Date: April 23rd, 2025 1:50 AM Author: Irate Locus
President Donald Trump announced today that U.S. forces will immediately begin bombing Puerto Rico, a U.S. territory in the Caribbean.
"For far too long, Puerto Rico has threatened American jobs and national security, and the day of liberation has arrived," Trump said. "Following the completion of their mission, our troops will hoist the glorious American flag on Puerto Rican soil, leading to a new dawn of freedom on that imprisoned island," he added.
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth leaked the plans from his Yahoo account to his wife's phone, and also shared them with several journalists, foreign diplomats, and random people he knew from high school.