A gray mist hangs over the streets of SeaTTTle as Evan39 walks with purpose. He is clutching a small camcorder in his hand, talking directly into it as he makes his way through the city's less polished areas. His expression is one of a man on a mission, documenting his journey to his purported job as a grocery store manager—a position he claims to hold, though many on AutoAdmit suspect otherwise.

The streets are dotted with tents and makeshift shelters, the backdrop of SeaTTTle's infamous homeless crisis. Evan39's gaze darts nervously between the tents and the sidewalk, every now and then pausing to capture the "horrors" of the scene around him.

EVAN39 (into the camera):

(Whispering with a mix of concern and self-importance)

And that's my story here… for me, Evan39, the misunderstood warrior... on my way to my job, grocery manager, SeaTTTle… documenting the decay around us.

He pauses briefly to zoom in on a group of tents, shaking his head with a sigh.

EVAN39:

This is the state of our city… a city of tents… of freaks… all around. The maze, it just gets deeper and deeper…

He looks back at the camera, raising his eyebrows for emphasis.

EVAN39:

Can I take it? I'm trying. Okay, yeah, I can do it. (Nods to himself) Yeah. Why not? Why not?

He resumes walking, his steps deliberate as he talks, the camera bobbing slightly with each step.

EVAN39:

I've crossed the halfway point to the store. The city's given me all they have so far… I've stood up to it.

He stops again, turning the camera around to capture a particularly chaotic scene of scattered belongings and a haggard individual shouting incoherently in the background.

EVAN39:

I've had danger in the boat, almost got mugged, almost tripped over discarded needles…

He chuckles to himself, a mix of pride and apprehension.

EVAN39:

Yeah. The danger factor's about to amp up in the Maze of SeaTTTle… The Maze is always the most dangerous…

He continues walking, but glances over his shoulder occasionally, as if paranoid of something lurking behind him.

EVAN39:

(Whispering) Lord, I do not want to be hurt by a bear… Or one of these crazies. I do not.

His voice rises slightly as he shifts topics, as if thinking aloud.

EVAN39:

I always cannot understand why the other poasters don’t respect me for a long time, because I have really a nice personality…

He adjusts the camera angle to show his face, attempting to capture his best side.

EVAN39:

I'm fun. I'm very, very good in the... you’re not supposed to say that when you’re a guy, but I know I am. They know I am.

Evan39’s face becomes more animated as he continues.

EVAN39:

And… I don’t fight with them. I’m so passive. Bit of a patsy!

He lets out a nervous laugh, trying to seem unaffected.

EVAN39:

Is that a turnoff to poasters? To be a patsy? I mean, it’s not that I’m a total great guy… I'm a lot of fun and have a good life going.

He looks off into the distance, his expression turning more contemplative.

EVAN39:

I don’t know what's going on. I always wished I was gay. Would’ve been a lot easier, you know? You can just "bing-bing-bing."

He gestures vaguely with his hand, shrugging.

EVAN39:

Gay guys have no problem. I mean, they go to restrooms and truck stops, and they, like, perform the acts. It’s like so easy for ‘em and stuff…

He sighs, turning the camera back towards his face.

EVAN39:

But you know what? Alas, Evan39 is not gay. Bummer!

He straightens up, trying to appear confident.

EVAN39:

I love dudes! And guys… Guys need a lot more… need a lot more, you know, finesse and care, and I like that a bit.

His grin fades slightly as he continues.

EVAN39:

But when it goes bad and you're alone, it's like… well, you know, you can’t rebound like you can if you were gay.

He looks around the grim surroundings of SeaTTTle, shaking his head.

EVAN39:

I’m sure gay poasters have problems too, but not as much as one goofy straight guy named Evan39.

He sighs, looks directly back into the camera, a wry smile spreading across his face.

EVAN39:

Anyway, that’s my story. That’s my story.

He turns the camera off, puts it back in his bag, and continues walking down the street, navigating the chaotic maze of SeaTTTle, headed for a grocery store that may or may not know he’s their manager.

FADE OUT.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5593359&forum_id=2#48078981)