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Donald Rumsfeld Writes Like a Biglaw Partner
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 7th, 2015 11:23 PM Author: Titillating Self-centered Pozpig April 7, 2003 11:46 AM TO: Doug Feith FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Issues w/Various Countries
We need more coercive diplomacy with respect to Syria and Libya, and we need it fast. If they mess up Iraq, it will delay bringing our troops home.
We also need to solve the Pakistan problem.
And Korea doesn’t seem to be going well.
Are you coming up with proposals for me to send around?
Thanks.
(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645333) |
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Date: April 7th, 2015 11:29 PM Author: Cream Pontificating Center Jap Please solve peace in the Middle East.
Thank (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645403) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:37 AM Author: White principal's office Just make the task monumental to see how hard they can push themselves! (Forthcoming article) (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645931) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:47 AM Author: White principal's office *is up a week straight cut and pasting shit together*
*sends it to Mr. Rumsfeld*
*never hears back* (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645965) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 9:55 AM Author: 180 balding persian Two weeks later: "Did you ever send me something on this?" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27647558) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:51 AM Author: irradiated flushed stage Doug Feith to jr. associate:
FW: Issues w/Various Countries
pls handle (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645983) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:58 AM Author: Sable Curious Heaven Will do. Thank. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646005) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:10 AM Author: fantasy-prone maniacal kitchen Associate emails secretary for some help:
"AUTOMATIC REPLY OUT OF OFFICE: AS A REMINDER I WILL LEAVING AT 1PM ON THURSDAY FOR A PEDICURE IF U NEED SOME THING CONTACT LASHONDA IN WORD PROsESING HAVE A BLESSED DAY" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646045) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:12 AM Author: White principal's office Holy Fuck (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646055) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:09 AM Author: Jade Irate Hospital Boistinker this is pretty much what would happen IRL (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646270) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 4:24 PM Author: Up-to-no-good preventive strike laughing out loud in my office reading this one (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650251) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:04 AM Author: marvelous godawful casino One could almost get the impression that our leaders (both Secretaries of Defense and Partners) have no comprehension whatsoever of the underlying issues (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646025) |
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Date: December 18th, 2016 3:37 AM Author: Spectacular sinister locale codepig Or they hunt and peck type and can't be bothered to fully express themselves via email. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#32170344) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:11 AM Author: fantasy-prone maniacal kitchen lol xoxo Franks
"General Tommy Franks, who led both the 2001 invasion of Afghanistan and the Iraq War, once called Feith "the dumbest fucking guy on the planet."" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646046) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 7:57 AM Author: Henna swashbuckling theater Not flame: https://books.google.com/books?id=FHn-M8fZ96MC&pg=PT160&lpg=PT160&dq=dumbest+bastard+doug+feith&source=bl&ots=9Wzjio1gTY&sig=Kie1hQeDIgPyxQUCMdtaFjchLvk&hl=en&sa=X&ei=bRclVfqPGIWTsAXB1YCADQ&ved=0CCAQ6AEwAQ (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27647189) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 11:17 AM Author: gay rigpig dysfunction the emphasis is a little more entertaining:
Franks ROUTINELY denounced Feith as: "the dumbest bastard, dumbest motherfucker on the face of the earth"
(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27670042) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:15 AM Author: flesh laser beams electric furnace Under appreciated in this trove of 180s is the absurd subject line SUBJECT: Issues w/Various Countries (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646066) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:17 AM Author: Cracking messiness (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646072) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:19 AM Author: fantasy-prone maniacal kitchen It's the bow that ties this together as senior partner style.
The only thing more fitting would be if the subject was just "POLICY" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646079) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:24 AM Author: milky tanning salon Where are we on the siege of Fallujah? We know how hard you've all been working but we really need this done by COB tomorrow. Thanks. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646109) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:44 AM Author: boyish flirting address & he's almost as proliferous.
in that morris doc about him they say at one point that he wrote like 20,000 fucking memos when he was SOD.
20,000. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646197) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:46 AM Author: Mahogany fragrant university So? I know people who've written 30k tweets. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646202) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:48 AM Author: boyish flirting address dope (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646209) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 10:03 AM Author: Ungodly Iridescent Round Eye Winston Churchill was famous for sending out hundreds of requests like this for updates on weapon designs, campaign planning, recruitment, etc.
The merciful difference is that all replies were required to fit on one page because Churchill actually read all of them. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27647599) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:49 PM Author: flesh laser beams electric furnace Biggest difference is that Churchill was a mother fuckin boss while Rummy was a faggot (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649080) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:50 PM Author: White principal's office Rumsfeld is pretty fucking alpha bro. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649089) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:01 PM Author: flesh laser beams electric furnace Alphas can be faggots too (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649171) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 5:10 PM Author: Bipolar twisted theater stage coffee pot Indeed. He began many of these memos with "Pray tell me...,” “Pray explain," "Pray, etc..." I start my emails this way. If it's good enough for WSC, it's good enough for me. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650714) |
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Date: November 26th, 2025 3:14 PM Author: Motley immigrant telephone (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#49463314) |
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Date: January 12th, 2023 12:36 PM Author: Olive step-uncle's house uh, that sounds pretty different. sounds like he was sending out detailed requests about specific issues, as opposed to "Look into how we can get some troops onto continental Europe" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#45778706) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:04 PM Author: Appetizing Territorial Trailer Park It's amazing to me that this level of official actually does send emails like this that are so straightforward about such broad, macro issues. It's like, if you saw a movie where someone playing the Secretary of Defense sent an email like this, or said it over the phone ("I need an update on the situation in Syria, dammit!"), you'd roll your eyes because you'd assume it's not a realistic portrayal of what must surely be much more nuanced, detailed discussion IRL at those levels. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649194) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:33 PM Author: supple sex offender den (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649365) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:34 PM Author: cordovan church building protip: this is how all high-level doods operate. the emperor truly has no clothes. everybody is faking it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649377) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:36 PM Author: Henna swashbuckling theater Bush literally was unaware that there were Sunni and Shiite Muslims in Iraq b4 the invasion. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649396) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:37 PM Author: cordovan church building I mean more like CEOs and shit too. For every Steve Jobs there's probably 20 dipshits writing "Sales #s low, sales up plz. BIGBONUS if u do." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649405) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:38 PM Author: Henna swashbuckling theater (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649414) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:21 PM Author: Gold box office lol I've read emails in discovery related to employment lawsuits. These type of emails are common from higher ups to sales people (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649757) |
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Date: April 17th, 2015 11:33 PM Author: indigo tantric azn state (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27711000) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:55 PM Author: soggy insecure gas station Ljl. Link to this Michael Moore/Daily Kos level retard drivel. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649539) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:10 PM Author: Henna swashbuckling theater https://books.google.com/books?id=AMeZaKeV4qYC&pg=PA83&lpg=PP1&focus=viewport&output=html_text (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649693) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:38 PM Author: soggy insecure gas station More direct of a source than I would have thought but still lol at that Howard Dean lackey. I'm sure Bush might not have had a deep understanding of shia and sunni in Iraq but to say he was "unfamiliar with these terms" is just lolzy. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649879) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:52 PM Author: Talented Windowlicker TO: Joint Chiefs FROM: George W. Bush (heh) SUBJECT: RE: Iraq War Diligence
Cheney told me something about a shia and a sunni? Please research and report back.
Thank. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650035) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 4:34 PM Author: Henna swashbuckling theater Twist: this was way more due diligence than he actually did. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650343) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 10:24 AM Author: Henna swashbuckling theater i guess this is as close as you come to admitting that you were wrong. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27669870) |
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Date: April 17th, 2015 10:02 PM Author: Henna swashbuckling theater why did racist party bro / idris elba's alt go pumo? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27710635) |
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Date: January 12th, 2023 12:39 PM Author: Know-it-all Gaming Laptop School I realized this at some point during my early 20’s and it changed the way I look @ the world. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#45778731) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:33 PM Author: supple sex offender den Sounds like he'd be a pain to work for (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649370) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:52 PM Author: arousing drab nowag lay That's because he'd probably be one had he opted for law school instead of business. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649519) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:23 PM Author: abnormal vigorous institution becky He went to GULC but never graduated. Wasn't aware he went to b-school. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649769) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:12 PM Author: arousing drab nowag lay He'd probably be a V5 partner if he didn't go into biz/politics. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649708) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:42 PM Author: Slimy Violent Jewess One time the senior associate and I wrote up a list of tasks for a big new matter, with due dates, and sent it to the partner as our suggestions. He called us in separately and chewed us out for usurping his authority. About a week later his long-time paralegal showed us the task memo he had written at the same time we wrote ours, but he hadn't distributed it once he saw ours. The first entry was "identify key issues and write memoranda thereon." We almost died laughing. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649924) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 5:31 PM Author: Appetizing Territorial Trailer Park (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650909) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 12:02 PM Author: Chrome Depressive Holy shit at usurping authority.
MANY more details and further stories are required (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27670193) |
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Date: April 17th, 2015 9:44 PM Author: Slimy Violent Jewess He was a Chauncey Gardner. He looked and sounded noble but once you figured it out, you realized he had an IQ of 95. He had impressive facial expressions and hand gestures. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27710510) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 10:57 AM Author: lime location stain April 7, 2003 11:48 AM
TO: Donald Rumsfeld
FROM: Doug Feith
SUBJECT: Issues w/Various Countries
Will do. Thank (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27669994) |
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Date: April 27th, 2015 10:13 AM Author: mauve wrinkle office This sort of reinforces my impression of the Bush administration as being led by amateurs at the top. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27769352) |
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Date: May 8th, 2015 4:56 AM Author: Comical Theatre (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27847114) |
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Date: May 8th, 2015 9:55 PM Author: Multi-colored grizzly crotch Defense Department underling who's been watching the clock all Friday afternoon finally gets to 4:48. Two more minutes and he's out of there.
He starts whistling as he hovers his mouse over the Start button, ready to click Start, then Log Off. He pictures the vast weekend ahead of him. Drunk tonight. Sleeping in tomorrow. Shuffling around in a bathrobe until it's time to go chase the hunnies on the DC rooftop scene.
4:49. He starts to do the WWF Bushwhacker walk from a sitting position at his desk. He's so pumped.
4:50. Time to go! See ya, suckas! Just before he can click Start, he notices an Outlook notification of a new email. Fwd: Issues w/Various Countries.
Wtf. He opens it. "Need to see something on this by Monday morning. Thanks." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27851765) |
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Date: October 23rd, 2015 3:19 PM Author: Multi-colored grizzly crotch (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29029487) |
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Date: July 15th, 2015 6:37 PM Author: Comical Theatre (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#28337702) |
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Date: August 1st, 2015 1:22 PM Author: Comical Theatre (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#28456516) |
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Date: August 1st, 2015 1:30 PM Author: pearl diverse base knife This thread made me laugh out loud, and then dry-heave with anxiety (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#28456573) |
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Date: December 18th, 2015 11:43 AM Author: Comical Theatre once you stop caring only the laughing will happen :) (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29407308) |
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Date: December 18th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: Multi-colored grizzly crotch (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29406604) |
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Date: December 18th, 2015 12:33 PM Author: razzle-dazzle fortuitous meteor Studying c-span transcripts of his testimony years ago, I came away with a great deal of respect for that man's linguistic abilities. In fact, I was not prepared for just how skilled and clever he could be- he's a borderline genius, imho. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29407564) |
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Date: February 16th, 2016 3:50 PM Author: Brass violent brunch (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29843822) |
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Date: February 16th, 2016 3:57 PM Author: apoplectic bat-shit-crazy property Check you emails. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29843863) |
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Date: January 24th, 2018 5:52 PM Author: Stirring Faggotry Locus To: Paul Wolfowitz
CC: Doug Feith, Steve Cambone
From: Donald H. Rumsfeld
Date: November 23rd 2001
Re: Lists
We ought to think through what are the bad things that could happen, and what are the good things that could happen that we need to be ready for in both respects. Please give me a list of each.
Thanks,
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