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Rate this lib male's story (date fucked a dude minutes before he picked her up)

https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9fp53u...
ruddy marvelous principal's office nibblets
  09/22/18
And here's the TWO WEEK UPDATE where he realizes he's been a...
ruddy marvelous principal's office nibblets
  09/22/18
That’s the most pathetic thing I have read all month
Big location roast beef
  09/22/18
...
Cracking senate
  09/22/18
...
Flickering Laughsome Pistol
  09/22/18
We need to found a new country
slippery silver legend space
  09/22/18
titcr Founders would lol at us and be like "and you pu...
Exciting crimson rehab
  09/22/18
...
self-centered halford marketing idea
  09/22/18
Israelis are paid to write this shit
Fragrant Travel Guidebook
  09/22/18
Oh yeah, because a sexually free woman is a slut who doesn’t...
slippery silver legend space
  09/22/18
reeled me in again johnsy
turquoise bonkers office
  09/22/18
...
self-centered halford marketing idea
  09/22/18
Here's his post on TOXIC MASCULINITY from a few months ago w...
ruddy marvelous principal's office nibblets
  09/22/18
“The other day after some especially Trump-esque talk from t...
Big location roast beef
  09/22/18
I have never read anything like this. It cant be flame becau...
Mewling menage therapy
  09/22/18
lol he going to be raising a mulatto kid open office | op...
Very tactful reading party personal credit line
  09/22/18
...
self-centered halford marketing idea
  09/22/18
...
Magenta seedy deer antler
  09/22/18
...
Boyish orange pit place of business
  09/22/18
...
saffron jew chad
  09/22/18
incredibly intellectual. im jealous.
Vigorous primrose stag film turdskin
  09/22/18
“She is pregnant from a past relationship. We have decided, ...
pearl charismatic set really tough guy
  09/22/18
I'm feeling very nuanced flame on this one. Who really talks...
Curious apoplectic cuckoldry crotch
  09/22/18
tbf, he really does have issues.
Garnet Stirring Partner
  09/22/18
...
self-centered halford marketing idea
  09/22/18
This is 100% what life is like for Obeezy. Fucking pathetic ...
Maize French Chef International Law Enforcement Agency
  09/22/18
...
Maize French Chef International Law Enforcement Agency
  09/22/18
Obeezy couldn't even get a date with this broad
Underhanded bateful site telephone
  09/22/18
I would kill myself before becoming that guy
Glittery elite boiling water temple
  09/22/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 3:58 PM
Author: ruddy marvelous principal's office nibblets

https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9fp53u/i_34m_recently_found_out_that_my_so_32f_had_sex/

I have been in a relationship with a woman for a few months. Before I get into details, I'm sure someone is going to go through my post history after reading this and find my post from before so I'll point out a couple of things:

I met her at the gym I frequent, where she works the front counter.

She is pregnant from a past relationship. We have decided, as a couple, that we will cross that bridge when we get there.

So, we're generally on pretty good terms, and the majority of issues that rise up are caused by my own insecurities. I know I have confidence issues, but I'm working through them and she has been nothing short of incredible.

But, about a week ago, I learned that on the evening of our first date, she had been physical with another man before I took her out. I'm talking about immediately before I took her out, as in she had just finished and had to forego the shower afterwards because she had no time. It wasn't her ex and the father of her child, but a one night stand (one afternoon stand?) sort of situation.

I learned about this through a friend, and when he started talking about the details, everything clicked into place. I have since asked her, and while she half-apologized ("oh yeah sorry about that"), she seems to be strongly under the impression that she did nothing wrong because we weren't dating yet.

Technically, she's right, but when I asked her about why she was so sweaty and red after she got into my car, she told me that she had just spent some time on the treadmill (which was odd to me because I picked her up at home, where I later noticed there was no treadmill). So, she lied to me, but I understand why.

I'm really torn on how I feel about this. Of course it makes me sad because for the first month and a half of our relationship she didn't want to have sex (she was "taking it slow"), which I suppose I understand. She was looking at me as a long-term partner and didn't want to immediately get physical, which is of course her right, and I should not feel entitled to her body. On the other hand, it makes me feel uncomfortable that she was literally in the arms of another guy a few minutes before I showed her what we both agreed was an amazing first date.

I tried to bring the issue up again, but she told me to stop talking about it. Is there anything I can do about this?

tl;dr: my S/O had just had sex with another man immediately before our first date, and while she's never cheated, I feel incredibly uncomfortable about it. She's brushed it off as not a big deal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864189)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 3:59 PM
Author: ruddy marvelous principal's office nibblets

And here's the TWO WEEK UPDATE where he realizes he's been a horrible bigot

https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9i0cuc/update_i_34m_recently_found_out_that_my_so_32f/

So, it has been about two weeks since I learned about what happened before our first date. She and another man had sex immediately before I picked her up, and something about it irked me.

While the last post was full of people just in it to mock me, a few users did post very helpful advice. Another user sent me some private messages telling me how I can get over the issue.

One thing that really resounded true with me was that I was strongly thinking about how I felt about the situation, but not about how she felt. There wasn't exactly a wedding ring on her finger when she had sex with the other man. At no point in time do I have claim over her body and her choices, especially not when we weren't even in a committed relationship yet.

I talked with her about the issue and how she felt about it, and at first she was hesitant, but eventually she opened up and told me that she was looking for some sort of connection. To be honest I felt really sad that she hadn't given me a chance to fill that role for her (not even on a physical but emotional level) before calling some guy from Tinder over, but I feel like I understand her better now. More than anything, I realized the pressing need for me to come to terms with my own issues, and the social conditioning I've had that made me borderline shame her for having sex. If she felt good, and if he felt good about the encounter, calling myself a victim for it is ridiculous and entitled.

Right now I'm looking through therapists in my area to see if I can't take a more proactive approach to my personal issues.

Thank you all for the helpful advice, even those of you who laughed at me. For anyone who cares, I'm working through it and things are looking up!

tl;dr: I've decided to work on myself instead of concentrating so much on my S/O's behavior before we were even committed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864195)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:02 PM
Author: Big location roast beef

That’s the most pathetic thing I have read all month

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864210)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 10:33 PM
Author: Cracking senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866469)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:04 PM
Author: Flickering Laughsome Pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864220)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:04 PM
Author: slippery silver legend space

We need to found a new country

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864221)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Exciting crimson rehab

titcr

Founders would lol at us and be like "and you put up with all this ridiculous bullshit....why, exactly?"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866169)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:14 PM
Author: self-centered halford marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864262)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:01 PM
Author: Fragrant Travel Guidebook

Israelis are paid to write this shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864208)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:03 PM
Author: slippery silver legend space

Oh yeah, because a sexually free woman is a slut who doesn’t deserve love because she didn’t save her vagina JUST FOR YOU.

permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive gold

JFC CUCK NATION

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864219)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:04 PM
Author: turquoise bonkers office

reeled me in again johnsy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864222)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:11 PM
Author: self-centered halford marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864253)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:14 PM
Author: ruddy marvelous principal's office nibblets

Here's his post on TOXIC MASCULINITY from a few months ago where he also talks about gym counter girl.

https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/96vh78/guy_talk_toxic_masculinity_callouts_and/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864263)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:20 PM
Author: Big location roast beef

“The other day after some especially Trump-esque talk from them, I finally had my breaking point”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864280)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 10:19 PM
Author: Mewling menage therapy

I have never read anything like this. It cant be flame because the comments amplify what he says even further

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866383)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:17 PM
Author: Very tactful reading party personal credit line

lol he going to be raising a mulatto kid

open office | open marriage | open borders

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864275)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 4:19 PM
Author: self-centered halford marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36864278)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:24 PM
Author: Magenta seedy deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866099)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:25 PM
Author: Boyish orange pit place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866108)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: saffron jew chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866138)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Vigorous primrose stag film turdskin

incredibly intellectual. im jealous.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866159)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:37 PM
Author: pearl charismatic set really tough guy

“She is pregnant from a past relationship. We have decided, as a couple, that we will cross that bridge when we get there.”

Lol, you’re on the fucking bridge right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866163)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:39 PM
Author: Curious apoplectic cuckoldry crotch

I'm feeling very nuanced flame on this one. Who really talks this way?

"I've been told that the best thing a male ally can do when he witnesses "locker room talk" is to call the other guys out, and I thought I was respectful when I did so. I realize now that expecting her to embrace me like her savior was also a silly expectation to have...

It's hard to not be torn between what we feel we should do and what is really best for the situation. I hope this post is appropriate and inspires decent discussion."

It's too perfect--a woman pregnant with another man's child, who has random sex with guys from Tinder, dates him and withholds sex for a month and a half, he's afraid to say things in public or even post things on Reddit that are "inappropriate", and now he's contacting therapists for getting over his own "issues"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866172)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 10:32 PM
Author: Garnet Stirring Partner

tbf, he really does have issues.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866456)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 9:58 PM
Author: self-centered halford marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866259)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 10:09 PM
Author: Maize French Chef International Law Enforcement Agency

This is 100% what life is like for Obeezy. Fucking pathetic (just like Obeezy).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866323)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 10:16 PM
Author: Maize French Chef International Law Enforcement Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866372)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 10:34 PM
Author: Underhanded bateful site telephone

Obeezy couldn't even get a date with this broad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866477)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 22nd, 2018 10:37 PM
Author: Glittery elite boiling water temple

I would kill myself before becoming that guy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4084096&forum_id=2#36866494)