i went to a few more where bridesmaids would get up and talk about the brides dating history and lack of luck in dating. it made me want to vomit but it almost became standard for millennials.

for a fucking MAN to do it? holy shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45294310)

Nobody at a rehearsal/wedding reception wants to hear a long winded personal anecdote. You keep your toast short, general, and if you tell an anecdote it’s something that everyone can relate to, like how slow the valet line was at the ceremony or how long the trip to get to the wedding.

I cannot stand when people stand up there and tell some story about being in school or whatever with the bride and groom. Most of the time it is not well executed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45294765)

I like you, my dude, but please tell me you're joking

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45295054)

For example:

Hi folks, I’m X, the best man. You might have seen me up at the front during the ceremony. That was a beautiful ceremony. Everything except for the valet. Did anyone else notice that? Valet was moving like molasses in wintertime. I timed him. He took 9 minutes to bring my Toyota around.

But you know what didn’t take 9 minutes? Not even 9 seconds? It was when [groom] asked me to be his best man.

You see we go way back. 20 years. That’s 250 months. 500 fortnights.

And in all that time, I’ve known to be a great person/have great character traits.

[to the bride], [groom] is the best man I know. And I know that together the two of you will be strong enough to weather whatever may come.

Congratulations to you both!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45295147)

This is a terrible speech.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45303551)

No European girl would ever present herself like this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45294344)

no way these are Gen Z (under 25) though

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45294550)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45294355)

Now, fewer people even get married at all, so you’re starting with a smaller pool.

I’m in my late 30s and I know like 2 people who have been divorced in the past 10 years out of 100+ married friends, former classmates, work colleagues, etc. But maybe rural proles are still getting divorced?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45303552)

JFC JFC JFC

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45294916)

https://www.instagram.com/p/CjYBQxoPcgb/?hl=en

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45294929)

I’m sure there was some overlap here too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45299821)

*a bunch of 40-something overweight baldmos enraged at seeing happy young people*

*typical Friday evening on xo the website*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45297637)

It sounds like the bride and groom were dating long distance in college, so the bride must have been dating the best man either earlier in college or possibly in high school? Either way, crazy to pick a best man who dated the bride at all, and nuts for the guy to mention it during his speech.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5207529&forum_id=2#45303560)