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Donald Rumsfeld Writes Like a Biglaw Partner
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 7th, 2015 11:23 PM Author: Odious French Shitlib Orchestra Pit April 7, 2003 11:46 AM TO: Doug Feith FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Issues w/Various Countries
We need more coercive diplomacy with respect to Syria and Libya, and we need it fast. If they mess up Iraq, it will delay bringing our troops home.
We also need to solve the Pakistan problem.
And Korea doesn’t seem to be going well.
Are you coming up with proposals for me to send around?
Thanks.
(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645333) |
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Date: April 7th, 2015 11:29 PM Author: Primrose Ticket Booth Please solve peace in the Middle East.
Thank (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645403) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:37 AM Author: magenta space Just make the task monumental to see how hard they can push themselves! (Forthcoming article) (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645931) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:47 AM Author: magenta space *is up a week straight cut and pasting shit together*
*sends it to Mr. Rumsfeld*
*never hears back* (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645965) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:51 AM Author: Boyish jew Doug Feith to jr. associate:
FW: Issues w/Various Countries
pls handle (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27645983) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 12:58 AM Author: shimmering parlour macaca Will do. Thank. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646005) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:10 AM Author: slap-happy french chef tattoo Associate emails secretary for some help:
"AUTOMATIC REPLY OUT OF OFFICE: AS A REMINDER I WILL LEAVING AT 1PM ON THURSDAY FOR A PEDICURE IF U NEED SOME THING CONTACT LASHONDA IN WORD PROsESING HAVE A BLESSED DAY" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646045) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:12 AM Author: Startling Den lol, lashonda (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646053) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:13 AM Author: cowardly chartreuse jewess property (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646059) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:09 AM Author: histrionic topaz rigpig multi-billionaire this is pretty much what would happen IRL (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646270) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:19 PM Author: Outnumbered becky (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649736) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 4:24 PM Author: brindle stag film background story laughing out loud in my office reading this one (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650251) |
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Date: October 17th, 2023 11:04 PM Author: Out-of-control theatre toaster (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#46949270) |
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Date: November 26th, 2025 3:12 PM Author: Amethyst station (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#49463308) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:05 AM Author: cowardly chartreuse jewess property Thank you for thinking of me. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646031) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:04 AM Author: cowardly chartreuse jewess property One could almost get the impression that our leaders (both Secretaries of Defense and Partners) have no comprehension whatsoever of the underlying issues (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646025) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:41 AM Author: effete lime telephone (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646182) |
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Date: December 18th, 2016 3:37 AM Author: cracking chrome temple nowag Or they hunt and peck type and can't be bothered to fully express themselves via email. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#32170344) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:11 AM Author: slap-happy french chef tattoo lol xoxo Franks
"General Tommy Franks, who led both the 2001 invasion of Afghanistan and the Iraq War, once called Feith "the dumbest fucking guy on the planet."" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646046) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:12 AM Author: cowardly chartreuse jewess property (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646049) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:12 AM Author: Slate pungent casino lol (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646054) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 7:57 AM Author: Thirsty yellow spot Not flame: https://books.google.com/books?id=FHn-M8fZ96MC&pg=PT160&lpg=PT160&dq=dumbest+bastard+doug+feith&source=bl&ots=9Wzjio1gTY&sig=Kie1hQeDIgPyxQUCMdtaFjchLvk&hl=en&sa=X&ei=bRclVfqPGIWTsAXB1YCADQ&ved=0CCAQ6AEwAQ (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27647189) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 11:17 AM Author: talented national the emphasis is a little more entertaining:
Franks ROUTINELY denounced Feith as: "the dumbest bastard, dumbest motherfucker on the face of the earth"
(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27670042) |
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Date: May 8th, 2015 4:58 AM Author: cocky water buffalo (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27847116) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:15 AM Author: Hideous Roast Beef Hunting Ground Under appreciated in this trove of 180s is the absurd subject line SUBJECT: Issues w/Various Countries (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646066) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:17 AM Author: Slate pungent casino (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646072) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:19 AM Author: slap-happy french chef tattoo It's the bow that ties this together as senior partner style.
The only thing more fitting would be if the subject was just "POLICY" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646079) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:23 AM Author: Hideous Roast Beef Hunting Ground Cr (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646105) |
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Date: January 18th, 2017 4:56 PM Author: vivacious school cafeteria ladyboy (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#32401148) |
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Date: September 27th, 2017 1:04 AM Author: appetizing medicated stock car (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#34306543) |
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Date: October 17th, 2023 11:07 PM Author: Carnelian Twinkling Uncleanness (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#46949279) |
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Date: November 26th, 2025 3:13 PM Author: Amethyst station (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#49463313) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:24 AM Author: Passionate free-loading private investor home Where are we on the siege of Fallujah? We know how hard you've all been working but we really need this done by COB tomorrow. Thanks. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646109) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:44 AM Author: bonkers forum friendly grandma & he's almost as proliferous.
in that morris doc about him they say at one point that he wrote like 20,000 fucking memos when he was SOD.
20,000. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646197) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:46 AM Author: sepia skinny woman dilemma So? I know people who've written 30k tweets. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646202) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:48 AM Author: bonkers forum friendly grandma dope (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646209) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: Iridescent Gas Station (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27648975) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:03 AM Author: Milky Laughsome State Ceo (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27646250) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 10:03 AM Author: rough-skinned site haunted graveyard Winston Churchill was famous for sending out hundreds of requests like this for updates on weapon designs, campaign planning, recruitment, etc.
The merciful difference is that all replies were required to fit on one page because Churchill actually read all of them. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27647599) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:49 PM Author: Hideous Roast Beef Hunting Ground Biggest difference is that Churchill was a mother fuckin boss while Rummy was a faggot (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649080) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 1:50 PM Author: magenta space Rumsfeld is pretty fucking alpha bro. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649089) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:01 PM Author: Hideous Roast Beef Hunting Ground Alphas can be faggots too (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649171) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 5:10 PM Author: Emerald institution mad-dog skullcap Indeed. He began many of these memos with "Pray tell me...,” “Pray explain," "Pray, etc..." I start my emails this way. If it's good enough for WSC, it's good enough for me. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650714) |
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Date: November 26th, 2025 3:14 PM Author: Amethyst station (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#49463314) |
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Date: January 12th, 2023 12:36 PM Author: transparent stage masturbator uh, that sounds pretty different. sounds like he was sending out detailed requests about specific issues, as opposed to "Look into how we can get some troops onto continental Europe" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#45778706) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:04 PM Author: Splenetic Patrolman It's amazing to me that this level of official actually does send emails like this that are so straightforward about such broad, macro issues. It's like, if you saw a movie where someone playing the Secretary of Defense sent an email like this, or said it over the phone ("I need an update on the situation in Syria, dammit!"), you'd roll your eyes because you'd assume it's not a realistic portrayal of what must surely be much more nuanced, detailed discussion IRL at those levels. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649194) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:33 PM Author: effete lime telephone (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649365) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:34 PM Author: umber glittery idiot pervert protip: this is how all high-level doods operate. the emperor truly has no clothes. everybody is faking it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649377) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:36 PM Author: Thirsty yellow spot Bush literally was unaware that there were Sunni and Shiite Muslims in Iraq b4 the invasion. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649396) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:37 PM Author: umber glittery idiot pervert I mean more like CEOs and shit too. For every Steve Jobs there's probably 20 dipshits writing "Sales #s low, sales up plz. BIGBONUS if u do." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649405) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:38 PM Author: Thirsty yellow spot (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649414) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:21 PM Author: Outnumbered becky lol I've read emails in discovery related to employment lawsuits. These type of emails are common from higher ups to sales people (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649757) |
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Date: April 17th, 2015 11:33 PM Author: mauve queen of the night (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27711000) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:55 PM Author: Curious degenerate Ljl. Link to this Michael Moore/Daily Kos level retard drivel. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649539) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:10 PM Author: Thirsty yellow spot https://books.google.com/books?id=AMeZaKeV4qYC&pg=PA83&lpg=PP1&focus=viewport&output=html_text (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649693) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:38 PM Author: Curious degenerate More direct of a source than I would have thought but still lol at that Howard Dean lackey. I'm sure Bush might not have had a deep understanding of shia and sunni in Iraq but to say he was "unfamiliar with these terms" is just lolzy. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649879) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:52 PM Author: aggressive cobalt whorehouse sandwich TO: Joint Chiefs FROM: George W. Bush (heh) SUBJECT: RE: Iraq War Diligence
Cheney told me something about a shia and a sunni? Please research and report back.
Thank. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650035) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 4:34 PM Author: Thirsty yellow spot Twist: this was way more due diligence than he actually did. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650343) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 10:24 AM Author: Thirsty yellow spot i guess this is as close as you come to admitting that you were wrong. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27669870) |
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Date: April 17th, 2015 10:02 PM Author: Thirsty yellow spot why did racist party bro / idris elba's alt go pumo? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27710635) |
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Date: May 12th, 2015 10:41 PM Author: hot pearly scourge upon the earth antidepressant drug (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27878618) |
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Date: January 12th, 2023 12:39 PM Author: Cream senate I realized this at some point during my early 20’s and it changed the way I look @ the world. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#45778731) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:33 PM Author: effete lime telephone Sounds like he'd be a pain to work for (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649370) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 2:52 PM Author: Aromatic Citrine Plaza Dopamine That's because he'd probably be one had he opted for law school instead of business. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649519) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:23 PM Author: Chocolate pistol He went to GULC but never graduated. Wasn't aware he went to b-school. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649769) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:12 PM Author: Aromatic Citrine Plaza Dopamine He'd probably be a V5 partner if he didn't go into biz/politics. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649708) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 3:42 PM Author: Lemon twisted theater stage One time the senior associate and I wrote up a list of tasks for a big new matter, with due dates, and sent it to the partner as our suggestions. He called us in separately and chewed us out for usurping his authority. About a week later his long-time paralegal showed us the task memo he had written at the same time we wrote ours, but he hadn't distributed it once he saw ours. The first entry was "identify key issues and write memoranda thereon." We almost died laughing. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27649924) |
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Date: April 8th, 2015 5:31 PM Author: Splenetic Patrolman (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27650909) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 10:05 AM Author: Thirsty yellow spot Estimate this man's dick size. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27669810) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 12:02 PM Author: Fragrant duck-like church Holy shit at usurping authority.
MANY more details and further stories are required (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27670193) |
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Date: April 17th, 2015 9:44 PM Author: Lemon twisted theater stage He was a Chauncey Gardner. He looked and sounded noble but once you figured it out, you realized he had an IQ of 95. He had impressive facial expressions and hand gestures. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27710510) |
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Date: April 11th, 2015 10:57 AM Author: Gold Doctorate Lodge April 7, 2003 11:48 AM
TO: Donald Rumsfeld
FROM: Doug Feith
SUBJECT: Issues w/Various Countries
Will do. Thank (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27669994) |
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Date: April 27th, 2015 10:13 AM Author: wonderful flatulent stage This sort of reinforces my impression of the Bush administration as being led by amateurs at the top. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27769352) |
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Date: May 8th, 2015 9:55 PM Author: hot pearly scourge upon the earth antidepressant drug Defense Department underling who's been watching the clock all Friday afternoon finally gets to 4:48. Two more minutes and he's out of there.
He starts whistling as he hovers his mouse over the Start button, ready to click Start, then Log Off. He pictures the vast weekend ahead of him. Drunk tonight. Sleeping in tomorrow. Shuffling around in a bathrobe until it's time to go chase the hunnies on the DC rooftop scene.
4:49. He starts to do the WWF Bushwhacker walk from a sitting position at his desk. He's so pumped.
4:50. Time to go! See ya, suckas! Just before he can click Start, he notices an Outlook notification of a new email. Fwd: Issues w/Various Countries.
Wtf. He opens it. "Need to see something on this by Monday morning. Thanks." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27851765) |
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Date: May 9th, 2015 2:22 PM Author: Violent Spectacular Point Depressive CRIMINALLY underrated. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#27854733) |
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Date: October 23rd, 2015 3:19 PM Author: hot pearly scourge upon the earth antidepressant drug (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29029487) |
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Date: November 26th, 2025 7:19 PM Author: Amethyst station (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#49464215) |
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Date: August 1st, 2015 1:22 PM Author: saffron razzle dingle berry (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#28456516) |
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Date: August 1st, 2015 1:30 PM Author: domesticated windowlicker This thread made me laugh out loud, and then dry-heave with anxiety (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#28456573) |
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Date: December 18th, 2015 11:43 AM Author: saffron razzle dingle berry once you stop caring only the laughing will happen :) (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29407308) |
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Date: December 18th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: hot pearly scourge upon the earth antidepressant drug (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#29406604) |
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Date: January 24th, 2018 5:52 PM Author: Stirring Irate Brunch Associate To: Paul Wolfowitz
CC: Doug Feith, Steve Cambone
From: Donald H. Rumsfeld
Date: November 23rd 2001
Re: Lists
We ought to think through what are the bad things that could happen, and what are the good things that could happen that we need to be ready for in both respects. Please give me a list of each.
Thanks,
https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/4357755/11-L-0559-First-Release-Bates-1-912.pdf#page=634 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2850072&forum_id=2#35228655) |
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