http://media.mlive.com/news_impact/photo/breezewoodjpg-ed88ad9f6d198454.jpg

Recently, Breezewood played host to the most important XO meetup since nyuug was a long-haired virgin. AutoAdmit's most GAKKED OUT CUMPIGS, doobs and peterman, met to hash out their territories, to determine where they could safely ply their trade and sell their holes without fear of competition from the other

Doobs, running his fingers through his thick, luscious hair to intimidate his rival, made his position clear. He had conquered the busy truck routes of the Midwest from Benzo through hard work and a brutal price war, and he was never going to relinquish it. I-70 and I-80 were his territory: he, and only he, would service truckers taking goods from California ports to East Coast markets when they inevitably got tired and horny in the the heartland.

Peterman, narrowing his beady eyes, hissed in disagreement. He was the undisputed king of I-95, but traffic was seasonal. Some of the big ports on his route, like Baltimore, slowed down in the winter. Truckers head east from Long Beach and Oakland all year round, but they don't head north or south from Baltimore much in the dead of winter. Peterman needed east-west traffic through at least Youngstown, OH.

Doobs chuckled at the demand. He took out his iPad, bought for him by a man named "Coach Flaps", and opened the Excel app. "That's a list of every DC 5 you've hooked up with and what STDs they have. Would you like me to post it on all the trucker forums?"

Peterman hissed. Doobs made it clear that he, and only he, would take enormous trucker cock in Youngstown, OH. But he was magnanimous in victory. The reality is, doobs knew that this was a decades-long career on the lots he was managing. He couldn't service Iowa, Indiana, Ohio, AND Pennsylvania. So he agreed to declare Pennsylvania neutral. The entire PA turnpike, both the main east-west section and the new spur up to Allentown, was neutral, including the trucker mecca of Breezewood. Anyone could sell themselves there. Peterman retained exclusive rights to I-95 south of NYC, and extended his territory all the way down to South Carolina, where he could now work at South of the Border, the famous Mexican-themed truck stop.

They took care of the other poasters too. They confirmed tedcruz's exclusive right to service the truckers carrying goods up from Mexico to Seattle via I-5, as well as the fruit and vegetable truck drivers carrying produce from the fertile California valley to points north and south. And they set aside I-95 from NYC to Boston, the commuter routes from Boston to Manchester, and the backroads of rural Maine for boner_police, so he would have a job lined up upon his graduation from Tufts.

I present to you, the Treaty of Breezewood

https://i.imgur.com/Thi1pcv.jpg

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34606730)

also like 5 truck stops there

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34613719)

I’ve driven through there a few times to see in-laws and I’m not sure how I’ll explain to my wife the next time we go through and I’m laughing

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34733832)

Also, his territory is more compact, easier to defend. America's law schools graduate 40,000 potential future truck stop prostitutes each year. A lot of them are under the delusion that life on the lots is a temporary embarrassment, that in a few years they will lateral to NYC BIGLAW or a chill in-house job at a financial company. They're gonna want to be near the financial centers of the Northeast, and they're gonna be fighting Peterman and boner_police for territory.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34606926)

peterman can liquidate ETH to buy round trip airfare to Switzerland. Doobs? He has law school debt to service.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34606933)

Doobs was shaken, and his Jones Day team could tell. So one of them started pounding the table screaming that they would rush to the court to file something or other. Both sides left the conference room and retreated to separate bedrooms (double beds, no couch). Eventually they returned when the Subway sandwiches arrived, and calmed by the starch intake, the negotiation began...

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34608249)

I doubt they'll care much, as long as those lawyers get their yearly dues paid

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34619220)

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3785815&forum_id=2#34733863)