Since I've been back in family law I've been settling everything. Even cases I swore had no chance of settling settled the day of trial because the judges pressured us to settle.

The one DV trial I had settled at lunchtime after the judge twisted our arms.

It was kind of funny and interesting because I didn't win this one, my client did.

After I finished my cross-exam, my client just started popping off at the mouth and I made the conscious decision not to stop her.

I will usually put up my hand as a signal to stop talking or, in extreme cases, tap them with my foot under the table while maintaining a poker face.

Nope, not this time. I just let her go. Then my client and opposing party, who was pro per, went back and forth for about 15 seconds when the judge went, "Ok, that's enough. I'm dismissing both restraining orders. You two just need to stay away from each other."

My client started to say something and then I put my hand up and said, "Let's go!"

As soon as we got outside I said, "I wanted to get out of there before the judge changed her mind."

Now THAT was a shitshow, but a win is a win and it feels fanfuckingtastic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48383620)

I normally function on a level 4-5 or so during the week and then kicking up to maybe a level 7 for a contested family law hearing.

My morning victory was a fluke and my client deserved the credit for the win although my strategy of filing a competing restraining order played a huge part in the outcome.

I had another DV trial in the afternoon and I didn’t want the case. He admitted in the consultation to putting a tracker on his wife’s car which was one of the allegations. He was fucked.

The worst allegation was that he tried to strangle her with a vacuum cleaner cord in September.

I can’t exaggerate how fucked this guy was. I offered to give him his full retainer back because there was nothing I could do. Nope. He wanted me to hold his hand.

I wasn’t going to suborn perjury so I spent my time in the hallway counseling him on all the different ways he could go to jail for violating the restraining order he was about to get.

They were a Mexican couple married 27 years, both being assisted by Spanish speaking interpreters.

The wife, pro per, ambushed me by serving me with a certified translation of a video.

The bailiff hands me a copy of a page from the transcript where the judge underlined what looked like an admission by my client that he tried to strangle her with the vacuum cleaner cord.

At another point, the judge said he wanted to grant a one year restraining order to provide a “cooling off period.”

I talked him out of it.

This judge always tells the same stories. He tried to draw a parallel between one of his stories and my case. I distinguished it.

After successfully distinguishing the appellate court case that was at the heart of his story I then segued into how the transcription was really just a typical marital argument and if we gave restraining orders to every wife who said, “Stop talking to me,” and the husband says, “No, honey, listen to me,” then my [black] wife would have 100 restraining orders on me.

This was no fluke. I earned this one. I tried negotiating with the wife in good faith. I told her she might lose the trial and I was offering her guaranteed protection in the form of a stay-away order punishable by contempt.

She called Legal Aid (who prepared her restraining order) to ask for advice and they apparently told her to reject my reasonable offer.

Now the bitch has nothing and I have another notch in my belt.

For the record, she was abusing process, trying to get a restraining order to punish her husband rather than to protect herself so calm down shitlibs, if you want to blame someone blame Legal Aid for their shitty advice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48386028)

waht does suborn perjury mean?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48386047)

You have to surrender all your guns while it’s in place.

It can affect your prospective job opportunities, goes on your permanent record.

Suborn perjury is inducing perjury.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48388571)

It is an absolute fucking nightmare. And judges give them out like candy.

No one really understands what a world-class talent Chilmata is because "it's just family law." What he does with DVRO defense is the equivalent of getting OJ acquitted. But where that happens once in a decade, Chilmata pulls it off every week (at least). He saved my ass in a way that I truly believe was borderline miraculous. My son and I both have him to thank.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48390160)

The relevant family code is section 3044 which creates a presumption that a parent who commits DV is unfit and cannot have legal or physical custody until they rebut the presumption. This takes five months on average not five years.

The court has jurisdiction to look back five years for allegations of DV which is probably where that number is coming from.

The presumption of parental unfitness results in supervised visitation not a loss of custody although a lot of parents refuse to be supervised which then leads to them never rebutting the presumption.

To rebut the presumption you take a couple classes, fall on your sword and don’t fuck up. This is harder to do for some people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48390711)

I will say this. The supervised visitation sounds like a trap. From my experience with court, they want to drag you further and further into their tentacles until they dominate your whole relationship with your children and family. I imagine that the supervisors are habituated into saying negative shit about you that results in more court involvement.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48391191)

There is professional and non-professional supervision.

I encourage my dads to do professional because they will write reports that are submitted to the court and you can take advantage when the dad doesn’t deserve to be supervised. Some dads do.

Supervised visits are restraints on liberty and judges don’t like them for that reason so you need a really good reason for them.

In the worst cases, there is a lengthy time between when the Temporary Restraining Order was granted and when the supervised visits start, the mother uses that time to alienate the kids against dad.

I have a case now that’s heartbreaking. Autistic dad, ER nurse, breadwinner, works 2 days a week. Three boys 8-12. Mom was SAHM.

Something happened in April that resulted in mom filling for a DVTRO (mom alleged dad hit her during an argument). Opposing counsel requested a specific professional supervisor who has a three month backlog. Judge granted the TRO as well as the request for the supervisor (brilliant strategy btw).

By the time the supervisor had availability, the boys refused to see dad.

When judges order supervised visits, it’s not a punishment, it’s either because the family code mandates it or it’s out of an abundance of caution. They want see the supervised parent happily jump through the bullshit hoops.

If you jump through the hoops with a smile and tell the judge HOW MUCH YOU LEARNED then you get custody back.

If you refuse to be supervised, show up late, argue with the supervisor, talk shit about mom to the kids, talk about the court case during the supervised visit, ask the kids who mom’s boyfriend is, then you are going to be on a slow track to recovery.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48392214)

The real issue is when a woman alleges you said something at a handoff of the child, and there's no way to PROVE you didn't say something, and a judge just grants a DVRO out of an abundance of caution.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48393480)

Sometimes they can't settle and trials can be a few days or more if there are multiple witnesses. In those instances the fees can be $15-20k.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48390608)

2. Most people are shit

3. "Real" lawyers are the shittiest of all

4. God still loves us and wants our wellbeing.

5. I am one of the shit people Chilmata helped and am in his debt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48393507)

Civil harassment restraining orders have a higher burden, clear and convincing. Much easier to defeat.

So . . . ding, fag.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640443&forum_id=2#48412450)