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Ranking Christianity branches in America
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:22 AM Author: Anglo living on the Rez Catholic Anglican Episcopal Presbyterian Methodist LCMS / whatever else they are affiliated with Non-denom Baptist Other Lutheran Puritan Quaker Church of Christ Mennonite 7th day / sda Anabaptist Unitarian Mormon Jehovah’s Witness
Lmk if I missed any
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:27 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban Quakers > > > > > > > Oneida Cultists Jesuits (Elite, painful theology) Mormons The Covenant, the Sword, and the Arm of the Lord Good protestants (reformed high church, theoretically episcopalians and some dissenter anglicans. possibly lutherans depending on the conference. money averse methodists. same for presbies) Sufism Reform judaism Orthodox judaism Bad protestants Thelemists Himmler (alt timeline conversion) ROMAN catholics |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:28 AM Author: Anglo living on the Rez Quakers above Mormon I suppose on my list (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233722) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:29 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban Quakers are one of the few sects I won't even make jokes about Those are some truly holy peoples. Like ultraortho hasidic jews stripped of the tribalism and the more noxious elements of the legalism. Same spirit |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:34 AM Author: ferengi Quakers are chill af. i went with a friend's family to Quaker church once as a kid and it was super laid-back. the few other church trips sprinkled into my childhood were less so. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233734) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:38 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban It's a religion for doctors They're doing incredible stuff in those dimly lit temples where the service format is quite literally "one by one go on stage and do what you want to do so long as it glorifies god and the book" Sing, dance, mutter shit from poorly remembered Julian of Norwich writings, read a poem about seeing the face of god in your Quaker Oats brand breakfast oatmeal, whatever They even thank you for it. It's entire worlds apart from your average Southern Baptist or generic evangelical service |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:40 AM Author: ferengi that's 180 (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233742) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:52 AM Author: Starving Autist I grew up Quaker. Like everything else in this country, it’s turned to SPS. The entire point is that there are no creeds and you figure it out because we all have the inner light of god. But when it comes to politics, it is uniform mega shitlib and you are ostracized if you’re not. It wasn’t always like that. Nixon was a Quaker. (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233759) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:57 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban The creeds are necessary enough on earth because they allow you to form a coalition of likeminded individuals to build a little slice of society around and keep beastmen from pillaging Marienburg and replacing your storied buildings with totems of poop and nigger penis It's cloud watching, almost decadent brahmin thinking to disavow the concept of religion and the common creed just because the world is a reality and most, if not all, people are forced to contend with some element of it in forms that range from commonly intelligible to completely individualized and bewildering to the outside observer If Christianity is "right enough" and you go to whatever heaven your Christian sect has in store for you then for sure Yeshu the Sorcerer is not going to go "Yes my son, we are all Roman Catholics here" as this stuff is just a consequence of faith interacting with the strictures and tribulations of the world probably |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:59 AM Author: Anglo living on the Rez he actually stayed a quaker although in his personal life didnt really seem to believe in it. he dressed very nice and was no pacifist (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233773) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 1:00 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban Nixon's favorite routine meal was cottage cheese with ketchup This is extremely disordered behavior and calls me to question all thoughts had previously about the Nixon administration |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:31 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban The more chill Anabaptists are also up there with the quakers probably. Same hasidic thing going on (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233729) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:29 AM Author: Brother Peter Dimond presbyterian? sda? (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233726) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:37 AM Author: Anglo living on the Rez Thank you. Updated. Can't believe I forgot presby (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233737) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:40 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban Unitarians I think the supreme court eagle master justice john paul stevens was a unitarian Very stealthy sect we need to shine some light on it |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:42 AM Author: Anglo living on the Rez don't know much about them, will cautiously put on same level as mormons though (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233745) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:44 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban they're closer to quakers theologically i think. somewhat open ended service and the music that i recall was not at all "awesome" or "imposing" but more contemplative and scarce. the organist had some calypso training so it was oddly tropical for a congregation of all white people lot of dyed in the wool liberals or progressives come out of that camp |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:46 AM Author: Anglo living on the Rez Quakers have a real historical basis in America so they get nudged up even if I don't agree w them on much, I am a southern colonial dood and I have literal ancestors who were quakers in North Carolina. Unitarian is some made in America BS just like Mormons. I am actually putting them slightly above Mormons tho now that I think about it (https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=5918981&forum_id=2#50233753) |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:52 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban Mormons are very, almost curiously successful in a "pragmatic" sense but not as much in an "ideal" one ime. Very strange religion to make sense of as an outsider and the ex-mormon narratives are either extremely personally involved and hateful (I HATE SOME ASSHOLE IN MY CONGREGATION SO ALL MORMONS ARE HORRIBLE BIGOTS AND ALSO WHAT IS THEOLOGY) or slavishly brainwashed Not many thoughtful moderates on the MQ afaik The religion is steeped in mid-late 1800s Anglophone thinking on the body politic which is also a curiosity and probably one of the pillars of mormon success in the new world |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:56 AM Author: Anglo living on the Rez down in the south we generally are skeptical of them. people around arkansas and missouri especially dont like them.
when it comes to Utah though the anti Mormons are actually worse than the Mormons. best to just avoid the state unless you are skiing or something |
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Date: November 5th, 2026 12:59 AM Author: harry potter and the nihilists of azkaban I've never spent much time in salt lake but I will say that the salt flats are one of the most unique biomes in the US and there's probably some arcane ancient power to them. Flying into SLC around sunrise or sunset and looking at the light hit the glimmering sand is a rapturous experience Perhaps Utah's bizarre geography was formed from the pillar of salt that Lot's wife turned into |