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POLL: when is the last time you shit your pants?

Defined as requiring an underwear change.
impressive french chef stead
  09/18/18
two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night p...
electric hell macaca
  09/18/18
Morning
impressive french chef stead
  09/18/18
then yesterday
Sable hairraiser pistol prole
  09/18/18
Ty
impressive french chef stead
  09/18/18
honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horr...
Trip autistic market toaster
  09/18/18
jfc now thats a good woman
Vivacious internet-worthy faggotry
  09/18/18
i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thin...
Trip autistic market toaster
  09/18/18
180
Slimy whorehouse doctorate
  09/19/18
...
Gay magical base pocket flask
  09/19/18
this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for busines...
razzle-dazzle lay
  09/19/18
very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and s...
Spectacular dull trailer park codepig
  09/18/18
i was coaching basketball. i had a 7-11 coffee that, in r...
Exhilarant rehab depressive
  09/18/18
haha holy shit
Clear elastic band really tough guy
  09/18/18
...
impressive french chef stead
  09/18/18
*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO
excitant locus
  09/18/18
ty friend. means a lot. i'm actually fairly proud i wrote...
Exhilarant rehab depressive
  09/19/18
lmao
Vivacious internet-worthy faggotry
  09/18/18
...
Crawly swollen corner laser beams
  09/18/18
literal lol
dead vibrant background story
  09/19/18
thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.
Exhilarant rehab depressive
  09/19/18
...
dead vibrant background story
  09/19/18
...
amethyst filthpig temple
  09/19/18
...
dashing rose school cafeteria
  09/19/18
...
Wonderful ruddy bawdyhouse internal respiration
  09/19/18
would read again. just did. still good.
Sinister talented hall
  09/19/18
ty
Exhilarant rehab depressive
  09/19/18
Better question: when's the last time I didn't?
Embarrassed to the bone aphrodisiac faggot firefighter resort
  09/18/18
(George Brett)
slap-happy cerebral parlor
  09/18/18
Every time I drink more than a 12 pack
Supple Dysfunction
  09/18/18
I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day af...
charismatic stag film jewess
  09/18/18
oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart
Gold medicated sneaky criminal
  09/19/18
Sharting happens more often than I would have thought. La...
dead vibrant background story
  09/19/18
180
Exhilarant rehab depressive
  09/19/18
june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so ...
Curious scarlet theater mother
  09/19/18
right now
Primrose demanding point useless brakes
  09/19/18
anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a ...
Sinister talented hall
  09/19/18
9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conferenc...
Hairless Vermilion Senate
  09/19/18
...
dead vibrant background story
  09/19/18
1 fucking 80
Exhilarant rehab depressive
  09/19/18
impressive work.
razzle-dazzle lay
  09/19/18
three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola...
razzle-dazzle lay
  09/19/18
should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the ...
Curious scarlet theater mother
  09/19/18
less a turd and more a shit spray normally this would hav...
razzle-dazzle lay
  09/19/18
should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed sh...
Curious scarlet theater mother
  09/19/18
I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for...
impressive french chef stead
  09/19/18
month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simul...
Comical New Version
  09/19/18
Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!
Diverse snowy trust fund orchestra pit
  09/19/18
had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. h...
exciting kitty national security agency
  09/19/18
that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a cons...
Curious scarlet theater mother
  09/19/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: impressive french chef stead

Defined as requiring an underwear change.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837661)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: electric hell macaca

two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night prior or the morning of?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837669)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:21 PM
Author: impressive french chef stead

Morning

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837682)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: Sable hairraiser pistol prole

then yesterday

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837685)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: impressive french chef stead

Ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837689)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:24 PM
Author: Trip autistic market toaster

honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horrible food poisoning (violently ill flying home from park city, shit/puked 40+ times over three-four hours, probably lost ten pounds, they came very close to landing the plane thinking i had ebola or something).

woke up with a huge shit stain in her apartment after we thought the worst of it was over. she helped me gather up the sheets and scrub the mattress, and it was still pretty early in our relationship. wife material. brought me soup and took care of me for the rest of the day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837703)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:30 PM
Author: Vivacious internet-worthy faggotry

jfc now thats a good woman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837750)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:31 PM
Author: Trip autistic market toaster

i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thinking to myself "WOW" i should marry this one

one of those weird things i remember pretty clearly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837763)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: Slimy whorehouse doctorate

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838237)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:12 AM
Author: Gay magical base pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838637)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle lay

this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for business pretty regularly and have developed the habit of fasting on travel days just to avoid this sort of thing happening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840663)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:26 PM
Author: Spectacular dull trailer park codepig

very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and suddenly got the runs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837727)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:33 PM
Author: Exhilarant rehab depressive

i was coaching basketball.

i had a 7-11 coffee that, in retrospect, i realize was contaminated with bacteria.

i was in a suit, because i had to arrive straight from work, with the brief stop at 7-11 for some caffeine after a long day being my only interruption.

i am drinking my coffee as i run practice. an hour in, my stomach starts to rumble. i try to fight it off. 20 minutes later, it is 10 minutes before practice ends.

i can't fight it off any more.

i tell my assistant coach to wrap up practice. i'm not feeling well. some parents were watching, arriving early to pick up their kids, which adds to the embarrassment.

problem is, it was early in the season and i didn't know where the bathrooms were in the school we were assigned gym time.

i frantically run around in search of porcelain, but the clock is ticking. fast.

after about 45 seconds, i'm in trouble.

unable to locate a restroom, i sprint outside. it's dark. 9 pm.

cars are pulling up to pick up their children, the ones i'm entrusted with coaching.

i change my sprint to an extremely fast walk and, in a flurry of improvisation, decide to go in an alley toward the back of the school.

i drop my pants to shit on the blacktop, but it's already too late. it started forcing its way out seconds before. in my new suit.

i tear off a handful of grass and do my best to wipe. i get into my car, humiliated, and have to drive home. i was living with my parents temporarily at the time, so i knew the ignominy wasn't over.

and it sure wasn't.

i had left my dress coat inside the gym.

i had to call my assistant coach and have him bring my coat to my car. i tried barely cracking the driver's side door open.

but, let's face it, the stench was overwhelming. he slid me my coat between the thin space i had allowed, gagging upon reflex when it opened.

we never talked about it again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837787)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:35 PM
Author: Clear elastic band really tough guy

haha holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837803)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:43 PM
Author: impressive french chef stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837846)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:49 PM
Author: excitant locus

*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837885)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 AM
Author: Exhilarant rehab depressive

ty friend. means a lot.

i'm actually fairly proud i wrote this off the top of my head from a memory from a few years ago. not something i had prepared or saved or anything like that. but definitely not flame. 100% accurate.

i always assume i'm going early dementia. so it feels good to contribute to a high iq medium like xo & have a poaster appreciate it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838226)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: Vivacious internet-worthy faggotry

lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837901)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:53 PM
Author: Crawly swollen corner laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837906)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: dead vibrant background story

literal lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838240)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: Exhilarant rehab depressive

thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838264)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:21 AM
Author: dead vibrant background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838291)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:47 AM
Author: amethyst filthpig temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838504)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:43 AM
Author: dashing rose school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838694)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:51 AM
Author: Wonderful ruddy bawdyhouse internal respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838506)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:03 AM
Author: Sinister talented hall

would read again.

just did. still good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838621)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: Exhilarant rehab depressive

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:36 PM
Author: Embarrassed to the bone aphrodisiac faggot firefighter resort

Better question: when's the last time I didn't?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837806)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:47 PM
Author: slap-happy cerebral parlor

(George Brett)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837873)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: Supple Dysfunction

Every time I drink more than a 12 pack

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837897)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:54 PM
Author: charismatic stag film jewess

I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day after an international flight and I was all fucked up and tired and sickish. Luckily it was at my house/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837913)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:04 AM
Author: Gold medicated sneaky criminal

oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838233)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: dead vibrant background story

Sharting happens more often than I would have thought.

Last full on shit my pants was August 17, 2016 - I have a pic and just looked it up. Story isn't remarkable (ordinary timing miscalculation) but it could have been if I wasn't at home. Ended up on the floor, on and around the toilet, and on my underwear, shorts, and socks. The shitty (hehe) part was that my wife was irritated with the kid that day so when I was begging for some help from our guest bathroom she either didn't hear me or ignored me, so I had to wrap a towel around myself and trudge up to our bathroom with a poopy ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838267)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:15 AM
Author: Exhilarant rehab depressive

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838275)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 2:54 AM
Author: Curious scarlet theater mother

june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so i guess it doesn't count

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:00 AM
Author: Primrose demanding point useless brakes

right now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:20 AM
Author: Sinister talented hall

anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a block or two without first consuming some water, i think i have to fart but always got fooled by the dirty turtlehead shart.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838656)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:49 AM
Author: Hairless Vermilion Senate

9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conference room table in midtown listening to innane blather from some partner from another group. Didn't want to be rude by jumping up mid-speech and interrupt the autist's flow, so I let a fart quietly escape.

Sadly, the turtle followed his cough and I could feel the load in my shorts. As quickly as I could at the next pause, I ran to the bathroom. Shit had permeated my shorts and exuded through my suit pants. Threw the underwear in the garbage, put shit stained pants on and ran out of office.

took cab home, showered, changed, cab back to office. gone for no more than 20 mins. rejoined CLE like it was NBD. However I refused to sit in my old chair, as I knew shit had leaked through pants onto it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838706)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:24 AM
Author: dead vibrant background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36839912)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:22 PM
Author: Exhilarant rehab depressive

1 fucking 80

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:44 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle lay

impressive work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840660)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:41 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle lay

three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola bar and slammed a coffee on the way to the duck pond. felt the shit coming on as we waded out to our blind but figured I could hold it back until after we were done hunting. fast forward about an hour, just as first light is about to hit and ducks are going to start flying, I can't hold it back anymore. I announce to my hunting buddies that I'm either going to have to wade out and shit in the pond (which would probably scare off the ducks) or shit in my waders. unanimous vote that I should shit in my waders. we all limited out in an hour and a half, and I had to wear shit filled neoprene waders all the way back to the hunting lodge before being able to get myself cleaned up. the waders sealed everything in. I can't begin to describe the smell when I first peeled them off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840646)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 PM
Author: Curious scarlet theater mother

should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the turd

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840807)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:05 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle lay

less a turd and more a shit spray

normally this would have been the move, but the timing was fucked. right at first light as flyers are starting to come in. the other 5 guys would have been pissed if I spooked the ducks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840821)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:56 PM
Author: Curious scarlet theater mother

should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed shit into the air so it would simply evaporate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845731)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:01 PM
Author: impressive french chef stead

I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for a bro to shit his pants. It would be bro malpractice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845778)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:42 PM
Author: Comical New Version

month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simultaneously

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840649)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:46 PM
Author: Diverse snowy trust fund orchestra pit

Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840676)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:54 PM
Author: exciting kitty national security agency

had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. had a very pathetic reaction to the pain meds and shit myself three times one night. my wife helped me throughout the night with such empathy that i didn't even feel embarrassed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36841171)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:55 PM
Author: Curious scarlet theater mother

that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a constipating effect. imodium, for instance, is an opioid agonist. did you get antibiotics as part of the surgery?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845715)