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POLL: when is the last time you shit your pants?
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM Author: slate jewess base Defined as requiring an underwear change. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837661) |
Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM Author: slap-happy space two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night prior or the morning of? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837669) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:21 PM Author: slate jewess base Morning (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837682) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM Author: Arousing Cerise Toaster then yesterday (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837685) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM Author: slate jewess base Ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837689) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:24 PM Author: titillating parlor honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horrible food poisoning (violently ill flying home from park city, shit/puked 40+ times over three-four hours, probably lost ten pounds, they came very close to landing the plane thinking i had ebola or something).
woke up with a huge shit stain in her apartment after we thought the worst of it was over. she helped me gather up the sheets and scrub the mattress, and it was still pretty early in our relationship. wife material. brought me soup and took care of me for the rest of the day. |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:30 PM Author: transparent stirring tanning salon jfc now thats a good woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837750) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:31 PM Author: titillating parlor i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thinking to myself "WOW" i should marry this one
one of those weird things i remember pretty clearly |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM Author: judgmental indian lodge 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838237) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 6:12 AM Author: Pale Trump Supporter Reading Party (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838637) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:45 PM Author: bistre big stock car this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for business pretty regularly and have developed the habit of fasting on travel days just to avoid this sort of thing happening. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840663) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:26 PM Author: Chrome hell immigrant very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and suddenly got the runs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837727) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:33 PM Author: smoky ape office i was coaching basketball.
i had a 7-11 coffee that, in retrospect, i realize was contaminated with bacteria.
i was in a suit, because i had to arrive straight from work, with the brief stop at 7-11 for some caffeine after a long day being my only interruption.
i am drinking my coffee as i run practice. an hour in, my stomach starts to rumble. i try to fight it off. 20 minutes later, it is 10 minutes before practice ends.
i can't fight it off any more.
i tell my assistant coach to wrap up practice. i'm not feeling well. some parents were watching, arriving early to pick up their kids, which adds to the embarrassment.
problem is, it was early in the season and i didn't know where the bathrooms were in the school we were assigned gym time.
i frantically run around in search of porcelain, but the clock is ticking. fast.
after about 45 seconds, i'm in trouble.
unable to locate a restroom, i sprint outside. it's dark. 9 pm.
cars are pulling up to pick up their children, the ones i'm entrusted with coaching.
i change my sprint to an extremely fast walk and, in a flurry of improvisation, decide to go in an alley toward the back of the school.
i drop my pants to shit on the blacktop, but it's already too late. it started forcing its way out seconds before. in my new suit.
i tear off a handful of grass and do my best to wipe. i get into my car, humiliated, and have to drive home. i was living with my parents temporarily at the time, so i knew the ignominy wasn't over.
and it sure wasn't.
i had left my dress coat inside the gym.
i had to call my assistant coach and have him bring my coat to my car. i tried barely cracking the driver's side door open.
but, let's face it, the stench was overwhelming. he slid me my coat between the thin space i had allowed, gagging upon reflex when it opened.
we never talked about it again. |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:35 PM Author: Soul-stirring know-it-all pozpig haha holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837803) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:43 PM Author: slate jewess base (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837846) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:49 PM Author: Adventurous orchid parlour *claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837885) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 AM Author: smoky ape office ty friend. means a lot.
i'm actually fairly proud i wrote this off the top of my head from a memory from a few years ago. not something i had prepared or saved or anything like that. but definitely not flame. 100% accurate.
i always assume i'm going early dementia. so it feels good to contribute to a high iq medium like xo & have a poaster appreciate it. |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM Author: transparent stirring tanning salon lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837901) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:53 PM Author: Orange Vivacious Pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837906) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM Author: indecent boltzmann literal lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838240) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM Author: smoky ape office thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838264) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:21 AM Author: indecent boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838291) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 3:47 AM Author: yapping abode (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838504) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 6:43 AM Author: Bateful library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838694) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 3:51 AM Author: Internet-worthy dilemma wagecucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838506) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 6:03 AM Author: Motley magenta school would read again.
just did. still good. |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:39 PM Author: smoky ape office ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840618) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:36 PM Author: Marvelous chocolate corn cake old irish cottage Better question: when's the last time I didn't? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837806) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:47 PM Author: razzle-dazzle associate (George Brett) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837873) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM Author: Aquamarine curious property Every time I drink more than a 12 pack (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837897) |
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Date: September 18th, 2018 11:54 PM Author: Insane puppy set I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day after an international flight and I was all fucked up and tired and sickish. Luckily it was at my house/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837913) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:04 AM Author: appetizing affirmative action tattoo oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838233) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM Author: indecent boltzmann Sharting happens more often than I would have thought.
Last full on shit my pants was August 17, 2016 - I have a pic and just looked it up. Story isn't remarkable (ordinary timing miscalculation) but it could have been if I wasn't at home. Ended up on the floor, on and around the toilet, and on my underwear, shorts, and socks. The shitty (hehe) part was that my wife was irritated with the kid that day so when I was begging for some help from our guest bathroom she either didn't hear me or ignored me, so I had to wrap a towel around myself and trudge up to our bathroom with a poopy ass. |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:15 AM Author: smoky ape office 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838275) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 2:54 AM Author: bisexual locale june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so i guess it doesn't count (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838444) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 6:00 AM Author: Gold autistic stag film right now (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838618) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 6:20 AM Author: Motley magenta school anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a block or two without first consuming some water, i think i have to fart but always got fooled by the dirty turtlehead shart. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838656) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 6:49 AM Author: crimson casino international law enforcement agency 9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conference room table in midtown listening to innane blather from some partner from another group. Didn't want to be rude by jumping up mid-speech and interrupt the autist's flow, so I let a fart quietly escape.
Sadly, the turtle followed his cough and I could feel the load in my shorts. As quickly as I could at the next pause, I ran to the bathroom. Shit had permeated my shorts and exuded through my suit pants. Threw the underwear in the garbage, put shit stained pants on and ran out of office.
took cab home, showered, changed, cab back to office. gone for no more than 20 mins. rejoined CLE like it was NBD. However I refused to sit in my old chair, as I knew shit had leaked through pants onto it |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 11:24 AM Author: indecent boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36839912) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:22 PM Author: smoky ape office 1 fucking 80 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840444) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:44 PM Author: bistre big stock car impressive work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840660) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:41 PM Author: bistre big stock car three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola bar and slammed a coffee on the way to the duck pond. felt the shit coming on as we waded out to our blind but figured I could hold it back until after we were done hunting. fast forward about an hour, just as first light is about to hit and ducks are going to start flying, I can't hold it back anymore. I announce to my hunting buddies that I'm either going to have to wade out and shit in the pond (which would probably scare off the ducks) or shit in my waders. unanimous vote that I should shit in my waders. we all limited out in an hour and a half, and I had to wear shit filled neoprene waders all the way back to the hunting lodge before being able to get myself cleaned up. the waders sealed everything in. I can't begin to describe the smell when I first peeled them off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840646) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 PM Author: bisexual locale should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the turd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840807) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:05 PM Author: bistre big stock car less a turd and more a shit spray
normally this would have been the move, but the timing was fucked. right at first light as flyers are starting to come in. the other 5 guys would have been pissed if I spooked the ducks. |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 10:56 PM Author: bisexual locale should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed shit into the air so it would simply evaporate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845731) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 11:01 PM Author: slate jewess base I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for a bro to shit his pants. It would be bro malpractice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845778) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:42 PM Author: shimmering sinister gay wizard month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simultaneously (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840649) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:46 PM Author: Shivering chest-beating principal's office Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840676) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:54 PM Author: hateful aromatic university had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. had a very pathetic reaction to the pain meds and shit myself three times one night. my wife helped me throughout the night with such empathy that i didn't even feel embarrassed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36841171) |
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Date: September 19th, 2018 10:55 PM Author: bisexual locale that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a constipating effect. imodium, for instance, is an opioid agonist. did you get antibiotics as part of the surgery? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845715) |