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NicoBlue reviews Theaetetus' method
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:35 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo Ok, I just took a steamer. Decided to give Thea's notoriuos arm-between-legs method a try.
First the positive:
1. I realize now why you didn't understand how we thought the balls could get in the way. It's a matter of sitting position. As rear enterers, we're used to leaning forward on the seat. So the asshole is really more back than down. Hence, quite a reach. I slid back a bit and sat more upright and was able to reach without any problem. Well, almost no problem. But I digress...
2. There is no question that Thea's method is superior in terms of initial cleanliness. This will be addressed in greater detail in the "and now the bad" section.
And now the bad:
1. My fucking wrist kept bumping against the front of the toilet. This can't be sanitary.
2. When I leaned back, my hog slid to the side and a little bit of piss dripped on my thigh. No big deal. Just something I noticed.
3. This is the kicker. It's great for the first couple of wipes. There is virtually no risk of smearage because you're practically pinching the poo away from your anus. You aren't rubbing it to clean it... obviously rubbing it is more likely to spread the mess rather than do away with it. So for the first couple, I may switch to Thea's method. BUT BUT BUT... You absolutely cannot get as clean in the late stages using the pinch between legs method versus the wiping from behind method. No matter how many times I pinched, I was still getting a fresh dallop of mud on the toilet paper. I realize now that this is because the risk of a finger breaking through the paper and sliding directly into the mess is so great that really digging in to clean up is in impossibility. So after about 4 or 5 tries, I switched to my original method and found that I was clean very quickly. And just to be sure, I went back and did a Thea pinch at the end to make sure it wasn't a matter of my method being unable to even get the poo, but that wasn't the case. The pinch revealed no lingering mess.
So, my final assessment is that both methods have their place. I may use Thea's method from hereon for particularly messy feeling episodes. I think the best possible technique might be a combining of the two. Pinch between legs until the greatest deal of mess is eliminated, then switch to back door entry for the final cleanup. |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: Marvelous Carmine Idea He Suggested Brethren it's sad that this thread will probably get 100 responses when people get back from lunch. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#500997) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: Bonkers queen of the night locale I like the hybrid approach idea. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501001) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman I don't. It's too much work. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501004) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman I think I will print this out. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501002) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:40 PM Author: provocative son of senegal Good review. I've realized though, to Thea's credit, that most of our gripes would be fixed if you kept the method forever and got good at it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501017) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:41 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman I have tried it. There's no getting around the penis/ball problem without unnatural contortions. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501029) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:45 PM Author: provocative son of senegal I agree, but since it's all he knows and has found a way, it seems natural. Like in prison, if you were forced to get used to anal sex with big dudes, you would get used to it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501070) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:47 PM Author: exhilarant claret resort organic girlfriend same here. I felt like my wrist was rubbing against my balls. That isn't what I want to happen. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501092) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:49 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo Right. Your wrist rubs your balls, then as you pull away, the outside part of your wrist bumps the rim of the toilet. Which is filthy. But with practice, I think those problems can be eliminated. Or at least greatly reduced. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501112) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:52 PM Author: provocative son of senegal It's like learning to do something lefty. Takes awhile but eventually would feel natural. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501136) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:56 PM Author: exhilarant claret resort organic girlfriend actually that is a pretty good analogy. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501176) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:00 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman I had to hold my junk up to my stomach with one hand and wipe with the other. Toolish. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501212) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:03 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo But afterward you smell your hand and you know how your boys smell. Kill two birds... (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501253) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:43 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo I'm afraid I agree. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501058) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:44 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman Maybe you guys have different toilet seats or something.
My toilet makes me feel fat. |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:45 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo Laugh (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501075) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:49 PM Author: Lemon Market Regret this has been my objection against thea's method from the beginning. harrison, what are your thoughts on my plop conundrum please. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501110) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman Your plop conundrum? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501155) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:56 PM Author: Lemon Market Regret there's a sparse plop! thread down the list. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501173) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy Drab Trump Supporter Thank you for this. I appreciate the effort.
One thing I don't understand though. How is the risk of breaking a finger through the paper any greater with one method over another? The paper is the same weight, strength and thickness regardless of approach.
Also, you don't keep pinching. You switch to wiping after the major dung dollops are gone. But it's not a unidirectional wipe. You can wipe front to back, back to front, even side to side. Add a swirlie kind of thing if you like.
EDIT: Oh, and doesn't your wrist/arm collide with the back of the toilet seat for your method? How is that any more sanitary than bumping in front? |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:57 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo The reason is that with your method, you fold the paper over. Which I agree is initially cleaner. But with my method, I bunch. Now I recognize that this is also a debateable strategy, but bunching allows you to wipe as hard as you want with literally no risk of break through. And it's impossible to bunch your way. It's really the folding that I don't like as much for the second half of the wiping, and because your method requires folding... (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501182) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:01 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy Drab Trump Supporter Hmm. I don't see why bunching is disallowed my way. Not that I would ever bunch for any reason, but I don't see why it's automatically incompatible.
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:02 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo Have you seen a bunch? It's far to big to squeeze between your legs and up into that crevasse with any sort of dexterity. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501246) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:57 PM Author: exhilarant claret resort organic girlfriend please never describe the wipe as a "swirl" thanks. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501189) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 2:02 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy Drab Trump Supporter Heh, sorry. I thought it seemed an appropriate way to describe it given the topic. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501242) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 9:00 PM Author: Geriatric odious spot dog poop OK, this is probably going to mark me as a freak, but I'm ok with that. I have short arms and an aversion to shoving my hand anywhere near the bowl. Thus, I stand before I wipe. I usually go in from the front, but occasionally I'll attack things from around the side. You do, admittedly, get some smearage when you get up and your cheeks come together. But I think the pros outweigh the cons for me. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328291) |
Date: May 17th, 2004 1:53 PM Author: bearded church building I just refuse to try something new, I fear change...especially when it comes to my ass. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501145) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: provocative son of senegal comes to your ass (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501157) |
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Date: May 17th, 2004 1:54 PM Author: bearded church building yes, I am also gay. thanks for reminding me. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#501165) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:35 PM Author: Mahogany Ticket Booth Toilet Seat these were the days (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328150) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:38 PM Author: exhilarant claret resort organic girlfriend probably one of the best sequence of threads ever. I think the blank wants her blank back threads were pretty funny too.
Hey ___ Nancy Regan wants her Glasses back or something like that. |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:44 PM Author: spruce dysfunction travel guidebook tootise roll owl. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328199) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:47 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman What moniker did you have back then?
This was a fantastic bump. |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: Titillating Turquoise Location check your mail. either one of them (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328215) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: Mahogany Ticket Booth Toilet Seat Rear_Admiral_Darth_Butt_Monkey (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328217) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:43 PM Author: iridescent prole feces Is Thea posting as XOXOHTH Commissioner? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328195) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:45 PM Author: Titillating Turquoise Location he may very well be, does xoxohth commisioner post very much? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328202) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:46 PM Author: iridescent prole feces Sorry, left out a crucial "a" - is that him up there? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328205) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: Titillating Turquoise Location I'd assume so, I think I remember Thea posting in this thread. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328211) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:49 PM Author: iridescent prole feces I wonder if he snuck back under that name. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328221) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:50 PM Author: Titillating Turquoise Location yeah, he obviously did, but I don't really remember XOXOHTH Commissioner posting very much (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328230) |
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Date: September 15th, 2004 9:21 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo That's thea. I remember his response. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1342560) |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:48 PM Author: fluffy cerebral scourge upon the earth It is him. Theaetetus: tried y'all's fucking neanderthalish wiping method |
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Date: September 12th, 2004 8:49 PM Author: iridescent prole feces I wonder who you are. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1328222) |
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Date: September 15th, 2004 9:20 PM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo I'd forgotten about this. Probably my best post ever. Well done. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#1342552) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 1:36 PM Author: swashbuckling garrison patrolman (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#2921568) |
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Date: January 24th, 2006 12:02 PM Author: Unhinged Selfie Digit Ratio (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#4900163) |
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Date: March 6th, 2006 11:53 AM Author: Pink Hairraiser Friendly Grandma Ceo i miss thea (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#5261913) |
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Date: March 6th, 2006 12:07 PM Author: passionate doctorate me too. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=31909&forum_id=2#5261989) |