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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/03/18
...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Slap-happy digit ratio
  12/03/18
ty!
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
beady-eyed old irish cottage telephone
  12/03/18
...
aphrodisiac karate national
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lavender place of business coldplay fan
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beady-eyed old irish cottage telephone
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fishy rambunctious center personal credit line
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Multi-colored theater stage
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awkward wild shitlib
  12/14/18
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sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/18
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lavender place of business coldplay fan
  12/24/18
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heady light roast beef
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Unholy stubborn site
  12/24/18
120
Bipolar useless brakes skinny woman
  12/24/18
...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/18
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Bipolar useless brakes skinny woman
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Wonderful bawdyhouse
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sickened underhanded national security agency
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Ruby stain
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Artistic gold tyvmft
purple whorehouse community account
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sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/16/21
...
Brindle appetizing people who are hurt area
  12/24/18
...
Racy Organic Girlfriend Dingle Berry
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Copper French Forum
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
sickened underhanded national security agency
  07/01/19
...
lavender place of business coldplay fan
  07/01/19
...
lavender place of business coldplay fan
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/10/19
getting close...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/19
...
Obsidian masturbator hairy legs
  12/24/19
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sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/19
...
costumed vigorous hissy fit idiot
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
sadistic tanning salon ape
  12/24/19
...
Stimulating messiness resort
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
purple whorehouse community account
  12/24/19
lol
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/19
This
aphrodisiac karate national
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
curious self-absorbed gaming laptop
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/19
...
dashing den gunner
  12/24/19
...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
aphrodisiac karate national
  12/24/19
...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/19
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Flirting Aromatic Principal's Office Indirect Expression
  12/24/19
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sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/15/20
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sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/23/20
...
sienna milk tattoo
  12/24/20
It's time.
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/24/20
...
Odious carnelian legal warrant
  12/24/20
...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/16/21
...
Wonderful bawdyhouse
  12/16/21
...
sienna milk tattoo
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/20/21
Lmao
jade tank theatre
  12/20/21
...
sickened underhanded national security agency
  12/22/21
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jade tank theatre
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vibrant genital piercing
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aphrodisiac karate national
  12/25/23
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FBI person
  12/25/25
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  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Slap-happy digit ratio

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: beady-eyed old irish cottage telephone

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: aphrodisiac karate national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: lavender place of business coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Glittery school bbw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343484)



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: seedy chrome trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343509)



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Lascivious stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: beady-eyed old irish cottage telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: fishy rambunctious center personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Odious carnelian legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Multi-colored theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: histrionic ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: awkward wild shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: lavender place of business coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: heady light roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Unholy stubborn site

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Bipolar useless brakes skinny woman

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Bipolar useless brakes skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Wonderful bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Ruby stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: purple whorehouse community account

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Brindle appetizing people who are hurt area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Racy Organic Girlfriend Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Copper French Forum

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: lavender place of business coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: lavender place of business coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Obsidian masturbator hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: costumed vigorous hissy fit idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: sadistic tanning salon ape

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Stimulating messiness resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: purple whorehouse community account

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: aphrodisiac karate national

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: curious self-absorbed gaming laptop

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: dashing den gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: aphrodisiac karate national

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Flirting Aromatic Principal's Office Indirect Expression



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: sienna milk tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Odious carnelian legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Wonderful bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: sienna milk tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: jade tank theatre

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: sickened underhanded national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: jade tank theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43659259)



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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: vibrant genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: aphrodisiac karate national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: FBI person



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538935)