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Date: April 15th, 2020 11:41 AM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant Are really underrated, i especially love their jokes
Randy |
Date: April 15th, 2020 11:42 AM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant I don’t know about you guys but we are only a few weeks into self-isolation and it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
It breaks my heart to see her like this. I have thought very hard about how I can cheer her up. I have even considered letting her in - but rules are rules.
Carl |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 11:43 AM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."
Bill |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 11:46 AM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale.
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Date: April 15th, 2020 11:47 AM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
Pete |
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Date: August 15th, 2020 6:55 PM Author: talented judgmental fortuitous meteor Great post!
— Bill
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Date: April 15th, 2020 11:53 AM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant cop vs lawyer He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education than any Irish cop.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense.
Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What for?"
Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a com- plete stop. License and registration, please"
London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye havte come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle. The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down?"
😂 aint it true lads
Nigel |
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Doug
__________________ Freedom of the Seas Dec 19 Allure of the Seas: Jan 19 Voyager of the Seas: May 18 Splendour of the Seas: May 17 Explorer of the Seas: Jan 16 Majesty of the Seas Jan 15 |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 12:28 PM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant Knute and three of his buddies have gone ice fishing every Saturday during the winter for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are ice fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Knute lays down his rod, steps out of the fish house, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Knute sits down, puts his hat on and drops his line without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of em finally speaks up and says, “that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by.” Knute replied, “It seems the least I could do seeing as how I’ve been married to the woman for over forty years!”
Ken |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 12:36 PM Author: black property (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40019686) |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 4:11 PM Author: Opaque Elite Macaca Sweet Tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40021258) |
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Date: April 16th, 2020 12:27 PM Author: Stirring Resort Roommate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40027129) |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 12:29 PM Author: razzmatazz pontificating kitty 180.
Kirby |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 2:22 PM Author: curious domesticated nursing home karate I agree with WSJ on this one!
Dan's Wife |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 2:24 PM Author: appetizing multi-billionaire trailer park (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40020539) |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 5:23 PM Author: Infuriating Geriatric Newt New Version (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40021869) |
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Date: April 16th, 2020 8:17 AM Author: contagious theatre (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40025684) |
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Date: April 16th, 2020 12:35 PM Author: Rusted fantasy-prone wrinkle Husband: "Hey honey I just won the lottery! Get dressed and pack your bags!"
Wife: "Oh my god, that's great where are we going?"
Husband: "I don't know, but I want you gone in an hour."
Larry |
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Date: April 16th, 2020 4:56 PM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40029333) |
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Date: April 16th, 2020 4:58 PM Author: Opaque Elite Macaca Sweet Tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40029357) |
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Date: August 15th, 2020 6:00 PM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#40761312) |
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Date: January 25th, 2022 3:04 PM Author: fighting vivacious immigrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4509673&forum_id=2#43845351) |