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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/03/18
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
cream hateful people who are hurt step-uncle's house
  12/03/18
ty!
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Crusty national
  12/03/18
...
primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy
  12/24/21
...
bistre titillating gaming laptop jew
  12/03/18
...
Tripping Avocado Office Weed Whacker
  12/03/18
...
charismatic useless brakes
  12/03/18
...
umber passionate library
  12/03/18
...
Crusty national
  12/03/18
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/07/18
...
Irradiated Tank
  12/07/18
...
marvelous slate senate
  12/07/18
...
Confused green address mad cow disease
  12/07/18
...
Medicated bisexual heaven
  12/07/18
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/14/18
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razzle puce dragon
  12/14/18
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Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/18
...
bistre titillating gaming laptop jew
  12/24/18
...
vibrant nighttime queen of the night
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Bespoke Mauve Mother Pervert
  12/24/18
120
ocher school cafeteria
  12/24/18
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/18
...
ocher school cafeteria
  12/24/18
...
Tan bawdyhouse travel guidebook
  12/24/18
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/18
...
coiffed sneaky criminal prole
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Supple messiness
  12/24/18
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/16/21
...
Sienna Abnormal Range Doctorate
  12/24/18
...
onyx demanding fortuitous meteor
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Drunken plaza coldplay fan
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  07/01/19
...
bistre titillating gaming laptop jew
  07/01/19
...
bistre titillating gaming laptop jew
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/10/19
getting close...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/19
...
appetizing wrinkle giraffe
  12/24/19
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/19
...
Yellow floppy abode depressive
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
brass twinkling uncleanness
  12/24/19
...
Snowy vivacious spot rigor
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Supple messiness
  12/24/19
lol
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/19
This
primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
big carmine space becky
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/19
...
Laughsome chrome center toaster
  12/24/19
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy
  12/24/19
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/19
...
mind-boggling locale shitlib
  12/24/19
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/15/20
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/23/20
...
Claret alpha
  12/24/20
It's time.
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/24/20
...
marvelous slate senate
  12/24/20
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/16/21
...
Tan bawdyhouse travel guidebook
  12/16/21
...
Claret alpha
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/20/21
Lmao
Contagious rehab new version
  12/20/21
...
Beady-eyed saffron gaping
  12/22/21
...
Contagious rehab new version
  12/22/21
...
Odious Flesh Parlor
  12/24/21
...
primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: cream hateful people who are hurt step-uncle's house

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Crusty national

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: bistre titillating gaming laptop jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Tripping Avocado Office Weed Whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: charismatic useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: umber passionate library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Crusty national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Irradiated Tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: marvelous slate senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Confused green address mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Medicated bisexual heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: razzle puce dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: bistre titillating gaming laptop jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: vibrant nighttime queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Bespoke Mauve Mother Pervert

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: ocher school cafeteria

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: ocher school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Tan bawdyhouse travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: coiffed sneaky criminal prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Supple messiness

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Sienna Abnormal Range Doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: onyx demanding fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Drunken plaza coldplay fan

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: bistre titillating gaming laptop jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: bistre titillating gaming laptop jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: appetizing wrinkle giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Yellow floppy abode depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: brass twinkling uncleanness

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Snowy vivacious spot rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Supple messiness

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: big carmine space becky

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Laughsome chrome center toaster



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: mind-boggling locale shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Claret alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: marvelous slate senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Tan bawdyhouse travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Claret alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Contagious rehab new version

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Beady-eyed saffron gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Contagious rehab new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Odious Flesh Parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: primrose diverse turdskin really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538935)