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"I have never felt this much sexual tension in my life" Sambo 5 mins before anot
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 17th, 2024 2:09 PM Author: Wonderful Church her chick walks by. This time, a double amputee. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590845) |
Date: April 17th, 2024 2:09 PM Author: fear-inspiring police squad wow. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590846) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:12 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band An older woman made eye contact with me and smiled yesterday. I've been thinking about her ever since. I love women. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590859) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:13 PM Author: Hairraiser stage Tell me about the fattest chick you've ever fucked (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590862) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:17 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band My first actual girlfriend was a fat bitch named Raven. She worked at a sex shop and we met online. We lasted three months. She was really boring.
https://ibb.co/wpB7sMC |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:19 PM Author: Hairraiser stage Beautiful painted eyebrows. She seems like a gem (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590879) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:21 PM Author: Wonderful Church Would. Did you fuck her in the ass? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590886) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:23 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band Yeah but she didn't like it. One time she stole from work this weird cherry flavored bullshit you'd spread over your pussy to make it more appealing to eat. Problem was, they fucking colored it red too so it looked like she was on her period. I didn't like eating her pussy not because I wasn't into it, she just smelled bad and had a huge labia. My other gfs never had that problem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590892) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:25 PM Author: Wonderful Church Sometimes you have to eat out your fat gfs beefy pussy. Right of passage. We've all been there and if you said you ain't you lyin. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590899) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:33 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band Truth. First time I ever fingered a girl I matched with this fat bitch on tinder. I was staying with my mother in a motel for some reason (legitimately don't remember why) and she drove out to the fucking motel. I went out to her car, made out with her, then fingered her. She was a virgin, unbeknownst to me, so she got blood all over my hand when I fingered her. I had to go back inside the motel room where my mom was, so I held my stinky, vagina blood-ridden hand up to my nose and pretended I was having a nose bleed. Not flame. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590921) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:36 PM Author: Wonderful Church You are some kind of deeply seeded mythological American legend. Like some kind of mentally ill modern day Huck Finn. They will write books about you. Consider stand-up comedy. You could be a straight Tim Dillon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590927) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 6:23 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band I've thought about doing an open mic but my problem is that I can't write material, I can only talk about shit that's actually happened to me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47591573) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 6:40 PM Author: Wonderful Church Bro that's all comedy is. You take your real experience and riff on it. You just need to make a few jokes about the real shit you do. You are one of the most profoundly weird people I've ever met but there's something incredibly entertaining about your foibles and exploits. You're naturally funny and you have the personality of a crypt keeper or mortuary worker. You're like a straight Jeffery Dahmer or something.
People get really nervous about comedy because they think they can't write. Everyone can write. You're either a funny person or not. You're funny, so you can write. If you have trouble sitting down writing jokes it's just because your creativity isn't flowing in that moment. That's why a lot of comedians "write" on stage. They test out half-baked premises and try to find the humor in it and refine it over time. Just go to a coffee shop and riff on your life man. You're going to suck at first but if you have the drive to be giga successful you just keep chipping away at it. I guarantee you there are guys making 6 figs in comedy right now who aren't half as funny as you they just had a big ego and wouldn't give up. Some "comedians" today are dogshit, are never funny, have no fanbase, and still make money at it somehow just by existing. If you dedicated yourself to it and got over the fear of failure you would crush. Just take a small risk go to some open mic where no one will ever remember you and start saying crazy shit into the microphone. LFG
If I saw you at an open mic talking about the stuff you normally talk about here I would die laughing and tell people you were a true original. Not flame. So get out there. |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 7:39 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band I'll tell you one more story that I'm not sure if I've told on here.
I was about 11 or 12 when I first started masturbating. I'm circumcised, so I had to use lube to jack off. I walked around my house trying to find something, and had a eureka moment when I spotted the bottle of dawn dish soap on the sink. I grabbed it, sat at the computer, and rubbed one out. This went on for a week, until the very top layer of skin and my dick and balls died and shriveled up, like a sunburn. I cried and cried about it in secret, because I thought I had somehow either gotten an STD or God was punishing me for touching my penis. I eventually figured out it was the dish soap.
To this day I still get an erection when I smell dawn dish soap. I pavlov'd myself into getting horny from fucking soap. |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 7:43 PM Author: Wonderful Church That's really not normal dude. Something messed up going on there. I am not a doctor but that is seriously fucked up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47591781) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 7:46 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band It wasn't painful. And it happened fifteen years ago. What am I going to tell a doctor? "Hey doc I was retarded when I was 12 and sloughed off my epidermis of my dick n balls like a sunburn, is this why I can't cum from sex?" Thanks for your concern though lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47591785) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 7:49 PM Author: Wonderful Church A doctor, a shrink. Someone get this man some help. Scyhb.
I'm just fuckin with you, you know I'm a fan. Maybe you should try Jewish pussy. Never came harder in my life. Maybe you should try it. |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:20 PM Author: adventurous trailer park elastic band Forgot to mention, she had a male friend that I paid to make this painting while we were still dating.
We broke up and like two days later they were dating. I wasn't even mad. I think they're still together, seven years later. |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:24 PM Author: Wonderful Church Your T was too higher for either of them. Nothing is lost. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5518793&forum_id=2#47590894) |
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Date: April 17th, 2024 2:22 PM Author: Wonderful Church Hot. Me too. I am in love with Cameron Brink 6'4" Norse goddess. May she slay all the dindus at niggerball.
I am also in love with FizzKidd tp who I understand less than a Chinese newspaper. Nevertheless I persisted. |