https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-feel-betrayed-my-husband-is-splitting-his-estate-5050-between-me-and-his-daughter-should-i-find-another-husband-2020-01-13?siteid=rss&rss=1

This one is the most recent, but there are dozens if not hundreds like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39533509)

Boomers are truly abject SHIT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39533531)

So fun to read between the lines on these questions lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39533538)

I've been meaning to make an XO thread about this for months now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39533581)

-John smith

Influencer

13h

Did financial security figure into your decision to marry him?

Is the Pope Catholic?

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-Ray Cane

Influencer

6hJohn smith

Just to be clear: this so-called pope is a satanic fraud.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39533701)

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-earn-twice-what-my-husband-makes-and-pay-all-the-bills-but-i-have-no-idea-how-much-money-he-has-saved-2019-08-27

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39546600)

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-am-34-have-550k-and-own-several-properties-my-girlfriend-bought-a-37k-mercedes-she-says-i-will-have-saved-enough-money-for-both-of-us-2020-02-11

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39577634)

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/im-hurt-and-apprehensive-about-where-i-stand-my-husband-of-5-years-inherited-his-parents-home-in-california-and-didnt-put-my-name-on-the-deed-what-should-i-do-2020-02-14?link=TD_nypost_articles.7c7e0f416376f79f&utm_source=nypost_articles.7c7e0f416376f79f&utm_campaign=circular&utm_medium=MARKETWATCH

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39606658)

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-just-dont-care-for-my-stepdaughter-i-want-to-give-my-two-kids-100k-a-year-would-it-be-wrong-to-leave-my-stepdaughter-out-2020-02-13?mod=the-moneyist

Mixed families are a disaster.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39608121)

like...what exactly? those are some pretty strong adjectives. pretty weird to say something like that and then not go on to describe specifically what this "damage" supposedly is

just don't tell the stepdaughter about giving the real children more money, and tell the other kids not to tell her either. i'm sure they dislike her just as much as the dad. she's clearly a trash tier person descended from another couple of trash tier losers

the fact that this guy already divorced the stepdaughter's mom and is still considering doing this as if she is as much "family" as his own biological children is just comical

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39608227)

it seems like the kids do like the step-d (or he wouldn't even be going through this analysis). He knows if he doesn't give her that $ it will damage their relationship with their half-sister. The question is whether he can put his own petty dislike aside to do what's best for his kids.

In other words, ignore the stepdaughter entirely. What he's saying is "it would be best for my kids if I did X. But my own petty vanities make me want to do Y."

One interesting trick is that you have to set aside the idea of $100K because to you or me it seems like wow! that's a lot of money! But to this guy it's obviously like 50 cents. so the "value" of the $100K to the Boomer here doesn't enter into the analysis

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39608255)

i've known "families" like this and it's always the same story. nobody likes the step-"daughter/son" and they don't consider them family

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39608285)

Here we learn that you can completely disinherit your spouse via a will.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39631258)

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/my-wife-wife-made-a-fool-of-me-she-secretly-saved-40k-and-didnt-mention-she-was-fired-6-months-ago-i-drove-an-uber-on-weekends-to-pay-the-bills-what-should-i-do-2020-02-26?mod=the-moneyist

Dear Moneyist,

My wife and I have been married for 13 years and live in New Jersey. I’m 44 years old and she is 41. Things have not been perfect, but three years ago we had a beautiful daughter whom I love very much.

I have been committed to making the marriage work, and I’m trying to give my daughter a stable, loving family environment. But about four months ago, our arguments became more severe.

I think that having a child in a relationship places a responsibility on both parents to design a family plan that lays out financial stepping stones for education, retirement and general budgeting.

Want to read more? Follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter and read more of his columns here

My wife and I have never agreed on budgeting or spending. The conversation would always end in an argument. I’m sick of it and I don’t see a future if we can’t plan, or talk about a financial plan.

NOW PLAYING:

Weinstein Guilty of Sex Crimes, Acquitted of Most Severe Charges

One month ago, I had a talk with my wife after seeing a therapist. The therapist session revealed that she didn’t trust me. I pushed for us to talk outside of a counseling session.

I explained to her that if we don’t have trust, we can’t have a relationship. My wife revealed that she had saved up $40,000 and withdrawn $25,000 from her retirement account.

The Moneyist: ‘I’m worried that my daughter would blow through her inheritance.’ My family has a trust fund worth $6 million. Should I keep this money a secret from my kids?

She told me she had spent most of the $40,000 and the $25,000. I was shocked, but remained calm.

At the time, I worked after I finished my full-time job as an Uber UBER, -4.01% driver to pay half the mortgage. I felt a tremendous amount of pressure to stay out on Friday and Saturday nights driving an Uber until 1 a.m. and 2 a.m.

Why am I killing myself while my wife has the financial flexibility to save and I don’t?

The Moneyist: ‘I just don’t care for my stepdaughter.’ I want to give my two kids $100K a year. Would it be wrong to leave my stepdaughter out?

I looked through her paperwork while she was on vacation in Jamaica and found out that she was laid off six months prior. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t tell me. She still hasn’t admitted it.

I feel like my wife made a fool of me. What she has done is so disrespectful. We still can’t talk about money and future plans, among a whole long list of other issues. I’m on the path to getting a divorce.

What do you think?

Living in an Unhealthy Marriage

Dear Living,

On a financial-infidelity scale of zero to 10, this rates close to a 10. You are left with so many painful questions. How could your wife watch you leave home every Friday and Saturday night to drive an Uber until the early hours of the morning? Where did she go when she was supposed to be at work? Why did she save $40,000 in secret? What reason could she have for dipping into her retirement account for $25,000, likely at a hefty penalty?

Honest answers to these questions may or may not save your marriage, and save you from pulling the lever on divorce proceedings. But ultimately they’re for her to grapple with. Your wife’s problems are bigger than your marriage and almost certainly predated it, whether it’s been a rocky one or not. These are not the run-of-the-mill monetary secrets and lies that take place within a marriage. Typically, one partner runs up credit-card debt or buys something indulgent.

The Moneyist: My father left everything to my son. When I called the attorney about the will, my son got very upset. I now need financial help. Should I ask him for money?

But this is a credit card of a different color. More than half of adults (55%) say keeping a secret account is as bad as actually cheating on someone, and one in five say it’s worse than physical infidelity, according to a survey released last year. Older people with higher incomes and education levels were more likely to believe that physical cheating is worse. In your case, I believe an affair would be less egregious than what has happened in your marriage.

Without trust in your partner and respect in your marriage, what is there? Two people living together who once had a romantic connection and now share multiple responsibilities, including a child, a home, and the promise that they would love and support each other in sickness and in health. Your wife could be putting together an emergency fund so she can leave the marriage and restart her life somewhere else. No one knows what she’s thinking except for her.

The Moneyist: ‘What did he do with all the money?’ My dying husband cashed his $700K life insurance and emptied his bank accounts

The good news: You don’t have to figure out why your wife did what she did, nor is it your job to make her see how hurtful this is to you and damaging to your relationship. That’s for her to do. Your job is to help take care of your child and yourself. Without any explanation or even acknowledgment that she is no longer working, assuming that’s the case, you can’t move forward. Notwithstanding more marriage-counseling sessions, it’s time to make your own exit strategy.

You can and should be transparent about your future plans. A woman recently wrote to me about her husband’s secret will. She wanted to write one herself, but I advised her not to allow her spouse's behavior to change who she is. I offer the same advice to you. New Jersey is an equitable-distribution state. Your assets will be divided in a manner that is deemed fair to the court, but not necessarily equal. Your wife’s financial infidelity will be taken into account.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39659622)

Pull the level, get out. Court is going to feel bad for you.

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Jons Ax

Leader

1h

I'm sorry you have a child with this woman. I'm not sure that this situation can be salvaged as the lack of trust seems complete. Put your financial house in order for what may come next (divorce). Maybe you two would do better not being married so that your finances weren't tangled. It sounds like your wife is making a lot more money than you, but you both may feel the tax consequences from the early withdrawal of retirement money.

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Comintern S.

1h

lol, this is what my mother did 50 years ago to my father.

Get rid of the Hyena while you can. Get the most expensive lawyer you can afford and never look back. Don't be sentimental, don't worry endlessly over the child, just get rid of the wart and never marry again, since the arrangement screws men as you see.

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39659711)

LLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39659695)

I like how they include the stock quote

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39659782)

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/im-a-financially-bullied-husband-my-wife-makes-500000-5-times-my-income-and-tells-me-to-live-in-a-motor-home-would-i-be-entitled-to-anything-if-we-divorced-2020-03-07

My wife of 15 years makes about five times what I make — approximately $500,000 a year — and she always has. She and I had an agreement, which of course has been long forgotten by her, that her money would pay for the household expenses and mine would pay for our entertainment.

We eat out once or twice a week, usually around $60 each time, with the occasional $200 to $300 meal three to four times a year, which I pay for. We also usually take a $3,000 to $5,000 vacation once a year, which I also pay for.

The Moneyist: ‘What did he do with all the money?’ My dying husband cashed his $700K life insurance and emptied his bank accounts

I shower her with expensive gifts two to three times a year. She loves quality jewelry, but I love her and love to make her happy. We have substantial savings (mid six figures). Most all that came from her earnings since our marriage. She had none to mention when we first married.

The problem is that we bought a new home a few years ago — when she still remembered our agreement. The home is out of my affordability range. She refers to it as “her house,” and has started hounding me for half the mortgage payment and saying she pays for everything so it’s all hers.

The Moneyist: My mom asked for a divorce. My dad made his mother his pension beneficiary and then he killed himself. Now my mom and grandma are feuding. Who’s right?

I travel quite a bit for my work and bought a motor home a few years ago to stay in while I’m away. I pay for it, but she is excited to use it for outings and calls it “ours.” I also pay for my vehicle, insurance, and business insurance along with my credit-card balances in full each month.

She has been threatening at times, telling me I can go live in my motor home and she’ll take everything else. I don’t like being threatened and just wonder how much would I be entitled to in Texas in a divorce, if it ever came about. We also have over $100,000 equity in the house.

Feeling Financially Bullied Husband

Dear Financially Bullied,

Your problems are all about money — and they have nothing to do with money. There are so many other issues here: how you speak to each other, the spoken or unspoken covenant of mutual respect in this relationship has been broken, feelings of ill-will in relation to perceived entitlements.

Sometimes, you have to risk walking away from something you value in order to save it. You can’t allow this increasingly toxic “status quo” to continue because of either your fear of being alone or your fear of economic insecurity. You can’t save your marriage by ignoring the problems.

Your wife did not forget about your arrangement. She chose to forget about it. You need a new financial and personal blueprint to make this marriage work. If you both love each other and want to return to that place of respect, it’s worth giving it a shot.

The Moneyist: My stepfather and mother pooled resources to buy a home. My mom died in 2003 and he just passed away. His kids are selling their house — am I entitled to anything?

I don’t know what she was thinking, but I’ll give it my best shot. She was, I imagine, resentful by the imbalance in incomes and the division of financial responsibilities that you had agreed upon, and decided that they no longer suited her. She just didn’t inform you of her change of heart.

You have a lot of discretionary expenses — gifts of jewelry, expensive meals etc. — that you can ill-afford. She has come to expect these gifts and, perhaps, sees these gifts as a reward and/or payback for what she sees as shouldering the lion’s share of the mortgage and other bills.

A better arrangement would be to live in a house that you can both afford to split 50/50. That means splitting everything down the middle: the mortgage, the utilities, and everything else. You could agree to deposit a certain amount in a joint bank account, and keep the remainder separate.

The Moneyist: My father-in-law’s business went south and my mother-in-law has never worked a day in her life. How can I avoid supporting them?

Your traditional, some would say archaic, gender roles are topsy-turvy. Your wife is the biggest earner. That is increasingly common, although men still tend to earn more than their spouses. But you are trying to keep up with other, more old-fashioned gender roles (expensive jewels).

If your wife wants to live in a larger house that you cannot afford, and you are OK with that, you could agree to split the mortgage and other bills, as a percentage of your respective incomes. But agree to revisit that arrangement in one year. It may be that you either move, or agree to separate.

You are both having your cake and eating it. Your wife is enjoying the lifestyle to which she wants to become accustomed to with her mid-six-figure earnings, and you are trying to keep up, while enjoying the spoils of this relatively lavish lifestyle. You are, at least, splitting your lifestyle 50/50.

The Moneyist: ‘She injected my dad with ketamine, enough to kill him.’ My father died in hospice care — and left almost everything to his nurse

But while your wife’s resentments have grown, so too have your feelings of discomfort. It’s time to see a financial therapist, a couple’s therapist, a financial adviser, or all three. Put your cards on the table, talk about how you feel without judgement, and allow your wife to do the same.

The worst that can happen is not that you separate. At least, not if you are both happier as a result. The worst that can happen is living in this situation where your wife says cruel things, and you either suck them up and maintain a fearful silence, or say cruel things back to your wife.

You live in a community property state. Assuming that you did not sign a prenuptial agreement, everything you both earned during your marriage will be split 50/50. That includes your joint savings accounts and your home. Bottom line: This has gone on long enough, my friend.

It’s time to bite the gold necklace — and talk

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4436786&forum_id=2#39710627)