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Today is the day I was going to propose to my future wife

I had been dating the same girl for 7.5 years. We had a trip...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
you can't see it, but i'm pointing and laughing.
180 crusty office
  08/04/10
Fuck you bro
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo
Twisted ivory useless brakes box office
  08/04/10
y didnt you just tell her you were planning on proposing in ...
slimy insecure dingle berry heaven
  08/04/10
would have been a waste of a potential poast
ruddy bateful crackhouse alpha
  08/04/10
LOL WHAT?
Twisted ivory useless brakes box office
  08/04/10
Her reasons for breaking up basically revolved around three ...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
1 is bullshit. 3 sounds right.
Amethyst Exhilarant Market Philosopher-king
  08/04/10
3 is the real reason. She just wanted to fuck around and did...
Brilliant home boltzmann
  08/04/10
This. If 2 was the real reason, OP could have told her to...
Boyish onyx immigrant
  08/04/10
She comes from a very traditional family and her mother woul...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
You fully deserved this then.
Aromatic Bonkers Orchestra Pit Deer Antler
  08/04/10
Why do you say that? I just didn't want to be pressured by t...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
I've been in the girl's position before and eventually dumpe...
Boyish onyx immigrant
  08/04/10
Really? I posted some more information below. I'm not sure a...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
omfg i hope this is flame
Mind-boggling Generalized Bond International Law Enforcement Agency
  08/04/10
me too
Metal gaped nursing home
  08/04/10
Me, too, because it's not particularly poignant or tragic.
Vibrant macaca university
  08/04/10
I haven't told her because I thought it would be pathetic an...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
she became a woman scorned probably around year 4
Iridescent heady hall organic girlfriend
  08/04/10
i hope my bf proposes to me this way.
diverse stage roommate
  08/04/10
I hope you grow old alone and spiders start living in your v...
Vibrant macaca university
  08/04/10
lol
Twisted ivory useless brakes box office
  08/04/10
misery loves company. enjoy being ugly and lonely for the re...
diverse stage roommate
  08/04/10
lol
Mind-boggling Generalized Bond International Law Enforcement Agency
  08/04/10
pwned
Citrine Locus Internal Respiration
  08/04/10
pretty good if this is not cut/paste.
Mentally impaired trust fund headpube
  08/04/10
What is it like dating someone longer than most people are m...
Indecent pervert
  08/04/10
I thought it was great...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
future wife? you mean ex-gf
Coiffed overrated cruise ship mental disorder
  08/04/10
Background: We met freshman year of college. We lived on ...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
aw hell no. ain't no way this is getting read
irradiated insane public bath roast beef
  08/04/10
i read it. i have trouble believing that a 7.5 year relation...
diverse stage roommate
  08/04/10
I believe a lot of long-term relationships end over somethin...
Indecent pervert
  08/04/10
Tl;dr: we tried going to separate graduate schools and doing...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
lololol
maroon titillating locale
  08/04/10
bad flame
Metal gaped nursing home
  08/04/10
What? Why is it so hard to believe people could wait 7.5+ ye...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
The details sound made up.
Metal gaped nursing home
  08/04/10
they aren't
Vivacious disrespectful love of her life bawdyhouse
  08/04/10
WARNING: THIS IS A FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR POST!!
Vibrant macaca university
  08/04/10
If only...
Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison
  08/04/10
ok, my heart's not in it, i just don't have the capacity to ...
Vivacious disrespectful love of her life bawdyhouse
  08/04/10
yeah i was pretty sure this was from the interwebs. still fu...
diverse stage roommate
  08/04/10
tbf, it's from today, and as far as i can tell, it's real. a...
Vivacious disrespectful love of her life bawdyhouse
  08/04/10
No one on XO would call their girlfriend "drop dead gor...
Puce step-uncle's house
  08/04/10


Poast new message in this thread



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:55 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

I had been dating the same girl for 7.5 years. We had a trip planned to go to Europe for three weeks. Today would have been our last day in Paris. I was going to take her to the steps of the Sacre-Cauer and ask a random tourist to take a picture of the two of us with Paris in the background. But, I was going to tell the tourist what was going to happen and to keep taking pictures. Then, while the tourist was taking pictures, I was going to ask my girlfriend to marry me. Unfortunately, she broke up with me a month ago because she couldn't wait any longer. Since then she has started seeing other people.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705315)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:57 PM
Author: 180 crusty office

you can't see it, but i'm pointing and laughing.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705326)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:57 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

Fuck you bro

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705335)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:58 PM
Author: Twisted ivory useless brakes box office

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705342)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:57 PM
Author: slimy insecure dingle berry heaven

y didnt you just tell her you were planning on proposing in a month if thats really why she dumped u

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705333)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:57 PM
Author: ruddy bateful crackhouse alpha

would have been a waste of a potential poast

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705338)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:58 PM
Author: Twisted ivory useless brakes box office

LOL WHAT?

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705349)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:59 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

Her reasons for breaking up basically revolved around three things: 1) I never got to know her friends, and that annoyed her, 2) she didn’t think I would ever marry her and that was a problem for her, and 3) she wanted to "have fun."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705355)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:01 PM
Author: Amethyst Exhilarant Market Philosopher-king

1 is bullshit. 3 sounds right.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705395)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:01 PM
Author: Brilliant home boltzmann

3 is the real reason. She just wanted to fuck around and didnt want to be saddled to ur dick anymore, bro

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705399)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:03 PM
Author: Boyish onyx immigrant

This.

If 2 was the real reason, OP could have told her to "expect a ring soon" or something like that.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705429)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:04 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

She comes from a very traditional family and her mother would pressure her almost every day into breaking up with me because I hadn’t married her yet. It was a more subtle pressure at first, making little comments here and there, but over time it grew into a concerted effort. Its not that her mom didn’t like me, I got along with her parents very well, its just that women want their daughters married and I guess she sensed I wouldn’t do it. Anyway, this got to my ex and she would talk to me about marriage. I kept firm in my position that our futures were too uncertain. To me, and I mean no offense to anyone else, marriage has always been permanent institution (everyone I know comes from families that have been together for 25 years or more). I felt that if we were to get married, the financial pressures caused by our uncertain futures and gigantic debt loads would crumble us. I just kept telling her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me and how I am fully committed to her, but couldn’t risk the chance of being a 20-something divorcee.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705444)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:07 PM
Author: Aromatic Bonkers Orchestra Pit Deer Antler

You fully deserved this then.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705478)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:08 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

Why do you say that? I just didn't want to be pressured by the debt we both had and have that be the reason our marriage failed.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705504)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:14 PM
Author: Boyish onyx immigrant

I've been in the girl's position before and eventually dumped the BF for a combination of 2 and 3, although 3 was more like "meet a guy who's just like my BF but is less shy of marriage" than "dating around".

At this point, are you interested in winning her back? There's a decent chance that she still has feelings for you but dumped you because she thought she was wasting her time on someone that would never get her a ring. If you can prove her wrong on that point and do so sooner rather than later (so she doesn't have time to fall for someone else), there's still a good chance you could save this.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705580)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:17 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

Really? I posted some more information below. I'm not sure at this point.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705603)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:58 PM
Author: Mind-boggling Generalized Bond International Law Enforcement Agency

omfg i hope this is flame

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705343)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 10:59 PM
Author: Metal gaped nursing home

me too

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705369)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:01 PM
Author: Vibrant macaca university

Me, too, because it's not particularly poignant or tragic.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705392)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:02 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

I haven't told her because I thought it would be pathetic and/or pointless. The fact that she just cut me out of her life so completely and with such deliberate speed really showed that she probably wasn't the girl I should marry anyway.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705410)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:04 PM
Author: Iridescent heady hall organic girlfriend

she became a woman scorned probably around year 4

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705445)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:03 PM
Author: diverse stage roommate

i hope my bf proposes to me this way.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705419)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:04 PM
Author: Vibrant macaca university

I hope you grow old alone and spiders start living in your vagina and crawling out when you sleep.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705436)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:05 PM
Author: Twisted ivory useless brakes box office

lol

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705448)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:06 PM
Author: diverse stage roommate

misery loves company. enjoy being ugly and lonely for the rest of your life, you old hag.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705467)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:09 PM
Author: Mind-boggling Generalized Bond International Law Enforcement Agency

lol

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705519)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:11 PM
Author: Citrine Locus Internal Respiration

pwned

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705544)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:04 PM
Author: Mentally impaired trust fund headpube

pretty good if this is not cut/paste.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705441)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:05 PM
Author: Indecent pervert

What is it like dating someone longer than most people are married?

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705450)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:07 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

I thought it was great...

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705485)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:08 PM
Author: Coiffed overrated cruise ship mental disorder

future wife? you mean ex-gf

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705502)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:13 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

Background:

We met freshman year of college. We lived on the same hall. I fell in love with her the first day I met her. It took her considerably longer. We dated on and off (more on than off) throughout college. During that time, I never really hung out with her friends because she always told them the bad stuff about our relationship, and they hated me. Plus, none of my friends were friends with them, so we never had an opportunity to get along.

After college, she moved to my city, in part, to be with me. Things were great for about a year. Then, she told me she felt that I wasn’t there for her emotionally, and broke up with me. She started dating a minor league baseball player the following weekend. A month later, she realized he was a tool and came back to me. Of course, I was a dick about it and held it against her for a while, but eventually I got over it. Things were pretty amazing for the next 1.5 years. We went through a lot but got along extraordinarily well.

Then, we both went back to graduate school (but at different schools). The first year was hard. I’m not as book smart as she is, so it took me longer to get through my work and I spent pretty much every weekend in the books. During this time, we were both exceptionally busy and she surrounded herself with new friends from her school that I did not know, and never got to know really well because the insane amount of work I had. Despite the level of work, we managed to have dinner together most nights and spend at least one night a weekend together. Sometime in the fall of that year, I sort of became her de facto live in boyfriend. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any money. In fact, I had -$49k to my name. Because she was going to live in that apartment regardless of my presence, I somehow convinced her to let me get by without paying rent. After a short while she got pissed at me about this, but I managed to placate her by buying my own groceries etc. (not to mention always doing chores and whatnot).

The second year of school was even harder for me than the first. I had to focus on getting published in addition to my normal level of school work, so I somehow had even less time than I did before. She, too, had a lot of work, but she also had much more free time than I did. She spent this time with her friends who I still didn’t really know all that well. Although this was a strain, we were still happy, never fought, always had fun together and never really complained about anything.

Then, this summer, we both got jobs at different places. Her job required her to go out every night with 40 people the same age as her and from some of the best schools around the country. My job required me to work 90 hours a week and never have a waking second to myself. Two weeks into this experience, we basically never saw each other anymore. I would come home at 12:15am most nights from work, miserable, hungry and exhausted. She would come home at 12:30am from bars talking about how much fun she was having. I am a little unclear about what her social life entailed because we never talked about it since we never saw each other, but I assume that since our chosen profession skews heavily toward males, it involved many young guys from rich families and ivy league schools hitting on her and impressing her all over the place (by the way, she is drop dead gorgeous). Well, anyway, even though we barely saw each other, we agreed to go to Europe (a long-held dream of ours), and purchased very expensive plane tickets. Afterward, she refused to lift a finger to help plan the trip, so I had that additional burden on top of everything else. A couple weeks later, she wanted me to go to her hometown over Fourth of July, but I couldn’t go because I had to work all weekend. She told me that was the last straw and told me to move out. I protested, claiming the decision was rash, and she said I had to leave so she could have space. Interpreting this (stupidly or not) as her wanting to spend time with other guys without the threat of being caught, I told her that if she went forward with her decision, it was over. Needless to say, she helped me pack my bags.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705562)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:16 PM
Author: irradiated insane public bath roast beef

aw hell no. ain't no way this is getting read

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705596)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:18 PM
Author: diverse stage roommate

i read it. i have trouble believing that a 7.5 year relationship would end that way so i'm calling flame.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705620)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:23 PM
Author: Indecent pervert

I believe a lot of long-term relationships end over something small. Why? Because people who drag things out like this don't even like each other anymore and are waiting for that final "YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU!" moment.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705690)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:18 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

Tl;dr: we tried going to separate graduate schools and doing the long distance thing, she met some other guys. Guess it didn't work out.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705625)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:20 PM
Author: maroon titillating locale

lololol

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705652)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:17 PM
Author: Metal gaped nursing home

bad flame

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705608)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:20 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

What? Why is it so hard to believe people could wait 7.5+ years to get married? Like I said, we weren't financially ready.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705647)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:23 PM
Author: Metal gaped nursing home

The details sound made up.



(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705701)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:27 PM
Author: Vivacious disrespectful love of her life bawdyhouse

they aren't

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705740)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:18 PM
Author: Vibrant macaca university

WARNING: THIS IS A FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR POST!!

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705618)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:21 PM
Author: Appetizing Goal In Life Garrison

If only...

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705664)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:24 PM
Author: Vivacious disrespectful love of her life bawdyhouse

ok, my heart's not in it, i just don't have the capacity to flame. it was a true story though:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cxgsb/today_is_the_day_that_i_was_going_to_propose_to/

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705706)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:27 PM
Author: diverse stage roommate

yeah i was pretty sure this was from the interwebs. still fun to read though.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705747)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:30 PM
Author: Vivacious disrespectful love of her life bawdyhouse

tbf, it's from today, and as far as i can tell, it's real. at least it's not old flame.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705776)



Reply

Date: August 4th, 2010 11:43 PM
Author: Puce step-uncle's house

No one on XO would call their girlfriend "drop dead gorgeous" even if it was true. We're too cynical.

Some random internet beta calling his gf that makes her a 6.5 at best.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1387241&forum_id=2#15705979)