If i were going thru this program there is no way that these series of interactions between us as kids would ever cross my mind to apologize for.

there is no chance we become friends and it doesnt seem like forgiveness is what he is seeking. so let it go?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48085518)

say a pray for your bro and be done with it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48085780)

Thank,

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48085530)

This takes no more than 5 minutes

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48085769)

3 paragraphs might be ok. 3 sentences seems fucking rude man "hey bro, didn't care about it then and still don't."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48085793)

Just say you need help with something and $100 would go a long way. They’ll Venmo you for sure. I have a buddy who did this to me and he’s done it to to other alcoholics. He was laughing at me as we walked to the ATM, “or if you think you can skip some of the steps you don’t have to.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48086727)

agree with other poasts and should tell him only $1000 will set you straight

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48086828)

If youre feeling particularly charitable, you could write a very short response thanking them for apologizing, mentioning that you didnt think their behavior was particularly egregious but forgiving them, and then wish them well.

Theres no right/wrong answer here- just depends on whether you want to do something nice for this person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48086903)

Wernicke-Korsakoff's.

I omitted details that must have been relevant. Again, this slight was a child thing, nothing to really consider. Maybe he felt it was necessary in his program to dig deep; maybe he really felt badly about it for a long time. Also, he wrote more than a note. He wrote a very long letter; it was a full page.

I'm going to write him back that I have fond memories of him .

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48093934)

Someone sent me a Step Nine letter.

ChatGPT said:

Receiving a Step Nine letter, especially if you're familiar with the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or similar recovery programs, can be a significant and emotionally charged experience. In the Twelve-Step tradition, Step Nine involves making amends to those you've harmed, except when doing so would cause further harm.

Here’s a general approach to responding to a Step Nine letter:

Acknowledge the Letter: Begin by acknowledging receipt of the letter. Let the sender know that you received their communication and that you appreciate their effort to reach out.

Express Your Feelings: Share your feelings honestly but respectfully. This could include how you felt about the harm done, your reactions to their amends, or how the letter has impacted you.

Discuss the Impact: Reflect on how their actions and their attempt to make amends have affected you. This is a good opportunity to communicate how their past actions have influenced your current feelings or situation.

Address the Amends: If you’re ready, you can address the amends they’ve made. Discuss whether you feel their attempt to make things right is adequate or if there are additional steps they could take.

Set Boundaries: If necessary, clarify any boundaries or limits that should be observed moving forward. This might include how you’d like to continue communicating or any changes in your relationship.

Seek Resolution: If possible, aim for resolution or understanding. This doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation but finding a place of peace regarding the past.

Consider Forgiveness: Depending on your feelings and the context, you might consider expressing forgiveness. Forgiveness can be a powerful step in moving forward, even if it’s more about your own peace than about the relationship.

Encourage Further Communication: If it feels appropriate, invite further dialogue. Sometimes, a conversation can help clarify intentions and feelings beyond what’s possible in writing.

Here’s a sample response to give you an idea of how to structure your reply:

Dear [Name],

Thank you for your letter. I received it and appreciate you reaching out to make amends.

Your acknowledgment of the past and your efforts to address the harm done mean a lot to me. I have taken some time to reflect on the situation and your message. I want to express that the impact of [describe the harm or situation briefly] has been significant for me, and I am still processing the effects.

I appreciate your attempt to make things right, and I recognize the steps you’ve taken to address the past. It’s important to me that we both understand how this situation has affected us, and I am open to discussing how we might move forward.

For now, I think it’s best to [outline any boundaries or conditions, if necessary]. I hope this can be a step toward finding some resolution.

Thank you again for your honesty and your willingness to reach out. I believe that continuing to communicate openly will be beneficial.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

This response balances acknowledgment, honesty, and the setting of boundaries. Adjust it as needed to fit your personal situation and feelings.

You said:

Okay. How's this for a reply: "Thx! Let's catch up over a cold one! Cheers!"

ChatGPT said:

Your reply is friendly and casual, which might be appropriate if you have a close relationship with the sender and if the context of the letter and your feelings allow for such a relaxed response. However, since a Step Nine letter often involves deep emotional content and a desire for reconciliation or understanding, you might want to ensure your response acknowledges the seriousness of their attempt to make amends.

Here’s a revised version that maintains a positive and casual tone while also recognizing the importance of the communication:

Hi [Name],

Thanks for your letter. I appreciate you reaching out and taking the time to address the past.

I’d be glad to catch up and talk things over. How about we grab a cold one and chat? Looking forward to it!

Cheers,

[Your Name]

This version acknowledges the letter and expresses openness to meeting up, while still showing that you recognize the effort they’ve made. It keeps the tone light but also respects the significance of their attempt to make amends.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48094244)

Thank them for reaching out, wish them well, and move on. Unless they murdered your puppy or raped your mom, there's no need for further intense discussion, withholding forgiveness, or establishing boundaries. Give them the grace you'd want if your situations were reversed and go about your day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48098120)

If the rolls were reversed I would actually want forgiveness. Do you want to hear the story?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48098256)

And yes, actually, I would like to hear the story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48098289)

1.5 years later I was able to come back to visit. he left town that weekend with my other closest friends just to be an asshole. I dont think his parents knew what he was doing.

I had a bunch of family to visit so it wasnt like it was just sitting there alone, so even though he was a fuck for this, it wasnt something that has bothered me for decades.

i can totally understand his situation though, and that decision to be a needless jerk has probably bothered him for a long time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48098870)

Seems like he felt bad for abandoning you and not valuing his friendship. The fact that he still thinks back on it decades later is significant. You're a good dood for sending him a letter.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594291&forum_id=2#48099322)