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"bad" psilocybin mushroom trip
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Date: February 24th, 2020 3:59 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy First time on psilocybin. My cousin described her trip as being like "therapy on steroids." Decided to take the plunge after seeing positive changes in her after her use.
A very difficult 6 hour period, and I spent much of it crying. Also vomited 3 or 4 times, though I didn't mind that so much. Not sure to what extent my life has been changed, but my body does feel lighter, or more accurately, less weighed down.
Taking questions. |
Date: February 24th, 2020 4:00 PM Author: passionate bearded windowlicker What a dumb trip report. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645146) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:01 PM Author: Nubile glittery lodge mental disorder Sounds like the mushrooms worked great and you're the one whose broken (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645148) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:04 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy cr. I Placed "bad" in quotes for that reason. I went into it hoping for therapeutic effect, and I think that's what I got. Just not sure to what extent. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645159) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:09 PM Author: rusted histrionic generalized bond Previous monikers? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645194) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:11 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy brand new poster. first day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645205) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:16 PM Author: rusted histrionic generalized bond T. Poaster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645234) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:11 PM Author: Violet Step-uncle's House Foreskin did you think through your issues and come to any conclusions? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645204) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:17 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy I was tripping very hard. The auditory and visual hallucinations were very disorienting. I didn't really have the capacity to think at all during the trip, and there wasn't any insight to tie everything together. I was basically shot out into space for a few hours on a bone rattling ride aboard a rickety spaceship.
I did have a glimpse into my compulsive behavior and saw that there is freedom to act differently. It's one thought that I keep with me, but it's still hard to refrain from bad habits. |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:14 PM Author: frozen lilac milk headpube Dumbs like you should entirely avoid psychedelics.
Full stop.
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:18 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy explain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645241) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:14 PM Author: electric spruce persian hell How many grams did you eat? Tbh sounds like a very positive experience for you overall. Now you will need to integrate what they taught you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645219) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:22 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Thank you, I feel that it was very helpful. I think it'll take me at least another couple of weeks to integrate these fragments. Given that I took only 3.5g the experience was a lot stronger than expected. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645262) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:39 PM Author: electric spruce persian hell 3.5g is a very strong dose. Do you feel less depressed/anxious now? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645319) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:52 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy I had a few hours of a warm afterglow of emotions. But otherwise, I haven't felt less depressed in the intervening week since the trip. If anything, I feel like diving into difficult emotions is allowing them to surface, making day to day experience more difficult. But it is also allowing me to cry and achieve some catharsis, even after the trip. I think it will take some time to achieve equilibrium and integration. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645385) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:32 PM Author: hot arousing international law enforcement agency 3.5g for first time is a normal but strong dose especially if you've never tried psychedelics before.
Care to provide a narrative of the trip? What compulsive behavior did you become aware of?
I picked up 20-30 tabs of lsd and have been thinking of running some psychedelic therapy trips with my friends. I think I know how to be a good guide for these. |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:38 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645318) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:48 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy How does LSD differ from psilocybin as a means of therapy? The only two drugs I looked into were MDMA and psilocybin. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645366) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 5:51 PM Author: electric spruce persian hell Tcq (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645669) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 8:54 PM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye fairly similar experiences to me when used for therapeutic purposes. lsd will last a few hours longer and left me feeling more tired/burnt out the next day, so i wouldn't use it often. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39646445) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:13 PM Author: hot arousing international law enforcement agency what were your therapeutic methods? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647401) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:00 AM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye The same way Stanislav grof did it. Lay on the couch with eyeshades and sometimes music/headphones. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647678) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:28 PM Author: hot arousing international law enforcement agency I can't compare the two because I did shrooms in college when my brain and mental state were very different. I recall it being similar to your experience in that it was fragmented, disorienting, and very uncomfortable at times. My second trip did provide a breakthrough of sorts where I learned self-acceptance though it wasn't pleasant by any means. Both times were 3.5 grams.
I tried LSD more recently (10+ yrs later) and I'm more comfortable in my own skin, and mature. I'd say my experience on LSD is way cleaner, less of a body load, I'm in more control, I'm fairly coherent, and generally lighter. But I don't know if that's just me, the circumstances, the drug, or fact that I'm using smaller doses.
Each time has been 100 mics, or 1 tab. These are pretty small doses, I think. I didn't combine shrooms with any therapy because I barely knew wtf I was doing back in college. However, with LSD, I've tried listening to certain music. I found a Vice article about this neuroscientist grad student who constructed the perfect playlist for a psychedelic trip. He's got a few playlists on Spotify. Then I went camping and listened to that shit and just tripped in the mountains. Shit was beautiful.
Next trip I think I'll listen to some binaural beats. |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:49 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Interesting. I've been wondering if I can still achieve emotional catharsis on a lower dose. Maybe it'll provide a more controlled experience. Only one way to find out, I guess!
I tried to listen to the Spotify playlist used for the psilocybin study at Johns Hopkins. But I found it too distracting and stopped the music pretty quickly once my trip started. |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 4:53 PM Author: Black Shrine i found the ego self-reflection disturbingly strong when i took them as a teenager and in my early 20s. i think taking them now would make me kill myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645388) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 5:02 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Yeah, I probably wouldn't have gotten a lot out of it in my 20s. As difficult the experience was, I'm glad that I took it now. I read about studies of psilocybin helping terminal cancer patients come to better grips with their mortality. Seems like if you want to use it as therapy, it's best to wait until your 30s. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645441) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 5:54 PM Author: electric spruce persian hell https://youtu.be/k0E7J42JFR0 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39645689) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 8:48 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39646402) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 8:57 PM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye i cried at some point pretty much every time i took psilocybin lmao. one reason i'd avoid taking them in public if i were to ever do it again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39646463) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 9:08 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy I must have looked like an absolute lunatic. I was vigorously shaking limbs at one point, and used up an entire box of tissues for the tears. Can't imagine having done this anywhere but in the privacy of my home.
A couple of things I'm fairly sure of, based on previous experiences as well as the psilocybin use:
The body stores emotions
There are motor impulses associated with emotions
Crying can release emotions |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:13 PM Author: curious federal address were you thinking anything consciously that led to you crying or no (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647398) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:26 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Most of the tears just came. My working hypothesis is that emotions are stored in the body. I carry quite a bit of tension in the shoulder and shoulder blades. I know there's emotional association there because I can feel them become extra tense when I'm angry. When I paid attention to these areas, the tears came and I would cry for a while. After a breather, I would mentally return to the tension, then the tears would come again. This cycle repeated a number of times.
But I also cried extra hard while reflecting on some painful early childhood experiences. |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:21 AM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye This Probably explains my lower back pain that never goes away and gets worse when I’m especially anxious lmao.
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Date: February 25th, 2020 11:45 AM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Sounds horrible. I hope your pain gets better. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39649765) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 8:57 PM Author: Slap-happy Chapel You literally just gave yourself some mild brain damage so enjoy that I guess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39646464) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 8:59 PM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye link? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39646473) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 9:08 PM Author: curious federal address lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39646537) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 9:15 PM Author: electric spruce persian hell (Jeff Sessions) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39646582) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:14 PM Author: Hyperactive nursing home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647405) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 9:11 PM Author: curious federal address when i took shrooms it was the first time i realized what being “chill” was like and ya holy shit is that gay
that was after hours of yelling and laughing hysterically though |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:14 PM Author: Hyperactive nursing home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647408) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:18 PM Author: curious federal address only time i did/will ever do them if you're not sober and constantly enraged you are losing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647425) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 10:41 PM Author: Soggy Parlor How'd you get them? Did you do them alone or with someone? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647266) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 10:54 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy My cousin put me in touch with a friend of a friend she bought from. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find someone if you ask around discreetly. Weirdly enough, you can also legally buy all the supplies you need to grow your own mushrooms.
I was pretty focused on using it for therapy, so I took it alone. I don't think I'd ever take it with someone around; I'd be afraid of freaking them out, as well as of them interfering with the process. |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:15 PM Author: 180 stead Easiest option is to just buy 4-aco-dmt. No nausea, dirt cheap and there are a number of different clearnet vendors (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647412) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:35 PM Author: hot arousing international law enforcement agency do you smoke this? i've been considering this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647532) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:51 PM Author: 180 stead No. Just consumed it orally (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647621) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:41 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Thank you. Will check out. You can just buy it off the web? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647572) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:55 PM Author: 180 stead Yes. I bought a bunch from lysergi when it was still around. I am not sure what the best vendor is now.
A lot of the other research chemical psychedelics are interesting too if you want a different experience from shrooms. 5-meo-mipt is my favorite - almost like an empathogen. 4-ho-met is fun |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:26 AM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye http://theindoleshop.com/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647835) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 10:51 AM Author: hot arousing international law enforcement agency ty. you still experimenting or no? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39649488) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:19 PM Author: Underhanded half-breed knife Both crying and vomiting are absolutely normal. Are you glad you did it? Will you again? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647431) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:41 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Yes, I'm glad for the massively cathartic experience. At the time it felt dangerous and like a punishment. It's now been a week and even now I can feel difficult emotions arise from a deeper place. It's a little early to call it, but I feel as though this is helping me deal with unhealthy emotions.
One definite change I can speak of is a reduced fear of dying. Mortality became an especially charged topic for me once I had a child, but I think the mushroom trip changed the wiring somehow. I find that the thought of dying doesn't make me freeze with fear like it used to. Or maybe it's just placebo effect based on my readings about psilocybin helping cancer patients deal with their mortality.
I think I'll do it again after a few months. Maybe in the summer. I don't think it's something I'll want to do very often, though. It seems like it will take some time to process what I went through before I'm ready again.
What has your experience been like? |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:57 PM Author: pearly fear-inspiring school cafeteria absolutely hate mushrooms. never had a good experience. i think it's a sign that i have a diseased mind. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647661) |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:58 PM Author: curious federal address u prob just took it at a bad time
i always assumed id try to kill myself if i did shrooms but i did it at a good time and it felt great |
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Date: February 24th, 2020 11:58 PM Author: pearly fear-inspiring school cafeteria i did it at least 5 times. always went to a very negative place. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647672) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:02 AM Author: curious federal address idk still everyone who has ever told me that having a bad trip or something is an indicator of having a deeply "toxic" mind was a huge faggot so youre probably good (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647688) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:02 AM Author: pearly fear-inspiring school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647693) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:05 AM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy In what ways were your experiences bad?
I had what a lot of people would consider a bad trip, but I explicitly wanted to use mushrooms to deal with difficult emotions and hopefully to heal, so I expected to experience difficulty and more or less accepted it all as necessary. |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:07 AM Author: pearly fear-inspiring school cafeteria overwhelming feelings of guilt, regret, inadequacy, failure. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39647733) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 11:01 AM Author: hot arousing international law enforcement agency were you able to resolve them or no? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39649548) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 11:17 AM Author: pearly fear-inspiring school cafeteria no. nothing productive came out of it. maybe i was too scared or too much of a pussy to actually confront my issues at the time. in theory, i'd like to give it another shot but the risks of a bad trip now are too high with so many people dependent on me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39649635) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:12 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Maybe the mushroom was too strong to deal with all at once. I don't know about you, but now that I have a kid, I'm so much more motivated to get better to give my child the most loving upbringing I can provide. Perhaps mushroom isn't the way for you, though. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39649851) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 1:37 PM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye IMO A “bad trip” is a much more traumatic experience than what you’re describing. You can come out of it feeling even more mentally ill (anxiety and depression symptoms become much worse, moments of derealization/depersonalization for a while after). I’ve only experienced that once in my life on a huge dose and i didn’t touch shrooms again for a few years after (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39650336) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 2:03 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy I'm having a hard time, for what it's worth. Definitely experiencing heightened emotions like fear, loneliness. It's also been harder to attend to activities of daily living.
I did have a substantial cry this morning, which relieved some of these feelings. |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 2:06 PM Author: Grizzly titillating filthpig round eye thoughts and prayers brother. sounds like you'll be ok (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39650504) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 2:58 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Thank you so much, brother. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39650859) |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 11:31 AM Author: tantric heady office Only sounds like you did a little too much for the first time and maybe didnt have the right padding in your stomach or hydration issue. I've never been really nauseous or thrown up on shrooms but always hear how it's very common.
Last time I had 2 weeks of unmitigated 180 anxiety relief. Allowed me to calibrate a bit and was def worth it. Looking to get some acid to see the difference. |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 11:43 AM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Was it a temporary relief from anxiety, or did something more permanent come out of it?
I must have peed at least 6 or 7 times during the trip, and I think I drank over 100 ounces of water. |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 11:53 AM Author: tantric heady office I was in a pretty bad spot after my mother died and I moved out of the US. It kicked some depression out and relieved a lot of anxiety. New things to be anxious about came after, but it still helped me build some tools to address it more quickly and to a certain extent not let it become all consuming like it had previously. I prob do it twice a year now, and each time I get a nice "reset" and a few weeks of afterglow as well. Some people have a hard time in public, but I enjoy it and can still function. Last time I went to a big park and laid in the grass and played with my dog and chilled at sunset. Was great.
Also, some people have a hard time digesting it thus vomiting. Next time try making a shroom tea instead - just gotta not steep it too hot or else it kills the psilocybin. |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 12:05 PM Author: Amethyst Adventurous Field Puppy Sounds like it helped you quite a bit in a really tough time in your life. 180.
I chopped up the mushroom and steeped it for about 10 minutes. Also drank some grapefruit juice with it. After downing the tea, I ate the mushroom grounds in a moment of abandon anyway. I could be wrong, but I thought that there might be an emotional aspect to the vomiting. |
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Date: February 25th, 2020 5:08 PM Author: hot arousing international law enforcement agency If you're looking to revisit some of those issues I'd suggest trying a single dose of LSD or 100 mics. It won't be as intense but still enough. I'd also suggest planning out your trip a little. I would be bouncing off the walls restless if I had to stay in my bedroom for 6 hours. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4452352&forum_id=2#39651531) |