it must be a family friend or somebody who made a deal with his dad to employ him or something

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5242847&forum_id=2#45555315)

If you are visiting my home, then basically the same except with bottled beer, usually Stella. I have a set of freezer glasses that keep what's poured into them very cold. I'll make some snack, maybe italian sausage or ramen with a lot of ingredients. If we do the usual shift to scotch after beer is done, then I like to work on killing the bottle entirely. If for whatever reason there is an international trip you've done recently or I've done recently, I might pick up a bottle of that local drink beforehand just for the lulz. I will also play music through Sonos--usually something neutral we can all get behind, at least until we've done more stuff together. I would probably try to get some cigars together as well, and while we are drinking scotch we'd go outside to my firepit and get a fire started just for chilling out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5242847&forum_id=2#45555390)

*beady eyes narrow*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5242847&forum_id=2#45555888)

TRANSCRIPT

Acting U.S. Atty for M.D. ZoZo (North, P.,) on Behalf of The United States, comes now before this Honorable Court and would show the same as follows:

Closing Argument

ladies and gentlemen, poasters who I admire and respect have said things such as the following: "someotherghost exclusively talks about other posters, in contrast, spaceporn almost exclusively talked about his day to day life ... [and] spaceporn doesn't hide his writing style very well." now I'm sure that such remarks from estimable Content Creators have left some of you wondering if the better course is not simply to err on the side of even the smallest existential doubt and acquit the Accused, just wash your hands of this whole ugly affair. good people, I firmly believe such lines of thinking are profoundly dangerous, destructive, and wrong, and if you lend me your ears for a moment I will tell you why.

I kind of tried to address this 'evidentiary' question in the subthread wasteland upstream, but as the Bard would tell us: therein lies the rub. for whatever reason, SP the person is pot-committed to the conceit that SP the poaster permanently quit xo after his humiliating meltdown slash outting last March. of course one could justly probe why *that* degradation in particular—rather than any *other* of the manifold humiliations that CS has, for years, regularly authored to the derisive amusement of his intellectual betters on xo—should cause him to draw a line in the sand, but, ultimately, I think trying to parse the reasoning of an azn-napping henpecked shitlaw salaryman literal 🤡 that graduated DFL at his T14 is as unproductive a thought experiment as spaceporn’s actual grotesquely misshapen loins themselves. for whatever reason, despite eventually dropping the mask on, e.g., the ‘gurgling retard’ or ‘Philosopher King’ vessels, for now he has chosen to ‘give up the ghost’—so to speak—on candidly poasting on xo *as* spaceporn the poaster. of course no one ever really quits this place so, nevertheless, the 🤡 persisted.

now, don’t let me be misunderstood. if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: by xo’s historical standards and probably even those of (xo 2020 spaceporn is stupid. he's fuckin DUMB. to anyone who poasts yet somehow remains uninitiated to this fact see, e.g., spaceporn on global warming, spaceporn on law, spaceporn on domestic politics, spaceporn on domestic life, spaceporn on wearing the pants in one’s household, and &c. anyway, while he certainly IS dumb for xo he’s not like, literal non-functional 75 IQ God Ran Out of Brains so He Got Actual Rocks in His Malformed 🤡 Skull Dumb. I mean, he’s been PUBLISHED in estimable journals of poetry—jeez! more on point, despite being the literal monster we now know him to be, he nevertheless once sold a first world country on the canard that letting him take one of their own home as his ‘son’ would be to give the boy a promising future of fatherly nurturing, rather than terrifying ricehoal abuse. you are of course correct that among the MANY adaptations and skills that evolution (rightly) saw fit to withhold from spaceporn, the capacity to effectively disguise his poasting voice on xo was certainly among them. but let’s be honest, the nominal qualities you point to as lending ostensible plausibility to the notion that SomeOtherGhost ‘seems’ like a different poaster are, in reality, exactly the kind of minimally competent hamfisted efforts we would expect if, say, spaceporn were still here poasting on xo, but under a new moniker and with impotent determination that every day he’ll summon all the resolve and brainpower in his quiver to NOT blatantly sound exactly like spaceporn on here.

I mean, imagine for a second: what WOULD it sound like if spaceporn were here still poasting but trying his darndest to not get caught sounding *so* blatantly spaceporn-esque that it’s essentially a dead-to-rights giveaway even to casual lurkers? now, can you honestly tell me that what you would envision in that scenario is *SO* incompatibly unlike what you actually hear in SomeOtherGhost’s poasting? sure, he’s specifically endeavored to lay off the gas a little bit in terms of doing balls-out retarded spaceporn threading of his idiotic ruminations on American politics, and even he recognizes that the first time he let’s slip a quintessentially spaceporn ‘welp! little fucker just took a dump on the porch and then the dog ate it last time it was the other way around bros!’ or ‘wife just put $225 on the creditcard gettinf her and teh kid fancy haircuts at some trendy spa—they both still look like gook bowlcuts to me wtf. bros!?’ thread the jig is pretty much up. so ok, sure, he restrains blatant and undeniable hallmarks that even his traumatized nine-year-old ‘son’ could pick out, and then at some point, while the Bulls documentary is the most widely discussed recurring topic on xo, spaceporn (already firmly under suspicion mind you—the Henry Aaron thread was almost six weeks ago, I just checked) has the spaceporn-esque ‘insight’ that maybe if he sprinkles a few completely anodyne and inconsequential comments about Jordan’s career and legacy around the discussion—and seriously we’re talking the kind of shit that TMF, who HATES sports and never watches them, could easily come up with after listening to nine minutes of The Last Dance in the background and skimming Wikipedia, were that he suddenly felt compelled to make a handful of MJ poasts for some random reason—some contrarians (or alts) could take up the ‘hold everything guys: the *real* spaceporn NEVER poasted about sport!!’ contrivance as some indomitable rebuttal.

I mean c’mon, THAT flimsy af ‘evidence’ is the best shit we’ve gotten from team spaceporn skeptics!? even the cruelest spaceporn tormenters on xo (and I would humbly nominate myself for membership to such a group) ever have earnestly claimed that such diminutive efforts were wholly beyond spaceporn’s meager reach, if for no other reason than the reality that such clumsy and sophomoric efforts are of, at best, minimal probative value in terms of casting genuine doubt on the ultimate issue. now put yourself in the role of juror and imagine you’ve retired to deliberate this case—after a few minutes of preliminary discussion it becomes clear that resolving the ultimate question requires weighing the spaceporn skeptic’s exculpatory machinations like “idk SomeOtherGhost made a couple humdrum poasts about MJ and SP didn’t really poast about sport, I don’t think” and “well SomeOtherGhost has, so far as anyone’s found to this point, managed to refrain from getting too high and poasting any of his trademark, dead giveaway, infuriatingly prosaic and inane ‘welp bros, kid just/wife just/boss just ____’ gobbledygook,” against The People of XO’s inculpatory evidence, which includes but is not limited to:

People’s Exhibit A: (SomeOtherGhost, before the cloud of accusation had been cast over him, painfully tries to effect an earnest tone, while seemingly trying to gauge overall xo sentiment, asks only ~2wks after the spaceporn debacle of 2019“so who was this [spaceporn] and what happened [with him recently on xo]??”—“putting outing info aside,” of course: a low-IQ artifice reminiscent of Julia’s “Is it True a Playboy Playmate Once Poasted Here” own-goal)

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4232126&forum_id=2#38014566

People’s Exhibit B: (while DEFINITELY NOT KNOWING anything about spaceporn tp and certainly having no knowledge of the whole ‘spaceporn drama’ circa March 2019 (Ex A, supra) and despite the ‘real’ spaceporn tp being notoriously and putatively absent from xo for the *entirety* of the intervening YEAR, by April of 2020 SomeOtherGhost had not only managed to ACQUIRE significant working knowledge of spaceporn’s poasting gestalt in an objective/descriptive sense—by itself no mean task, as it is undisputed that, early in 2019, spaceporn used a shitmod account to annihilate off of all xo (including the garbage board) literally HUNDREDS of bread-and-butter ‘wife just/kid just’ bromidic spaceporn inanity threading—but also managed to synthesize, using only an epistolary look-back at what few vestiges of spaceporn’s poasting history were NOT permanently shitmodded early last year, the normative and proscriptive opinion that spaceporn was indeed a GREAT, quality poaster; that xo is definitely poorer for his absence; but also—alack—that spaceporn *definitely* doesn’t poast actively on xo anymore)

“Date: April 19th, 2020 6:04 PM

Author: SomeOtherGhost

I don’t think even Kenny accused that pumo of being spaceporn. And alas spaceporn doesn’t spend much time around here these days.”

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4513809&forum_id=2#40048312

and finally, by far the most powerful, indeed absolutely devastating evidence, if you will, compare People’s Exhibit C:

Date: April 27th, 2020 6:44 AM

Author: SomeOtherGhost

“nobody likes ‘kenny’ the poster. i'm sure the irl guy isn't such a useless shitheel”

http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4514885&mc=117&forum_id=2#40101329

and People’s Exhibit D:

Date: April 27th, 2020 6:53 AM

Author: Henry Aaron

Hmmmmm, very odd. I type shitheel into the search bar because it’s a weird thing to say and two old spaceporn threads come up IMMEDIATELY. FUCKING LOL

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3570646&mc=1&forum_id=2

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3489735&mc=9&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4514885&forum_id=2#40101341)

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, SomeOtherGhost and his apologists ask you to return a verdict in his favor despite the inconvenient truth that to do so would require you to credit a hackneyed narrative so obviously contrived that it is manifestly LESS plausible than spaceporn’s fervent attempts to convince the ‘popular kids’ riding the same schoolbus at the start of 8th Grade that he *totally* had an IRL girlfriend, that her name was ‘Jennifer,’ that they had met that summer at camp, that they had ‘totally fooled around—second base at least maybe third’ and that the ONLY reason no one at their school had ever heard of her—or even knew anyone that knew anyone that had—was that her overprotective Christian parents had homeschooled her through junior high but that she was now enrolling as a Freshman at ‘Crosstown Rival High School Everyone’s Vaguely Heard Of, two towns over (that’s right she’s OLDER), and that everyone making fun of him was gonna look REALLY DUMB in a couple months when spaceporn rolls into the Fall Dance with fetching-frisky-over-the-shirt Jennifer on his arm.

Ladies and gentlemen this Defendant asks you to endorse the full-on 🤡 argument that he, a completely separate and definitely NON-SPACEPORN poaster no on had ever heard of until early last year known as ‘SomeOtherGhost’ just happened to find himself in the midst of a thread wherein Henry Aaron—who just happens to be one of the meanest bullies that taunted spaceporn for 2+ yrs on xo and who you could really tell got under SP’s skin—was accusing him (SOG) of actually being spaceporn (based on SEPARATE and additional evidence, see A and B, supra) and when the subject of Kenny tp was brought up—yet another poaster who notoriously bullyied spaceporn and fermented significant enmity between the two—did cause SomeOtherGhost (who is, remember, definitely NOT spaceporn) to spontaneously opine that, COMPLETELY SEPARATELY, he also happened to SHARE spaceporn decidedly low opinion of kenny tp, and thereupon, also refer to same as a ‘shitheel,’ an immediately and inherently distinctive and unusual neology phrasing that, according to search had only then appeared SEVEN times throughout the TOTAL SEARCHABLE HISTORY of xo thread titles, and the OP author of all of the most recent threads incorporating that phraseology and TWO out of the total SEVEN in xo’s history (~30%)? noneother than spaceporn himself under his original (though now pumofied) spaceporn moniker

‘why do you faggots hitch your wagons to this shitheel Trump?’

Date: January 12th, 2017 5:32 PM

Author: ...,,..,,.,

I mean, what's so great about him, except, you know, he's "not politically correct" and you can't get laid.

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3489735&mc=23&forum_id=2

and

‘it would be 180 is trump was generous as fuck instead of a fucking shitheel’

Date: April 1st, 2017 5:47 PM

Author: ...,,..,,.,

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3570646&forum_id=2#32970943

ladies and gentlemen of the jury it would appear the accused regards you as little more than credulous ‘gurgling retards.’ he expects you will willingly stamp the patently incredible notion that, when he was (WRONGFULLY) accused of being spaceporn by Henry Aaron—WITH evidence—he just happened to find himself spontaneously talking just like spaceporn—and ONLY spaceporn—does, purely as a matter of happenstance or 'bad luck.' he asks you to accept this over the the far more plausible narrative that—on the question of spaceporn, vel non—HE, spaceporn tp, his irascible ‘retard energies’ stirred by the taunting of a notorious spaceporn tormentor, slipped up and could not help but reveal his true self in the heat of passion. my friends—to borrow a phrase from middling ghetto bid-hunting high school policy debate teams trying to jam up a higher seed in their breakround (shoutout acp!!!)—there comes a point where the uniqueness simply overwhelms the link.

ladies and gentlemen, the Defendant has made a fool of other good people who have stood where you now stand. he has beguiled with ‘just so’ narratives that explain away devastating evidence of monstrous impropriety with cloying appeals to our better Christian nature—that is, to err against believing the worst about our fellow Man. he has made a FOOL of First World governments and their adoption policies; such has been the absolute RUIN of heretofore pristine and unmolested NOWAG gook boiholes. ladies and gentlemen of the jury, The People beseech you, respectfully but resolutely: this farce must stop! it is not funny anymore. please, my friends, do NOT let this 🤡 make a fool of you.

we ask that you return a verdict of GUILTY on all counts. and we ask that you impose a sentence commensurate with the gravity of these awful crimes, and sufficient to send a firm message of unambiguous deterrence and retribution to others like this ... this ... THING you see now before you, seated next to defense counsel (just in front of the man with the very curious haircut). this ... creature who will, undoubtedly and immediately, resume willfully defiling that which is most pure in this world, merely to sate the most base and perverted impulses of the modern ‘liberal’ 🧠 if any verdict less than what the State asks is returned.

nothing can undo the horrible crimes he has already committed and, I assure you my friends, that tragic reality keeps me awake long into the night. nonetheless, the line must be drawn *here* ; THIS FAR, NO FARTHER! and ladies and gentlemen, you can make this 🤡 PAY for what he's done!

my friends, thank you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4544752&forum_id=2#40302660)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5242847&forum_id=2#45555932)

I don't think SOG is SP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5242847&forum_id=2#45555952)

Also, the "is SP SOG?" question is beside the point; there is much comedic gold in that poast regardless.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5242847&forum_id=2#45555957)

sure, he’s specifically endeavored to lay off the gas a little bit in terms of doing balls-out retarded spaceporn threading of his idiotic ruminations on American politics, and even he recognizes that the first time he let’s slip a quintessentially spaceporn ‘welp! little fucker just took a dump on the porch and then the dog ate it last time it was the other way around bros!’ or ‘wife just put $225 on the creditcard gettinf her and teh kid fancy haircuts at some trendy spa—they both still look like gook bowlcuts to me wtf. bros!?’ thread the jig is pretty much up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5242847&forum_id=2#45555980)