She is mostly nice and has gone from a 7-8 to a 4 post-kid. Slightly overweight, half her hair fell out, weird neck lines, doesn't take care of herself.

She bores the ever living fuck out of me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482177)

Having a mean wife is far, far worse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482184)

But she wants to do stuff together.

Today she said that "maybe on your way home spice things up by picking up food for a recipe that you can cook (keep in mind I don't cook). you'll have something to look forward to"

this was in response to me saying i'm bored out of my mind and feeling depressed

other suggestions from her: go do a return for her at the mall, pack up my car full of shit she wants me to take to her parents, give kid a bath, etc.

GREAT SUGGESTIONS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482215)

At the end of the day, you are very lucky that you are only bored and that she's not mean or something worse to you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482245)

isn't that a crazy low threshold?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482283)

just activities to pretend we're having fun

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40483160)

What’s her job/income and how much cooking / cleaning does she do?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40483192)

100% of cooking (dinner 4-5 days a week and we order in the other days).

20% of cleaning (maid does 70% and I do 10%)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40483785)

it sounds like she's the breadwinner and she's rightfully bossing you around

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40488887)

If you're just unhappy but can otherwise peacefully co-exist with your spouse, getting divorced before the kids leave home is the height of selfishness - you need to stick it out for the next 15 years or so, and then you can go and find some kind of happiness. if you're in this case, your best bet is try to make yourself love your wife by being nice and affectionate (fake it until you make it).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482214)

fuck me.

we're not screaming or cursing really. just getting very upset with each other and she occasionally cries as well.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482219)

If the kid is still a noob, understand that this is a really fucking stressful time for everyone and your wife may even be going through post-partum - it gets better as the kid gets older.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482234)

Bitch is going to progressively poison this kid throughout his life if OP allows his marriage to continue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482293)

Saying the worst things possible to each other.

I wish I was just bored. You sound like you have no clue how much potential for happiness you have.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40486215)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482243)

women lose their attractiveness after pregnancy and with age - is this new information to you? if not, suck it up. if yes, you're a moron

your wife is 180 and you will never be happy. just do everyone a favor and go EAT | PRAY | LOVE until you're miserable and alone again, and then =kill yourself

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482300)

2. what are his prospects as a late 30s man? models i'm sure lmao. and what is he going to do when the next girl gets old ugly and fat too?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482313)

Not every male is a balding obese laywer. Plenty of late 30s men can get attractive women...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482379)

It is very common in modern society. Man was not designed for marriage.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482392)

but in addition to that good morals/values (not a whore), very pretty and in shape, fun group of friends, successful for someone who didn't go to grad school (makes around 150k), nice and innocent.

didn't marry her for her intelligence but it's a trait i wish i more heavily weighed. i get so tired of talking to her because even discussing the most BASIC shit i have to give her elementary background info.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40483183)

Otherwise, suck it up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40482984)

what if she's pregnant with our 2nd? kill self now or later?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40483189)

your wife is at least a good person and makes money.

% of women over 30 with child(ren) who are intellectually stimulating (is this what you're looking for?) to your avg xo poaster is miniscule. and most of them aren't nice.

your wife is a not rich working mother. of course she's boring as fuck.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40483341)

People actually looking at dumping their child and wife are (generally) real people who are considering hurting the people that are supposed to be closest to them in their lives. It is far sadder than the shit in the first paragraph.

Also, I'm fine with "I'll never get married because marriage is scam" posting or "I'll never have kids because kids suck" or whatever. No one is actually harmed by that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40488908)

"a good portion of them are related to the groups they're calling to be genocided," he said without evidence. people here are extremely vindictive and have showed no compunction in trying to ruin other people's lives because they didn't like their politics or their race or whatever.

turd sandwich was sold a bill of false goods. if he wants to salvage the rest of his life, so be it. you can criticize him without being a moralizing faggot about it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40492456)

Link? This doesn't ring a bell.

"turd sandwich was forced a sold a bill of goods"

In what way? Did she tell him she wouldn't age or that she would always keep him entertained or what?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40492498)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40492511)

You need to communicate clearly with her. Go to your pastor or a counselor and work on righting the ship now before it's too late.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40486306)

we're seeing a therapist. 4 sessions so far. don't like her much and we've already spent $1000. will give it another couple sessions

so far it's felt like all she's done is listen to us complain. such a fraud occupation

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40486320)

you've gotten more than $250 in value out of this thread alone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40488902)

That's what couples therapy is. And it is a total scam.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40488979)

First, realize that you cannot control other people or outcomes. The only thing you can control is the action you take and the decisions you make. From now on, you're the only person you can blame for your situation.

Second, this is all completely normal. People get bored in marriages and having a kid takes a lot of the fun out of it. So now you need to figure out your actions and your decisions going forward.

Third, if you're depressed then you should get help. See a talk therapist and see if they recommend a psychiatrist. Here's the thing about anti-depressants: they work. You can try different medications until you find one that works and doesn't make you get fat or cause your penis to not work. Seriously, this should be your first phone call after reading this post.

Fourth, okay now you're working on your depression and you can start to improve yourself as a father and a husband. What type of father do you want to be? Your kid is watching you now and learning how to act, so you need to set the example for them. Imagine the perfect Saturday. What does it consist of? Write down those things and start making every day like that.

Fifth, you're upset your wife is getting fat and frumpy while she suggests you do things together. Hrmmm, you can kill two birds with one stone, friend. Start taking her and the kid on long walks after dinner every night. Take up bike rides together as a family. Join the Y and go to the gym with her while you get childcare.

Sixth, your diet sounds like it could be one source of your depression and a real man knows how to cook. Cook good healthy dinners for your family at least one night a week. Start simple with chicken and veggies, but eventually get to the point where family dinner is expected. You and your wife can take turns, which should make you feel more connected and more helpful.

Seventh, what were your marriage vows? How are you living up to them? Every day I ask myself, how can I be of service to my wife and I find one thing (usually more) that I can do to help her with no expectation of anything in return. It can be as simple as telling her she looks good today or running an errand with no complaining. But when I started doing this on a daily basis, it was a miracle: my wife became such a better person.

Eighth, by now you're working to create a happier self, a better dad, a better husband, and a happy household. Keep it going by practicing daily mediation or reading the Daily Stoic or some other daily practice that is just for you.

If you do this for six months, your life will change like a miracle. The mind follows the body, not the other way around.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40489071)

"Third, if you're depressed then you should get help. See a talk therapist and see if they recommend a psychiatrist. Here's the thing about anti-depressants: they work. You can try different medications until you find one that works and doesn't make you get fat or cause your penis to not work. Seriously, this should be your first phone call after reading this post."

Anyway. I think this boils down to why you married your wife. If you loved her then, you have to find that feeling again. Sometimes spouses get hung up on a thing-- she is gaining weight, he is not doing enough around the house-- and it festers and takes over your good feelings for your spouse. Remember why you got married. You loved her (presumably) and that can be found again (hopefully). Focus on the good and work to correct the bad. You have kids, so it is worth the effort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40492739)

But I agree with what you said. So much of liking your spouse is mental. Pick and choose what to care about carefully and if you don't mind then it doesn't matter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40493195)

Fuck.

No poaster should be subjected to this kind of torture.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4568493&forum_id=2,#40489155)