Wife(F33) and I (M34) decided to try for kids last year. Found out I'm completely infertile without surgery. 5 months later she got pregnant.

submitted 3 days ago * by Throwawaymyspermazoa2

I literally do not know what to do. This is long, TL;DR at bottom.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, together for 6. She's always been one of the most amazing people I've ever met. No huge fights, love languages match up, and we're both fairly active people which has been why we've always had a really strong relationship for so long. That's why this is so difficult for me.

We've both been doing pretty well in our careers the last few years. She's in marketing and I work independently as an IT consultant, allowing me to set my own hours and be pretty flexible. We decided last year that we wanted to start a family, her most likely keeping her job full time and me scaling back to part time. We've both been anxious but pretty excited to have our own kids.

Long story short, I was diagnosed with azoospermia last December. Blockage in the pipes just meant I wasn't actually producing any sperm when ejaculating. It's curable with surgery thankfully, and we finally got it scheduled this July. She's got a high sex drive as do I, so we've still been very sexually active, but there should've been no way I could have gotten her pregnant.

She missed her period this week. I couldn't imagine that she might actually be pregnant, right? The babies are bottled in until they get the blockage out. She took three tests though, and sure enough they're all positive.

At first I was stunned, because this shouldn't be possible. She's never been unfaithful to me in the past and never given me a reason not to trust her. I'm not the jealous type, but I'm literally stuck. The doctors said this couldn't happen. And I can't believe my wife would jeopardize the future we've been so excited for over some fling when we seem to have such a great emotional and physical connection.

My wife's been ecstatic. She's given no indication of any guilt or worry that she may have cheated. She was so excited when she first found out that I didn't express my worries then. But she left for work and now I feel completely torn. What if she did cheat?

Looking back now there's a few tiny things that didn't seem to be an issue but now have me wracking my brain for clues. Her job often has her taking clients out for dinner and it's not uncommon for her to get back later in the evening. She definitely had a busy last few months, but that's not uncommon for her job. She always wears one of the same two perfumes, but she came back one night smelling completely different. I remember seeing a text message on her lock screen of just a winky face, a different time, but assumed it was one of her girlfriends.

Fuck man I don't know what to do. I set up an appointment on Monday to see if there's any chance it could be mine. If it is mine and I accuse her of cheating I feel like the world's biggest asshole. But she's coming home in a few hours and I don't know what I'm going to say to her, I can't stop thinking of these small things that may have been her cheating and I just didn't see it.

Do I wait until the doctor appointment Monday before talking to her, or do bring up these insecurities while she's celebrating the pregnancy? I'm worried I won't be able to hide what's going on.

TL;DR: Wife and I tried having a baby. My balls are blocked, surgery is in July. Wife got pregnant anyways. It seems ridiculous to think she cheated, but I was told I shouldn't be able to be fertile until the surgery. Wife is celebrating, I can't stop thinking about small occurrences and what if she's cheating. Seeing Doctor on Monday to see if it could be mine. Want to wait until Monday, but don't think I can hide it. What do I tell her?

Edit: I should add I've been cheated on before. Our relationship has been pretty healthy, but that old fear is creeping back in now. I'm not sure how to just wait until the appointment.

Edit I really hope yall are right that some freak sperm made it past. My wife's coming home though in an hour and I have to decide if I'm going to put on a happy face until Monday or not.

Edit She texted saying she's going be home late

This is bringing up some old emotional scars I think and is just fucking with me. I'm usually never this insecure or uncertain about being straightforward. I think I need to just find some way to bring it up without being accusatory.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4285713&forum_id=2#38409089)

They also give some really shitty advice

Link

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/c13s1w/wifef33_and_i_m34_decided_to_try_for_kids_last/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4285713&forum_id=2#38409442)

miracles truly do happen!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4285713&forum_id=2#38411239)

Any time someone has a real serious problem, you can pretty much assume a doctor have them bad/wrong advice at some point and only actually noticed the issue after the problem didn’t resolve itself after a few months.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4285713&forum_id=2#38411287)

https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/c2grcq/happy_update_wifef33_and_i_m34_decided_to_try_for/

Redditors are so gullible, her explanation for moving the money makes zero sense. Still think this was flame and dude didn't have the courage to take it all the way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4285713&forum_id=2#38414246)