Date: August 18th, 2026 12:30 PM Author: Crystalline Splenetic Goyim Locus
*looks in footlocker, pulls out J Crew for kids summer catalogue, pages stuck together*
"WELL HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK DO WE HAVE HERE?"
*holds magazine between index finger and thumb*
"IT LOOKS LIKE PRIVATE SPACEPORN HAS HIMSELF SOME SEXY READING MATERIAL. YOU FUCKERS ALL DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 100. YOU JERKED OFF TO IT, LET THEM PAY FOR IT!"