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How did Babar the Elephant get so fucking rich?
Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 31st, 2007 11:05 AM Author: light toaster He always off yachting or playing polo and wearing some preposterous blazer.
What an asshole. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:10 AM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business I think the deal is supposed to be that the French raised his standard of living so much by colonising barbaria. now he goes around in hot air balloons and yachts. seriously. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:17 AM Author: light toaster Yeah, I just went to his wiki and there is a section about how the books have been criticized for promoting colonialism.
So, he lived with the French, decided civilization was the new hotness, went back home, named himself governor of an elephant province and bequeathed upon himself a palatial manor and a fleet of yachts? A good gig if you can get it, I guess. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:12 AM Author: Jade Orchestra Pit Siphoning funds from UN relief? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848496) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:29 PM Author: spectacular hairless knife Highly underrated. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848758) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:19 AM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop Didn't he inherit from an old lady? I haven't read the books since I was a kid, but I seem to remember that as a young elephant Babar was wandering around in a city and was adopted by a rich old white lady. She bought him nice clothes and taught him to ride in elevators. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848506) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:21 AM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business When Babar was young and lived in the jungle, his mother was killed by a hunter. The hunter was just about to capture Babar, when Babar quickly ran away into the forest and managed to escape. After a few days, he came across a town with many big buildings. There he met a kind old lady who adopted him. In this town, Babar bought clothes, was educated about the ways of humans and quite enjoyed himself. The years passed by quickly and it wasn't long before 2 years had elapsed since Babar had run away from the forest. He began to miss the jungle and longed to play with his relatives and friends. One day, as he and the old lady were walking down the street, they saw 2 young elephants running along. They turned out to be Celeste and Arthur (Babar's cousins). On seeing them, Babar ran and embraced them. He told his cousins of his life in the town and he decided to return to the forest with his cousins. Meanwhile, Arthur and Celeste's parents were very worried about their children's disappearance. They organised a big search party. A little bird, who had seen the children in the town, reported back to them and told them where their children were located. Then Arthur and Celeste's cross mothers journeyed to the town to fetch them. Once there, they were very relieved to have found them, but scolded them for running away. Babar, Arthur, Celeste and the cousins' mothers decided they'd all travel back to the jungle together. After Babar and the old lady exchanged tearful goodbyes, he packed all his belongings and returned to the jungle.
Once Babar arrived, he was joyfully greeted by the elephants, but became quite shocked when hearing of an illness that had struck the King of the elephants. The king of the elephants had eaten a poisonous mushroom, become seriously ill and then died shortly before Babar had arrived. Cornelius (one of the older elephants) and some other elephant elders had been discussing who should become the new King before Babar had unexpectedly arrived. Cornelius suggested that Babar should become the king and the other elephants agreed. Babar gratefully accepted the honour and said he would marry his childhood sweetheart, Celeste. They had become engaged while travelling back to the jungle. Babar also made Cornelius his general. Then Babar ordered some animals to go and purchase some fine wedding clothes from the nearby town. After the animals had returned with the garments, Babar and Celeste got married and there was a great celebration. They departed Celesteville in a great yellow air-balloon to go on a honeymoon. When they had returned, everyone set to work building a town. After it was built, Babar named it "Celesteville" in honour of the new Queen of elephants, Celeste. From that day onwards, Babar and his wife had many adventures and had 3 children - twins named Flora, Pom and Alexander. In the tv series, they later had a child named Isabelle.
YAAY puppet governments!
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:26 AM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop It's strange what sticks in your head from childhood. I also remember Tintin pretty vividly. Does that mean I have latent francophile tendencies? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848516) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:28 AM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business never heard of it in my entire fucking life and im practically old enough to be on 90210 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848525) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:31 AM Author: light toaster Me either and I read every book in my elementary school library on a snowy afternoon in 1844. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848535) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:34 AM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop It was an old-school comic about a young reporter who traveled the world and solved mysteries with his dog, Snowy. Pretty fantastic actually.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventures_of_Tintin |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:36 AM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business the drawings are exceedingly dull (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848545) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:40 AM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop They were good for their time. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848559) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:53 AM Author: supple macaca I read these (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848610) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:54 AM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop Good stuff, right? Captain Haddock was a childhood hero of mine. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848618) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:40 PM Author: Arousing lavender ticket booth pervert I loved Captain Haddock.
THUNDERING BARNACLES! YOU ICONOCLAST!
Hahaha what a drunk. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:33 PM Author: Crystalline field coldplay fan you read it in french? FUCK U frenchie. asterix was also da bomb though. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848771) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 2:58 PM Author: frozen black woman now see, i had never heard of Asterix until I actually went to France.. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7849475) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 2:57 PM Author: frozen black woman i WORSHIP TinTin. that stuff is great. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7849473) |
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Date: July 13th, 2007 10:29 AM Author: Brass Autistic Coffee Pot Private Investor Racist.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070713/ap_en_ot/britain_tintin |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:30 AM Author: light toaster Fuck Darfur, Celesteville is the greatest geo-political crisis of the modern era.
The tax rate there must be insane. Peasants starving while Babar and Celeste eat Faberge egg omelets and drink liquid gold. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:32 AM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business he married his cousin? wtf? french people are wicked |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:25 AM Author: light toaster His cartoon came on my local affiliate after the morning news.
The motherfucker is mad opulent. He was out yachting with his kid and some stupid rhinoceros. Then they had some guest who didn't know which forks to use at dinner and they got all flustered. Despite weighing like 15,000 pounds they seem to travel exclusively by hot air balloon (which would likely deplete the entirety of the world's propane supply in about an hour and a half).
Something needs to be done about this. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:26 AM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop RHINOS ARE THE ENEMY! (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848518) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:38 AM Author: light toaster King Rataxes?
Oh noes.
Well, Babar was definitely letting his kid hangout with the Rhino. On his fucking yacht none the less. And he ate like 40 sandwiches.
I'm sure Babar was trying to teach everyone something about tolerance or whatever ...but in my eyes it just makes him a filthy race traitor. |
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Date: December 26th, 2007 10:30 AM Author: Mind-boggling plaza queen of the night dying (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#9074240) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:41 AM Author: Big topaz messiness The ivory trade. Babar was a bloody tyrant IRL. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848563) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:44 AM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business i only buy conflict free ivory (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848573) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:46 AM Author: light toaster There is something amusing about the notion of a guy just walking up to an elephant and being like "hey, what's it gonna take for me to get that ivory off of you? $20? $30?" (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848581) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:50 AM Author: Big topaz messiness "Let's deal, big guy. I've got a couple of indian elephants lined up so I can't sit around bullshitting with you all day." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848598) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:02 PM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business I wonder how Mr. Shane would handle the ivory business (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848657) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:03 PM Author: light toaster That would probably be some kind of next level shit we wouldn't really understand.
In retrospect, I'm remiss we didn't inquire when Mr. Shane was about. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:12 PM Author: Multi-colored translucent filthpig elastic band Is there any doubt how YOUR FRIEND Tom MOTHERFUCKING Shane haqndles the ivory trade. Notice that I said "handles," not "would handle." This is because TOM SHANE discreetly treks across the dark cotinent seeking the finest tusks for the discerning consumer that enjoys the finer things in life, such as ivory headed canes and real piano keys. What! Does your FRIEND Tom Shane see a Interpol officer searching for illegal ivory a the airport? He does, but this is easily handled by a small native strapped with plastique. These are the lengths that Tom SHANE goes to to bring you the PUREST and FINEST ivory available. You will not find shitty Narwhale horn or hippo teeth at Tom SHANE'S Motherfucking cozily lighted emporiums. Just real, illegal, illicit and delicious ivory. Stop by, you'll be glad you did. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848901) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:18 PM Author: light toaster Will your graduate gemologist make provisions for me to nosh on monkey brains and relax with a cold glass of snake blood while I pursue your magnificent wares? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848933) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:18 PM Author: spectacular hairless knife Curious George would like me to tell you to go FUCK yourself. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848940) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:21 PM Author: light toaster I'll be eating Curious George's brain with an ivory fork made from Babar while barebacking Raggedy Ann in hell. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848954) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:24 PM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business While you're down there can you get my gameboy back from Ryan White? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848962) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:31 PM Author: spectacular hairless knife The gameboy was not released in the U.S. until August of 1989 and Ryan died in April of 1990. It is doubtful he had one as his parents appear not to have been early adopters. HTH. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848987) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:33 PM Author: light toaster His parents actually did give him one. They also gave him Tetris and told him if he let the blocks get up to the top he would die of AIDS.
Unfortunately, Ryan White wasn't very good at Tetris. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:34 PM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business yeah asshole, he took MY gameboy (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7849003) |
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Date: July 13th, 2007 11:31 AM Author: dark cocky death wish amazing (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8377998) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 2:00 PM Author: Multi-colored translucent filthpig elastic band You have hit on at least one thing. Tom SHANE's wares are indeed wonderous to behold. And indeed, with more graudate gemologists than any other jeweler, your FRIEND, TOM SHANE, will make sure that your visits to his stores are much more comfortable than any visit to a common galleria.
However, TOM SHANE is your FIREND, and friend's don't let friends contract monkey HIV by eating monkey brains. TOM has already faced many dangers to bring you handsome, but affordable, illegal ivory and other precious gems and items. There is no need for you to be at risk. Therefore, your FRIEND, Tom Shane will provide you with an oaky chardonay and A DELICIOUS ASSORMENT of sugar plums, honeyed apricots and cheeses while you bask in the brilliance of the millions of precious items that TOM MOTHERFUCKING SHANE has risked his life to bring you. But no monkey's brains. Chilled snake blood is available upon presentaiton of an AMEX black. |
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Date: July 14th, 2007 5:06 PM Author: coiffed nibblets tank (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8383925) |
Date: March 31st, 2007 11:47 AM Author: Irradiated fear-inspiring stage People take things too seriously on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babar%27s_Kingdom
Babar's Kingdom, also known in French as Le pays des Éléphants (Elephant Land), is a fictional country in Africa consisting of intelligent elephants, which are usually bipedal and civilized. As its name implies, it is ruled by its first civilized citizen, Babar himself. The political regime seems to be an absolute monarchy, but it is yet unknown whether it is hereditary or elective. The court consists of King Babar, Queen Celeste, Royal Princes and Princesses (Pom, Flora, Alexander and Isabelle) Pompadour (who wears an 18th century wig), and a Prime Minister, the old Cornelius, who also serves, as the occasion demands, as Secretary of Defense and a Minister of Foreign Affairs. There is no known Parliament nor legislative body. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:53 AM Author: light toaster I particularly enjoyed the use of the term Sobriquet in this hit piece on King Rataxes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Rataxes |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:55 AM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business wooooooohhhhooaaoowwww that was the most profane wiki entry ever. I must tell you that when I was in barbri last year a flock of nerds were editing wiki full time just like this |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:59 AM Author: light toaster Subtle Lady Rataxes troll. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848646) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:01 PM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop I followed the link to the article on sobriquets. It has a list of well-known sobriquets, including "Turd Blossom -- Karl Rove." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848652) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:02 PM Author: light toaster I had never heard anyone call Robert Byrd "Sheets," but that is awesome. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848662) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:18 PM Author: fiercely-loyal dog poop We'll have to start using these sobriquets in casual conversation. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848721) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:37 PM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business Are you Black? What are your other sobriquets? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848780) |
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Date: March 10th, 2008 2:26 AM Author: Ruby principal's office cuckold "Turd Blossom – George W. Bush adviser Karl Rove"
Heh. It's still there. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 11:55 AM Author: Big topaz messiness Some wikinazi douche probably spent 6 hours checking that writeup for accuracy, too. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848623) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:01 PM Author: light toaster It did result in my clicking through to this, however, which was somewhat worthwhile...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sobriquet |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:31 PM Author: spectacular hairless knife Babar is a cousin fucker. I did not know that. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848764) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:34 PM Author: Vivacious area 180 for this thread (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848773) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 12:37 PM Author: Alcoholic Passionate Indian Lodge Best thread in a long time (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7848781) |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:01 PM Author: light toaster I had actually intended to post this thread a few weeks ago when "No Place Like Home" came on after the morning news.
http://www.treehousetv.com/parents/tvShows/babar/episodes.asp
It was ridiculous. The whole episode was about how this circus freak simply couldn't figure out how to properly exist in the paradigm of floss that defines Babar and his associates. I think he ended up going back to the circus because couldn't figure out how to tie an ascot or something. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 1:45 PM Author: heady nudist heaven Blogged: http://xoxoreader.blogspot.com/2007/03/how-did-babar-elephant-get-so-fucking.html
I tagged it as "humor" although I agree there is an outrage here that must be addressed. |
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Date: March 31st, 2007 2:47 PM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business ty for validating my posts (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7849419) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:09 PM Author: light toaster Bump to see if Michael Fertik will streak to Babar's defense. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884941) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:10 PM Author: Alcoholic Passionate Indian Lodge I wonder what kind of employment opportunties Babar has missed out on due to this thread (probably as the result of some vindictive poor) (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884948) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:12 PM Author: light toaster Fucking strivers and their wholly improvident anti-aristocratic elephant animus. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884954) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:14 PM Author: heady nudist heaven The benefits of French colonization have cleansed Babaria of vindictive poors, HTH. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884963) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:17 PM Author: light toaster Alas, Rhino Land is replete with such vermin, their westernized civilization not withstanding. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884976) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:17 PM Author: Alcoholic Passionate Indian Lodge Barbarians, the whole lot (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884979) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:12 PM Author: sick house Babar was the crown prince of Zamunda and the last king of scottland, apparently. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884956) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:18 PM Author: Irradiated fear-inspiring stage lol (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7884981) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:21 PM Author: Odious Sooty Place Of Business out of all the gems here, this one stuck out upon further review. "Let's deal, big guy. I've got a couple of indian elephants lined up so I can't sit around bullshitting with you all day." (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#7885011) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 2:26 PM Author: light toaster FACTS.
Really, just this "Let's deal, big guy." |
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Date: July 13th, 2007 10:38 AM Author: ungodly idiotic son of senegal "The motherfucker is mad opulent" is my favorite. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8377824) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2007 3:34 PM Author: Brass Autistic Coffee Pot Private Investor (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8055121) |
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Date: July 13th, 2007 10:32 AM Author: hairraiser tan bawdyhouse Was this seriously 4 months ago? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8377808) |
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Date: July 13th, 2007 10:34 AM Author: Brass Autistic Coffee Pot Private Investor Yes.
And apparently all the Tintin apologist have died of latent racism induced double face AIDS since then.... |
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Date: July 14th, 2007 5:22 PM Author: hairraiser tan bawdyhouse Time flies when you're pretending to study for the bar, I guess. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8383975) |
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Date: July 14th, 2007 11:57 AM Author: brilliant pontificating spot keepsake machete http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/235562 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8382872) |
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Date: July 14th, 2007 12:59 PM Author: provocative factory reset button This is my favorite thread for the week.
Oh, other than the "first line of a famous book," which I take credit for. |
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Date: July 14th, 2007 12:59 PM Author: Excitant Aquamarine Shrine Newt This is a classic thread. Best in a long time. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8383154) |
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Date: August 18th, 2007 1:39 PM Author: Sticky histrionic legend rehab mad opulent (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8530695) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2007 5:02 PM Author: rebellious crusty senate Hilarity bump (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8675808) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2007 5:42 PM Author: amethyst range sandwich The rhinos were German right?
The horn was a reference to the Prussian spiked helmet I believe. |
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Date: October 29th, 2007 5:59 PM Author: Mind-boggling plaza queen of the night (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#8827664) |
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Date: December 26th, 2007 10:27 AM Author: Mind-boggling plaza queen of the night :0 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#9074238) |
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Date: March 10th, 2008 2:19 AM Author: adventurous gas station dragon preposterous blazer (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#9456383) |
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Date: May 21st, 2008 10:33 PM Author: lurid anal narrative (son you're too eager) http://www.nybooks.com/articles/17640
I can probably take that punk bitch elephant if only I had a fierce tigress with me *grrrrrrrrrrr* |
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Date: September 8th, 2008 1:05 AM Author: ebony juggernaut never forget. |
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0xCE955F7F2A24fB8A7c3cd6F115F65E016c785EC8 Date: September 22nd, 2008 10:35 AM Author: richard clock i hear he's out on the street after the recent market events (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#10185833) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2008 10:35 AM Author: lemon dilemma fantastic bump (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#10185834) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2008 11:05 AM Author: Aphrodisiac Burgundy Resort I don't know. I don't have any elephant books. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#10185892) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2008 1:35 PM Author: queensbridge benzo (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=605156&forum_id=2#10186314) |