Date: August 5th, 2018 10:05 AM
Author: twinkling giraffe
Portrait of an Anonymous Loser as a Young Man (Friendlybum)
Hypothesis: The essential characteristics of the Cliqueless Loser are struggle and disappointment.
During very young childhood a child's peers are defined by their parents and caretakers, so that other children are often forced to associate with a Cliqueless Loser during playdates and park activities and while they wish to eject him from their group, sensing his Cliqueless nature, they cannot because their caretakers encourage them to "share" and "be social" in Preparation for their lives as members of a Clique where they will look out for and aid their fellow Clique members.
The Loser thus does not become aware of his Loser status in its true form until the age when children get to select their own playmates and social peers. In Third grade he expects that Sally Jenkins, whose Nerd mom is friends with HIS Nerd mom, will invite him to her birthday party along with the rest of the class only to find that no invitation is forthcoming and when he asks Sally about it she openly mocks him to the great amusement of all others in the area. He is hurt and disappointed but believes this to be an anomaly in his life and is disappointed again when he does not receive an invitation from Brad or Jerry, and when Mike's mom forces Mike to invite him he finds himself shunned and alone while the others play.
The Loser buries himself in media and goes to adults for help where he receives the same message, things are tough now but you will grow out of it. The third grade Loser is the 6th grade winner. He believes this for a time, and does see others move up and down in the social strata, but ultimately, if he is smart, he figures out to his crushing disappointment that some are stuck at the bottom and cannot rise no matter their efforts. He holds out hope for reinventing himself in high school and then in college but fails miserably both times because of his natural limitations and the nature of the Cliques.
He will struggle to find a place and be disappointed. He will struggle to achieve like a Jock or a Nerd and be disappointed when he inevitably fails. He will struggle to be carefree and easygoing like a Scumbag but his Loser nature will leave him anxious and, of course, disappointed by his failure.
For the rest of his life, then, the Loser continues futilely to chase a dream he can never reach. Things never come easily to him because he has no lane to stay in. While the other Cliques find their stride the Loser attempts to emulate them to no success. The Nerd enjoys studying and finds it easy. The Loser must spend agonizing hours poring over books to get good grades only to find that they are not rewarded because it is not the grades that get the Nerd hired, the grades and the job are both mere side effects of his being a good Nerd. The Jock enjoys working out and sees significant results, while the Loser spends hateful mornings trying to get in shape only to tweak a muscle or break a bone, setting him back to square one. Even Scumbags can find their place, since they have the ability to ascend to High Prole and become a prosperous plumber or electrician and live a happy life. The Loser can also become a plumber, but he will be the plumber nobody else wants to work with and nobody wants to hire twice, eking out a pitiful plumber existence.
Every time the Loser tries to find a place or a lane he is smashed back out of it and back into his proper place. This leads to a life of failure and disappointment. Nothing comes easy, nothing is stable, and there is no sense of security or belonging.
The saddest thing is if a Loser impregnates a woman while masquerading as be-Cliqued. The child will either be another Loser or will be a Cliqued child that the Loser will pour all of his hopes and dreams into only to find himself rejected by the child when it matures (how many kids don't visit or really acknowledge their Loser dad even though he tried his hardest to be a good father, while instead favoring their Nerd stepfather who they consider their 'real dad'?) or his genes will express themselves in another Loser and he will have to experience the pain of vicarious disappointment and knowing the horrible fate that awaits his Loser son.
What must it be like for a Loser dad sitting alone in the bleachers watching his Loser son's little league teammates taunt or ignore him? That must be very close to hell on earth.
Anyway, anyone can be poor or fat or unlucky but only the Loser can try his hardest every time and receive nothing but disappointment. He is a mule with a carrot dangled in front of his face by a rider on his back, walking ever forward but getting no cLoser to reward. He is a mole in whack a mole, always rising and being smashed back into place by the world. Yet he cannot accept his lot (no lane) so he must constantly be struggling and constantly be disappointed.