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I give you two lame superpowers. You tell me which one you'd prefer.

...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
...
Chrome cerebral volcanic crater indian lodge
  06/15/20
A: Super French Toast Making Ability. Anytime you make Frenc...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
A I could garner more attention with that skill. I’d...
Chrome cerebral volcanic crater indian lodge
  06/15/20
You could become a millionaire with a
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
...
blue degenerate round eye
  06/15/20
...
Effete corner hunting ground
  06/15/20
...
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
A, for sure
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
A. easily
Lime stimulating mood locale
  06/15/20
...
Erotic aromatic juggernaut
  06/15/20
A: By touching somebody's forehead, you can see what they we...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Lol how do u think this shit up 🤣🤣
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
It’s his lame superpower: kooky autism
Histrionic dull orchestra pit
  06/15/20
...
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
...
Effete corner hunting ground
  06/15/20
...
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
...
seedy point
  06/15/20
...
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
...
concupiscible primrose sound barrier
  06/15/20
...
claret nibblets boistinker
  06/15/20
the feet thing. that's pretty cool.
Erotic aromatic juggernaut
  06/15/20
B
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
A would be more informative but you have to touch them, so B...
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
...
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
A: By chanting "known unknowns, know unknowns, known un...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Jesus these are both amazing but I'd use my invisible mini R...
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
does mini rumsfeld retain memories of previous times you've ...
amethyst motley stead
  06/15/20
Yes.
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
This is so op
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
*squishes mini-Don like jiminy cricket*
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
"Its strawberry"
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
...
High-end church
  06/15/20
A
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
Neither of these are lame. I'd take A. Also does mini-Ru...
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
higher pitched of course
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Yeah, I guess regular voice wouldn't make any sense
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
Come on man think these things through
Chest-beating business firm cuckold
  06/15/20
...
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
...
adventurous flushed weed whacker
  06/15/20
A: You can partially control showers with your mind. You can...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
B. the incantation is "all lives matter"
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
unfortunately you must go by CIA World Factbook listings of ...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
...
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
A: Just by looking at somebody, you can sense whether they'd...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Does A work on JJC?
blue degenerate round eye
  06/15/20
of course
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
LOL B
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
B would just be a constant cacophany of "too dumb"...
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
lol how was Auburn
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Spring Hill actually
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
A is incredible
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
B
concupiscible primrose sound barrier
  06/15/20
B
Effete corner hunting ground
  06/15/20
...
Sepia state
  06/15/20
A: Anytime you want to, you can enter a trance-like state wh...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Do the gauchos ever jerk each other off? You know, just bro...
copper multi-billionaire
  06/15/20
The pampas are an extreme environment, where sometimes men m...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Imagine surprising bros in a backyard game with your sudden ...
Citrine love of her life meetinghouse
  06/15/20
...
seedy point
  06/15/20
A: No matter what situation you find yourself in, you will A...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
A gives you a much wider range, so A. Not sure either is a ...
seedy point
  06/15/20
A woukd make you a literal legend
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
Gonna do this with Shakespeare instead.
seedy point
  06/15/20
A you would blow away juries and judges.
Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water
  06/15/20
A Didn't even read b
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
A isn't lame at all
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
*enters Blockbuster* *screams warnings about 9/11, Iraq, ...
Citrine love of her life meetinghouse
  06/15/20
If I tried really hard I could just memorize a movie from 19...
Lime stimulating mood locale
  06/15/20
Blockbuster didn't just have the latest releases, it also ha...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
A
Effete corner hunting ground
  06/15/20
...
Sienna Mad-dog Skullcap Foreskin
  06/15/20
A: You have what appears to be a broken stopwatch. But if yo...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
That would be so amazing I would rape so many greats
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
...
Citrine love of her life meetinghouse
  06/15/20
A: You can coin nicknames for people that are just okay. Whe...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
Didn't A help George Bush become president?
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
B Convert regular pineapples into heligans, store grapes ...
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
B easily. Arbitrage with some of those exotic ones that cost...
Citrine love of her life meetinghouse
  06/15/20
yea B. become an exotic fruit tycoon
Lime stimulating mood locale
  06/15/20
...
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
A: If you look at somebody for 5 seconds (without anyone or ...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
XO autists insisting Cornell grad already had a slipped disc
Citrine love of her life meetinghouse
  06/15/20
Lmfao u sick fuck
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
A
spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth
  06/15/20
A would be a liability - imagine being around a bunch of jud...
curious trailer park nowag
  06/15/20
I think there have been two occasions in my life when I was ...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
...
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
A: Once a day, you can cough up a one-day supply of any pres...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
A all day bro
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
Definitely A.
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
A and it's not close lol
concupiscible primrose sound barrier
  06/15/20
B made me laugh
big sanctuary water buffalo
  06/15/20
lmao OP = bort treasure
saffron razzle hospital
  06/15/20
...
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
...
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
...
amethyst motley stead
  06/15/20
...
cowardly coiffed pit windowlicker
  06/15/20
...
High-end church
  06/15/20
...
Mind-boggling hell
  06/15/20
...
Effete corner hunting ground
  06/15/20
...
cowardly coiffed pit windowlicker
  06/15/20
A: You can speak fluent Sumerian, including words that moder...
lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy
  06/15/20
B. Im sure there is some way to get famous in academia wi...
provocative maroon institution
  06/15/20
a would be an amazing connection to our ancestors and cre...
shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol
  06/15/20
B, so i can read some old philosophy books in their native t...
cowardly coiffed pit windowlicker
  06/15/20
...
concupiscible primrose sound barrier
  06/15/20
hehehe what are the u.s.a. and russia alex?
vigorous headpube
  06/15/20
sprinted here
galvanic range
  06/15/20
kekekekekekekeke
Vibrant Tanning Salon
  06/15/20
...
amethyst motley stead
  06/15/20
...
claret nibblets boistinker
  06/15/20
...
Dashing Temple
  06/15/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:28 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419367)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:29 AM
Author: Chrome cerebral volcanic crater indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419368)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:34 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: Super French Toast Making Ability. Anytime you make French Toast, even if it is with mediocre ingredients, it comes out really good. Like, the same quality as a top Manhattan brunch spot.

B: Super Salad Dressing Measuring. Anytime you put dressing on a salad, you use the exact right amount of dressing: never too much, never too little. So for example if you are serving a salad to somebody, you magically know exactly how much dressing they want on it. Or, if you need to conserve salad dressing until you can go out and buy more, you'll use JUST enough so that you don't run out until right before your next trip to the grocery.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419378)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:36 AM
Author: Chrome cerebral volcanic crater indian lodge

A

I could garner more attention with that skill. I’d be known as the French toast man. Maybe start my own brunch spot specializing in French toast

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419381)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:39 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

You could become a millionaire with a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419384)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:52 AM
Author: blue degenerate round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419407)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:19 AM
Author: Effete corner hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419446)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:14 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419605)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:33 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth

A, for sure

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419667)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 5:07 PM
Author: Lime stimulating mood locale

A. easily

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423387)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:29 AM
Author: Erotic aromatic juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419369)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:38 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: By touching somebody's forehead, you can see what they were doing in the year 2005. You get a vision of something that generally describes their experience of that year. So if you touch somebody who was a huge stoner in '05, you get a vision of them smoking weed in their dorm room. If you touch the forehead of former MLB player Jermaine Dye, you get a vision of him accepting the 2005 World Series MVP trophy, etc. Obviously, this power will wane in usefulness as more and more of the world consists of people who were not yet born in 2005.

B: If you stare at an American's feet for 5 seconds, you get a vision of what they would be like if they had been born in Europe. If you stare at a European's feet for 5 seconds, you get a vision of what they would be like if they had been born in America. This works on anyone born in the United States or in Europe, even if they are from recent immigrant stock. It does not work on people born on any other continent, even if their immediate ancestors were from the USA or Europe. It is up to you to determine if this is useful at all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419383)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:40 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

Lol how do u think this shit up 🤣🤣

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419385)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:59 AM
Author: Histrionic dull orchestra pit

It’s his lame superpower: kooky autism

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419414)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419426)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:20 AM
Author: Effete corner hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419447)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:36 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419485)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:37 AM
Author: seedy point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419487)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:34 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419671)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 12:38 PM
Author: concupiscible primrose sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421284)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 3:48 PM
Author: claret nibblets boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422653)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:41 AM
Author: Erotic aromatic juggernaut

the feet thing. that's pretty cool.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419388)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:34 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth

B

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419669)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:48 AM
Author: provocative maroon institution

A would be more informative but you have to touch them, so B would be more practical to use.

Still would be 180 for some dude to get an image of his wife blowing the HS quarterback every time he touched her head

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419723)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:29 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419370)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:46 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: By chanting "known unknowns, know unknowns, known unknowns" you can make a miniature (~1 foot tall) Donald Rumsfeld appear. This Donald Rumsfeld has the intelligence, humor, and life experience of the real Donald Rumsfeld, but only you can see him. When summoned, this mini Rumsfeld will gladly give you advice or answer any questions you have, to the best of his ability. The mini Rumsfeld will be with you for the rest of your life, even after the full sized Donald Rumsfeld dies.

B: You become a Were-Wolfowitz: a person who can change into Paul Wolfowitz at will. When you become Paul Wolfowitz, everyone believes you're the real Paul Wolfowitz and it is a great way to sneak into conferences you would not otherwise be invited to. However, there are two big caveats. First, if you ever encounter the real Paul Wolfowitz while you are taking his shape, you and the real Paul Wolfowitz will fight to the death. Second, the longer you stay as Paul Wolfowitz, the more control the Wolfowitz within you takes. So if you are just Paul Wolfowitz for a few hours to get into AIPAC for free, you're fine, but if you stay as Paul Wolfowitz for a day you start to lose control and your own will and desire is replaced by a desire to spread democracy to the Middle East, by force if necessary. It's hypothesized that if you stay as Wolfowitz for too long, you totally lose control and just become a second Paul Wolfowitz.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419398)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:38 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

Jesus these are both amazing but I'd use my invisible mini Rumsfeld as a spy device

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419493)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:20 AM
Author: amethyst motley stead

does mini rumsfeld retain memories of previous times you've summoned him?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419626)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:24 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

Yes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419637)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:26 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

This is so op



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419641)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:27 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water

*squishes mini-Don like jiminy cricket*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419644)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:28 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

"Its strawberry"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419648)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 11:18 AM
Author: High-end church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40420630)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:35 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth

A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419675)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:49 AM
Author: provocative maroon institution

Neither of these are lame. I'd take A.

Also does mini-Rumsfeld talk in his real voice or higher pitched?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419726)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:53 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

higher pitched of course

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419750)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 10:00 AM
Author: provocative maroon institution

Yeah, I guess regular voice wouldn't make any sense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419794)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 5:36 PM
Author: Chest-beating business firm cuckold

Come on man think these things through

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423597)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 6:57 PM
Author: provocative maroon institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423996)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:29 AM
Author: adventurous flushed weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419372)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:55 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: You can partially control showers with your mind. You can't turn a shower on or off with your mind, but you can adjust the water temperature and water pressure with your mind once you are inside of a shower. If the shower has multiple modes, you can switch between modes too. Again, this power works only if the shower is on, and you are inside of it.

B: You can unclog any clogged drain or toilet just by pouring vinegar down it, HOWEVER while pouring the vinegar you must utter a statement considered blasphemous or offensive by the largest religion in the country where you currently are. Otherwise it doesn't work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419410)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water

B. the incantation is "all lives matter"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419424)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:15 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

unfortunately you must go by CIA World Factbook listings of religion

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419436)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 7:40 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419386)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:15 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: Just by looking at somebody, you can sense whether they'd be happier living in Chicago or living in Seattle. You see a little Space Needle above their heads if they prefer Seattle, or a little Sears Tower above their heads if they prefer Chicago. This works even if the person isn't familiar with Chicago or Seattle; so you could go into the jungle and meet an uncontacted tribe and still be able to sort them into Chicago people and Seattle people. It also works if they hate both Chicago and Seattle, it will tell you the city they would be LESS miserable living in.

B: Just by looking at somebody who isn't a doctor, you can find out why they are not a doctor. A creepy voice will whisper it to you, whisper things like "failed college o-chem" or "was afraid of debt", etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419435)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:16 AM
Author: blue degenerate round eye

Does A work on JJC?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419437)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:16 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

of course

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419440)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:39 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

LOL B

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419495)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:58 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water

B would just be a constant cacophany of "too dumb" "too dumb" "too dumb" for 99% of the people you meet

imagine walking into Bryant Denny Stadium and hearing "too dumb" resounding in your head 85,000 times, you'd go mad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419554)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:59 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

lol how was Auburn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419557)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 9:15 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water

Spring Hill actually

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419606)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 8:59 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water

A is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419555)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 12:40 PM
Author: concupiscible primrose sound barrier

B

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421297)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2020 5:34 PM
Author: Effete corner hunting ground

B

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423584)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 7:47 AM
Author: Sepia state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419399)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 8:30 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: Anytime you want to, you can enter a trance-like state where you imagine that you are Don Fernando, a gaucho living on the pampas of Argentina. You get to experience driving cattle across the pampas, eating enormous quantities of beef over a campfire with your fellow gauchos, even engaging in traditional gaucho games and dances. This calms you down. You can stay in this trance until either you decide you want to go back to your IRL, or somebody shakes you out of it.

B: You can kick an (American) football as well as a 25th percentile placekicker in Div 1 college football. This does not apply retroactively, so you only gain this ability at whatever age you currently are.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419470)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 8:39 AM
Author: copper multi-billionaire

Do the gauchos ever jerk each other off?

You know, just bros helping bros

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419496)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 8:57 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

The pampas are an extreme environment, where sometimes men must do desperate things.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419550)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:46 AM
Author: Citrine love of her life meetinghouse

Imagine surprising bros in a backyard game with your sudden 45-yard field goals

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419718)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 8:37 AM
Author: seedy point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419486)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:06 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: No matter what situation you find yourself in, you will ALWAYS be able to think of a quote or anecdote from classical antiquity (Ancient Greece and Rome) that seems apropos. Apart from this reactive ability, your knowledge of the classics remains at its current level.

B: Tomorrow night, a 1995 Ford Taurus will pull up at your front door. If you choose to get inside, it will take you to a Blockbuster Video in December of 1995. You will be able to select one (1) movie inside of that Blockbuster, and for the rest of your life you will have that movie completely memorized, line for line, shot by shot. You can't fight the hypo and stay in 1995, you need to return to your present day with a new-found ability to quote one specific film.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419578)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:09 AM
Author: seedy point

A gives you a much wider range, so A.

Not sure either is a superpower, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419591)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:28 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

A woukd make you a literal legend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419647)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:52 AM
Author: seedy point

Gonna do this with Shakespeare instead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419742)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:16 AM
Author: Drunken crimson whorehouse boiling water

A you would blow away juries and judges.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419610)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:27 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

A

Didn't even read b

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419646)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:41 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth

A isn't lame at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419695)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:51 AM
Author: Citrine love of her life meetinghouse

*enters Blockbuster*

*screams warnings about 9/11, Iraq, mortgage collapse, and clown world*

*teenage girl in plaid skirt says "As if!" to uproarious laughter*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419737)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 5:12 PM
Author: Lime stimulating mood locale

If I tried really hard I could just memorize a movie from 1995.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423426)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 7:45 PM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

Blockbuster didn't just have the latest releases, it also had classic films from well before 1995.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40424286)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 5:33 PM
Author: Effete corner hunting ground

A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423581)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:17 AM
Author: Sienna Mad-dog Skullcap Foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419615)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:23 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: You have what appears to be a broken stopwatch. But if you push the button on top while you are having an urgent need to pee or poo, it acts as a "snooze" button for your biological need. Pressing it once gets you 9 extra minutes before you simply must pee or poo, during which you will not be troubled by convulsions or need to cross your legs. Pressing it twice gets you an extra 9 minutes on top of that. Pressing it three times, alas, has no effect.

B: You have the power to summon the great scholars of the past. No more than once a week, you may summon the spirit of any deceased scholar and ask them one question. The question must be a matter of fact: you can ask them "who was the Emperor of Rome in AD 301?" but you cannot ask them "who was the greatest Emperor of Rome?" - though, of course, the response you get back may be a matter of opinion! The scholars know only what they did while alive, though they have had time to ruminate and possibly change their opinions in the afterlife. Also the scholars are always annoyed that they have been summoned and try to answer as quickly as possible and get this whole thing over with.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419632)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:36 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

That would be so amazing

I would rape so many greats

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419677)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:18 AM
Author: Citrine love of her life meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419619)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:34 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: You can coin nicknames for people that are just okay. When you coin a new nickname for a friend or coworker, everyone is like "yeah, I guess that works" but aren't amazed by it or anything. You can do this an unlimited number of times per day, but selecting this does not shield you from the negative social consequences of becoming known as that guy who is constantly giving people nicknames.

B: You can turn three of one kind of fruit into one of any other kind of fruit, so long as the fruits are of similar size. So you can turn three oranges into an apple, but not three grapes into a watermelon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419673)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:39 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth

Didn't A help George Bush become president?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419688)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:40 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

B

Convert regular pineapples into heligans, store grapes into ruby romans, cantaloupes into Yukari kings.

You could literally make millions forever

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419691)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:41 AM
Author: Citrine love of her life meetinghouse

B easily. Arbitrage with some of those exotic ones that cost thousands.

Even if you threw out the exotic varieties, you could probably become a billionaire just turning grapes into blackberries or something like that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419697)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 5:15 PM
Author: Lime stimulating mood locale

yea B. become an exotic fruit tycoon

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423453)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:33 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419664)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:50 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: If you look at somebody for 5 seconds (without anyone or anything interrupting your view of them during that time), you can sense where they went to college. However, you also experience some shoulder or back pain commensurate with the level of prestige of their college. At the HYP level, the pain is strong enough that you visibly wince in discomfort.

B: You get free access to premium Spotify, though every 4th song you play turns out to be some weird cover version instead of the version you actually wanted to hear.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419732)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:55 AM
Author: Citrine love of her life meetinghouse

XO autists insisting Cornell grad already had a slipped disc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419764)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:55 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

Lmfao u sick fuck

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419767)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 11:53 AM
Author: spectacular deranged garrison scourge upon the earth

A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40420919)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 3:33 PM
Author: curious trailer park nowag

A would be a liability - imagine being around a bunch of judges or something. You'd be in tons of pain while trying to maintain a conversation

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422529)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 3:41 PM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

I think there have been two occasions in my life when I was a room with more than one federal judge.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422578)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 9:47 AM
Author: provocative maroon institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419719)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 10:07 AM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: Once a day, you can cough up a one-day supply of any prescription drug. The drug comes encased in a plastic ball so it's not gross and is protected from whatever fluids and residues are in your lungs, air passages, and mouth. The coughing hurts you while it is happening, but the pain goes away quickly once you have done the deed. By one day supply, we mean the typical one day dosage of that drug for its most common use.

B: Every morning at approximately 7 AM you have terrible diarrhea. However, about every 20-30 days, your diarrhea contains 2 round trip business class tickets from the airport closest to your house to some random destination in Europe. The tickets are not guaranteed to be non-stop, you may have multiple layovers and some of them may be as long as 36 hours. The times are also not guaranteed to be convenient, the flights might depart at 6 AM or arrive at 5 AM local time. Your return flight is typically around 6 days after your departure, but you may have extreme cases where need to fly back 3 days later or 3 weeks later. The tickets come out of your ass encased in plastic so there won't be shit on them. One ticket is always for you, the other ticket is for whoever you were thinking about while you were shitting. The tickets are NOT refundable and are NOT transferable.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419829)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 10:14 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

A all day bro

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40419881)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 11:27 AM
Author: provocative maroon institution

Definitely A.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40420695)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 12:44 PM
Author: concupiscible primrose sound barrier

A and it's not close lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421334)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 1:20 PM
Author: big sanctuary water buffalo

B made me laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421634)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 11:21 AM
Author: saffron razzle hospital

lmao OP = bort treasure

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40420654)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 11:25 AM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40420677)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 11:27 AM
Author: provocative maroon institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40420698)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 12:28 PM
Author: amethyst motley stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421199)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 12:28 PM
Author: cowardly coiffed pit windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421204)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 12:32 PM
Author: High-end church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421231)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 1:53 PM
Author: Mind-boggling hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421825)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 5:33 PM
Author: Effete corner hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423576)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 12:28 PM
Author: cowardly coiffed pit windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421201)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 2:25 PM
Author: lavender zombie-like ticket booth puppy

A: You can speak fluent Sumerian, including words that modern-day archaeologists don't know about because they were not written down in any surviving tablets. However, you are illiterate and do not know how to write in cuneiform, unless you decide to learn how.

B: You can pick any THREE languages spoken anywhere in the world, and you will immediately speak them, but in a broken way with a bad accent: well enough that you can communicate with the locals if you visit a country that speaks that language, but not well enough that you can use the language professionally. You will never get any better at those three languages, no matter how hard you try. This does not impact any other languages you may speak now or may learn in the future.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422054)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 3:10 PM
Author: provocative maroon institution

B.

Im sure there is some way to get famous in academia with A but it would be boring af.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422342)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 5:16 PM
Author: shaky stirring old irish cottage pistol

a

would be an amazing connection to our ancestors and creator

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423460)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 6:56 PM
Author: cowardly coiffed pit windowlicker

B, so i can read some old philosophy books in their native tongues

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423993)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 12:36 PM
Author: concupiscible primrose sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421257)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 12:41 PM
Author: vigorous headpube

hehehe what are the u.s.a. and russia alex?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40421302)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 2:23 PM
Author: galvanic range

sprinted here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422046)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 6:59 PM
Author: Vibrant Tanning Salon

kekekekekekekeke

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40424005)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 2:18 PM
Author: amethyst motley stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422002)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 3:47 PM
Author: claret nibblets boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40422632)



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Date: June 15th, 2020 5:10 PM
Author: Dashing Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4560788&forum_id=2#40423417)