Date: August 5th, 2022 9:59 AM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
First place
He used to crash at my place for like a week straight in Providence without asking. He would get drunk and cry and knock things over and I would feel too bad to tell him to leave so I could work on finals. He would beg to know my dating/sexual history and then call me a whore (his post is objectively untrue btw) https://imgur.com/a/BqzRfNN . He only wanted to date me because my parents have money and I went to a good school. Relationships should be based on openness and honesty and he never opened up to me. I learned more about his inner thoughts and his life/dating history from reading his old posts on this site than I ever did in person. He was so insecure and sensitive that I felt like I couldn’t even take a few nights to focus on my own stuff by myself or else I would hurt his feelings. At this point, I honestly don’t think he ever loved me. I do miss his parents though. I considered breaking up with him at points because I wanted to date an honorable guy and not someone who so clearly is holding so much rage inside and who says horrible things about other people. Good fucking riddance. Next time don’t force your way into my life. I wish I never met you. When we first started texting in Dec 2019 and you used the term “prole,” I had to Google it to figure out what it meant (I didn’t assume it had any relation to “proletariat”). I wish I never started using this godforsaken site. Of course part of me still loves him but I would not want to date him ever again. He was the one who aggressively pursued. I actually remember describing him as “immature but sweet” to people when I first met him. I should have never given him a chance.
Edit: I typed this less an hour ago and already feel guilty for writing it. But I really don’t think he loved me anymore. I think he was good at acting like he did. The way he dealt with the breakup showed me that it was all fake all along and I wasted so much time WATCHING TV ON THE COUCH LIKE A LOSER when I dated him. I hurt him and he hurt me and it just hurts all around and I pray that God takes the pain away because I can’t do it on my own.
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:46 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
Ive never heard it used derogatorily in the 21st century. Only people who id find morally repellant would use that word unironically in casual conversation. Obviously I know what proletariat means.
Date: August 5th, 2022 10:13 AM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
Yeah I watched that video of them together soon after I met BP. I read all the threads and stuff about Sam on here and read about how bp met him and went to his stand up in Boston and was featured in it. It was easy to find the vid on YouTube. I never mentioned it to bp. It was strange seeing them both together when I had met and dated both of them years after that vid was taken.
Date: August 5th, 2022 10:16 AM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
I also learned all about his dating and sexual history, drinking habits, etc. by searching keywords like “ex gf,” “gf,” “girlfriend,” “drinks,” “drinking,” “alcohol,” “c*m,” etc etc. No one wants to know how much time I spent combing through thousands of states. I learned so much.
“Break up”
“Breakup”
“Dating”
“Dated”
“Sex”
Millions of sex terms
Terms having to do with family, food, school, etc. etc. I know about numerous of his past relationships and many of his sexual exploits from this site. He would never talk to me about stuff like that in person.
I also would put keywords into Google (and add “site:autoadmit.com” at the end). None of you would believe me if I told you how much time I spent researching him on this site.
Date: August 5th, 2022 11:42 AM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
It’s always so funny when ppl on here are like, “How do you go beyond pg 1 when conducting a 2+ word search on here?!” when it took me 0.2s to realize you just need to search the first word, go to the second page, then manually edit the url by adding “+SecondWord” after the first word
Date: August 5th, 2022 10:58 AM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
That wasn’t him then since BP is none of those things (except for maybe kind of a zoomer because he’s a few months younger than I am but was a grade below me and has many zoomer qualities but not in a bad way).
Date: August 5th, 2022 10:22 AM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
BP can do anything he sets his mind to. He has a heart of gold and I do love him. I hope he’s successful and has a beautiful wife and family in the future. I have nothing to worry about and I’ll be fine too.
Date: August 5th, 2022 11:19 AM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
No, it’s not at all. Not sure how you most of you guys can even manage to have relationships when you’re always paranoid that the girl you’re with is secretly pining for an ex. I experienced firsthand how destructive that mindset is. You can’t develop a relationship with someone if you’re paranoid and jealous. Bp never believed I loved him and he hates me now I think which I just need to accept. I’ve accepted it even though I wish we could be on good terms. I wouldn’t even be jealous if I found out he was dating someone else. I really do love the core of his being and I do want him to fulfill his massive potential and be happy. I couldn’t date him how he was while we were dating and at that point I was also too immature to be srsly dating anyone.
Date: August 5th, 2022 1:01 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
And I even feel awful making this thread because I wish we could at least be on good terms or apologize to/forgive each other and hug and walk away feeling at peace. I just want us both to acknowledge that we really did love each other. I just have to accept that is never going to happen, bury the pain and move on. That’s what he did. It does suck that we can’t even wish each other happy birthday or Merry Christmas or anything. My dad still gets letters from ex gfs on his bday and my mom doesn’t care.
Date: August 5th, 2022 1:59 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
Hey [bp’s name redacted], you know that the title of my post isn’t true. I don’t wish I never met/dated you. It just pains my soul that things had to end up like this, broken up or not. Im yearning for a sense of peace, closure and forgiveness that I know I’ll never get. I want to say that I treasure our memories together but I get the feeling you despise me down to my core and are trying to shove away/erase all those memories and me. In that case, I don’t want to treasure the memories either if he isn’t. It makes me so so sad to think that this guy who once saw the absolute best in me and really made me feel special/loved now hates me. I care about him too.
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:08 PM Author: frozen comical associate
maybe if you give it a few years of not shitting up his favorite board, he'll think about things like nice evening walks holding your hand or whatever. you'll never know unless you run into each other, but your behavior is not going to accomplish your stated goal and you know this.
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:17 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
I’ve seen him three times since last October (when we officially broke up for good, I saw his bumble profile which confirmed he didn’t actually wait to break up with me for good before looking for other girls like he promised me https://i.imgur.com/iGyYdzk.jpg then he suddenly blocked me a few days later on everything)
- November 2021- I saw him at mass with his family and I was sitting in the back alone. Right before mass starts, I excitedly run up behind him and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around and once he sees it’s me, his face goes straight/blank and he turns around to ignore me. His mom blew me a kiss and sister waved at me, which was really nice. I love his family so much. When it was time near the end of mass to wish each other “peace,” he turned around and smiled and waved at me for a split second which lit up my heart. So did his sister.
- November 2021- I see him at the weed dispensary after my gym sesh. I actually noticed his car as I was walking into the building and my heart froze. He was ahead of me in line and I tapped him on the shoulder and waved at him and we made eye contact and he gave me this weird smile as he rushed past me to pick up this order. As I exit the building, I see him basically speeding out of the parking lot. I just wanted to give him a hug and say hi. This was my best friend and we spent so much time together. I cried so hard that night.
- right before Lent, 2022. I see his car on the highway.
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:33 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
He was happy to be rid of me. He lost his phone in NYC the weekend after breaking up with me initially (he told me this in Oct) with all our texts and pictures and memories and he didnt even care. He treats me like Ive treated exes who Im disgusted to have ever dated.
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:55 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
More like because he couldn’t stop obsessing about exes of mine and was insecure. I hope he gets over that issue because otherwise that will be an issue in any relationship of his. I assure that physically, I am far from “blown out” :) not that it matters to any of you
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:12 PM Author: Seedy stain spot
Posting embarrassing stuff about him on the Internet (eg the part about getting drunk and crying a lot) is shameful and mean. You are a bad person for doing that to him
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:14 PM Author: Seedy stain spot
This is the difference between an honorable man (boner police) and a hysterical woman. He hasn’t said anything bad about her on here and left the board.
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:22 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
Yeah I took screenshots because I woke up one morning to see my bf (who was over my house the night before and kissed me goodbye and said he loved me) degrading me on a public forum and I didn’t know why. It was shocking to me but of course he called apologizing and I forgave him then we hung out that same day.
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:24 PM Author: frozen comical associate
has it occurred to you that he might have wanted to break up with you for a while (because you're psychotic, not just because you're a whore) but needed to work up the courage?
Date: August 5th, 2022 2:41 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
I am. It was better for both of us. I just wish I loved myself enough back then to not date a guy who tried to make me feel worthless and used at times. That doesn’t mean I was perfect either. I just want us to forgive each other and make peace.
Date: August 5th, 2022 3:02 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
I hate myself for making this thread too and know I’m a dishonorable POS. I just hurting so badly, I miss my friend, and I sometimes I just can’t keep everything bottled up.
I go about life and make the decision to be happy but pushing down these thoughts doesn’t make any pain go away
Date: August 5th, 2022 3:21 PM Author: Jade beady-eyed tank
No idea what you’re imagining my sexual past to be like but it doesn’t matter… Do you actually think I’d read your comment and feel bad about myself? Do you think I’d want anyone who thinks like that in my life? People throw rocks at things that shine.
Date: August 6th, 2022 12:02 AM Author: frozen comical associate
she knows she should feel ashamed but wants the positive attention. her justification is that some xo men are adulterous scumbags, but it's all just sad. no one thinks it's cute or impressive.
Date: August 5th, 2022 4:25 PM Author: Charismatic Crawly Elastic Band
You’re almost certainly not going to get what you want from this guy at this point, even if it’s just some retrospective validation. Best to drop it and move on, as you’ve been told dozens if not hundreds of times.
Date: August 6th, 2022 6:06 AM Author: aphrodisiac yapping philosopher-king rigpig
Believe it or not, I say this out of concern. I'm not trying to invalidate you or make you feel crazy. But have you ever been evaluated for borderline personality disorder? I hate to play amateur psychologist with someone on the Internet, but this thread seems like a classic idealization/devaluation cycle. Combine that with fucking a married dude and then poasting about it (knowing full well the abuse you were going to take)... Like I said, I could be wrong. But BPD is pretty easy to treat with DBT. And if that is what's going on, it could help you regulate your emotions and be a much happier person. Just tossing that out there...
Date: August 6th, 2022 6:15 AM Author: frozen comical associate
you're calling someone a lib for saying fucking a married guy then bragging about his credentials on a forum you knew would give you shit might be a red flag?
Date: August 6th, 2022 10:10 AM Author: aphrodisiac yapping philosopher-king rigpig
Well, even if I am wrong, have you considered therapy at all? You clearly have some unresolved issues related to this breakup, and talking them over with a professional seems like a healthier way to deal with it than poasting about (and enduring a bunch of misogynistic abuse in the process). It's your life, but I think it might help you.