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How did your parents react when they found out you were sexually active? (Susan

Susan James Answered May 11, 2019 My parents got divor...

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Date: July 11th, 2019 3:25 PM
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Susan James

Answered May 11, 2019

My parents got divorced when I was 6 and my dad moved across the country so I rarely saw him. My mom was only 30 then, attractive, and she was having an affair with the older guy that owned the real estate firm where she worked. That went on for several years until the guy's wife found out and my mom got fired. She worked as a receptionist at this orthodontist office after that. She had a drinking problem and was also pretty promiscuous. She tried to hide it at first but eventually she started bringing guys home with her to spend the night. This was when I was about 10 or 11. My older sister started having sex with guys when she was 16 and was 13. So I was aware that both my mom and sister were having sex and I wasn't.

When I was 15 I started having sex with my older sister's old boyfriend (he was 21.) I was able to keep it secret for about a month before my mom found out. She was livid and forbade me to see him any more. I called her a hypocrite because I knew she and my sister were fucking guys and why should I be left out. She started crying and talking about how she was a failure as a mother. I felt bad for her (she really had problems) so I told her it was OK and that I'd stop seeing him.

Things were ok for a while but she started seeing “boyfriends” again. My sister turned 18 and moved in with a guy twice her age. I started having sex with boys (and some older guys) but I was very discreet about it. Everything was OK until I got pregnant when I was 17. My mom found out and nearly died because she had also gotten pregnant at 17 (my sister.) She eventually arranged for me to have an abortion which was hard for her because she was raised by a strict Catholic mother but she said that she didn't want my life ruined like her life had been.

When I was 17 1/2 I started having sex with one of her old boyfriends who was twice my age and lived in our neighborhood. When she found out she lost it again but the guy (he's a cop) calmed her down by telling her I’d be out of control without him and he'd keep me focused and get me in college. She eventually relented and I moved in with him while I was still a senior in high school. He and I broke up when I was 18 and I moved away where my mom would have no knowledge of my sex life.

My mom and I clashed sometimes but I really feel kinda sorry for her. She's had a difficult life and I see a lot of myself in her, including depression, substance abuse, and high sexual drive. We get along OK now but we're not really close.