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mid-30s divorced bro here - which room which I take?
Poast new message in this thread
Date: November 15th, 2018 9:32 AM Author: irradiated corner Need to find some furnished housing short term in MFH. Here are the options:
1) room in big modern loft apt with 2 other late 20s guys working finance ($3000)
2) room in smaller but moderately nice apt with 1 other early 20s NYU student girl ($1800)
Which option should I take and why? |
Date: November 15th, 2018 9:34 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Do you have kids? Why is it 3000 with two roommates? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237576) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:35 AM Author: irradiated corner one young kid.
b/c it's in an expensive neighborhood and it's a really nice loft. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:37 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Custody expectations?
LJL at roommates wanting a kid at the apartment |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:38 AM Author: irradiated corner wife is keeping custody - too young for me to share custody. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237600) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:40 AM Author: exciting carnelian range No such thing. Don't allow this. Youll get raped in CS. Are you a lawyer?
Do you plan on being in child's life? |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:44 AM Author: irradiated corner can't CS be settled as part of the overall settlement? we're planning to get a amicable settlement. she wants full custody, and won't push for a lot of support (probably 2-3k)
plan to visit once every week or two. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:46 AM Author: exciting carnelian range L.J.L.
Never grant full custody, never move out. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:48 AM Author: irradiated corner would appreciate some legal education here bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237663) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:49 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Your income and her income? CS is income and percentage of custody based. Not negotiable. It's a strict formula (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237673) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:53 AM Author: irradiated corner rn, 180k, but might be rising sharply next year to 400k fingers crossed.
her income is 200k annualized, but rn she's only working one day a week. she's starting her own business (medical practice) though, so it might be shitty for a bit while she gets it set up.
Parties can't waive child support? That doesn't seem right. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:58 AM Author: exciting carnelian range You can't waive CS. Get a shit lawyer now.
She's bamboozling you. If she has 100% you'll be paying until child is 18. You will have no rights and is difficult to get 50/50 afterwards. Also, Google imputed income. If you lose job, you're expected to earn x$ forever. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:03 AM Author: Coral locale If you think that parents can waive child support, you need to get a lawyer.
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:57 AM Author: irradiated corner What if the other parent and I have already worked out a plan for child support in our separation agreement? Can we use that instead of the guidelines?
Yes. You both can waive the basic child support obligations as long as the waiver is in writing, states what the basic child support obligation would have been, and states the reasons why your agreement should be adopted instead. Your agreement must also recite that you have been advised of Domestic Relations Law § 240 (1-b) and Family Court Act § 413(1)(b) and that the basic child support obligation would presumptively result in the correct amount of child support to be awarded. The reason for this is to assure that the parties are aware of their rights and obligations under the law and knowingly waive such rights. This provision may not be waived by either party or counsel. In other words, both parents must agree to go around the child support guidelines. And even when there’s an agreement, it’s not valid until approved by the court.
https://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/nyfaq01 |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:00 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Any NY shitlawyers care to opine? I have a feeling the courts don't approve many of these waivers. Definitely not in my JDX. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237727) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:02 AM Author: irradiated corner even if the judge doesn't approve of this waive, i don't think the judge would be able to approve the rest of the settlement and just strike out the waiver - i.e. if the judge strikes down the waiver, we can go back and renegotiate the custody. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237730) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:07 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Please see an attorney before agreeing to this. I guarantee your ex has.
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:09 AM Author: irradiated corner she's in a pretty prestigious medical specialty - if her practice is successful, can I apply to the court to reassess the child support? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237766) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:20 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Dude. YFWGI
Do not trust this woman for a second. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:22 AM Author: irradiated corner I have no idea why you think this is flame. b/c I'm asking a stupid question? I'm utterly ignorant about divorce law. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237844) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:24 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Rule one: never trust a woman (especially during divorce) Rule two: a good divorce attorney is worth the cost in the long run. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:26 AM Author: honey-headed bossy sandwich How much do divorce attorneys make in Alaska (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237877) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:31 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Depends on the attorney. My surgeon buddy has already paid over a million dollars in legal fees for his divorce. I think I spent 20 total, with a lot of bullshit proceedings and filings (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237901) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 1:58 PM Author: Sooty stirring partner JFC, that's probably a high % of his net worth..how bad is your surgeon buddy's divorce? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37239221) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:10 AM Author: marvelous mewling home circlehead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237769) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:42 AM Author: Glittery iridescent orchestra pit Kill yourself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237635) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:35 AM Author: Violent Turdskin Voyeur i dont understand why these are your choices.
confronted with this i would killself.
xoxohth |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:36 AM Author: irradiated corner these are the most attractive options in MFH rn, b/c I need housing ASAP. I'll look for better options after I find a place to sleep and put my stuff. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237588) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:37 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Go cheap at first. You'll need every penny soon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237596) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:36 AM Author: light bateful casino 2. Girl can be wheedled into providing free child care. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237585) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:38 AM Author: spectacular hissy fit trailer park close to wife and kid, hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237607) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:39 AM Author: irradiated corner both are pretty close. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237610) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:40 AM Author: spectacular hissy fit trailer park NYU girl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237616) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:42 AM Author: irradiated corner ok that's sensible. i was leaning toward the loft b/c my social life with two other dudes with similar interest would be a lot better. living with an early 20s girl is extremely awkward. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237629) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:43 AM Author: spectacular hissy fit trailer park exactly, you need some awkardness now (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237639) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:40 AM Author: Razzmatazz alpha parlor leave nyc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237615) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:40 AM Author: irradiated corner only other options with job is SF or DC. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237620) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:42 AM Author: Razzmatazz alpha parlor ARE country just do librarian. hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237628) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:58 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Take your own advice friendo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238044) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:07 AM Author: Razzmatazz alpha parlor fuck pwned (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238087) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:28 AM Author: motley copper nowag *intro bars to going Japanese crescendo* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238223) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:31 AM Author: glassy dingle berry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238253) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:41 AM Author: Amber Histrionic Shrine i would take 2 and bang the chick. i also seem to make bad major life decisions. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237627) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:47 AM Author: exciting carnelian range Same. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237659) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:27 AM Author: Razzle Tank Church cr is to never make any major life decisions (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238213) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:44 AM Author: Avocado infuriating faggot firefighter $3000/month on anything other than a mortgage is foolish. Basically like flushing money down the toilet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237646) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:45 AM Author: gold stag film My subtle-flame radar detector is going off, but do you have relatives in the area you can stay with instead? Might be easier on the kid than some random strangers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237647) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:46 AM Author: irradiated corner i don't plan on taking the kid to some random room in apt. I'll get my own place later.
And no I don't. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:45 AM Author: pearly resort elastic band NYU girl so you can live blog ex wife's reaction to you leaving her to live with 20 yo female (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237649) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:47 AM Author: spectacular hissy fit trailer park this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237657) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:24 AM Author: Pink heady haunted graveyard party of the first part She's gonna "react" by going out and fucking Chad while op listens to his roommate also fuck Chad in his own apartment (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237858) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:46 AM Author: Black tripping windowlicker Why are you getting divorced? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237653) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:47 AM Author: irradiated corner wife is has already been pretty abusive. this time she called 911 to kick me out of the house by telling the operator I was being violent (reverse was true).
too scary for me to go back. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:47 AM Author: Black tripping windowlicker And you are letting her have sole custody? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237662) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:48 AM Author: irradiated corner she's only abusive to me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237667) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:48 AM Author: spectacular hissy fit trailer park think she'll hurt baby? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237664) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:49 AM Author: irradiated corner no. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237670) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:51 AM Author: exciting carnelian range I had same experience. Literally. Spent night in jail. Case dismissed after judge realized I was the person physically struck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237678) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:52 AM Author: translucent aromatic travel guidebook kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237683) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 9:59 AM Author: irradiated corner i got her to hang up the call by telling her i was leaving, then I called back 911 and told them what really happened and the police came to take our statements. i think she was too scared to lie in person to the officers in her statement, so at least I have it on record in my statement that she tried to make a false accusation of violence against me.
lol at #believeallwomen |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:00 AM Author: spectacular hissy fit trailer park jfc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237722) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:13 AM Author: Sepia Hairless Wrinkle Which part of all of this makes you think your wife will be reasonable in the divorce?
Don't trust a single word she says and get the best lawyer you can afford
THIS IS LEGAL ADVICE |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:19 AM Author: exciting carnelian range This (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237821) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:23 AM Author: irradiated corner b/c i can use the documented domestic abuse evidence to push for full custody if she doesn't play ball? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237851) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:37 AM Author: sienna jew abode Unless she beat the kid, you'll still lose. She'll testify that you emotionally abused her and physically abused her but that she didn't report it out of fear. She'll cop custody and alimony and you'll be imputed at an income for life unless you start making more (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237936) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:39 AM Author: exciting carnelian range ... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237945) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:39 AM Author: irradiated corner dude that's just stupid.
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:41 AM Author: exciting carnelian range (Guy who hasn't gone through a divorce before)
Family Court is ruthless towards men. Is getting better, but it's still awful |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:41 AM Author: sienna jew abode Flame harder (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237964) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 2:16 PM Author: drab school macaca JFC - get an attorney. Divorce practices don't just exist to deal with elite couples figuring out how to sort through their complex assets and finances. Given both your professions + kids there are way too many things that need to be addressed that the Legalzoom divorce packet you downloaded for $50 doesn't cover. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37239318) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:09 AM Author: idiotic chest-beating associate Don’t move out. Never move out. Don’t agree to anything less than 50/50 custody. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237765) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:35 AM Author: sienna jew abode She'll still pwn him because her evidence will be accepted that she's the primary caregiver and she will also cop alimony since she's only working 1 day a week. He's fucked for life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37237924) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:49 AM Author: motley copper nowag Not sure if this is flame but I have a duty to post this in case it’s not as other xo bros (e.g., dirte and bloodacre) during the beginning of my divorce, which raised similar custody issues as yours.
You are making bad decisions and fucking yourself in the long run. Espcecislly with regard to custody and alimony. As things currently stand, at least in California, your wife will owe you alimony. But you seem to be willing to negotiating against your interest. You will never, ever see your child if you give up custody now. Your wife is about to make your life as hard as she possibly can until you break or her go away. Get a lawyer this afternoon |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:56 AM Author: irradiated corner >You will never, ever see your child if you give up custody now.
I don't understand this. If we agree on a visitation schedule and file that as part of the settlement, why would she be able to violate that later? |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 10:58 AM Author: sienna jew abode Ljl enjoy your kid telling you he doesn't feel comfortable with you and doesn't want to see you after she brainwashing him to hate you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238043) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:07 AM Author: exciting carnelian range See how effective cops enforce visitation agreements, particularly against women.
You are really clueless to the realities of custodial issues. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:25 AM Author: motley copper nowag although this is flame, how about you stop asking clueless questions on xo and consult an attorney? even if flame, does it seem like good flame to have the subject of your flame be so stupid that he can't understand why giving up custody of a child (i.e., relinquishing all parental rights) could ultimately work against him? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238198) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:29 AM Author: irradiated corner a lot of what is being said here just seems to be generic pessimism and assumptions which may not apply to different states / cases.
what you just said doesn't even make sense. visitation rights are parental rights, so no i wouldn't be giving up all parental rights, by definition. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 12:06 PM Author: exciting carnelian range Do you think it's right that you're allowed "visitation" with your own child? The very notion of the word "visitation" should repulse you.
You should really check out the "Father's Rights" movement.
Parental alienation is real and most courts are OK with it. If you are fine with "visitation," you are not really a father.
My ex did every shady thing imaginable to try and get full custody. Luckily, I had a good attorney, that was willing to fight the system. Also, I was more than willing to accept my responsibility to raise my children. It is not easy, but I wouldn't change it for the world.
Also, I have not spoken to my ex-wife in over two years. Will never speak to her again. We communicate only via email and text. I want every communication to be documented in case of future legal issues. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 12:19 PM Author: motley copper nowag *maintains the right to "visit" own child*
*gives up all other rights*
*wants to ever do anything ever other than see child at (extremely limited) times agreed to with psycho ex wife (e.g., enroll the kid in a specific school, make decisions about the kid's medical care, etc.)*
*can't because gave up all parental rights other than the "right" to "visit" own child* |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 11:28 AM Author: Trip cuckold This is flame NY-based Thunder Collins (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238221) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 12:07 PM Author: exciting carnelian range I thought it was you at first. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238474) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 12:10 PM Author: concupiscible wild public bath rigpig Third option: well furnished but small pine box located approx. 6 feet underground. Included in price is a big move in party that all your friends and family will be invited to. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37238501) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 2:04 PM Author: Sooty stirring partner Is your wife by chance a breast surgeon? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4133718&forum_id=2#37239257) |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 2:07 PM Author: Curious Beta Whorehouse 3k with roommates jfc
take the college student girl obviously. is she sexy? that could be fun. |