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Jessica Pin Shares Dating Journey from 34 to 40 and Commitment Struggles

Last updated

8 hours ago

From ultimatums at 34 to weekly dates at 35, Pin kept high standards and ranked prospects, but since 36 she's demanded upfront marriage talks, even drafting a contract. Now at 40, a longtime friend's interest slipped away amid her pushiness, leaving her wary despite bar encounters and a preference for younger men. The thread sparked talk on dating timing, with some noting her shift from casual empowerment to frustration, while reports show many women over 40 now prioritize emotional bonds and independence.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5921255&forum_id=2#50249665)

@jess_ann_pin

Jessica Pin

@jess_ann_pin

23h

No I wouldn't have. At 34, I had a hot, 6'4" 27 year old repeatedly giving me ultimatums to commit.

If anything I had too many options. I would have hundreds of matches. I would keep a rotating list of 10 ranked prospects.

At 35, after a breakup with a guy who admitted just lying the whole time, I was going on 5 dates a week and my standards were not high. I did actually go out with a 53 year old but the sex was terrible so I bounced. The guys who did finally want to date me seriously were the hottest ones and my age. I fell for one but then freaked out over a perceived dealbreaker because I was scared to get hurt again.

I never have lacked options. The problem is figuring out if men are real options or just wasting my time.

Since 36, I have been telling guys I do not want to date unless they are looking for marriage and kids. Every guy says he is down. I even had a whole contract at one point.

I am now 40 and my friend of 6 years told me he had been into me this whole time. I said I do not want to date except for marriage and kids.

He said our kids would be supermodels who look like me. He had remembered so many details about me over the years and had saved a bunch of candids he took that I didn't even know about from when we met.

I believed him. Honestly at this point I think he was genuine and that I screwed up by being pushy and then kind of an asshole, as people have explained.

There is still no lack of options, and if I go to a bar and walk around it's going to be the hottest guys who talk to me not the other way around. But I apparently have to assume most are just liars and fuckboys.

I also do not like older men. I do prefer younger and I reject double standards about this. Women have just as much right to choose what we like as men do and should be able to trust that men trying to date us are not just fuckboys lying. Honestly I think the young ones are less likely to be so. Any guy single and going for younger women at 55 is probably sexist and just going to keep trying to go for younger women. 🤮

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5921255&forum_id=2#50249673)

There is still no lack of options, and if I go to a bar and walk around it's going to be the hottest guys who talk to me not the other way around. But I apparently have to assume most are just liars and fuckboys.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5921255&forum_id=2#50249687)

https://x.com/GayBearRes/status/2120202034833989856

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5921255&forum_id=2#50249676)

guy says

[your standards are too high, you wouldn't have dated a 55 yo man at 34 right?]

Jessica Pin

@jess_ann_pin

No I wouldn't have. At 34, I had a hot, 6'4" 27 year old repeatedly giving me ultimatums to commit.

If anything I had too many options. I would have hundreds of matches. I would keep a rotating list of 10 ranked prospects.

At 35, after a breakup with a guy who admitted just lying the whole time, I was going on 5 dates a week and my standards were not high. I did actually go out with a 53 year old but the sex was terrible so I bounced. The guys who did finally want to date me seriously were the hottest ones and my age. I fell for one but then freaked out over a perceived dealbreaker because I was scared to get hurt again.

I never have lacked options. The problem is figuring out if men are real options or just wasting my time.

Since 36, I have been telling guys I do not want to date unless they are looking for marriage and kids. Every guy says he is down. I even had a whole contract at one point.

I am now 40 and my friend of 6 years told me he had been into me this whole time. I said I do not want to date except for marriage and kids.

He said our kids would be supermodels who look like me. He had remembered so many details about me over the years and had saved a bunch of candids he took that I didn't even know about from when we met.

I believed him. Honestly at this point I think he was genuine and that I screwed up by being pushy and then kind of an asshole, as people have explained.

There is still no lack of options, and if I go to a bar and walk around it's going to be the hottest guys who talk to me not the other way around. But I apparently have to assume most are just liars and fuckboys.

I also do not like older men. I do prefer younger and I reject double standards about this. Women have just as much right to choose what we like as men do and should be able to trust that men trying to date us are not just fuckboys lying. Honestly I think the young ones are less likely to be so. Any guy single and going for younger women at 55 is probably sexist and just going to keep trying to go for younger women. 🤮

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5921255&forum_id=2#50249743)