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Hypo: one year to train for gladiatorial combat
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Date: July 10th, 2020 9:46 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch You will have 365 days to prepare to fight in a single 1v1 match to the death with an ancient Roman gladiator. Assume for the purposes of this hypo that on the day of the fight you will be transported back in time to the last day of the opening games of the Flavian Amphitheater and your opponent will be a gladiator who has previously won 1 game at a smaller regional venue.
To accept the offer, you will have to select one of the following six gladiator classes to fight as. Your opponent will be of the opposing class that is commonly paired with your choice, e.g. murmillo vs. murmillo or retiatrius vs. secutor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murmillo https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retiarius https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secutor https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thraex https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scissor_(gladiator) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoplomachus
You are not allowed to change to a different class if, let's say, a month into training you decide you are not that great as a secutor. You will be provided with historically accurate (as reasonably close as you can get anyway) replicas of all the necessary equipment for your chosen class. You can use your equipment in the real fight.
If you win, you are transported back to the present and receive 100 million dollars tax free.
For a reduced prize of 50 million dollars, you can choose to go back in time 30 days before your scheduled fight and use the last 30 of your 365 days to train at the famed Ludus Magnus gladiator school. You will be given special one-on-one instruction with a former professional gladiator each day and pampered in the Roman spas each night. You will also have the chance to scope out the arena beforehand and get the lay of the land. |
Date: July 10th, 2020 9:54 AM Author: dashing bisexual keepsake machete area If I win, am I transported back with whatever injuries I sustained or just returned to my normal health? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579076) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 9:56 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch You retain any injuries but will receive the benefit of modern healthcare. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579089) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:05 AM Author: dashing bisexual keepsake machete area Fuck it. I’ll do the $50 million option as a murmillo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579131) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 9:55 AM Author: orchid wrinkle home Secutor and I would demolish any slave gladiator in his day. Modern sport nutrition and weight training means I can be far more explosive and endure for longer than anyone from the era. They were all stunted and malnourished. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579087) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:00 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch if you are over 6' tall you will crush a twinkish retiarius (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579109) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:01 AM Author: orchid wrinkle home Great moniker btw. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579114) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:04 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579124) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:02 AM Author: Aromatic greedy range nowag those dudes spent 100% of their lives doing hard labor and worked for every bite of food they ever ate. they fought harder as kids than you could as an adult. their feet were so tough some didnt even wear shoes to FIGHT TO THE DEATH in.
you are weak compared. no modern person absent some sentinalese/bushman could compete |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:19 AM Author: brass magical pozpig people who are hurt This doesn’t matter. Spoiled medieval nobles beat the shit out of peasants for centuries. Smarter training , size and nutrition matter. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579514) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:29 AM Author: orchid wrinkle home Very very few gladiatorial combats ended in death, even accidentally. If someone did die, his stable owner was compensated immensely for the loss because the time and resources required to train a gladiator were massive.
They were the rock stars of their era and ate better than 100% of the plebians and most of the aristocracy, but nothing close to optimal based on the following 2000 years of sport science. |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 12:29 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch cr. Not unlike modern day pro sports, salaries were getting so out of hand for top gladiators that Marcus Aurelius set an upper limit on how much a recruit could be paid. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40580021) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:17 AM Author: know-it-all milky temple This. Dude sounds like one of those guys who is like "transport me back to the 60s I could beat Rod Laver in tennis bc I know more about carb loading" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615752) |
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Date: July 17th, 2020 11:19 AM Author: bonkers fuchsia idiot Cr
https://www.leeds.ac.uk/news/article/581/fitness_has_fallen_since_the_days_of_ancient_greece |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:03 AM Author: aggressive internal respiration pit yes, scissor
also everyone id be fighting would probably be shorter and smaller |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:09 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch bold (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579144) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:13 AM Author: Vermilion stag film boiling water Which one was Russell crowe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579163) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:17 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch hard to say because the movie didn't respect the RIGOR of the gladiator class matching system (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579175) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:41 AM Author: Vermilion stag film boiling water Are you telling me that documentary wasn't accurate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579281) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:46 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579312) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 10:56 AM Author: Floppy Brethren lol you’d be going up against a professional soldier who’d been training for this kind of combat his entire life... there are no modern trainers who work with these weapons so you couldn’t get effective training (fencing is completely different)
there isn’t a single person alive who wouldn’t get destroyed. |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:01 AM Author: Aromatic greedy range nowag (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579402) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:03 AM Author: Aromatic greedy range nowag it'd be like being dropped off to fight a hunter from sentinal island (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579409) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:27 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch you can get 30 days of training with an irl gladiator if you take the $50MM (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579557) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:32 AM Author: Floppy Brethren that would be immensely helpful and you'd be crazy not to spend $50M for that, but it's not going to overcome the skill deficit against someone who's had that kind of training each day every day for a decade (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579588) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:35 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch which class do you think would give you the best chance of survival (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579605) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 12:33 PM Author: Floppy Brethren Murmillo--can get an edge by focusing on conditioning and doping (training at alititude + blood doping + steroids would be a huge advantage v. natty gladiators). Sword + shield also seems less technical than the other fighting styles. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40580061) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 1:09 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch hmm probably cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40580371) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:19 AM Author: know-it-all milky temple yeah retiarus is probably the most technical bc you fight with a fucking fishing net (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615766) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:19 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615769) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:06 AM Author: Copper karate circlehead remind me again: do those fights end with death for the most part or they try to keep you alive after you are incapacitated?
i personally think it wouldn't work, but maybe could subcontract the job out to like a Giannis Antetokounmpo type. I'd just take a 10% commission. |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 11:08 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch typically, yes, death was unlikely. but in this case the fight would explicitly be to the death. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40579435) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 1:48 PM Author: Lime Really Tough Guy Gay Wizard "You can use your equipment in the real fight."
The loophole. Nothing says you can't modify your historically accurate equipment. I use a spear or some other shit with a long handle, hollow it out, and create the equivalent of a disguised sawed off shotgun. You have a lot of time to covertly modify your weapons and armor with modern technology. |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:00 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch don't fight the hypo. you can use your equipment as issued without modification. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40580813) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:05 PM Author: Rusted idiotic private investor *fires spear, misses*
*sees gladiator charge at you*
"wait time out!" |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:08 PM Author: trip parlor I’d jjst build a time machine and get a bazooka (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40580898) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 1:59 PM Author: 180 trust fund cool hypo. i would be interested in a breakdown of the different classes and why they were matched against others etc.
Like wahts teh different between the 2 heavy classes? Why would one heavy class fight a net adn trident guy and not hte other heavy class? What's the trope o the net and trident guy (fish theme?) How are they different than the different fast guy?
any scholarship? |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:04 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch the trident guy (retiarius) is a stylized fisherman fighting a stylized fish (the secutor or "pursuer/chaser"). the lightly armored retiarius was faster and more agile and relied on tiring his heavily-armored opponent. the secutor's goal was to close in quickly for the kill because the heavy armor and encumbered breathing from the enclosed helm means he would tire quickly. these types of asymmetrical pairings became more common later on as the games became more elaborate and sophisticated. gladiator matches lasted something like 10-20 minutes each.
early gladiator fights were usually mirror matchups, e.g. murmillo vs. murmillo.
the differences are subtle for the heavily armored guys, but in general they were supposed to be stylized versions of Roman enemies. for example, the hoplomachus was based on the Greek hoplite. the murmillo was supposed to resemble a Roman legionary. |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:05 PM Author: 180 trust fund v cool ty
so is it totally style based or did some classes dominate others?
re: hard to breathe thru helm, could you take off your helm if you wanted? whats the point of being heavily armored if your opponent isnt and its a hindrance? |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:06 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch not much is known about how or why certain people fought as certain classes, but in general they were roughly balanced.
interestingly enough, the retiarius is thought to have been slightly favored over the secutor based on some surviving odds published by gladiatorial bookmakers. |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:29 PM Author: 180 trust fund from wiki
The gladiator's lack of armour and his reliance on evasive tactics meant that many considered the retiarius the lowliest (and most effeminate) of the gladiators, an already stigmatised class.
In some battles, a single retiarius faced two secutores simultaneously. For these situations, the lightly armoured gladiator was placed on a raised platform and given a supply of stones with which to repel his pursuers.
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:31 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch would've been 180 to get to observe the rock throwing 1v2 melee (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40581129) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:21 AM Author: know-it-all milky temple there are re-enactments (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615774) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:23 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch those are pretty 180. have you seen them live or just online? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615777) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:25 AM Author: know-it-all milky temple online my life isn't that 180 |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:30 PM Author: 180 trust fund The retiarius's fighting style was another strike against him, as reliance on speed and evasion were viewed as undignified in comparison to the straightforward trading of blows.[16] The retiarii lived in the worst barracks.[17] Some members of the class trained to fight as Samnites, another gladiator type, in order to improve their status.[18] (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40581119) |
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Date: July 17th, 2020 10:38 AM Author: Lime Really Tough Guy Gay Wizard Today, modern retiarii continue to ply their trade at the Flying J. [27] (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40621769) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:10 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch i have never read anything about rules re: removing helmets, but i don't think that it was common at all.
the secutor's helm was intentionally fully enclosed with only small opening for two eye slots to avoid getting stabbed in the face with the trident. you wouldn't want to take it off.
also keep in mind the secutor's weapon was a shortsword significantly outranged by the trident/net combo. you need the armor to survive the push inward and also to defend yourself in the event that you become ensnared in the net. |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:07 PM Author: Rusted idiotic private investor hell yeah. I'd bring WWF theatrics to the ring and become beloved by the crowd. I'd show up dressed like a noble Roman patrician and the crowd would laugh, then I'd throw off my robes and reveal Carthaginian armor underneath (my heel turn) and the crowd would start booing while I do my signature strut and taunts. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40580888) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:13 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40580960) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:28 PM Author: 180 trust fund (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40581101) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:28 PM Author: trip parlor 180000000 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40581105) |
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Date: July 13th, 2020 10:58 AM Author: aggressive internal respiration pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40598892) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:23 AM Author: know-it-all milky temple OOH YEAH FRATER, AND THEN I STARTED TO SQUEEZE THE FERRUM (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615778) |
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Date: March 24th, 2021 9:48 PM Author: Fragrant Address Blood Rage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#42160105) |
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Date: November 30th, 2024 11:56 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#48395417) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:29 AM Author: Rebellious azure preventive strike dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615792) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:30 AM Author: cerise fat ankles stain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615798) |
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Date: December 8th, 2020 3:39 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#41508300) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:13 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615739) |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:30 AM Author: cerise fat ankles stain i think u'd have the best chance as a retiarus, bc (i) u'd have a trident, which has the reach of a spear; and (ii) u'd most likely be paired against a secutor, which wore really heavy armor and was prone to exhaustion
the strategy would be to spend the entire year learning the best way to run AWAY from the secutor by doing tons of endurance training + learn a few kill moves with the trident |
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Date: July 16th, 2020 12:31 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch interesting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40615801) |
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Date: July 17th, 2020 9:30 AM Author: 180 trust fund (the viper (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40621478) |
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Date: July 17th, 2020 11:21 AM Author: buff goal in life legal warrant https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c2/Mirmillon.jpg/800px-Mirmillon.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#40621976) |
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Date: December 8th, 2020 3:38 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#41508290) |
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Date: March 22nd, 2021 4:09 PM Author: crimson effete weed whacker market (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#42147311) |
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Date: March 24th, 2021 9:15 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#42159942) |
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Date: March 29th, 2022 9:30 AM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#44238689) |
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Date: December 28th, 2023 10:57 PM Author: exhilarant arrogant crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4580688&forum_id=2#47225124) |