"But I don't wanna go poopoo in the potty!"

"That is your right as an autonomous individual."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22970713)

"Yes, the child was committing violence against my person, eating my pizzas, refusing to poopoo in the potty, etc. I therefore exercised my right to abandon him."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22970737)

"manuel, i think we're doing pretty well here. performance is down somewhat, but the cost savings are significant over ex-son. unfortunately, it's generally a, um, economio abajo, so we will not be in a position to offer levantares this year.

"the good news is that our pizzamining operation has increased its productivity by 25%. this 20% increase has increased stocks by 15%, so we are planning to pass this increase of 10% along to you. please enjoy a 5% increase in your pizza ration.

"unfortunately, this will also require a cutback of 25% in your allowance and de-worming allowances. please endorse this el contracte. yes, make an 'equis' at the bottom. thanks very much, and have a great day."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22973060)

For best reading experience, please use Canadian accent throughout. "Eh-quis"

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22973075)

from: CGM

re: Stuffed Animal Audit

------------------------

Darlene,

In carrying out my quarterly stuffed animal audit, I was unable to find Mopsy. My records show that Mopsy was retained on the termination of Ex-son and the previous audit detected it as well.

This is an event of significant concern because Mopsy is not yet fully depreciated, and if it cannot be located, we will have to write it off. CGM LLC is not having its best year and I am worried that our underwriting syndicate will not look favorably on disappearing assets.

I am sorry to have to put things this way, but based on my investigation, I believe that you may have embezzled Mopsy and provided it to Ex-son. As you know, this is a violation of our LLC agreement and of various federal and provincial statutes.

I am willing to overlook this incident, but there are conditions. First, the enclosed Marital Relations Rider to Marriage Agreement should be executed and returned to me (as consideration, I am providing the enclosed tube of Astroglide). Second, the enclosed Contribution Agreement should be executed and returned to me along with the accounting value of Mopsy in cash. Third, four copies of the enclosed Side Letter Regarding Stuffed Animals should be countersigned by you for provision to the syndicate.

Best,

CGM

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22973149)

"But mom, why?"

"I signed a contract."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22973171)

"we do have a position available in the kolkata office. if you're interested, sign here, and i'll go heat up the spoon."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22970940)

to: CGMexson@gmail.ca

Ex-Son, please note that according to the Form of Termination Notice attached to that certain Filial Contract between the Parties dated as of April 20, 2005 (as amended and restated by the Amendment to Filial Contract of April 20, 2010, the "Filial Contract") as Exhibit K, the percentage of stuffed animals and comic books you are allowed to retain on the occurence of a Filial Termination Event is determined by the Filial Age at Default divided by the Filial Age at Maturity. As such, please take no more than four ninths of the stock of each when clearing out your ex-room.

Let me know if you have any further questions or concerns. Thanks and have a great day.

--

CGM@CGMLLC.co.ca

Please note that, according to Canada Revenue Service circular 230, nothing in the above is intended to serve as tax, economics, history, literature, race relations or weightlifting advice, and any reliance on the above for such is prohibited by federal law, eh.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22972943)

"Here is a master promissory note. Sign there please. I will charge interest at the rate of three skittles per week, the entire sum of skittles to be repaid over the course of 12-payments. Let me just subtract my 10% commission fee, print the amortization schedule and here is your candy."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22970872)

"That depends on your values."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22970878)

"Look on the bright side, we didn't violently stab you with needles when you were an infant incapable of giving consent.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22970900)

"I cannot exclude you from, at minimum, smelling the pizza I wind up getting and potentially seeing how appetizing it is."

"Um?"

"I'm just not sure why you think that a good, the purchase of which I've paid for through my own exclusive efforts, should be given to you gratis. Do you at least have some kind of exchange contemplated in virtue of which you might at least satisfy Kaldor-Hicks under these circumstances?"

"Daddy can we have pizza?"

"I can."

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#22984357)

"I don't know, son"

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2225230&forum_id=2#23416987)