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NicoBlue reviews Theaetetus' method
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:35 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage Ok, I just took a steamer. Decided to give Thea's notoriuos arm-between-legs method a try.
First the positive:
1. I realize now why you didn't understand how we thought the balls could get in the way. It's a matter of sitting position. As rear enterers, we're used to leaning forward on the seat. So the asshole is really more back than down. Hence, quite a reach. I slid back a bit and sat more upright and was able to reach without any problem. Well, almost no problem. But I digress...
2. There is no question that Thea's method is superior in terms of initial cleanliness. This will be addressed in greater detail in the "and now the bad" section.
And now the bad:
1. My fucking wrist kept bumping against the front of the toilet. This can't be sanitary.
2. When I leaned back, my hog slid to the side and a little bit of piss dripped on my thigh. No big deal. Just something I noticed.
3. This is the kicker. It's great for the first couple of wipes. There is virtually no risk of smearage because you're practically pinching the poo away from your anus. You aren't rubbing it to clean it... obviously rubbing it is more likely to spread the mess rather than do away with it. So for the first couple, I may switch to Thea's method. BUT BUT BUT... You absolutely cannot get as clean in the late stages using the pinch between legs method versus the wiping from behind method. No matter how many times I pinched, I was still getting a fresh dallop of mud on the toilet paper. I realize now that this is because the risk of a finger breaking through the paper and sliding directly into the mess is so great that really digging in to clean up is in impossibility. So after about 4 or 5 tries, I switched to my original method and found that I was clean very quickly. And just to be sure, I went back and did a Thea pinch at the end to make sure it wasn't a matter of my method being unable to even get the poo, but that wasn't the case. The pinch revealed no lingering mess.
So, my final assessment is that both methods have their place. I may use Thea's method from hereon for particularly messy feeling episodes. I think the best possible technique might be a combining of the two. Pinch between legs until the greatest deal of mess is eliminated, then switch to back door entry for the final cleanup. |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: white stirring locale it's sad that this thread will probably get 100 responses when people get back from lunch. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#500997) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: Cracking coral milk I like the hybrid approach idea. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501001) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive I don't. It's too much work. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501004) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive I think I will print this out. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501002) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:40 PM Author: spectacular pearly home jap Good review. I've realized though, to Thea's credit, that most of our gripes would be fixed if you kept the method forever and got good at it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501017) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:41 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive I have tried it. There's no getting around the penis/ball problem without unnatural contortions. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501029) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:45 PM Author: spectacular pearly home jap I agree, but since it's all he knows and has found a way, it seems natural. Like in prison, if you were forced to get used to anal sex with big dudes, you would get used to it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501070) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:47 PM Author: maroon geriatric space organic girlfriend same here. I felt like my wrist was rubbing against my balls. That isn't what I want to happen. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501092) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:49 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage Right. Your wrist rubs your balls, then as you pull away, the outside part of your wrist bumps the rim of the toilet. Which is filthy. But with practice, I think those problems can be eliminated. Or at least greatly reduced. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501112) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:52 PM Author: spectacular pearly home jap It's like learning to do something lefty. Takes awhile but eventually would feel natural. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501136) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:56 PM Author: maroon geriatric space organic girlfriend actually that is a pretty good analogy. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501176) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:00 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive I had to hold my junk up to my stomach with one hand and wipe with the other. Toolish. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501212) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:03 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage But afterward you smell your hand and you know how your boys smell. Kill two birds... (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501253) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:43 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage I'm afraid I agree. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501058) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:44 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive Maybe you guys have different toilet seats or something.
My toilet makes me feel fat. |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:45 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage Laugh (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501075) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:49 PM Author: swashbuckling infuriating mother this has been my objection against thea's method from the beginning. harrison, what are your thoughts on my plop conundrum please. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501110) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive Your plop conundrum? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501155) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:56 PM Author: swashbuckling infuriating mother there's a sparse plop! thread down the list. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501173) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: Mint aromatic pocket flask idiot Thank you for this. I appreciate the effort.
One thing I don't understand though. How is the risk of breaking a finger through the paper any greater with one method over another? The paper is the same weight, strength and thickness regardless of approach.
Also, you don't keep pinching. You switch to wiping after the major dung dollops are gone. But it's not a unidirectional wipe. You can wipe front to back, back to front, even side to side. Add a swirlie kind of thing if you like.
EDIT: Oh, and doesn't your wrist/arm collide with the back of the toilet seat for your method? How is that any more sanitary than bumping in front? |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:57 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage The reason is that with your method, you fold the paper over. Which I agree is initially cleaner. But with my method, I bunch. Now I recognize that this is also a debateable strategy, but bunching allows you to wipe as hard as you want with literally no risk of break through. And it's impossible to bunch your way. It's really the folding that I don't like as much for the second half of the wiping, and because your method requires folding... (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501182) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:01 PM Author: Mint aromatic pocket flask idiot Hmm. I don't see why bunching is disallowed my way. Not that I would ever bunch for any reason, but I don't see why it's automatically incompatible.
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:02 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage Have you seen a bunch? It's far to big to squeeze between your legs and up into that crevasse with any sort of dexterity. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501246) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:57 PM Author: maroon geriatric space organic girlfriend please never describe the wipe as a "swirl" thanks. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501189) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:02 PM Author: Mint aromatic pocket flask idiot Heh, sorry. I thought it seemed an appropriate way to describe it given the topic. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501242) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 9:00 PM Author: Gay place of business OK, this is probably going to mark me as a freak, but I'm ok with that. I have short arms and an aversion to shoving my hand anywhere near the bowl. Thus, I stand before I wipe. I usually go in from the front, but occasionally I'll attack things from around the side. You do, admittedly, get some smearage when you get up and your cheeks come together. But I think the pros outweigh the cons for me. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328291) |
Date: May 17th, 2004 1:53 PM Author: Marvelous Indian Lodge Newt I just refuse to try something new, I fear change...especially when it comes to my ass. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501145) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: spectacular pearly home jap comes to your ass (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501157) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: Marvelous Indian Lodge Newt yes, I am also gay. thanks for reminding me. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501165) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:35 PM Author: Canary cumskin these were the days (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328150) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:38 PM Author: maroon geriatric space organic girlfriend probably one of the best sequence of threads ever. I think the blank wants her blank back threads were pretty funny too.
Hey ___ Nancy Regan wants her Glasses back or something like that. |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:44 PM Author: Cocky galvanic house philosopher-king tootise roll owl. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328199) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:47 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive What moniker did you have back then?
This was a fantastic bump. |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: out-of-control charcoal roommate background story check your mail. either one of them (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328215) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: Canary cumskin Rear_Admiral_Darth_Butt_Monkey (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328217) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:43 PM Author: bronze brethren elastic band Is Thea posting as XOXOHTH Commissioner? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328195) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:45 PM Author: out-of-control charcoal roommate background story he may very well be, does xoxohth commisioner post very much? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328202) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:46 PM Author: bronze brethren elastic band Sorry, left out a crucial "a" - is that him up there? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328205) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: out-of-control charcoal roommate background story I'd assume so, I think I remember Thea posting in this thread. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328211) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:49 PM Author: bronze brethren elastic band I wonder if he snuck back under that name. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328221) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:50 PM Author: out-of-control charcoal roommate background story yeah, he obviously did, but I don't really remember XOXOHTH Commissioner posting very much (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328230) |
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Date: September 15th, 2004 9:21 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage That's thea. I remember his response. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1342560) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: House-broken trump supporter It is him. Theaetetus: tried y'all's fucking neanderthalish wiping method |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:49 PM Author: bronze brethren elastic band I wonder who you are. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328222) |
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Date: September 15th, 2004 9:20 PM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage I'd forgotten about this. Probably my best post ever. Well done. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1342552) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 1:36 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy parlour depressive (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#2921568) |
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Date: January 24th, 2006 12:02 PM Author: Nudist kitchen goyim (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#4900163) |
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Date: March 6th, 2006 11:53 AM Author: comical wrinkle blood rage i miss thea (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#5261913) |
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Date: March 6th, 2006 12:07 PM Author: flesh abusive prole me too. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#5261989) |