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Clifford Chance associate steals 2006 XO shtick, ATL prints.

http://abovethelaw.com/2012/11/departure-memo-of-the-day-par...
Marvelous Site
  11/08/12
...
Marvelous Site
  11/08/12
2nd link doesn't work. Is describing daily routine a shtick?
carnelian digit ratio range
  11/08/12
Date: July 1st, 2006 7:42 PM Author: i wish i wasnt born ...
Marvelous Site
  11/08/12
Describing a daily routine doesn't seem like a shtick.
carnelian digit ratio range
  11/08/12
incredible
odious dilemma chad
  11/08/12
really great post no matter how often you read it
Bearded plaza
  05/04/21
...
Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew
  05/04/21
even Tommy Turdskin gets his 15 minutes of fame
aquamarine bespoke base
  11/08/12
lol tommy turdskin
Cream Free-loading Property People Who Are Hurt
  11/08/12
stupid female thinks she can have it all. realizes she cant...
concupiscible abode
  11/08/12
Kind of sucks though that women need to pick one or the othe...
impertinent hateful brethren
  11/08/12
the choice is not what she think it is. she can have a care...
concupiscible abode
  11/08/12
titcr
Copper university
  11/08/12
It's obviously significantly harder for a mom to juggle bigl...
impertinent hateful brethren
  11/08/12
my point is that nobody can have it all, not just women. ex...
concupiscible abode
  11/08/12
men certainly don't get a whole lot of sympathy for getting ...
impertinent hateful brethren
  11/08/12
bullshit. just that being a shitty father is more tolerated
brindle comical ratface stage
  11/08/12
Come on you can't seriously think that the difficulties are ...
impertinent hateful brethren
  11/08/12
after the maternity leave the difficulties are equal. why wo...
brindle comical ratface stage
  11/08/12
what are you talking about? you just admitted above that th...
Embarrassed to the bone organic girlfriend hairy legs
  11/09/12
Doesn't mean it has to be that way in your household. You ca...
brindle comical ratface stage
  11/09/12
and, given the social pressures that you acknowledge exist, ...
Embarrassed to the bone organic girlfriend hairy legs
  11/09/12
We live in a hypergamous world bro
brindle comical ratface stage
  11/09/12
Well, for example, most maternity leave lasts 3 months at th...
impertinent hateful brethren
  11/09/12
Who the fuck actually breast feeds for a year? Insane.
umber adulterous center
  11/09/12
The only way that schedule could work is if you were a singl...
Indigo razzmatazz skinny woman spot
  11/08/12
What a narcissistic shithead. It reads more like a full me...
vivacious stage
  11/08/12
wtf, why can't she put her hours in on time?
Primrose Boyish Corner
  11/08/12
This. I never got why some people choose to send ridiculous...
adventurous internet-worthy sanctuary weed whacker
  11/09/12
Wtf she worked an 8 hour day.
Chocolate passionate stag film
  11/08/12
...
Very tactful mad cow disease multi-billionaire
  11/09/12
...
aquamarine bespoke base
  11/09/12
There's something to be said for going out with a little cla...
adventurous internet-worthy sanctuary weed whacker
  11/09/12
no way everyone writes the same boring shit and says they ap...
Bearded antidepressant drug
  11/09/12
It's called "ring and run." No one is impressed b...
adventurous internet-worthy sanctuary weed whacker
  11/09/12
(managing partner)
impertinent hateful brethren
  11/09/12
...
Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew
  05/04/21
...
Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew
  05/04/21
180 bump
Cyan beady-eyed haunted graveyard mother
  05/04/21
TY
Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew
  05/04/21
...
Bearded plaza
  05/04/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 12:53 PM
Author: Marvelous Site

http://abovethelaw.com/2012/11/departure-memo-of-the-day-parenting-gets-the-best-of-one-biglaw-associate/

Original from 2006 archived here: http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1167064&forum_id=2#13574347

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000308)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:07 PM
Author: Marvelous Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000380)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:13 PM
Author: carnelian digit ratio range

2nd link doesn't work. Is describing daily routine a shtick?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000406)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:13 PM
Author: Marvelous Site

Date: July 1st, 2006 7:42 PM

Author: i wish i wasnt born

7:00 - wake up, jack off, shower, jack off again

7:50 - Buy bagel and coffee from cafe; dream of fucking the somewhat cute cashier girl who must wonder why I look so sad and depressed every morning

8:00 - Go into office, try not to look at old, fat, ugly, bitchy associate whose office I have to pass. God she is dumb too. Wonder what I have done in my life to deserve to work with such a stupid bitch.

8:01 - Log onto system. Check nytimes.com and stock market. Check two dozen useless e-mails, most of them from dumb ass junior female associates on the other coast who are stupid enough to send out email questions to the entire fucking firm rather than research it themselves. Wonder why it is that female associates send 90% of the dumbass e-mail questions.

8:20 - Start dreaming about fucking a hot bitch; will continue for most of morning. Wish I could close my office door and jack off.

8:30 - Start working on actual billable stuff even though I've been billing the client for my dreaming and surfing. Close door to keep out sounds of annoying fat ass secretaries. Wonder why anyone would want to waste their life being a legal secretary.

Until noon - Continue working on whatever, hoping not to be called by any other attorneys asking for help. If busy actually try to finish shit. If not busy try to waste time so I can bill more on the project and fuck over the client.

Noon - go out of office, walk down street hoping to see some hot bitches since all I see are ugly fat bitches in the office. Buy a sandwich, come back to office and eat it alone checking nytimes and billing client for the time

Afternoon - fat ass stupid bitch secretary comes into office for third time. Asks stupid ass question; wastes my time; I pretend to be nice even though I wish she were dead. Wonder why secretary can't write a cover letter without having to ask me a question. Wonder why I can't have a 22 year old hot secretary instead of a 60 year old haggy fat bitch.

4:00 - asshole senior partner calls me with "emergency" assigment that must be completed by tomorrow morning. I know fucking ass partner will come into my office tomorrow morning so I actually feel like I have to work on it. Wonder why this partner always calls me after 4 and always needs an answer within 18 hours. Dream of shooting him.

8:00 - somewhat finish assignment. E-mail partner with answer and hope he won't ask follow up questions even though I know he will. Input my hours into the firm's billing system. Try to double bill as much as I can. Try to "estimate" my time, being fair to myself of course.

8:15 - leave office, take taxi home that firm pays for. Buy some Indian or Thai food. Get home, surf net for porn. Jack off two or three times. Take hot bath. Jack off. Go to sleep dreaming of fucking hot bitch.

Repeat next day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=446186&forum_id=2#6119411)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000413)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:32 PM
Author: carnelian digit ratio range

Describing a daily routine doesn't seem like a shtick.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000537)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 2:11 PM
Author: odious dilemma chad

incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000767)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2021 9:39 AM
Author: Bearded plaza

really great post no matter how often you read it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#42397961)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2021 1:03 PM
Author: Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#42399210)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:15 PM
Author: aquamarine bespoke base

even Tommy Turdskin gets his 15 minutes of fame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000422)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:25 PM
Author: Cream Free-loading Property People Who Are Hurt

lol tommy turdskin

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000491)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:34 PM
Author: concupiscible abode

stupid female thinks she can have it all. realizes she cant and pens self important screed announcing her departure that nobody really cares about.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000552)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:39 PM
Author: impertinent hateful brethren

Kind of sucks though that women need to pick one or the other right?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000570)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:43 PM
Author: concupiscible abode

the choice is not what she think it is. she can have a career, but it can't be BIGLAW. this is true for men who want families as well. that's why like 90% of the partners in my former BIGLAW firm were divorced.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000594)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:46 PM
Author: Copper university

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000611)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:48 PM
Author: impertinent hateful brethren

It's obviously significantly harder for a mom to juggle biglaw/parenting than for a dad. Silly to argue otherwise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000619)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:53 PM
Author: concupiscible abode

my point is that nobody can have it all, not just women.

except women are the only ones up in arms about this fact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000646)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 2:07 PM
Author: impertinent hateful brethren

men certainly don't get a whole lot of sympathy for getting their asses kicked at soul crushing corporate jobs in order to provide the kind of money needed to support a family.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000733)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 1:54 PM
Author: brindle comical ratface stage

bullshit. just that being a shitty father is more tolerated

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000655)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 2:04 PM
Author: impertinent hateful brethren

Come on you can't seriously think that the difficulties are equal for the sexes here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22000710)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 3:03 PM
Author: brindle comical ratface stage

after the maternity leave the difficulties are equal. why wouldn't they be?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22001171)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 11:04 AM
Author: Embarrassed to the bone organic girlfriend hairy legs

what are you talking about? you just admitted above that the social pressures on women are greater. bad parenting is more tolerated when it's the dad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007029)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 11:47 AM
Author: brindle comical ratface stage

Doesn't mean it has to be that way in your household. You can split parent) duties anyway you want. I know BIGAW women with stay at home husbands. These men do nothing but cook, clean and take care of the children. It is all about the relationship you cultivate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007190)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 12:43 PM
Author: Embarrassed to the bone organic girlfriend hairy legs

and, given the social pressures that you acknowledge exist, do you think it is easier to cultivate a relationship in which the man is expected to be the stay-at-home parent, or the woman?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007547)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 1:01 PM
Author: brindle comical ratface stage

We live in a hypergamous world bro

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007661)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 11:26 AM
Author: impertinent hateful brethren

Well, for example, most maternity leave lasts 3 months at the max while women are encouraged to breast feed for a year. Pumping breast milk at the office and making sure you've stock piled enough just in case you end up having to work an 18 hour day is not something a man has to deal with.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007104)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 11:54 AM
Author: umber adulterous center

Who the fuck actually breast feeds for a year? Insane.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007223)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 3:01 PM
Author: Indigo razzmatazz skinny woman spot

The only way that schedule could work is if you were a single male and lived very close to the office. And had a bunch of bro friends who also worked terrible hours and could hang randomly at night.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22001162)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 9:45 PM
Author: vivacious stage

What a narcissistic shithead. It reads more like a full meltdown than a farewell email.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22003817)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 9:48 PM
Author: Primrose Boyish Corner

wtf, why can't she put her hours in on time?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22003844)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 8:35 AM
Author: adventurous internet-worthy sanctuary weed whacker

This. I never got why some people choose to send ridiculous, long-winded all-firm farewell emails. First of all, no one at the firm gives a shit and no one is going to lament this woman's life situation. Second, you're hurting your professional reputation with your last correspondence to hundreds of former colleagues. Farewell emails are not the appropriate forum for martyrdom.

PROTIP: When leaving a firm, don't send out all-firm emails. No one cares that you're leaving, it happens all the time. Send out a short email to the people you actually worked with and/or are friends with at the firm with your contact information, what your next step is and how you will miss working with these people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22006623)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 8th, 2012 9:58 PM
Author: Chocolate passionate stag film

Wtf she worked an 8 hour day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22003911)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 7:49 AM
Author: Very tactful mad cow disease multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22006601)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 2:31 AM
Author: aquamarine bespoke base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22006024)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 8:48 AM
Author: adventurous internet-worthy sanctuary weed whacker

There's something to be said for going out with a little class and style. All you need to do in a farewell email is thank your colleagues and give them a way to reach you in the future. Everyone she actually knew at the firm would understand why she was leaving without this whiny, self-important email that predictably would end up on ATL.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22006628)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 10:05 AM
Author: Bearded antidepressant drug

no way everyone writes the same boring shit and says they appreciated all the time together when everyone knows it sucks and they hated it.

speak truth to power

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22006803)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 11:50 AM
Author: adventurous internet-worthy sanctuary weed whacker

It's called "ring and run." No one is impressed by "speaking truth" when you're on your way out.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007210)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2012 11:27 AM
Author: impertinent hateful brethren

(managing partner)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#22007110)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2021 1:02 PM
Author: Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#42399198)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2021 4:38 AM
Author: Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#42397454)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2021 5:29 AM
Author: Cyan beady-eyed haunted graveyard mother

180 bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#42397477)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2021 9:36 AM
Author: Vibrant Hissy Fit Jew

TY

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#42397955)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2021 9:37 AM
Author: Bearded plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2108378&forum_id=2#42397958)