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Schizophrenia really fucked up my life

Three years of untreated schizophrenia destroyed so much. I ...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
what do you do for work
scarlet slippery resort
  02/04/23
Data analyst for a tech company.
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
You’ve come to the right place.
Hateful fishy partner abode
  02/04/23
how were you out of touch
180 erotic ceo pit
  02/04/23
I had almost every kind of schizophrenic delusion you can th...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
Proof and evidence don't work when you're deep in a schizoph...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
I'm saying: People are targeted for shit. How do you know th...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
There's a huge difference between reasonable suspicions and ...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
It sounds like you have your own paranoia that you need to s...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
He's trying to feed your paranoia delusions by saying that y...
vivacious fanboi university
  02/04/23
Right because MK Ultra subjects were middle of the road peop...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
knock it off
snowy stage
  02/04/23
what meds are you on
mint wonderful friendly grandma
  02/04/23
80 mg Latuda (most important medication, controls the worst ...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
that’s a huge dose of latuda and Ativan. I get that so...
mint wonderful friendly grandma
  02/04/23
welcome home
stirring indian lodge affirmative action
  02/04/23
I know it’s cool and edgy to pretend like the whole bo...
mint wonderful friendly grandma
  02/04/23
There are at least a dozen people here with a serious mental...
Swashbuckling mental disorder shitlib
  02/04/23
...
scarlet slippery resort
  02/04/23
...
High-end Thriller Gay Wizard Factory Reset Button
  02/04/23
...
Chocolate station
  02/04/23
schizophrenia is much worse than ADHD or high-functioning au...
fuchsia dead scourge upon the earth old irish cottage
  02/04/23
the psychopathy is what really worries me
snowy stage
  02/04/23
Following
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
...
Crimson party of the first part striped hyena
  02/04/23
...
High-end Thriller Gay Wizard Factory Reset Button
  02/04/23
You do realize that the barrier between "brain" bi...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
These are philosophical questions that psychiatry doesn't tr...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
"In my case the medications work. My first hospitalizat...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
Try taking Xanax or Adderall and report back on their "...
pearl roommate
  02/04/23
Lol at willingly poisoning myself with this shit. Follow Dr...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
Just go nuts every few years. That’s so much better t...
bipolar stag film
  02/04/23
Exactly.
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
Aside from which the "meds" don't actually work, i...
diverse circlehead menage
  02/04/23
Define “work”? They will medicate someone into...
bipolar stag film
  02/04/23
you have made this same thread with a similarly detailed OP ...
Appetizing dingle berry orchestra pit
  02/05/23
Welcome back to reality, brother. Most people don’t un...
cracking out-of-control ladyboy quadroon
  02/05/23
Very sorry for your loss. This disease really limits or even...
pearl roommate
  02/05/23
you were hospitalized over there, or you managed to fly home...
drab antidepressant drug sanctuary
  02/05/23
I was hospitalized twice in Europe, six times in the US.
pearl roommate
  02/05/23


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Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:04 PM
Author: pearl roommate

Three years of untreated schizophrenia destroyed so much. I was completely out of touch with reality the entire time. I think the worst part about it was the persecutory delusions, thinking everyone was trying to kill me by poisoning me. Thinking you're on the verge of death despite being "healthy" really fucks up your mind.

I've been medicated and "stable" for just over two years now, but my functioning is severely reduced. I have a severe anxiety disorder and frequent panic attacks. I walk around 10-12 miles every single day to manage the anxiety. There's rarely a calm moment.

I lost two jobs because of schizophrenia. A lot of my friends stopped talking to me. My last ex ghosted me. Ordinary people don't really know how to deal with someone in the depths of schizophrenic psychosis. I had to move back in with my parents, and I still live with them. I rarely leave the house.

At least I'm employed. I'm fortunate to work from home, so I just have to force myself to act normal during a few Zoom calls per week. There's no way I could work in an office; even if I could handle a commute (impossible right now), I'd freak out all my coworkers with my bizarre rituals and my zombie-like medicated state.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887640)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:05 PM
Author: scarlet slippery resort

what do you do for work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887642)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:13 PM
Author: pearl roommate

Data analyst for a tech company.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887674)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:06 PM
Author: Hateful fishy partner abode

You’ve come to the right place.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887646)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:06 PM
Author: 180 erotic ceo pit

how were you out of touch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887647)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:20 PM
Author: pearl roommate

I had almost every kind of schizophrenic delusion you can think of, and I hallucinated occasionally.

I thought there was a large conspiracy of people trying to kill me by poisoning me. I fled the country a few times and applied for political asylum in Europe. I starved myself for weeks because I thought everything was poisoned, even pre-packaged food and tap water.

I thought secret messages were being sent to me through my phone, websites, the TV, and the weather.

I thought the government was closely spying on me 24/7 with secret technology that could see through my walls, so I'd sit motionless in bed for long periods so that they couldn't track my movements. I thought they spying on me so closely that they could monitor my breathing.

I thought the government was reading my thoughts with secret technology.

There's more, but those are the more prominent ones.

Hallucinations only happened at the worst points, right before hospitalization. Auditory hallucinations -- several times I heard a loud chorus of crying coming from outside my window. Occasionally I heard music. Olfactory hallucinations -- I was smelling things that weren't there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887698)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:29 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887732)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:44 PM
Author: pearl roommate

Proof and evidence don't work when you're deep in a schizophrenic episode. If you presented me with any proof that my food wasn't being poisoned, my schizophrenic mind would've found several errors, omissions, ignorance, etc. in your proof.

You don't look for evidence that it's not happening -- you need to unravel and eliminate the delusional framework upon which the schizophrenia develops.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887802)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:59 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

I'm saying: People are targeted for shit. How do you know this was all delusions.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887830)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:27 PM
Author: pearl roommate

There's a huge difference between reasonable suspicions and schizophrenic delusions.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887928)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:29 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887941)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:34 PM
Author: pearl roommate

It sounds like you have your own paranoia that you need to sort out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887985)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 9:03 PM
Author: vivacious fanboi university

He's trying to feed your paranoia delusions by saying that you're likely to be targeted, or that high-IQ people are "more likely" to be targeted (which makes no sense). Just ignore the troll.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45888255)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 9:06 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

Right because MK Ultra subjects were middle of the road people

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45888262)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 9:52 PM
Author: snowy stage

knock it off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45888395)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:07 PM
Author: mint wonderful friendly grandma

what meds are you on

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887651)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:22 PM
Author: pearl roommate

80 mg Latuda (most important medication, controls the worst of the schizophrenia)

300 mg Zoloft (huge dose for anxiety issues)

150 mg Wellbutrin (recently added to offset the sedation from the Latuda)

100 mg trazodone (sleep aid)

2.5 mg lorazepam (sleep aid and panic attacks)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887703)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:27 PM
Author: mint wonderful friendly grandma

that’s a huge dose of latuda and Ativan. I get that some people need them but cot damn. I hope you never have to experience benzo withdrawals.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887725)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:11 PM
Author: stirring indian lodge affirmative action

welcome home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887666)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:12 PM
Author: mint wonderful friendly grandma

I know it’s cool and edgy to pretend like the whole board is schizo but this guy sounds like the real deal. he’s posted about it before

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887672)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:13 PM
Author: Swashbuckling mental disorder shitlib

There are at least a dozen people here with a serious mental illness. A treated schizophrenic isn't even bad relative to some of them

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887678)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:14 PM
Author: scarlet slippery resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887679)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:15 PM
Author: High-end Thriller Gay Wizard Factory Reset Button



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887682)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:16 PM
Author: Chocolate station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887686)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 9:05 PM
Author: fuchsia dead scourge upon the earth old irish cottage

schizophrenia is much worse than ADHD or high-functioning autism. a top-tier schizophrenia outcome is maybe comparable to a bottom-tier ADHD outcome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45888260)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 9:53 PM
Author: snowy stage

the psychopathy is what really worries me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45888400)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:11 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

Following

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887668)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:17 PM
Author: Crimson party of the first part striped hyena

Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887690)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:20 PM
Author: High-end Thriller Gay Wizard Factory Reset Button

Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887695)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 6:34 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

You do realize that the barrier between "brain" biology and thought is impenetrable- on a philosophical level there is no way to demonstrate that thought originates in the brain https://mindmatters.ai/2020/12/has-neuroscience-proved-that-the-mind-is-just-the-brain/

Now imagine that these scientists are proposing, after making this huge philosophical jump, that they can invent specific chemicals to control specific thoughts.

This is all ridiculous and you are killing yourself slowly with toxic placebos. Enjoy retardive dyskenesia.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887756)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:25 PM
Author: pearl roommate

These are philosophical questions that psychiatry doesn't try to answer.

And these types of questions aren't limited to psychiatry, which you seem to be suggesting. There are tons of medications where the mechanism of action is unclear or unknown.

In my case the medications work. My first hospitalization, which was for around six weeks, involved an involuntary injection of antipsychotic medication. The delusions faded away once the medication kicked in, but they returned as it wore off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887919)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:28 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

"In my case the medications work. My first hospitalization, which was for around six weeks, involved an involuntary injection of antipsychotic medication. The delusions faded away once the medication kicked in, but they returned as it wore off."

This is the case with most placebos.

"These are philosophical questions that psychiatry doesn't try to answer."

Right. Pyschiatry assumes the answer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887937)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:55 PM
Author: pearl roommate

Try taking Xanax or Adderall and report back on their "placebo" effects.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45888041)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 9:00 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

Lol at willingly poisoning myself with this shit.

Follow Drunkards advice below.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45888250)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:11 PM
Author: bipolar stag film

Just go nuts every few years. That’s so much better than being on meds and if you are on meds for a while they stop working and you are really fucked.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887876)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:13 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

Exactly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887883)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:14 PM
Author: diverse circlehead menage

Aside from which the "meds" don't actually work, it's all the placebo effect.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887886)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 4th, 2023 7:21 PM
Author: bipolar stag film

Define “work”? They will medicate someone into a semi-catatonic state.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887906)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2023 3:00 AM
Author: Appetizing dingle berry orchestra pit

you have made this same thread with a similarly detailed OP several times. just bump an old one for christ's sake.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45889059)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2023 10:26 AM
Author: cracking out-of-control ladyboy quadroon

Welcome back to reality, brother. Most people don’t understand how awful dealing with a true schizophrenic is. I had a member of my extended family, who was always a bit of an odd duck, suddenly lose it. He thought some girl he met was a hacker who was ruining his life by intercepting every text message, email, FB message, etc. he sent and every conversation he had over digital means was actually with her. Even though she was ruining his life, he needed to marry her. He caught some criminal charges after turning up at her parents place in Minnesota with a gun and trying to “rescue” her. He never got treated and ran off to New Mexico and died from some combination of alcohol abuse and heat stroke and couldn’t call the EMT because she would “intercept” it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45889466)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2023 10:50 AM
Author: pearl roommate

Very sorry for your loss. This disease really limits or even eliminates your ability to function or even stay alive.

I have a similar story. I thought the government was spying on me in ways that were even worse than what you've described. And I thought everything I was eating and drinking was poisoned, so I fled the country with the intent to apply for political asylum in Europe. I went to Berlin, where the police told me to go to the US embassy, which I did. I was starved and dehydrated since I thought everything was poisoned, sleep deprived, and severely jet lagged. In this insane state I demanded immediate assistance from the embassy about the large conspiracy of people trying to poison me (including my tap water). They could tell I was completely insane, and they told me to get a hotel room or go to a hospital. I ended up fleeing to another European country and applying for political asylum there. Of course the application was denied.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45889501)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2023 11:39 AM
Author: drab antidepressant drug sanctuary

you were hospitalized over there, or you managed to fly home first? edit: i don't want to out you, doesn't matter i guess

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45889666)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2023 7:33 PM
Author: pearl roommate

I was hospitalized twice in Europe, six times in the US.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45891328)