Yesterday we were talking and I mentioned offhand that if she "knows anyone in the Chinese government," that I'm "available" to "help them out with anything they need." We work in computer stuff so I thought maybe I could give them our Salesforce data or something or whatever computer info it is that's valuable these days

She looked at me funny and said "what??" in a shocked and offended tone. I kind of panicked and said "well maybe you and I could start a romantic relationship too, like to make it plausible, so no one suspects anything. Or at least have sex a few times." She rolled her eyes and turned around and walked back to her desk

I was worried all day yesterday that I might get in trouble with HR for this but then she texted me this morning asking if I'm free to get tapas this weekend. I think it worked bros. I'm gonna be rich and able to achieve early retirement

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5922164&forum_id=2#50255891)

But then of course being my retardedly congenial self, she said hi to me at a bookstore I was browsing at and our longish chat led to exchanging numbers, quite awkwardly in a cute Hallmark romcom kinda way because we both tried to offer ours at the same time initially

I didn’t think anything of it because it seemed more like flirting with a classmate you’ll never see again after the class together with different majors on a big UC campus, so I didn’t have any non-PG thoughts when she texted me 10 minutes later: “wanna be fb?”

My literal unironic reaction which she loved bringing up in non-PG contexts for the rest of the semester: “you mean facebook friends?” 😋

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5922164&forum_id=2#50255995)