A nose job would also help, but I think my nose would look smaller with a larger chest due to proportions or something. I'm sure the ladies over at Vindicta have some equations that back this up.

I know I have body dysmorphia. This does not change the fact that I can't have cleavage unless I touch my elbows together, or use one of those weird sticky bras from Temu. This does not change the fact that one of the last words my grandmother said to me was "you really have no bust" (i.e. my breasts brought shame to my family). This does not change the fact that I have been single for the vast majority of my life. A previous boyfriend used to call himself ugly (he kinda was), then look at me and say "well at least I have tits".

I tried gaining weight, and it helped a little. Previous BMI: 17.6. Previous bra size: 32A (men imagining an A cup, take your shirt off and walk to your nearest mirror). But now my stomach has this softness to it that serves as a warning that I've maxxed out my desirable fat distribution. I want to work out but I'm afraid of losing the weight I gained and finding myself back at square one. Eating more food is expensive, and I have a surgery to save up for.

"You shouldn't base life-changing medical decisions on the male gaze!" - girl who grew a D cup in the 5th grade and hasn't gone a week without a boyfriend since. I'm sorry, some of us are willing to give up a little feminism in the pursuit of not dying alone.

That being said, here are the actual cons:

-It would cost around half my life savings, potentially more

-I would have to quit my job due to the shame (I could NOT show my face in the office post-op)

-I may have to move back in with my parents (as a natural consequence of the first two bullet points), and I don't think they would view my decision as rationally as me

-I may develop that implant disease that leaves me more lethargic and bedridden as usual.

-May lose feeling in my nipples (honestly the worst con for me, but it's not like I've been using that nipple sensation in any productive way lately)

-Due to my sexless appearance, I've been pretty nonchalant with my personal safety. I'll probably have to stop leaving my drink unattended at the bar, or taking the train home by myself at 3am. I will have to stop being so chummy with men. A few of my male friends will probably ask me out after my operation, which will cause mild psychological damage.

-If I ever had a flat-chested daughter, I don't know how I would tell her. I don't know how I could admit to her that I couldn't bear to live with myself in my natural state. I don't know how I could confess that I saw myself as unlovable, and had to shell out $10,000+ to get two blobs of silicone surgically implanted under the muscle (the superior way to do it) to view myself as human. I don't know how I could reveal that I still believe that without the boob job, she wouldn't exist, because daddy wouldn't have fallen in love with mommy. That love is a condition contingent on having the correct inches, correct pounds, correct ccs.

I wouldn't want her to succumb to the same fate. I would want her to love herself. To circumvent this issue, I will be selecting my future husband based on the cup size of his female relatives, in hopes of their genetics overruling mine.

With all that off my chest (heh), here are the pros:

-I can wear strapless dresses without the sticky Temu bra, and not look like a 12 year old drag queen

-More people will want to have sex with me, breaking my not-so-voluntary 13 month celibacy streak

-My breasts will actually be complimented for the first time in my life

-Supremely better chance of getting a boyfriend, or a girlfriend who doesn't secretly hate me

-Honoring my dead grandmother

-Less likely to die alone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5561595&forum_id=2#47877684)

Go be mentally ill somewhere else, you crazy, sad whore

Enjoy dying alone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5561595&forum_id=2#47877709)

This actually will be my last post. Closing out of the tab on my phone from last night. This place is even more lame and unfunny than it was before I stopped posting for over a year.

Enjoy continuing to obsessively post about me in my absence. Probably more interesting than all the lame jokes and repetitive drivel on here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5561595&forum_id=2#47878264)

That's like what, 2 weeks in MFH?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5561595&forum_id=2#47880867)