\
  The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
BackRefresh Options Favorite

Norm MacDonald joke transcribed poorly from memory

this is from the end of the Norm MacDonald Live episode with...
Vigorous pink heaven karate
  09/14/21
...
Vigorous pink heaven karate
  09/17/21
He did a little better version on Howard Stern here: https:/...
Aquamarine frozen internal respiration
  09/17/21
...
Disgusting bbw
  09/17/21
lol was that the episode where they talked about Jimmy Savil...
Carmine Talking Boltzmann
  09/17/21
same one. norm also broke out "real jerk" and a bu...
Vigorous pink heaven karate
  09/17/21
600 or 6 million, it's still a tragedy
internet-worthy brunch
  09/17/21
"i say 6 million, you say 600" lol merchant wa...
Vigorous pink heaven karate
  09/17/21
i have this exact clip downloaded. not sure how to upload wi...
free-loading national
  09/17/21
Good call. Gonna do that now.
Carmine Talking Boltzmann
  09/17/21
Are there any anonymous video sites?
Domesticated Charcoal Hissy Fit Crotch
  09/17/21
...
Disgusting bbw
  09/17/21
Why would Netflix buy the rights and then remove it everywhe...
coral den macaca
  09/17/21
Lol if you think profits matter anymore
glassy vengeful windowlicker
  09/17/21
not very funny imho
appetizing location
  09/17/21
Full episode: https://vimeo.com/455400427
awkward bawdyhouse police squad
  09/17/21
whoa fuck yeah ty bro
Vigorous pink heaven karate
  09/23/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 14th, 2021 5:40 PM
Author: Vigorous pink heaven karate

this is from the end of the Norm MacDonald Live episode with Stephen Merchant, which is without exaggeration the funniest thing I've ever seen. netflix bought the rights and took it down everywhere when norm got his netflix show. He had been fucking with Merchant the whole episode, says something to the effect of "Let's finish on a high note," and tells this joke.

when my nephew johnny was in first grade, his teacher asked the class to share some stories they had heard and what the message of the story was. little suzy put up her hand to go first. "my dad works at the hatchery. his job is to bring the eggs from the farms to the hatchery to grow into chickens. one day, he overloaded the egg bucket in his truck. when the truck hit a bump in the road, the bucket fell over and all the eggs broke."

"and what is the message from the story?"

"the message of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket."

"very good, suzy. who would like to go next?" young jane merriwether put up her hand. "go ahead jane."

"my dad also works at the hatchery." most of the adults in town worked at the hatchery. thank god for the hatchery.

"he's an accountant. not long after he first started, he made a mistake. he told the store in town how many chickens they could have based on the number of eggs at the hatchery. but not all of the eggs hatched, and the hatchery didnt have enough chickens for the store."

"and what was the message of that story Jane?"

"don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"very good, Jane. who's next, class?"

My nephew put up his hand. The teacher didn't want to call on him. He was a rough boy. His daddy didn't work at the hatchery. But no one else would put up their hand. Finally the teacher said "Go ahead john."

"well maam, this is a story about my uncle terry. when he was just a young man, he got a football scholarship to the big school in state. he was going to be the first one in our family to go to college. but just before he was supposed to go off to play football, he got drafted to the infantry in viet nam."

"well terry was fast, and he was strong, and he was mean. and he was bitter. and he was sent to kill, and by god he came to find he was good at it. uncle terry was so good at killing they put him in a special unit. but the more he killed, the worse he got. and he got to drinking. the other men in his unit - boys, really - didn't like terry. and terry got so bad he wasn't just killing men any more. it got so terry was killing women, children, even babies."

"and so one night, the men in terry's unit had had enough. and while terry slept, they left him alone in the jungle, with just his weapons and his whiskey.

when terry woke up he howled with rage. he drank all the whiskey he had left, enough to last the unit a month, and went looking for the men that had betrayed him. but instead, he came upon a town. all the men were off fighting, but terry lined up all the old people, all the women, all the children, and all the babies. and then terry started shooting. and shooting. he killed them all, one by one, howling and screaming, as his boots filled with the blood and the brains and the guts of the innocent."

"...my god johnny. what an awful story. what could possibly be the message of a story like that?"

"maam, when uncle terry's been drinking, you don't fuck with him."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43116572)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:03 PM
Author: Vigorous pink heaven karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134261)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:10 PM
Author: Aquamarine frozen internal respiration

He did a little better version on Howard Stern here: https://youtu.be/YcUKMO27yKY?t=348

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134284)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:36 PM
Author: Disgusting bbw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134361)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:25 PM
Author: Carmine Talking Boltzmann

lol was that the episode where they talked about Jimmy Savile and Norm kept pronouncing it like "Seville" and Stephen Merchant told Norm to stop making him seem so fancy?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134324)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 11:34 PM
Author: Vigorous pink heaven karate

same one. norm also broke out "real jerk" and a bunch of other classics. i would pay good money to watch those again, hope netflix sells it or distributes it again somehow.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43135097)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:26 PM
Author: internet-worthy brunch

600 or 6 million, it's still a tragedy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134331)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 9:50 PM
Author: Vigorous pink heaven karate

"i say 6 million, you say 600"

lol merchant was dying inside

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134641)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: free-loading national

i have this exact clip downloaded. not sure how to upload with out outting myself

you guys need to start downloading any worthwhile clips before they're taken down for whatever bullshit reason

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134339)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:37 PM
Author: Carmine Talking Boltzmann

Good call. Gonna do that now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134366)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:48 PM
Author: Domesticated Charcoal Hissy Fit Crotch

Are there any anonymous video sites?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134394)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:36 PM
Author: Disgusting bbw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134363)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 8:39 PM
Author: coral den macaca

Why would Netflix buy the rights and then remove it everywhere?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134373)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 9:25 PM
Author: glassy vengeful windowlicker

Lol if you think profits matter anymore

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134547)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 9:43 PM
Author: appetizing location

not very funny imho

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43134623)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2021 11:50 PM
Author: awkward bawdyhouse police squad

Full episode: https://vimeo.com/455400427

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43135137)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 23rd, 2021 11:55 PM
Author: Vigorous pink heaven karate

whoa fuck yeah ty bro

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4921714&forum_id=2#43168134)