Date: December 17th, 2013 7:37 AM Author: Razzmatazz party of the first part range
jfc I never thought about it like this. it's a shame--i really used to like this song
Each year, we’re deluged with the same chipper songs desperately persuading us to embrace the holiday spirit, and each year they seem to hit radio earlier and earlier. We hear “Deck the Halls” while we’re throwing out jack-o’-lanterns. We hear about chestnuts roasting on an open fire while we’re carving the turkey. Pretty soon we’ll be hearing “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” when it’s 80 degrees. That might actually be the only way that particular song could get worse.
Always a popular duet since its creation, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” has become a fresh chestnut in recent years. It was written in the 1940s by Frank Loesser, who performed it at parties with his wife. He wrote the male part as the “Wolf” and her part as the “Mouse.” Eventually Columbia Pictures bought the song and debuted it in the 1949 Esther Williams vehicle “Neptune’s Daughter,” co-starring Ricardo Montalban and Red Skelton. The film features the song not once but twice, sung by two different couples. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” won the Oscar that year for best original song, and since then it’s been sung by anyone who knows a few chords on the piano or who knows someone who knows a few chords on the piano.
Especially for a tune so closely associated with the holidays, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is icky at best, at worst reprehensible: It describes what may be a date rape. Let’s examine the situation: A woman has stopped by to visit a man, and he connives to keep her from leaving. “My answer is no,” she states, but he pours on the charm: “It’s up to your knees out there.” His seductions become increasingly smarmy (“What’s the sense of hurting my pride?”) and eventually sinister. At one point she exclaims, “Say, what’s in this drink?” Is he being generous with the alcohol, or has he slipped her something stronger? At this point, the Wolf and Mouse designations are redundant. It’s all too clear that he’s a predator and she’s prey.
Think I’m overstating it? I’m not the only one who has pointed this out. And I know the counter-arguments, chief among them: The Mouse sounds like she wants to be convinced to stay. She doesn’t want to leave this man and go out in the cold. She is complicit in her own seduction. That’s not an entirely unpersuasive read, although it doesn’t discount the Wolf’s icky insistence: the way he keeps interrupting her, the way he cajoles and ignores her protestations. He’s a cad, and she’s making a huge mistake. The neighbors will gossip and scandalize her. Her family — each of whom she mentions will be worrying about her in this storm — will be devastated and disappointed. Why would anyone want to listen to a woman make a mess of her life, especially at the holidays? Ultimately there’s something sinister about the song’s playful ambiguity, as we’ll never truly know if she wants to stay or if it’s just the roofie talking.
And yet, the song persists year after year. Nearly 70 years after its debut, there are too many versions out there to count. In 1959, Dean Martin perfected the Wolf’s sloshed delivery as he tried to seduce an entire female choir. Ella Fitzgerald was more cat-like in her interpretation of the Mouse; no wonder Louis Jordan wanted her to stay. This year alone we have at least four versions duking it out like Black Friday shoppers wrestling for the last LOL Elmo. Gavin DeGraw tries to de-pants Colby Caillat, and Cee Lo Green and Christina Aguilera put the X in X-mas, although it has all the erotic heat of a “Voice” judges meeting. The saddest version: John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John trying to ruin your fond memories of “Grease.” The best — or at least the least bad: Rufus Wainwright and Sharon Van Etten sounding too sleepy for any hanky-panky on the new compilation, “Holidays Rule.”
Perhaps the pivotal version, however, is the one sung by Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel in the movie “Elf.” That version introduced the tune to a new, wider, younger audience and arguably reestablished it as a seasonal chestnut. It’s a weird, awkward choice for the movie, and the song doesn’t seem to fit the characters: Ferrell’s character, a sort of feral manchild on a sugar binge, is much too innocent for the song’s subject matter, and it lends their scene a weird sexual undercurrent that’s completely out of place in the family film. Nevertheless, the soundtrack includes a new version with Deschanel trying to escape the clutches of Leon Redbone, and she even rerecorded it last year with She & Him, her indie folk-pop band with singer-songwriter M. Ward.
So, why this song? Out of the endless supply of Christmas tunes, why does this weirdly scandalous and ultimately queasy-making tale of nefarious seduction not only survive but thrive during the holidays? Perhaps it’s all that interrupting. Most duets, but especially those around the holidays, tend to sound sterile and distant: As the singers trade verses or engage in some easy harmonies, it often sounds like they weren’t even in the same studio together. It’s more about getting two names together than establishing any sort of chemistry. But with its lyrics-as-conversation and the Wolf’s constant interjections, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” does force some interaction between the vocalists, necessitating some actual chemistry between the couple. They have to interact and engage with one another. You can’t just phone this song in (although many have tried). It offers a weird sense of intimacy, which may be reassuring, even comforting around the holidays but only makes the Wolf’s pursuit of the Mouse that much creepier.
If we have to hear the Mouse make the same mistake every year, even when it’s not all that cold outside, here’s a humble suggestion: Switch the parts. Have the woman play the Wolf and the man play the Mouse. Or have two men or two women sing the song. Play around with the gender roles and sexual orientations. Find new ways to stage this disturbing little playlet. It might not make for the definitive version of the song, but at least it would give a new twist to the drama and might make “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” somewhat bearable again. Probably not.
Christmas is hands down my favorite time of year. Call me a big child, but I enjoy the season thoroughly from Black Friday until Christmas Day. I watch all of my favorite Christmas movies, such as Christmas Vacation and Jingle All The Way, watch old television specials such as Alvin & The Chipmunks and Pee-Wee's Christmas Special, and listen to the continuous stream of Christmas music. Everyone has their favorite Christmas songs (JOSH GROBAN O HOLY NIGHT FTW), and for some couples, it's the lovely duet entitled "Baby, It's Cold Outside."
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" was written in 1944 and has since been recorded by dozens of artists. The premise is simple, and innocent enough at first—a girl is trying to make her way home after a date, but her suitor is trying to convince her to stay due to the inclement weather. However, after further inspection, I've noticed that this song is actually creep-tastic. To prove this, let's take a look at some of the lyrics a little more closely (red lyrics for the female part, blue for the male/date-rapist).
I really can't stay... I've got to go away
Nothing too drastic implied yet, but clearly the young lady is displaying a sense of urgency to return home to her family, especially given the intense storm outside.
Well, maybe just a half a drink more
She displays a maintained level of comfortableness, so perhaps the gentleman isn't as sketchy as I've made him out to be.
Say, what's in this drink
Now things start to get curious. Our heroine suspects that something is in her drink. Maybe our Romeo just whipped her up something a little strong, perhaps involving a nice 100-proof liquor. Or, maybe he's slipped her a little bit of rohypnol. Who can say?
I wish I knew how... to break this spell
You probably need your stomach pumped, sweetheart. At this point I'm assuming you've been roofied, not enraptured by his wily charms.
Baby, don't hold out
No worries, bro, she'll probably pass out in the next ten minutes.
I simply must go... the answer is no
NO MEANS NO... unless you're a professional athlete (see: Kobe Bryant, Ben Roethlisberger)
Well maybe just a half a drink more
Are you serious, bitch?!? You suspected your last drink was spiked... and you're asking for another? Well, at this point, I can only assume that you're going to wake up several hours later... hopefully it doesn't involve having your panties around your ankles in a dumpster.
So, you have to see how this song can be easily misconstrued as a date-rapist's favorite holiday jingle. If you want to feel extra creeped-out, take a listen to the version from the Elf soundtrack featuring Zooey Deschanel and Leon Redbone... her cute, innocent voice matched with his deep bass is a little off-putting.
Date: December 17th, 2013 7:48 AM Author: Chest-beating plum menage
I think the "half a drink more" line is key--it's the whole thing. It proves pretty definitively that women are whores and that this bitch was begging for it.
Date: December 17th, 2013 7:53 AM Author: green naked hell
"If we have to hear the Mouse make the same mistake every year, even when it’s not all that cold outside, here’s a humble suggestion: Switch the parts. ... Play around with the gender roles and sexual orientations. Find new ways to stage this disturbing little playlet."
Date: December 26th, 2014 12:50 AM Author: green naked hell
Sorry to ruin everyone's Xmas but not sure if this had been posted, libs have in fact played around with the genders for this song. Report for mandatory peggings.
Date: January 25th, 2015 3:21 PM Author: Supple aquamarine windowlicker
"Here's the pitch. We've got George Michael as the Wolf and the Vienna Boys' Choir as the Mouse. We'll be using real alcohol and rohypnol on the boys, and the recording studio doubles as a porn set, so we're fully prepped to capture any spontaneous chemistry among the stars."
*thundereous applause*
*behind the scenes orgy footage ends up winning multiple acade,y awards*
Date: December 17th, 2013 10:10 AM Author: Self-absorbed black woman
I love how this shitlib cant help but mix in his fucking memes, making oh so subtle global warming references throughout. "When its 80 degrees" where do you live shitlib? Hawaii? Because I live in the South and its 29 degrees. "when its not so cold outside" Then why does your picture show you in a wool overcoat and a scarf shitlib?
Date: December 17th, 2013 11:06 AM Author: Purple rehab tattoo
you know what's a fucked up song? Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. basically kids taunt anotehr kid until an adult steps in, then they all kiss his ass and everything's ok. wtf is the message there
Date: December 17th, 2013 1:17 PM Author: ruddy gas station
Concur with the result but not the reasoning/recitation of facts--the message is that it's OK to pick on and shun a disfigured freak unless his disfigurement provides some enterprise rescuing utility and the boss/overlord shines favor on him. Then, and only then, is the freak worthy of being loved, and we won't dwell on the fact that boss/overlord was at best checked out and at worst complicit in ostracizing the freak before his disfigurement became useful.
Date: December 17th, 2013 12:37 PM Author: well-lubricated blue home
Shitlibs are on the same footing as Muslim terrorists but don't realize it.
It was that very song -- Baby It's Cold Outside -- that radicalized Qutb while in the US and led him to found the Muslim brotherhood.
The book The America I Have Seen (1951) by Egyptian Islamist Sayyid Qutb describes a scene at a church dance Qutb attended in Greeley, Colorado: "The dance hall convulsed to the tunes on the gramophone and was full of bounding feet and seductive legs ... Arms circled waists, lips met lips, chests met chests, and the atmosphere was full of passion....And the Father chose. He chose a famous American song called 'Baby, It's Cold Outside,' which is composed of a dialog between a boy and a girl returning from an evening date."[16] Qutb was a leading thinker of the Muslim Brotherhood and his book had a major impact on Islamist views concerning America.[17][18]
The fatal flaw in this reasoning is that it's written by people hideous on both the inside and the outside who fundamentally don't get courtship rituals. One of the best parts of life is that sexual tension between a man and a woman when you haven't even made out but you know it's heading to the bedroom. And women love when men ravenously pursue them because they get turned on more by desire than anything, and men actually love when women act demure because they don't come off as a slut and it makes you feel like you're not dealing with the neighborhood bike (whether true or not).
These hideous creatures will never understand these concepts. When a woman playfully says "I shouldn't" with a smirk, then stays for another drink, every normal person knows what this means. But for these strident fugs, this is rape. They would prefer contracts.