Luckily there is a place for you, CARY (containment area for relocated Yankees)

Edit: never mind that’s in RALLEY

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5914983&forum_id=2#50205829)

Charlotte is just 1 big relocation zone for Yankees so he should be OK. Stay off the buses and never relax

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5914983&forum_id=2#50205848)

Oh daddy, won't you take me back to Mecklenburg County down by the Catawba River where paradise lay.

Well I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking, Duke Energy done dammed her anyway.

Well sometimes we'd swim in those hot bathtub waters

of Lake Norman, lose track of the tower cooling a mile away

Where the brown silty water of the ancient Catawba

Went up our suits and gave our nostrils a fill

And daddy won't you take me back to Mecklenburg County down by the Catawba where paradise lay?

Well I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking

Steph's three-pointers drained her charm all away

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5914983&forum_id=2#50205850)

Unfortunately due to the recession the government didn’t have the budget to keep them so Bank of America offered to resettle them in Charlotte. Now their programming occasionally kicks in at random (driving Nissan Altimas like they’re VBIEDs, stabbing people on public transit, etc.)

Charlotte dares to ask the question, “what if all the stuff that makes some people put up with larger cities wasn’t there?“ There’s more dangerous cities that are more expensive or have more traffic but at least they have some sort of semblance of something interesting.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5914983&forum_id=2#50205964)

There’s a private HOA pool that’s busy in the summer and your kids and the other neighborhood kids hang out and play there. You occasionally sneak in beers and shoot the shit with the other dads while trying not to be caught sneaking glances at the aging but still attractive wives in their bathing suits walking around. You notice that a lot of people had kids at younger ages here than your existence in NYC led you to believe was “normal.”

Your weekends are mostly spent doing stuff with your wife/kids or your friends. Your kids are in all sorts of sports and activities and you notice how all of these leagues thriving here and wonder if there’s been a baby boom. Your circle of friends hosts a house party every week or so. The kids run around the neighborhood and parents usually just hang out in someone’s large yard and nice patio. You find that you don’t really miss all the bars and tryhard restaurants from NYC.

Give that you only paid $485K for your house, you enjoy watching your money numbers go up all the time and are planning to retire early. You still keep in touch with your old friend who has a small $1.8M rowhouse outside of Park Slope, Brooklyn. He seems to be working all the time (which you remember from your NYC days but now enjoy the 9-5 work culture here) but mocks you and doesn’t understand how you can live in a such a soulless place with culture.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5914983&forum_id=2#50206614)

the monoculture reigns supreme now. from charlotte to nashville to farthest new jersey kids are in retarded travel sports teams from the time they're 7 and nobody leaves their house for purposes of interacting with a "neighbor".

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5914983&forum_id=2#50206648)

Your neighbor played football at UNC in the early 90s and retired from NASCAR where he worked for JRM as Earnhardt’s jack man. You don’t ever get to find out what a cool guy he is and hear any of his stories because you heard from other neighbors that he did something in the automotive industry and wrote him off as terminally prole.

You only associate with financial services superstars. You worked your way up from auditing BoAs corporate cash accounts to being the Global Controller for their credit cards division. You drive an Audi RS Q8 through gridlocked traffic to drop Brantley & Lucia off at a good Mecklenberg Co. public school, hoping to god your little girl doesn’t end up redistributed or bussed next year when she moves up to middle school.

(https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5914983&forum_id=2#50206806)