https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2021/12/22/dont-feel-ashamed-for-getting-covid/

Aline is part of a rapid uptick in cases in the United States. As two variants collide and states hit new records daily, breakthrough cases are becoming more normal and less of an exception; the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns these cases are now “likely” to occur. For many people who test positive during this latest surge, the virus is sparking yet another unpleasant feeling in an ordeal that’s churned out plenty: shame.

“There’s been this large narrative about the importance of controlling your actions to prevent yourself from getting sick, and from transmitting the illness to other people,” says Jessica Stern, a clinical psychologist at NYU Langone Health. “Because the narrative is so closely connected to our behaviors, I think there’s this implication, or this assumption, that if you get sick, you must have done something wrong to bring it onto yourself.” That’s not true, she stresses, “but unfortunately it’s inherent in the way we’ve been thinking about and talking about covid.” That can lead to shame, which Stern defines as “the combination of embarrassment or guilt and identity — one of the most visceral emotions.”

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Health officials have stressed that it’s crucial to be fully vaccinated and boosted, and to get tested frequently. But even those safeguards aren’t a guarantee against infection: For the week ending Dec. 11, Massachusetts, one of the most highly vaccinated states with 74 percent fully immunized, reported 11,431 breakthrough infections, about 37 percent of its total new positive cases. Sports leagues are canceling games due to outbreaks among vaccinated players, and “Saturday Night Live” scrapped its most recent show because of fears about the virus.

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“It’s important to understand that with the omicron variant, we’re facing a virus that is more transmissible than delta, and in turn delta more transmissible than alpha and so forth,” says Peter Hotez, dean of the National School of Tropical Medicine at Baylor College of Medicine. Some people have misunderstood the role vaccines play in preventing illness, believing that they protect against any and all infection. That’s not the case. As Hotez points out, just two to three months after getting the Pfizer booster, protection against symptomatic infection from omicron drops from around 70-75 percent to 30-40 percent. “The bottom line is that getting infected with omicron could now happen to anyone,” he says.

The sense of shame that can come with a coronavirus diagnosis isn’t surprising, says Lynn Bufka, a senior director at the American Psychological Association and a practicing licensed clinical psychologist in Maryland. “Shame has a history of being connected to various health diagnoses,” she says, such as HIV and even, for decades, cancer. “It comes from thinking that you’re being seen and judged by others, and gosh, look around. The reality is that there’s a lot of judging about people who have covid, so it’s understandable that they might feel some shame.”

Bufka follows the FacesOfCOVID Twitter account, which shares photos of and stories about those lost to the virus. “It makes me cry almost every single time because these are somebody's loved ones who died,” she says. Yet it’s easy to start wondering: Was that person vaccinated? How and why did they get sick? Bufka reminds herself: “That’s not the point. The point is, somebody had a really terrible illness, and they died from it.”

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Kelly Michelson, an attending physician at the Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago and director of the Center for Bioethics and Medical Humanities at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, often takes care of patients who get sick for reasons they theoretically could have prevented. “My place is to just see the patient and help the patient, and not make assumptions about why people make certain choices in their lives,” she says, which is helpful advice to anyone who might judge others who test positive for the coronavirus. Doing so would be “making an assumption about some things that we just don’t know,” she says.

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Feeling ashamed about getting covid-19 isn’t healthy or helpful, experts agree. Here are some tips on how to clamp down on those feelings.

Acknowledge it. “As a psychologist, we’re going to tell people: Acknowledge the emotion,” Bufka says. “Try to recognize what it is. We know we’re in an environment right now where there’s a lot of judgment,” and it makes sense that you might be feeling, well, mortified at the idea that others will think you behaved carelessly.

Sue Varma, a psychiatrist in New York, suggests tapping into some self-awareness about where the shame is coming from: Do you have perfectionist standards? Or was staying healthy your way of regaining control during an impossibly trying stretch of time? Reflecting on the reasons you feel ashamed can help you come to terms with the emotion and, ultimately, move past it.

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Set it aside in favor of proper health protocols. Research indicates that shame often prevents people who have HIV from disclosing all the relevant facts — to their partners, for example. Bufka says it’s reasonable to believe the same thing is playing out now: “It can prevent people from getting the health care that they need, or telling their contacts” about the potential exposure, which is concerning. She urges those who have tested positive for the coronavirus to focus on “what behavior is going to be best for your health, and for the people around you.”

That said, don’t over-explain the situation. If you’re ashamed of your coronavirus diagnosis, you might be tempted to over-explain it to others, Stern says — and “maybe even be preemptively defensive,” immediately telling people who didn’t ask that you had taken safety protocols seriously. As much as possible, avoid the urge. Stern suggests framing any explanation in a short, lighthearted manner: “I’m super careful, but it got me!”

Consider it a learning experience. “I hate to say we’re in this for the long run, but this is like a long game here,” Varma says. In many cases, getting covid might have happened despite extreme caution — she knows someone whose daughter recently contracted the virus from her school bus driver, for example. But perhaps, in your desperation to return to normal life, you’ve been less than careful. In that case, see what you can learn from the experience. As Varma puts it: “Maybe not going to the nightclubs anymore, right?”

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Or perhaps you don’t wear a mask often. Use this as an opportunity to create a strategy you can use going forward, Bufka suggests: Go online and order a whole bunch of masks, and then “put them everywhere” — in your car, in your purse, in a coat jacket, on the table where you set your keys and mail. And, of course, if you haven’t yet gotten vaccinated or have delayed seeking out a booster shot, go do so, Bufka says.

Keep in mind that you can’t control what others do or think. “There are some people who are going to act like jerks, and we all have to live with that,” says Jonathan S. Abramowitz, a professor of psychology in the University of North Carolina clinical psychology program. “See it for what it is. By all means, don’t say, ‘Well, this person is making me feel ashamed, so therefore they’re right and I should feel ashamed.’” And if your friends are making you feel bad about your diagnosis, perhaps it’s time to reconsider the company you keep, Abramowitz says.

Practice self-compassion. Perhaps easier said than done, but it’s important, especially given that you’re also dealing with a serious virus. First, if you’re ruminating over everything you wish you had done differently, flip your perspective and consider: “It could be that you’re very diligent and very conscientious, and that’s why you’re taking this so hard,” Varma says. “That just means you’re a thoughtful, considerate, caring human being trying really, really hard.”

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As Bufka points out, second-guessing ourselves isn’t productive. Did you forget to wear your mask that one time at the grocery store? Should you have canceled dinner with friends? It’s a moot point by now. “I’ve lived long enough to know that reliving things I did in the past, and trying to figure out a better way to have done them, rarely changes those events,” she says.

Remember: You’re not a failure. “Millions of other people have gotten sick,” Varma says. “Unfortunately, you’re not alone. You’re not the only one. You’re not the first one to get covid, and you won’t be the last.” And that positive test, she reiterates, “doesn’t make you an irresponsible person.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43704860)

In reality - breakthrough infections are increasing at such a significant rate with Omicron where it is now not feasible for the media to continue to peddle the narrative that breakthroughs are a true rarity and the domain of the unvaccinated masses.

In the past month, a huge number of my friends and family have been infected with Covid - one thing is common to all of them: They have been vaccinated and/or boosted. All of the infections I have heard about have come from those who have been vaccinated/boosted.

In light of this obvious reality that is growing inevitable, people who are vaccinated/boosted and who get Covid are growing despondent because their blood sacrifice (months/years off their life expectancy via side effects and reactions to the vaccine) was not enough and the totemic protection they expected to receive from their futile measures and the sense of superiority they relished so briefly when compared to unvaccinated is now rapidly giving way to the unpalatable reality that they are as vulnerable if not more vulnerable.

I feel like in some ways I am one of those post-apocalyptic survivors from the movies who was simply immune to the disease - it may have been because I contracted it early before testing even existed during the earliest part of the pandemic or maybe I'm just a genetic freak and immune to it or perhaps I just got it one day from a slight exposure and it never progressed to clinical symptoms and natural immunity developed.

Whatever the reason is, I've seen people gleefully rejoice in stripping human rights and dignity from unvaccinated people and advocate all types of violence and discrimination against them - while becoming infected themselves with this virus left and right.

It is quite a strange place to be.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705132)

basically my ENTIRE circle is at least "home test pozzed" and they are almost ALL boosted. the cat is out of the bag. my parents came from PR...boom...pozzed. i spoke to my mom--the biggest person in my circle with the FEAR--and she's like "i feel fine".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705361)

had a convo with my wife maybe a month or two ago and she was telling me she was going to close social media. i told her not too because we have overlapping social circles that basically are 80% shared. i told her she needs to keep track on who the real petty tyrants are in our circle. this is a KEY learning moment. learn about who are the people who would lock up your family because they don't want to take a fucking shot. may be the best outcome of all of this. i can confirm all the crazies.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705373)

The listmaking goes both ways.

I know who the petty tyrants are in my circle - they've outed themselves.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705494)

i love them anyways, nbd. but it is weird.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705502)

I've dealt with this issue in my own extended family and it is truly depressing. I'm the only one who didn't get vaccinated and somewhere along the line it became "Do you think you are right and everyone else is wrong?" - I've never told a single person in my family about how to make their own medical decisions.

If it turns out that I'm right, they will likely hate me even more because they will know that I was the only person that didn't get deceived.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705519)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43706081)

It’s the equivalent of watching Nazis gleefully machine gunning Jews for months then suddenly finding out they themselves are Jewish

I’m sure all the faggot Kikes on the bort would appreciate that delicious irony

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43707233)

would any lib say, "you are in for a season of severe illness and death," and "i recommend withholding medical care from you"?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43707408)

these people are so full of shit.

my friend's sister was one of the mouthiest bitches all of last year and then caught covid, same with her family. she forbid her husband from telling anyone.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705221)

LMAO at the sleight of hand here comparing not washing your hands after opening the door at the 7-11 to taking POZLOADS at the local bathhouse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705311)

at a certain point, the messaging stopped taking i think. meaning that they gave people APEX FEAR and now are trying to undo it on the fly as they acknowledge it's nbd, but too late. you can't convince people for over a year that THEY'RE GOING TO DIE and then try to walk that back even if it's comforting information. their lives got thrown so upside down they can't accept that either a) it was for nothing or b) it was honestly a miscalculation. either one just can't justify the FEAR and TUMULT in their lives. the more tumult they experienced, the less likely it is that it can be walked back. and a lot of that is jrx based. if you're in a place that had draconian lockdowns/mandates/etc then the chances of you accepting the data is lower. just imho.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705355)

No one among the staff or doctors is >40.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705437)

I didn't have my mask on while walking outside, on a breezy day. He wanted me to put it on while I walked by him.

The psychological harm that this has inflicted on people is truly unbelievable.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705503)

i did have an odd experience at the gym a month or so ago and you will see how it relates.

i lift SUPER late at night and i'm deadlifting and i had a man--an actual adult male--come and tell me to please keep it down. i'm on an actual deadlift platform. i said "no. i won't". and he just stared at me. and then i gave him the shoo away hand gesture and said "go on, beat it, go...get outta here." he stared at me and left.

we've lost the ability to tell people to just kick rocks. if that happened to me i would have given him the shoo at least. shoo old man shoo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705661)

If that dude who bothered me didn't clearly have Alzheimer's I'd have told him to fuck off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43709975)

Try

"Tens of Millions"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705344)

Every shot I've gotten has wiped me out with fevers/chills/exhaustion for 2 days. Let's assume that these are the only side effects, and these aren't symptoms of more nefarious damage to my body.

I'm supposed to do this every 2 months, and I still have about a 2/3 greater protection?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705376)

Did WaPo come back and edit that part out or did DM?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705469)

MFCR I can’t believe fucking BLUMFPH did this to us. All of his stupid science hating supporters need to be shipped off to camps ASAP.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705755)

Everyone pozzed except for me and my nuclear fam. Got JNJ over the summer, no boo$ter. All the boo$ted people in the extended family are pozzed. Pretty much no one has any symptoms or they are mild. If this hasnt woken up aome braindead libs, nothing will.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705559)

1) Just don’t take a COVID test. Can’t test positive if you don’t get a test.

2) Don’t tell anyone if you do get it. Obviously this will be challenging for all the attention whores on social media.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43705674)

P.S. get your vax (even though it doesn't work for shit)!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4997235&forum_id=2#43707835)