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send birthday card to ex bf?
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:06 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag By "ex bf" i mean that I cheated on my bf with him, then cut off contact since he lives across the country and I'm still with my current bf. Wrong or stupid to send a card? He wanted to maintain contact when I stopped talking to him 3-4 months ago. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682847) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:09 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Not only should you not send the card, but you're a dumb fucking whore. I cannot believe you're even considering this. Die. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682871) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:14 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag It's mostly because I am in love with him and cannot get him out of my head, but whatever. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682906) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:15 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Then why are you with the current bf? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682915) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:16 AM Author: adventurous ultramarine organic girlfriend typical whore (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682919) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:17 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw I'm giving her presumed innocence for the time being. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682926) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM Author: vibrant gay stage I think it's too late for presumed innocence once you've confessed. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682932) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:19 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Innocence from dumb whoredom though. I'm pretending there's a rational explanation until she gives me some feeble bullshit. Do I know it will be feeble bullshit? Of course. But I want to extend the olive branch of pretending there's some kind of rational explanation she can give. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682947) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:34 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef There's never a rational explanation for why you cheated on your bf. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683040) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM Author: adventurous ultramarine organic girlfriend uh she has a bf even though she likes another dood. and cheated on him... how is she not a typical whore? |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag Too complicated to explain here.
Consensus seems to be to leave the other guy alone, so that is what I will do. I've tried to get news of him through mutual friends, but have not been able to :-( |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:21 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw "Too complicated to explain here."
Bullshit! |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:24 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag I didn't say that I am special. However, this relationship is special to me.
Breaking up with my bf would be incredibly hard since we share pets, possessions, a lease, and I dislike confrontation. Also, it would kill him.
I know that I have neither my emotions nor my life in order. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:26 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw oh no, not the PETS. Nobody in this history of relationships has ever ever ever ever shared PETS.
The other shit is pretty manageable. This is pathetic. Are you in law school? |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:27 AM Author: Hilarious chapel Don't even pretend to care about your boyfriend. You think he would be upset if you broke up? How about if he found out you loved another and were sleeping around on him?
Admit it, you don't want to break up because he pays for shit, and you can just sleep around. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:29 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag Ha! He makes me pay the rent with my school loan even though he has a job. He doesn't pay for shit. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683013) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:31 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw ALL the rent? or just half of it? You've already been established as a liar by your own admissions, so I don't know how much of this I buy. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683022) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:34 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag He just paid the rent in the first time in 6 months after I threw a big fit, so I guess he pays about 1/6 of the rent.
I am not a liar, though I have certainly omitted to tell him about this. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:35 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "I am not a liar, though I have certainly omitted to tell him about this."
Semantics. You were completely dishonest. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:37 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw or 1/2, since a year has 12 months, and you paid the first 6. 6/12 = .5 or 50%. Again, even if it took some coaxing, you're going in exactly half. Stop trying to pin this on him, you're the deplorable piece of shit who fucked and loved someone else, never told your bf and now want to send a BIRTHDAY CARD to said fuckbuddy. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683053) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:39 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag He is not planning to pay for every month from now on. If I am lucky, I might be able to get him to pay for every other month (which would be fair)
Fuckbuddy is the last word that I would use in this context. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:42 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw "He is not planning to pay for every month from now on." Did he tell you this? Are you assuming? Or are you making this up?
If I shouldn't call him a "fuckbuddy," then please, tell me what word I should use so as to avoid offending your delicate sensibilities. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:47 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag Yes, he has specifically indicated that he resents paying the rent.
You may call him whatever you like, but FB seems inaccurate given that we have feelings for each other. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:56 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw But he pays it. So that argument is gone. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683146) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:59 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag Um, he did pay it this month since I had a few unexpected expenses that came up and I threw a huge fit. My point here is that I am not using him for his money. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683162) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:09 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw And my point is that even if you have to complain, he pays his share, making your original bitching about the lease and his contribution null and void. Stop fucking arguing and break up with him already. You should have stopped ruining lives with your own and now you have to fuck his up too with your actions, you miserable little wench. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683200) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:11 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag You seem oddly bitter. Have you ever cheated on someone? Been cheated on? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683203) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:16 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Getting cheated on is every guy's worst nightmare. Its never happened to me though. Don't know about dracula, but it doesn't matter whether it happened or not. Just the thought is horrible. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683223) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:48 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "He is not planning to pay for every month from now on. If I am lucky, I might be able to get him to pay for every other month (which would be fair)"
Therefore, you have a financial interest in stringing along the poor bastard who calls himself your bf. If there's a hell you can bet you're going there.
"Fuckbuddy is the last word that I would use in this context."
You fuck him but he's not your bf. Fuckbuddy is as good a term as any.
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:54 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag I could probably cover rent if he moved out. I have not taken that kind of action because I am not sure that it would be the right decision, I am terrified of how he will respond, and the prospect of the enormous confrontation and ongoing fight that would follow is also terrifying. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683130) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:58 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Surely you realize this relationship is doomed. Its better for everyone if it happens sooner than later. Especially if you meet another guy or restart communication or worse with the guy you cheated with and he finds out. Seriously, he will likely beat the crap out of you and frankly, most males will think he was right. Just end it now.
There is no way staying with him can be the right decision. Any chance you had of working out ended that night. If you disagree, then tell your bf the truth and let him decide if he wants to continue. 99% chance that he ends it. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:59 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw I wish we had more info and could e-mail this thread to both men involved. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683167) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:01 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Yep. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683175) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:03 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag The other guy would likely not be shocked by any of it. I am not sure what the point would be.
My bf would be very upset, but telling him would not really accomplish anything. I was at fault, but he has not been perfect, either.
It is funny to be in a situation where my one wrong is considered grounds to killself/be beat up/etc. regardless of the circumstances leading up to the incident. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:07 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "I was at fault, but he has not been perfect, either."
Say this to him and he'll probably kill you or beat you into a coma. Don't say that.
"It is funny to be in a situation where my one wrong is considered grounds to killself/be beat up/etc. regardless of the circumstances leading up to the incident."
Its that kind of "wrong." No one cares about your circumstances. All you had to do to avoid being in your position was make one phone call saying it was over. Instead, you betrayed his trust in an unforgivable way. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:14 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag "Say this to him and he'll probably kill you or beat you into a coma. Don't say that." That is very frightening, and likely true. He has grown to be very scary when angry in the past year or two.
I appreciate everything you have had to say here. Though you obviously think that I am a horrible person, you have responded helpfully. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:20 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "Though you obviously think that I am a horrible person, you have responded helpfully."
Honestly, I think if he found out and beat you within an inch of your life he'd be justified. But in reality I think this would be best for no one. The advice I give you is best for both of you. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:32 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Yet you mention the difficulty of splitting up stuff, having a joint lease, etc. in your post. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683026) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:46 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag That is why I said it was a complicated situation. If you want a more detailed explanation, one follows:
I've been with my bf for 5 years. Our relationship was great to start, and maybe I made too many commitments so that now everything in our lives is inextricably connected. He has become controlling, pissy, and never wants to have sex with me. This drove me away from him.
I then went to another state across the country to work for a few months, then we moved to a new location together. While in the other state, I became best friends with this other guy, and then the cheating occurred. I had to leave a day or two later.
Since then, nothing has improved with my bf. He is very mean to me half of the time, apologizes and acts nice the other half of the time. I feel trapped and as a result am missing the other guy. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:54 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "I've been with my bf for 5 years."
Ugh...
"Our relationship was great to start, and maybe I made too many commitments so that now everything in our lives is inextricably connected."
So time to separate those items. Couples married for 30 years manage to do it. People with kids do it. You can do it too. You have an obligation to do it.
"He has become controlling, pissy, and never wants to have sex with me. This drove me away from him."
So why didn't you just break up with him?
"I then went to another state across the country to work for a few months, then we moved to a new location together. While in the other state, I became best friends with this other guy, and then the cheating occurred. I had to leave a day or two later."
Here's the issue - if you called your bf the night before and said "look, we don't have sex, we don't get along, hence, you and I have no relationship" then no one would have faulted you. Instead, you cheated on your bf and never told him. Now you live with him again, continue to have a relationship which he would certainly not have if he knew the truth. If you have any dignity or self-worth or at least concern for your safety then I suggest you leave now. Seriously, break it to him tomorrow morning, then make sure one of you packs your things and leaves.
"Since then, nothing has improved with my bf. He is very mean to me half of the time, apologizes and acts nice the other half of the time. I feel trapped and as a result am missing the other guy."
This doesn't help your case at all. If you don't get on with your bf then end it. That doesn't excuse cheating in any way, shape, or form.
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:57 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag I didn't say that it excused it. I am not happy about it, and I do not think that it is right. However, though it is not excusable, I think that this is why it happened. I am frankly shocked to discover that I have the capacity to do this sort of thing.
Your advice seems fairly sound, though. Thanks for your perspective. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:05 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "However"
There are no howevers or buts here. It doesn't matter why you did it. Seriously. I don't care if he was the biggest asshole in the world. No man deserves that. You leave him and then you can do gangbangs, star in porn, slut it up more than Paris Hilton, whatever.
"I am frankly shocked to discover that I have the capacity to do this sort of thing."
Right, and maybe in your next relationship you'll know what not to do, not that you know you are more than capable of doing the worst things imaginable. But this relationship is finished.
"Your advice seems fairly sound, though. Thanks for your perspective."
I'm a guy. All guys will have a somewhat similar perspective on this. I guarantee that this will coincide to your bf's perspective. Just end it, for both your sakes. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:34 AM Author: Hilarious chapel Seriously. If you pay all the rent, how is there a lease problem? You can just kick him out. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683039) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:31 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "Breaking up with my bf would be incredibly hard since we share pets, possessions, a lease, and I dislike confrontation."
Unbelievable. In other words, you're a selfish bitch that found the perfect victim.
"Also, it would kill him."
Secrets are a funny thing - sooner or later they get out. The longer you let this stew, or if God forbid he founds out from someone else, the worse the reaction will be. I'd worry about yourself in that case. Just end it now before something bad happens. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:24 AM Author: Hilarious chapel There's nothing complicated about it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682974) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:25 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Too bad we've moved away from scarlet letters and stoning? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682983) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:17 AM Author: vibrant gay stage get therapy (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682927) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Or a gun. You know the rest. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682935) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:53 AM Author: cream lettuce not only should you send the card, you are a dumb fucking whore. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683122) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:10 AM Author: adventurous ultramarine organic girlfriend slit your throat, nigger bitch. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682879) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:15 AM Author: vibrant gay stage wait, you mean you slept with someone NOT your boyfriend?
Don't send the card. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "wait, you mean you slept with someone NOT your boyfriend?"
Credited. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Send the card.
Then kill self with a suicide note to your bf explaining that you're a cheating whore. TY. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:18 AM Author: adventurous ultramarine organic girlfriend 179 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682941) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:21 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag The situation is more complicated than you make it sound. I was definitely wrong, but my actions were precipitated in part by various relationship troubles ranging from being constantly rejected for sex to being treated badly. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682958) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:22 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw still waiting for an explanation. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682966) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:24 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "The situation is more complicated than you make it sound."
I guarantee you its not. You cheated on your bf. Don't make it worse by pretending that was somehow "not that bad."
"I was definitely wrong, but my actions were precipitated in part by various relationship troubles ranging from being constantly rejected for sex to being treated badly."
Fine, so dump your current bf and go be with someone else.
Does your bf even know? |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:26 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag No. He would freak out and act scary, probably break things or hurt himself. Telling him could not possibly yield good results for anyone involved. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682987) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:27 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw :D offers a useful solution to this. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683001) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:28 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Wow, you are shit. Listen, do your bf a favor and let him go. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683003) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:51 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag Sometimes I think that this would be the best option, but then I worry that it might be a mistake. I do not know how to tell when a relationship is really over. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683108) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:00 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "but then I worry that it might be a mistake."
That's your selfish bitchy self talking. Listening to that part of you will lead you to a world of pain sooner or later.
"I do not know how to tell when a relationship is really over."
Let me help you. When you cheat on your bf of 5 years then its over. Frankly, you should have never moved back in with him. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:32 AM Author: exhilarant filthpig pistol Is he rich? Sue him. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683029) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:54 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag no. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683137) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:25 AM Author: Hilarious chapel You got angry at your boyfriend and had yourself a combination vengeance/self-pity fuck. That's not complicated in the slightest. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682985) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:28 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag We were having a long distance relationship at the time and my relationship with the other guy developed out of a friendship. It was probably a bad idea, but was in no way a vengeance or self-pity fuck. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683007) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:33 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "It was probably a bad idea"
Probably? You think? |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:38 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Correct. It was a stupidity fuck. Not surprising, after seeing how this thread has developed. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683057) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:49 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag It was stupid, but unfortunately means a lot to me even though several months have passed since it happened. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683095) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:55 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Then the performer is as dumb as the action itself. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683141) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:07 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag Very insightful. It would be nice if feelings and relationships were as simple as you make them out to be. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683193) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:12 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw They are, if you use well-reasoned thought and consider consequences before acting on impulse. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683206) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:18 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag It wasn't really impulsive. It occurred after a great deal of fretting and concern, and was certainly a conscious decision. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683231) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:14 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Cheating is inherently simple and can virtually never be "complicated." Unless you thought your bf had died but there was a mix-up at the hospital and really he was alive when you had sex with another guy its not really "complicated." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683211) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:15 AM Author: vibrant gay stage that was funny
aim? |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:16 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Yeah, that "Castaway" movie with Tom Hanks where he lived on an island for 5+ years is the only example I can think of where this happened. Not a good sign for her. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683222) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:23 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Yep. Its pretty much never "complicated" even though every female I've seen acts as though their infidelity was "complicated." At least guys have the decency to admit that we just wanted hot young ass and that we deserve what we get. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683244) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:26 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag I think that it is more complicated for women because we attach more emotional weight to just about everything. This guy isn't even objectively hot or anything; we just had a very intense connection. I cannot remember feeling that way about someone before. Surprisingly, it was mutual. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683250) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:49 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef "I think that it is more complicated for women because we attach more emotional weight to just about everything."
But that's not a real complication. You just think its complicated because your emotions are pushing you towards cheating. In reality its perfectly simple - you want to cheat but don't have enough respect for your bf to end it, you cheat. Then its "complicated" as a justification. That's no good.
"This guy isn't even objectively hot or anything; we just had a very intense connection."
Irrelevant. That's no better than "she was objectively a 7/10 but she was really perky and only 18 so I fucked her."
"I cannot remember feeling that way about someone before. Surprisingly, it was mutual."
Again, that doesn't make it complicated. Then you just dump your bf and get together with him.
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:24 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag I heard that movie sucked.
No, this was not the situation. It was more that things were bad, we were separated (physically, not relationship wise) and I felt much happier and better generally, I met the other guy and really fell for him, then everything had to end due to the plans that I had already arranged. Then I was confused and did not know what to do, but seem to have ended up back where I started. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 9:34 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Well that was a good expenditure of time, energy and emotions if you're right back where you started. Brav-fucking-o. Since your relationship has not improved and probably deteriorated further as a result of this, I'd say you're at the same if not higher risk for doing this again if put in a similar situation. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683636) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:22 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Or MySpace bulletin. She should do us all a "favore" [sic]... (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682963) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:20 AM Author: exhilarant filthpig pistol myspace/facebook/AIM msg (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7682955) |
Date: February 28th, 2007 1:23 AM Author: vibrant gay stage I just had amazing sex w/someone NOT my boyfriend!!!
don't be like her. stay faithful this time. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:29 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Its a bit too late for faithfulness. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683010) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:31 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag I am in no way like her. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683023) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:32 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef You're worse. At least she told her bf. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683028) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:33 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Except for the minor fact that you are, in every single meaningful way. Did you really come to a male-dominated message board expecting sympathy? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683035) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:35 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag No. I am just seeking perspectives on the situation. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683044) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:36 AM Author: Pontificating glassy striped hyena roast beef Subject: Just in case she follows imightbeagiant's example: Date: February 28th, 2007 1:06 AM Author: quizas
By "ex bf" i mean that I cheated on my bf with him, then cut off contact since he lives across the country and I'm still with my current bf. Wrong or stupid to send a card? He wanted to maintain contact when I stopped talking to him 3-4 months ago.
(send birthday card to ex bf?) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 1:37 AM Author: exhilarant filthpig pistol Stop flaming her. This is alpha dominating behavior natural in humans. To be complete however, OP must be sired by longdistance fuckbuddy and use her beta boyfriend (and his resources) to raise it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683055) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:01 AM Author: vibrant gay stage Look, if you like the other guy, dump the one you are with and try to get together with him. This isn't complicated. So your current bf won't take it well. Guess what? He'd take you cheating on him and wanting someone else over him even worse. You're even worse than one of those girls that cheats because she's drunk at a bar one night. You have formed an emotional attachment and slept with another man. Your relationship is OVER.
Be very clear on this: you are not staying with your current boyfriend for him. He would be better off without you. If you stay, it is for your own selfish reasons. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:27 AM Author: hyperventilating nowag This is all probably true. Don't worry, I do not have any illusions that I am staying with him purely for his benefit. However, I really do not think that it would do anyone any good to tell him. An ex bf spitefully told me about having cheated on me when we broke up; everyone would have been better off if he'd have kept his mouth shut. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683255) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:30 AM Author: vibrant gay stage I agree. Telling him would not help. But it seems like it's time to leave him. It isn't working, obviously. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683258) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 2:30 AM Author: odious clear hell The card is really the least of your worries. Everything is a big mess already and you have some bigger decisions to make than whether to send a card.
This is like Britney Spears freaking out about whether to smoke a cigarette right now and acting as though its the biggest life choice she has ever had to make. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 9:48 AM Author: Beady-eyed flatulent stag film I was cheated on long ago and now nothing turns me on more than cheating or helping someone cheat. nothing. what a fucked up world i live in. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683680) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 9:52 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw How long ago? It's an interesting phase. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683689) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 9:55 AM Author: Beady-eyed flatulent stag film In 2002. Since then if I learn a girl has a BF she immediately looks ten times hotter. Also while dating or in a relationship... well you know the rest. I obviously enjoy sex with the person I'm with, but it feels so much better and I'm so much more into it if someone's getting fucked over on the side. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683698) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 9:56 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw 1) you will be an excellent lawyer 2) is cheating really that easy? I've never helped anyone do it, but it seemed like more of an option with girls in longer relationships who were getting bored rather than when they were starting off and happy with the person they had. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 10:06 AM Author: Beady-eyed flatulent stag film 1) ty
2) Its not easy, but you can usually learn who is likely to do it by the circumstances surrounding your meeting. A girl with a BF in another city visiting friends in your city and going out to bars/clubs is 10x more likely to cheat than the one who is flirting at bars/clubs with you but has a BF in the same town. I'm not saying I do it all the time, just that when it happens.. well just imagine the best sex you've had. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 10:08 AM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Gotcha. I thought you were describing a serial situation where they were your primary targets. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683757) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 10:10 AM Author: Beady-eyed flatulent stag film Hopefully I'll get over it some day so that I can have a healthy, fruitful, and succesful marriage. If not, then whatev, family life is overrated. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683767) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 10:11 AM Author: Galvanic twinkling uncleanness No.
Twat. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 10:26 AM Author: stubborn azn dilemma Hi saltybabe! (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7683834) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 6:56 PM Author: topaz misanthropic kitty If this ex-boyfriend had feelings for you, he'd be in a long-distance relationship with you, or at least he would be expressing some degree of feelings for you. If he's not doing any of those things, then he doesn't feel that way about you and you should get over it.
Also dump your current boyfriend. You're not doing him any favors if you're dating him while in love with another man.
With regard to the card, send it if you want. You already like the guy. Don't be surprised if he does nothing or fails to respond, though. I sent a birthday card and burned CD to a male friend that I had feelings for at the time and he never even acknowledged that he received it. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 8:39 PM Author: hyperventilating nowag He implied that he would have moved to be near me. The only reason we stopped communicating is that I told him that I could not handle our relationship, and that I thought that it was wrong. He also felt guilty, but not enough to want to cut off contact...
It is possible that he would not respond at this point. Sending it would probably be a bad idea, because it might hurt him. I keep telling myself that I would have problems with any relationship, and just have different problems with him. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 8:50 PM Author: Flirting Deranged Bbw Then maybe stop getting into relationships? Just a suggestion. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7687408) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 8:55 PM Author: hyperventilating nowag This is probably the credited response. I feel like I have to beat them off with sticks sometimes, though. It's hard NOT to be in a relationship. (Mostly kidding, but not entirely)
If I could handle FB relationships, maybe I would pursue this course of action (not getting into real relationships), but I think that I would get attached. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 7:12 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy lay wow Fish really took this personally. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=587418&forum_id=2#7686784) |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 7:12 PM Author: Comical yellow fat ankles it looks like fish and dracula were pretty hard on the girl in this thread. i'd say... fuck it, go ahead and send the card. you've already cheated. current relationship is going nowhere, but you feel trapped/obligated. why not see if he's still interested? |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 8:53 PM Author: hyperventilating nowag I still may; I am trying to decide whether it would be worth it to remind him of me (assuming he cares). The last communication we had, he told me that he is there for me if I ever need anything.
E-mailed a mutual friend to reconnoitre. |
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Date: February 28th, 2007 10:57 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface That you're a whore is already established as is your stupidity. I read through about 80% of the thread and am absolutely surprised that no one had by then pointed out the obvious: the dude you cheated with doesn't want your skank ass and you're delusional if you think otherwise. If he wanted anything to do with you, contact would be have already happened either through normal channels or through the friends you've desperately tapped.
News flash: he knows you're a cheating piece of shit and his only interest was in turning you out. Move on with your life, but at least have the decency to do the right thing with your current boyfriend. |