Schizophrenia really fucked up my life
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Date: February 4th, 2023 6:04 PM Author: pearl roommate
Three years of untreated schizophrenia destroyed so much. I was completely out of touch with reality the entire time. I think the worst part about it was the persecutory delusions, thinking everyone was trying to kill me by poisoning me. Thinking you're on the verge of death despite being "healthy" really fucks up your mind.
I've been medicated and "stable" for just over two years now, but my functioning is severely reduced. I have a severe anxiety disorder and frequent panic attacks. I walk around 10-12 miles every single day to manage the anxiety. There's rarely a calm moment.
I lost two jobs because of schizophrenia. A lot of my friends stopped talking to me. My last ex ghosted me. Ordinary people don't really know how to deal with someone in the depths of schizophrenic psychosis. I had to move back in with my parents, and I still live with them. I rarely leave the house.
At least I'm employed. I'm fortunate to work from home, so I just have to force myself to act normal during a few Zoom calls per week. There's no way I could work in an office; even if I could handle a commute (impossible right now), I'd freak out all my coworkers with my bizarre rituals and my zombie-like medicated state.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887640) |
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Date: February 4th, 2023 6:20 PM Author: pearl roommate
I had almost every kind of schizophrenic delusion you can think of, and I hallucinated occasionally.
I thought there was a large conspiracy of people trying to kill me by poisoning me. I fled the country a few times and applied for political asylum in Europe. I starved myself for weeks because I thought everything was poisoned, even pre-packaged food and tap water.
I thought secret messages were being sent to me through my phone, websites, the TV, and the weather.
I thought the government was closely spying on me 24/7 with secret technology that could see through my walls, so I'd sit motionless in bed for long periods so that they couldn't track my movements. I thought they spying on me so closely that they could monitor my breathing.
I thought the government was reading my thoughts with secret technology.
There's more, but those are the more prominent ones.
Hallucinations only happened at the worst points, right before hospitalization. Auditory hallucinations -- several times I heard a loud chorus of crying coming from outside my window. Occasionally I heard music. Olfactory hallucinations -- I was smelling things that weren't there.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887698) |
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Date: February 4th, 2023 6:22 PM Author: pearl roommate
80 mg Latuda (most important medication, controls the worst of the schizophrenia)
300 mg Zoloft (huge dose for anxiety issues)
150 mg Wellbutrin (recently added to offset the sedation from the Latuda)
100 mg trazodone (sleep aid)
2.5 mg lorazepam (sleep aid and panic attacks)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887703) |
Date: February 4th, 2023 6:34 PM Author: diverse circlehead menage
You do realize that the barrier between "brain" biology and thought is impenetrable- on a philosophical level there is no way to demonstrate that thought originates in the brain https://mindmatters.ai/2020/12/has-neuroscience-proved-that-the-mind-is-just-the-brain/
Now imagine that these scientists are proposing, after making this huge philosophical jump, that they can invent specific chemicals to control specific thoughts.
This is all ridiculous and you are killing yourself slowly with toxic placebos. Enjoy retardive dyskenesia.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887756) |
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Date: February 4th, 2023 7:25 PM Author: pearl roommate
These are philosophical questions that psychiatry doesn't try to answer.
And these types of questions aren't limited to psychiatry, which you seem to be suggesting. There are tons of medications where the mechanism of action is unclear or unknown.
In my case the medications work. My first hospitalization, which was for around six weeks, involved an involuntary injection of antipsychotic medication. The delusions faded away once the medication kicked in, but they returned as it wore off.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887919) |
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Date: February 4th, 2023 7:28 PM Author: diverse circlehead menage
"In my case the medications work. My first hospitalization, which was for around six weeks, involved an involuntary injection of antipsychotic medication. The delusions faded away once the medication kicked in, but they returned as it wore off."
This is the case with most placebos.
"These are philosophical questions that psychiatry doesn't try to answer."
Right. Pyschiatry assumes the answer.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887937) |
Date: February 4th, 2023 7:11 PM Author: bipolar stag film
Just go nuts every few years. That’s so much better than being on meds and if you are on meds for a while they stop working and you are really fucked.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5284274&forum_id=2#45887876)
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