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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
| spectacular fighting immigrant parlor | 06/11/14 |
| massive 180 hall | 06/11/14 |
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| aggressive shimmering forum | 04/04/15 |
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| Costumed razzmatazz home | 06/13/14 |
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| Costumed razzmatazz home | 07/24/16 |
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| glittery underhanded place of business gaming laptop | 01/29/18 |
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| Canary sickened space fat ankles | 12/10/18 |
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| drunken business firm | 08/05/15 |
| slap-happy boyish twinkling uncleanness cuckold | 06/13/14 |
| Out-of-control Cocky Main People Love Of Her Life | 06/21/14 |
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| Salmon appetizing mexican | 06/21/24 |
| topaz cruel-hearted corn cake | 02/09/25 |
| Out-of-control Cocky Main People Love Of Her Life | 03/27/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: spectacular fighting immigrant parlor (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: massive 180 hall You should've been a comedy writer (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: up-to-no-good aqua plaza alpha (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: wonderful stead (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: massive 180 hall Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: wonderful stead LOL (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: spectacular fighting immigrant parlor laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: aggressive shimmering forum (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: low-t library toaster (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: Costumed razzmatazz home (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: massive 180 hall (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: motley maize hominid (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Cerebral coldplay fan orchestra pit (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: Titillating gunner preventive strike holy shit (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: talented insanely creepy elastic band Holy shit screaming/vomiting (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: massive 180 hall JFC (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: low-t library toaster i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: wonderful stead Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: massive 180 hall TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: massive 180 hall (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: Costumed razzmatazz home Poast of the year (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Violet Digit Ratio this is scholarship (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: low-t library toaster Loool 180 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: Ruddy headpube suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: rose center juggernaut I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: Titillating gunner preventive strike whoa (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: motley maize hominid (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: slap-happy boyish twinkling uncleanness cuckold (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: spectacular fighting immigrant parlor (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: slap-happy boyish twinkling uncleanness cuckold (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: Navy high-end rigor 180 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: drunken business firm (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: curious twinkling cumskin cruise ship (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: marvelous bipolar locale (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: dark kitchen lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: glassy clown How did I miss this? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: arousing flesh theater idiot (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: crystalline doobsian step-uncle's house (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: frum lay (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: passionate sanctuary there is some true comedic talent on this bort (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: sadistic public bath circlehead lol damn dude, nice work (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: crystalline doobsian step-uncle's house the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: Trip Lodge Liquid Oxygen curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: ocher den incel (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: impertinent razzle menage people who are hurt (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: drunken business firm (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: curious twinkling cumskin cruise ship (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: cracking police squad hissy fit (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: marvelous bipolar locale (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: carnelian soul-stirring personal credit line bawdyhouse (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594696) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: Costumed razzmatazz home (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#31014517) |
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM Author: Pink Beta Crackhouse (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#32018277) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM Author: hairraiser nubile senate (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33453658) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: Narrow-minded range ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: Canary sickened space fat ankles (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381941) |
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Date: January 29th, 2018 10:12 PM Author: glittery underhanded place of business gaming laptop (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#35273685) |
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: excitant stage dysfunction (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#36044055) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: Canary sickened space fat ankles (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381939) |
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM Author: Vengeful Resort this poa was clearly made w/ genuine love (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#38436191) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: wonderful stead (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39324796) |
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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM Author: slap-happy boyish twinkling uncleanness cuckold this is the best poast on xo (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39352602) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: Mewling exciting national security agency giraffe (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: charcoal supple jew goal in life (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: ponyboy curtis (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle flirting candlestick maker (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: wonderful stead (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: contagious carmine brunch (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: rusted school Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: massive 180 hall (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745763) |
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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:09 PM Author: pale multi-colored property pistol (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25790620) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:09 PM Author: aggressive shimmering forum (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619838) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: drunken business firm (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487533) |
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