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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Domesticated volcanic crater
  04/24/15
...
passionate gaming laptop school
  04/24/15
...
mustard vibrant community account
  04/24/15
...
cocky main people
  04/24/15
did this today
purple exciting principal's office death wish
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Charismatic party of the first part
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
aquamarine arrogant codepig
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Razzmatazz pale hissy fit
  10/22/15
...
shaky station hunting ground
  10/22/15
...
Anal ocher round eye
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Aromatic Beta Ape
  10/22/15
...
Domesticated volcanic crater
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Razzle generalized bond market
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Domesticated volcanic crater
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Razzle generalized bond market
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Domesticated volcanic crater
  05/16/16
...
supple metal legal warrant spot
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Translucent chest-beating wrinkle sandwich
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Light Arousing Parlor
  12/28/16
...
supple metal legal warrant spot
  11/11/20
...
doobsian chad
  07/26/24
...
sienna kitchen wagecucks
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Domesticated volcanic crater

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: passionate gaming laptop school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: mustard vibrant community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: cocky main people



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: purple exciting principal's office death wish

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Charismatic party of the first part

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: aquamarine arrogant codepig

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Razzmatazz pale hissy fit

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: shaky station hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Anal ocher round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Aromatic Beta Ape

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Domesticated volcanic crater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Razzle generalized bond market

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Domesticated volcanic crater

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Razzle generalized bond market

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Domesticated volcanic crater

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: supple metal legal warrant spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Translucent chest-beating wrinkle sandwich

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Light Arousing Parlor

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: supple metal legal warrant spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: doobsian chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: sienna kitchen wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49414142)