ll get your balls back and not be stuck in some paper pushing hack job for the rest of your life, you should move after you get more biglaw experience and can get an AGC job at minimum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825032) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:00 PM Author: Mustard nibblets We wouldn't hire someone into an AGC role unless they had significant in-house experience. The only exception would be literal partners at large firms, so leaving as a 3rd year vs 6th year is irrelevant.*
*Of course, all bets are off if you are "diverse" |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:07 PM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate Why do you say “we”? You make a salary, you’re not a meaningful equity owner. The company does not belong to you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825077) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:27 PM Author: Mustard nibblets Habit. That's how we write in the corp. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825221) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:29 PM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate Understood. As long as you’re clear that you’re a disposable cog at “your” company. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825236) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:34 PM Author: Mustard nibblets Unless you're an Elon Musk type that is true of everyone. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825274) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:35 PM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate Not everyone works at a megacorp, or even works period (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825281) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:37 PM Author: Mustard nibblets If you're a NEET then you have bigger problems. And most people that work in small, shitty places also have much bigger problems. I've been there and done that too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825296) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 3:01 PM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate I can't think of many worse problems than having to stare at a virtual inbox all day. At least prison inmates get to hang out outside and shoot the shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36826383) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 3:24 PM Author: gold hyperactive trailer park internal respiration (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36826578) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 4:46 PM Author: Mustard nibblets (guy who thinks prison rape actually sounds kind of fun) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36827197) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:10 PM Author: out-of-control market Sounds like you work in an awful place. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825099) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:27 PM Author: Mustard nibblets Typical megacorp these days. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825222) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 4:33 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36831030) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 2:14 PM Author: excitant bearded pit faggot firefighter There is no meaningful difference in going in house at year 4 or year 6-7. The way to move up in house is to lateral to another in house role once you’re already in house. It’s common to make jumps resulting in much better comp and title bumps once you get 2-3 years in house. Biglaw experience is mostly irrelevant to in house, no matter what vault ranking your firm is. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36826019) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 2:25 PM Author: gold hyperactive trailer park internal respiration is lateraling without a title bump generally pointless? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36826104) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 4:47 PM Author: Mustard nibblets They might pay significantly better and/or it might be a significantly more upside and/or be significantly more prestigious and/or offer more responsibility in an area you care about. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36827211) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 4:38 AM Author: Garnet zippy chapel I have found this to be the case. It also seems like there are groups of attorneys jumping ship in a loop of companies to avoid other attorneys they previously worked with.
At my shop, they hired me over promoting another attorney with more direct experience. Im going to have to jump to another company if I want a promotion. I knew this going in, but the culture of jumping ship over internal promotion fucking blows. Regardless, I'm on my 2 year and out on my own plan so hopefully I dont have to put up with this very much longer. |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 2:29 PM Author: Mustard nibblets "the culture of jumping ship over internal promotion fucking blows"
Cannot agree enough with this. It is harder for me because I have a great WFH setup that I'm going to have trouble replicating. That is why I keep staying here. |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 3:12 PM Author: Seedy Rigpig my firm had this whole presentation where they explained how much better lawyers who wisely waited 8-10 to jump ship had done, compared to those who had done it after 3-5 years.
Later that week a partner - practice head - come into my office to discuss the importance of biding your time and not leaving too early. |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 3:16 PM Author: Crystalline gaped kitchen karate Did they make a good case? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36826496) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 3:19 PM Author: Seedy Rigpig it was pretty transparent (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36826517) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 5:21 PM Author: Mustard nibblets lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36827407) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 12:30 PM Author: French Lodge Filthpig http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4076489&mc=35&forum_id=2 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825242) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 2:04 PM Author: gold hyperactive trailer park internal respiration in before TM-- oh wait (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36825919) |
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Date: September 17th, 2018 4:49 PM Author: Mustard nibblets In a luxury SUV or in-house thread? Come on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4079272&forum_id=2#36827232) |