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WTF, someone didn't like my novel excerpt?
Poast new message in this thread
Date: December 11th, 2008 4:11 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=166449
Post by Tabula Rasa on Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:58 pm
Godawful. Break it up.
It was the same feeling he'd experienced as a younger boy when once, during recess with the other schoolchildren, he had boldly proclaimed his superiority. That done, despite his having been warned by the current sixth grade olympiad title holder that he'd eaten too much ice cream and cake, he had insisted on competing anyway. Promptly losing to one of the lesser-known competitors - a wobbly legged, bespectacled nerd - he had then become the laughingstock of his friends and enemies, due solely to his ignorance of the limits of his digestive capacity.
Still Godawful, but at least it scans. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: Dark spot to be fair to whokebe, that suggested revision is much worse than the original. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505299) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry It's an unsalvageable excerpt. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505302) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 6:04 AM Author: magical business firm hunting ground we've been called out. puddy boy. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505344) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 10:49 AM Author: aromatic cordovan turdskin Re: Can someone please critique my excerpt? by Wonderer on Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:26 pm
It's descriptive enough but it's a run on sentence. Hard to read. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 10:53 AM Author: aromatic cordovan turdskin You are making me look pretty prestigious.
I have my own stalker, a creative failure, running around the internet desperately hoping people will dislike my 3 line excerpt.
You can't possibly run around here thinking you aren't some complete loser. Your only supporters here are other losers/faggots like Faen and Julian Shockley, fellow admitted creative failures. Good work.
I think your next task at hand should be to reveal to everyone on the internet that you ran the time traveler schtick and make a website dedicated to all your hilarious ramblings and high brow thoughts that for some reason no one here found remotely interesting or intelligent.
Thanks again. I feel special. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:26 AM Author: bateful yapping pit generalized bond awww, someone has hurt feelings. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505565) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:29 AM Author: aromatic cordovan turdskin Quite the opposite (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505573) |
Date: December 11th, 2008 4:14 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry http://whokebe.livejournal.com/
" What is this?
(Anonymous)
2008-12-10 07:24 am (UTC) Are you for real? Your "excerpt" sucks, and you're definately no Pynchon. Don't compare yourself anymore. " |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:15 AM Author: Turquoise Multi-colored Hall Coffee Pot tyft (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505292) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:17 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry yw (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505293) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:18 AM Author: Turquoise Multi-colored Hall Coffee Pot ""Do you do a lot of sitting?" he asked. "Well," I said, "I'm a novelist. So yes, I have to be at my writing desk for a good part of my day." He lectured me on needing to be active more, as if I, like him, hadn't studied for the MCAT."
"Time to put some Radiohead on and drift away. Eyes closed..."I'm not here...this isn't happening...I go where I please"..."
Ha, 180. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:23 AM Author: Dark spot pud, I hate whokebe as much as the next guy. But this is just mean. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505295) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:25 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry Ironic that whokebe's fanboys actually end up hurting whokebe by starting these flame wars. I didn't post the excerpt here until the fanboys started bothering me. I didn't post it on these other forums or blogs until the same. You'd think they'd see a pattern, but I guess they're not too bright. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505298) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:37 AM Author: unholy corn cake they clearly underestimated how devoted you are to prevailing over your internet rivals. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505309) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:38 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry def (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505311) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:24 AM Author: Walnut Curious Macaca Tattoo Strange, they deleted the thread on "writingforums." Or at least the post I made in it. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505297) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry Yeah, they deleted the whole thread. Maybe someone there googled the excerpt and found it on other sites asking for the same thing. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505300) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:27 AM Author: Walnut Curious Macaca Tattoo Well, they've made a powerful enemy out of junior forum member "His Doodness," I can tell you that much. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505303) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:28 AM Author: Odious awkward faggotry Maybe it was all the first-time posters in the thread that tipped them off.
I think that's part of how freerepublic called me out as a troll. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:29 AM Author: Walnut Curious Macaca Tattoo Probably. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505305) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 10:54 AM Author: aromatic cordovan turdskin I think he deleted it after a few non xoxers said they liked it... (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505504) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:19 AM Author: bateful yapping pit generalized bond stfu whokebe, no one likes your shitty novel. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505547) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:20 AM Author: aromatic cordovan turdskin ty (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505550) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: glassy dashing chapel water buffalo Given your dedication to this I wouldn't be surprised if these comments are products of your own writing.
But then again, that was one ridiculously long run-on sentence. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:30 AM Author: Dark spot By the way, I recommend all xoxoers to go to that forum, read some of the posts there (it's supposed to be a serious forum for discussion of philosophy), and come back to xoxo with a renewed appreciation for the talent that we actually have here. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505306) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 5:24 AM Author: Adventurous toilet seat lodge wait wtf, whokebe actually wrote that? christ, this might actually be worse than finding out he's a 15 year old with ADHD. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505333) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:09 AM Author: Irate Deer Antler Abode Who wants to critique my literotica story? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505530) |